Most Passionate About???

[Collin'sMama]

What aspect of AP/NFL (ie extended breastfeeding, organic living, non circumcision, veganism, no CIO, babywearing, etc) are you most passionate about and why??

Jessica
Mama to Collin Alexander, 3/17/05

[Mama2Bug]

No CIO and GD

I really feel that babies need to be acknowledged and respected as people who have needs, rather than pets to be trained.

[2Sweeties1Angel]

No vax and no CIO. Gentle discipline is a very close second. Babywearing, organic living, and no circ are slightly lower. I would really have liked to try EBF but unfortunately I needed some meds that weren't compatible:( I'm not a vegan.

[flapjack]

Gentle birth, and extended breastfeeding- I think if you start off with the cornerstone of "baby knows best" then GD and no CIO kind of fall into place, and it leads on to TCS-type GD later on quite nicely.

[oceanbaby]

No CIO. Nothing makes me crazier than hearing about little babies screaming alone in the dark.

[moppity]

No CIO, the thought of it disgusts me.

BFing.

I don't quite know *what* this is exactly, but the fact that babies can't be spoiled. So cuddles and demand feeding and co sleeping all when SHE needs them. The fact that it's all about her, as I tell people when they suggest 'sleep training' methods, I didn't have a baby to only have her during the day.

[Mommiska]

I've changed over the years - it used to be breastfeeding, but now I'd have to say that it is circumcision. I just cannot fathom the idea of handing your child over to someone for them to cut off part of his genitals.

And I do think that if someone is able to stand up for their child in an American culture that still gives such pro-circ messages (as well as having so many fathers and fathers-to-be who are circed), then it is much easier to then follow your instincts on all of the other aspects of AP parenting...

[Lil'M]

Bfing and GD

[mbhf]

no CIO and no circ.


though i really liked what someone said about it being all about the baby. i hate seeing mothers put their own wants and needs over their babies.

[sleet76]

I feel most passionately about non-circ. I simply get sick to my stomach and shakey thinking about it too much. For some reason I get more of an awful physical response to that than the others.

[psyche]

I believe in breastfeeding above all else (though I do think it leads to an APish path).

[Llyra]

I reserve my deepest hatred for CIO. Listening to little babies cry makes me physically sick, and I cannot imagine how anyone could hear that and not immediately want to pick the baby up and comfort it. I've had to leave public places many times when a baby has been crying in a stroller and the parent is just blithely going about his/her business hardly seeming to notice. :irked:

I'm also pretty fired up about TV watching, which is not a typical topic mentioned as NFL, but for me comes with the package.

[oyemicanto]

What aspect of AP/NFL (ie extended breastfeeding, organic living, non circumcision, veganism, no CIO, babywearing, etc) are you most passionate about and why??

Jessica
Mama to Collin Alexander, 3/17/05
I would have to say no CIO and gentle discipline. For me, respect for the child and his/her needs is so basic that I simply can't fathom why people have children if they view them as an inconvenience. I just don't get it.

Circumcision is really coming up on my radar more and more. I feel really angry about parents that circ their sons and for doctors not condemning the practice.

[elmh23]

No CIO and GD

I really feel that babies need to be acknowledged and respected as people who have needs, rather than pets to be trained.

Couldn't have said it better! I know so many people who treat their kids like property instead of actual humans, it makes me sick.

[lauriem33]

Extended breastfeeding. Dh has an aunt who is trying to convince herself that nursing for three months is really what "they" say is good enough to give the babies all the benefits they need. She is going back to work and is switching her baby to formula at three months because she thinks pumping would be too much of a hassle. <sigh>

[ToniaStarr]

wow, this is a tough one. I guess for me it changes depending on the circumstances. I tend to be very protective of my children so when a person make s a comment to me in regards to how I parent I get fired about it in a sense, kwim? For me it begins with unassisted pregnancy. I want to start out keeping this child in my hands so to speak, ya know? Just responding to my child as a whole, in temrs of no cio, exclusive bfing, co sleeping, etc.... It's tough to pick out a few I feel are most important cuz for us it is simply how we parent and live.

[MamaBug]

No CIO ever, and co-sleeping.

[JamesMama]

I guess for me it's a tie

Breastfeeding and CIO

The idea of a poor little baby screaming all alone in a room makes me sick to my stomach, but the idea of a woman choosing to formula feed (CHOOSING!!! Not being forced to by circumstance) makes me so upset I could just scream.

[wildmonkeys]

Responsiveness to children's needs and gentle discipline

BJ
Barney & Ben

[Jilian]

Breastfeeding is the most important aspect of parenting to me. I think it is one of the best things by far you can do for your child.

I'm also an advocate for gentle and natural birthing, I believe that natural birth is about making a sacrifice for the benefit of your child, and to me that is what being a mother is all about.

Circing makes me VERY angry, I just can't understand why someone (knowing all the facts about circ) would have it done to their newborn son.

[Storm Bride]

No CIO & no circ. These things both make me feel physically ill.

I'm a huge breastfeeding supporter, but I don't do what anybody here would call extended breastfeeding (weaned ds1 at 10 months, because I thought I needed to wean him to get pregnant, then I didn't - live and learn, I guess....dd self-weaned at 21 months, when I was pregnant with ds2).

I also strongly believe in natural birth, but mine have all been c-sections, so I don't think I'm passionate enough about that one.

I'm pro-CD, but actually use a mix of cloth (still have some from ds1!) and disposables.

I'm not vegetarian, and eat a lot of non-organic food. But, as mine and dh's financial situation has improved, we've started to eat more organic food.

I try to GD, but I do have trouble keeping my cool, and lose my temper with dd sometimes. She gets yelled at more than she should...and I actually smacked her yesterday when she hit her little brother...think my thoughts went something like "she hit my baby" - arm started to swing - "she's my other baby" - pulled back, but had already caught her arm. :( Some days, I feel like a total failure. I did, at least, make sure she knew I was sorry, and that it was NOT her fault - it was mine...poor baby girl...

[because]

It's so hard to pick. Basically, I get really riled up at the thought of not treating babies/children like humans. If we're talking circ, GD, CIO... they're all part of that.

I do find circ to be the biggest human rights violation, though. Torture, plain and simple.

[The4OfUs]

no CIO
GD
Breastfeeding

in that order.

[BensMom]

I would say no CIO is a biggie for me. I loathe Ezzo and the Pearls and their blind flock of sheep and feel like there has to be a special place in hell for people who condone child abuse as God's will. Whew. I guess I do feel passionate about that one.

Breastfeeding is a close second as I do not understand women who choose not to even try. But I also have deep feelings of frustration and resentment at the "system" (doctors, nurses, bosses, parents, the media) that creates such an anti-BFing environment.

Lastly, I feel passionate about "informed birth". As I learned with my recent unwanted c/s, you can be as informed as possible and still end up under the knife, so I perfer the term informed to natural since life throws you curve balls. But what irks me most is the OB-loving women who sign up for their non-necessary induction at 38 weeks, get the epidural at the first contraction, end up with a c/s and then love the fact that they get to schedule all future babies. Grrr.

[roseselene]

I hope i don't have to pick just one

in no particular order:
Cloth diapering, breastfeeding, non circing, non-CIO


Amy :)

[TchrGrrl]

No CIO, GD'ing, **Respect**

[kate~mom]

no cio and no circ. like a pp said, they both create a pit in the bottom of my stomch when i think about them.

this is a topic i've been thinking about for some reason recently. i've come to the realization that perhaps no circ *may be one of the easier things to advocate for because it's a once and done decision, whereas no cio, bf, babywearing, cosleeping are more lifestyle decisions. thoughts? not to hijack the thread though...

[hipem]

Gentle, natural, and, like a pp said, *informed* childbirth is such a biggie for me.

But it's hard to put anything above no-circ and no cio...they do both seem like torture.

EBF and co-sleeping just seem so natural to me that I forget I can get worked up about those too. I somehow lost my passion about CD-ing with ds (and used Seventh Gen instead) but am now trying to find my way back.

[rootzdawta]

I'm just passionate period and this sometimes gets me in trouble.

I'm most passionate about breastfeeding, I would say, and that ties in with my passion about proper diet/nutrition (organic, whole, natural foods). Next down the list is circumcision (which interferes with initiating the breastfeeding relationship so that's natural). I'm passionate about treating children like whole people not half people or people without feelings, emotions, likes/dislikes, therefore I'm passionate about gentle discipline/no CIO. I'm passionate about cloth diapering (and one day hope to be passionate about elimination communication) and I'm passionate about wearing my baby, I'm super-passionate about homeschooling/real education.

I'm just passionate!

[Susannah M]

Circing - in addition to the many medical reasons not to do it, I feel like if my DS wants to be circumcised that is something he should decide the "when" of - not me.

[WuWei]

Mutual respect. I miss seeing you GD-passionate women posting in the GD forum. Please do post. :love

Pat

[starlein26]

i'm most passionate about natural childbirth (no drugs :drink) , extended nursing :toddler: , and co-sleeping :fambed22 .

[meowmix]

I believe in and advocate many more natural things but I think I really dislike CIO most. My old neighbours used to allow their children to CIO to nap everyday and I could hear them just crying away on the baby monitor as they had their other children outside. Oh, it made me desperate sometimes. I HATED hearing them cry! So I guess, CIO, although I normally don't speak up about things unless I am directly asked.

As my son gets to Kindergarten age I also find I am pretty much against the pressure of early academics around here and I am becoming more and more antimedia for young children.

It has changed as I have gotten older. I know that as they get older I would probably turn more enviromental in nature and we would be picking up trash on our walks (well, we do that alot now) and I would probably become even more antibig agribusiness in the name of my children's future. When they were babies it was BFing that I was most passionate about.

[sparkprincess]

All of the above! :lol I'm verrrrry opinionated!!

Seriously tho, I think no CIO (especially in the first year of life), and GD are my biggest. Although breastfeeding is a biggie too - even if it's just the first year of life!

Sigh. My friends probably groan every time they see me coming!

[wannabe]

no circ and BFing

If feel that at the very least, a baby's body should be safe and whole - then you can work on everything else.

[DevaMajka]

I'd say:
gd- (I hate the use of behaviorism on kids),
no circing (I was stupid stupid stupid and had ds circed- It makes me raging mad that anyone would choose to circ, after being informed on it)

and the idea that holding babies all the time spoils them. IMO, "wanting" to be held, means they NEED to be held/attention (even for toddlers).

[Desdamona]

Like some of the PP have said genlte, natural, INFORMED births are up at the top for me. As is "ecological" breastfeeding. Carrying/wearing your baby and cosleeping. I think with this foundation a lot of the other AP/NFL falls into place without hesitation.

[SomedayMom]

Absolutely non-circ and BF.

[zjande]

Wow, tough one.
I'd have to say, what gets me all fired up the most is:
gentle discipline, #1
veganism (why be kind to our babies but horrifically cruel to other species'?)
television, I feel it's brainwashing our nation

I guess those are my top 3 of my 7895.87 things I have very strong opinions on. :lol :Peace

[mama_b]

Definitely no CIO. Because of the misinformation out there, I can find a way to be non-judgemental about just about everything else. I can even have sympathy for someone who tried CIO and has remorse because they realized it was wrong, but people who use it regularly and preach it and defend it..................... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :splat

[JZDmama]

No CIO and breastfeeding on demand/extended nursing. I think they kinda go hand in hand though. Mama's milk always takes the tears away.

[minkajane]

That's a tough one. I think what I'm most passionate about first and foremost is babies' physical health, especially in terms of things that are irreversable (elective C-sections or inductions, circumcision, breastfeeding, early solids, junk food, physical abuse). Next is babies' emotional health (CIO, cosleeping, GD, bonding).

The thing I get most fired up about is circumcision. NO ONE has the right to remove a healthy piece of a baby's genitals! It drives me batty when someone insists that it's just my OPINION that there are no health benefits to circ. Uh, NO, the AAP, WHO, CAP, and everybody else who matters says it too. Why do people defend it so strongly? More importantly, WHY IS IT STILL LEGAL????

Sorry, rant over.

The other thing I get really fired up about is breastfeeding. It makes me SO sad when moms won't even try ONCE to breastfeed. And it's seen as no big deal! Nurses just shrug and hand them a bottle of formula. People are so focused on not making FF moms feel guilty that they refuse to encourage anyone to breastfeed. :angry

[Mountaingirl3]

I'm so passionate about all these things when I think of the actual individual babies/children/people involved. In the abstract, something like breastfeeding vs formula may seem like just a choice, but when I think of an actual new, tiny baby rooting for his mother's breast and never finding it---AAAAAH, it slays me.

Same with CIO or circ. Before I had kids, I could have rationalized those, but now that I know the absolute goodness, trust and fragility of a baby, those things break my heart.

For lucky kids in developed countries, I have to say GD is #1 because I think it leads to an overall attitude of respect. It helps you realize that instead of striving for obedience or molding your child, you can discover who they are, gain their trust and cooporation, help them develop emotional intelligence etc.

-----Warning, discussion of kids unlucky enough to be poor------













For kids in the third world, I'm horrified by much more basic things like how it must feel as a mother to be unable to feed your children. Or how I would feel if my child was sick and I couldn't afford a doctor. The inequity between countries where we live, and places where kids die of totally treatable diseases gets me pretty worked up.

Sometimes I wonder if I took a little of my outrage at non-AP parenting and put it towards outrage at the unbelievable suffering of children in Rwanda or Haiti or Peru, it could make a difference. (Just read a book called Mountains Beyond Mountains about a doc. in Haiti.) Sorry if hijacking.

[witchbaby]

circ and breastfeeding
kids should get to keep all their healthy body parts and get the food that is specifically made for them. it's only their right.

[Sharlla]

I'd say no CIO, GD, and no circ are the big ones for me.

[kayjayjay]

I was recently talking to a mama with a 5 week old babe, and as we were talking she changed his (disposable) diaper. I was so overjoyed to see that he was intact that I was still smiling even when she pulled out a bottle and started to feed him. :)

So I guess my answer is no circ. Although the others are important as well.

[talk de jour]

Breastfeeding and no CIO.

No circ is a close second.

[kamilla626]

No CIO / GD / Responding to children's needs (not just what we think their needs are).

They all sort of stem from the same thing.

[suprgrl]

I'd have to say it is a tie between no circ and no cio. Those are outright abusive to a child's physical and emotional self.

There are so many other issues I also feel strongly about, but those top the list.

Ronna

[CuriousLion]

As someone else said...I'm just passionate about this stuff in general. But if I had to pick one I'd say circ. I see it as a disgusting violent act that can never be un-done. I do believe in bf'ing and and all these other things...but I wasn't bf and I'm pretty healthy. Not advocating here! Just saying...breastfeeding is a better choice, but a ff baby is still being fed. As for things like cio and gd...I guess I feel like emotional wounds can be healed. Hopefully they won't be inflicted in the first place, but I don't see it as such permanent damage as physically cutting off a part of a child. I would certainly never let my son cio or anything like that, but I think circing him would be worse. With circ...they're doing something that can never be reversed...the child is physically damaged forever. (I know men can "restore" but it's not the same) I get so sick thinking that it was done to DH. I tend to think...emotional wounds can be healed (maybe because I've had my own emotional wounds and worked on them a lot), but no one can ever give a male his foreskin back. My mother inflicted emotional wounds on me and I can heal those...if she'd allowed someone to cut off a part of me...I could never get that back. So, I guess I just see it as the most irreversable thing and therefore I would be more active in advocating against that.

[Kristine233]

Babywearing for sure!! I live, breath and sleep slings! its truely an addiction because I totally believe and have seen the benefts from it.

[nonconformnmom]

Natural, drug-free births. Breastfeeding. Those are my two biggest. I'm also particularly passionate about shielding children from commercialism and marketing to children - so excessive tv for children is a passion point for me. Also, parents feeding junk food to young children really gets my goat.

[Drummer's Wife]

Breastfeeding and Circumcision. I strongly believe that every baby deserves to be breastfed and every little boy should be allowed to keep his foreskin :)

[Attached Mama]

I guess first would be no circumcision because it is irreversible and extremely painful and cruel.
Close second - breastfeeding and no CIO and gentle discipline.
AFter that it's hard to put an order to it but I"m passionate about not eating animals and eating organic, about natural living - cloth diapers, no chemicals etc. and about sleeping with or right next to baby.

[Collin'sMama]

Thank you all for the responses!

After listening to alot of your stories and knowlege on these boards, I am so ashamed of myself.
I circumcised my son and didn't breastfeed "just because". I was on Paxil and my doctor said no one was really sure yet if it hurt the baby so I just took it at that and didn't think twice about it.
I know it is NO excuse, but I was just so naive. I knew nothing about babies and although I read everything I could about pregnancy, birth and babies during my pregnancy- I only read the mainstream things. So I thought I knew so much and now I am just apalled at how people like me, young women brought up in a mainstream household, may never have the chance to find the information I have.
It wasn't until my son was two months old and I went to the library to get baby books b/c I needed to get out of the house that I picked up the book "Attachment Parenting" by Katie Allison Granju that I caught my first glimpse of how different things could (and SHOULD!) be. It made so much sense to me. I stopped listening to my mother, my MIL, and everyone I knew when they told me to put my baby in his crib or to let him fuss. I started wearing him....
and I have slowly learned more as I went along. How I wish I would have known this all sooner though! I only just learned a month ago that I could have started breastfeeding him even though I hadn't at first. I found this site about a month ago too and am ecstatic. I have so much to learn.
Yet.....what do I do about the things I have done that I can't take back??? (circumcision, no breast feeding, not cosleeping until 2+ months)
It kills me.......

[because]

:Hug

"When you know better, you do better." --Maya Angelou

Please be kind to yourself, Mama. Your son is so lucky to have a mama who does these things NOW.

I'm sure every single one of us will learn somehting next week or next year or 10 years from now and regret not knowing it earlier. That's life, though. Live and learn, YK?

Don't beat yourself up for what you haven't done; love yourself what you have done and are doing every single day for that sweet boy of yours!

[Collin'sMama]

Thank you :)