how to tell family i'm using GD

[boricuaqueen327]

I need suggestions on how to talk to my family about my decision regarding disciplining my almost 2 year old. I decided a while back (when i was still pregnant) that I would not spank my child and try my best not to raise my voice in a scary/mean way. I grew up with both things and it was NOT effective with me at all. Anyway, dd is a very curious and outspoken toddler. She is saying new words all the time but is not very verbal yet. Anytime she gets into something she shouldnt I redirect her and engage her in something else. If she has a tantrum, I help her calm down and again, redirect her. If she is hitting (a person or our dogs), I tell her that it is not nice to hit and show her how to touch gently. If that doesnt work I remove her form the situation. My family seems to be getting very frustrated with me and are telling me more and more that I need to "discipline" her and give her "character". It would be easier if we werent living with them, but we are so I need help thinking of how to tell them to let me do things my way. TIA!

[TortelliniMama]

I would probably just state it very plainly, and make it clear that it's not up for debate. If they try to "step in" and use other forms of discipline, tell them in no uncertain terms that you get to make the decisions for your child. You don't need their approval or permission, and you don't have to participate in repeated conversations about your choices. If they want to hear about your reasons for handling a situation in a particular way, and you're okay talking about it, then you could do that, but don't let them (or you) think that you have to convince them that you're right. It's just for their edification.

[mom2owen1]

you may just need to be direct and tell them you have chosen gentle disapline and educate them a little on what that is. that gentle disapline isn't a lack of disapline, it isn't permissive parenting, etc.

there was a good article on gentle disapline not too long ago in mothering magazine. it is one i am going to ask dh to read as it is fairly concise and makes a lot of really good points. would they read something?

kris
owen, 15 months

[Piglet68]

:yeah:

Yup, you don't need to justify GD. You simply need to say that they had their chance raising their children and now it is your chance. You make the decisions and you have your reasons. Say if they are ever interested you can give them information, but don't count on them ever asking for it. But otherwise simply say it isn't up for discussion.