Oh, WHY can't he just go to sleep already?

[Al Dente]

I'm exhausted...dh is exhausted...ds (22 mos) is exhausted and sobbing and throwing a tantrum about everything...but he just won't go to sleep. I have lost my patience twice and yelled at ds tonight :guilty and am just trying to calm down while dh gives ds a bath so I can take over and try to nurse him to sleep for the 50,000 time tonight.

Why won't he just roll over and go to sleep? He's a very bright child, so why doesn't he realize "oh, it must be time for me to close my eyes like I do every night. Mommy will be here right beside me, I'm okay, let me go to sleep now"? NO! He has to fight every inch of the way. I am so, so tired of being a parent right now. I want to sleep for 10 hours straight and not have to worry about falling into a too-deep sleep because ds is going to wake me up any minute.

He's crying again in the bathtub! I cannot handle this...it's so much harder now that he's a toddler...I just thought one day he would get it and he'd actually sleep at night.

[Isis]

:Hug Sounds like a rough night! I know it'll get better. My ds is the same way sometimes at 21 months old! He only nurses to sleep and then he's up in the middle of the night. I too would LOVE a 10 hr. stretch but remember: WE WILL GET IT ONE DAY! It's OK to feel like this- you wouldn't be human if you didn't. You may seem inpatient- but you're not. :) Hang in there!

[WuWei]

This is from the posting guidelines at the top of this forum:

Please appreciate that this forum is not a place to uphold or advocate CIO (Crying It Out). Personal preferences for and encouragement of the use of CIO and similar sleep training methods are inappropriately posted here. Posts of that nature will be edited by the member upon request or will be removed.




Pat

[blessed]

This is from the posting guidelines at the top of this forum...PatOh, I'm sorry. Just trying to help.

I'm definitely against 'crying it out', which I interpreted as leaving the baby untended to until they finally fell asleep. This technique that my friend used involved being immediately outside baby's room and religiously checking in and retucking the child literally every minute to 10 minutes, all night long if necessary.

I'd be loathe to ever let my baby cry unattended to for even a moment, so I understand the objections. Truth is, my poor friend had to sort of win me over when she first talked about what they were doing. But I realized that it wasn't fair for me to judge her when I was sleeping through the night every night and wasn't facing her issues.

Then, seeing the resounding success that they achieved in just 3 days time made me realize I probably oughtn't toss the baby with the bathwater, so I felt at least a bit more open to the idea of what they'd done.

No big deal. Feel free to edit this all away if you think that's best.

[WuWei]

I don't see the difference between intentionally leaving a baby alone to cry and intentionally leaving a baby alone to cry.

Pat

[blessed]

I imagine the idea is that the baby has a sense that his parent is reliably going to return to him and comfort him, since throughout the night the parent predictably appears every x number of minutes. Surely that's a different experience than just wailing for 2 hours unanswered until you finally collapse into exhaustion.

Sort of like when I need to leave my baby to go to work. It's important to her that I'm tell her that I'm going, who she's going to be with while I'm gone, that I assure her that I'll see her after her afternoon nap, and that I say good-bye. I've figured out over time that if those conditions are met, she'll kiss me, wave as walk out the door and happily turn to playing with her friends. If not, she's anxious and upset to see me go.

But everyone needs to parent with their hearts. As I say, I couldn't imagine putting my baby down and standing outside the door while she cries. But on the other hand, I haven't been through night after night of her crying ANYWAY, despite that fact that I was already right there holding her. If that were the case, trying a different tactic to deal with her crying might seem more acceptable, especially if I found that it actually worked and baby was better for it.

Well, enough already. There are many ways to skin a cat in childrearing, that's for sure. I don't mean to tread outside the comfort zone here, so I won't debate about any further. I want to respect the beliefs and customs of this forum.

cheers!

[Arwensmommy]

Hugs to you, mama! I hope it will get better soon. Hang in there, and know that you are doing one heck of a job for your little man! You rock!!

[WuWei]

Please do consider if his diet is interfering in his sleep. Our son has many food intolerances which create aggression-dairy (casein and whey) and hyper/restless/aggitated behaviors: artificial colors red and yellow, high fructose corn syrup (not sugar), soy, wheat, and high salicylate foods. See the Feingold Diet on line for more info. If you'd like more info, I will be glad to post some threads that I have discussed this further.

Please also read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Pantley. I learned many useful tools and tips to helping our son with sleep associations WITHOUT resorting to crying alone. Our son was waking every 60-90 minutes until age 18-24 months.

HTH, Pat

[CelticMomma]

At 22 months, he's got a lot going on. I'm betting there's something about to happen, molars will be cutting, speech will be exploding, he'll figure out how to jump or something like that.

In the meantime, may I just gently point out that 22 months is kind of young to be alone in the bathtub, even if it's only a couple inches of water. Reading that made me kind of nervous. I'm hoping I'm misunderstanding.

Good luck to you both getting through this hard time. The toughest times are normally the peak of something and then it will start getting better. Here's hoping that's what is about to happen for you.

[WuWei]

I believe that you misunderstood: Her dh was giving the toddler the bath, while she had a few minute break. It didn't sound like ds was alone in the bathtub. :thumb

Pat

[CelticMomma]

Oh, whew! I totally missed that part. Sorry I misunderstood!

[sparkprincess]

No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers is available now! :thumb I really like some of the ideas in it.

Sorry things are so hard for you right now. :(

[Al Dente]

Thanks ladies...I have known for over a year now that ds is just a terrible sleeper. I'm hoping someday that he can sleep all night and put himself back to sleep regularly. Until then, I will be surviving on the sleep he lets me get.

The tantrum thing is really getting to me though...I can't understand why such a happy, easygoing kid (who was a terrible sleeper) is now all of a sudden this unpredictable, whiney, tantruming kid (who is still a terrible sleeper, and an even more terrible sleeper to boot). All his teeth are in...he's not sick...it just seems to be a stage and I wasn't prepared for it to impact nighttime!

I appreciate your thoughts and input...and letting me vent!

[Tuesday]

Thanks ladies...I have known for over a year now that ds is just a terrible sleeper. I'm hoping someday that he can sleep all night and put himself back to sleep regularly. Until then, I will be surviving on the sleep he lets me get.

The tantrum thing is really getting to me though...I can't understand why such a happy, easygoing kid (who was a terrible sleeper) is now all of a sudden this unpredictable, whiney, tantruming kid (who is still a terrible sleeper, and an even more terrible sleeper to boot). All his teeth are in...he's not sick...it just seems to be a stage and I wasn't prepared for it to impact nighttime!

I appreciate your thoughts and input...and letting me vent!

Rachee, I'm sorry because I can't not offer constructive advice. I just wanted to say vent away and you're not alone in your struggles. I was thinking about starting a similar post. DS is 31 months and been getting progressively worse with his bedtime tantrums since about 26 months, I think. It's hard to be patient every single night, night after night. I keep telling myself, as with all his stages, "this too shall pass". I'm pregnant with #2 and just hoping the tantrums pass before #2 arrives.

scubamama - thanks for the interesting comments regarding diet too. DS has been consuming an increasing amount of dairy as his nursing has dwindled.

Not meaning to hijack the thread, just wwanteed to let you know you're not alone. :throb