22 month old gets up 3-6x a night-NEED ADVICE!!

[mom2natty]

Okay, as my DS approaches age two, I am feeling more and more ready to make a change in sleep habits. He nurses to sleep (the only way he falls asleep aside from riding in the car) and throughout the night when he moves into his "light sleep stage" he needs me (my breasts) to get back into deeper sleep. I have half-heartedly tried a few nights to offer holding, patting,rubbing his back, singing, etc instead, but he crys and takes so much longer to go back down that I give up after a while. Plus we're in an apartment complex where I can sometimes hear the upstairs neighbor cough, so I am sure they are loving the 3am cryfests!

My question is, is it ok for me to sleep in the other room with earplugs for a few nights and have DH sleep with him and try and comfort him through his wakings......going from mom all night to no mom for a few nights......is that too much, too soon...should I go more gradually? I just have a hard time holding my ground and end up BF'ing after he crys for a while (which I am sure is the WRONG message). I hate to hear him cry (even though now it seems he is angry that I am not following our usual routine, rather than scared, lonely etc). But I know that I would be a better daytime mom if I could get some sleep. I havent slept fopr more than 3 hours straight in almost 2 years and I am painfully tired. What are your thoughts?

[Snowbaby]

I think that at 22 months old, it's perfectly reasonable for you to expect more than 3 hours of sleep in a row ... and I think your baby could use longer stretches of sleep as well.

I think it's a great idea for you to leave the bed for a few days and let DH soothe him back to sleep. He'll fight you on it but I think he's old enough to get through it okay and you'll all be glad for the extra sleep.

[TiredX2]

:hug

First, have you addressed any possible physical isses? Too hot? Too cold? Scratcy pajamas? Food allergies? Teething? Etc...

Secondly, I want you to know that frequent night waking at 22 months is still within the wide range of normal.

Both of my kids were waking every 1-2 hours at that age. We were able to "night wean" (for 4-5 hours) DD at 25 months. We never nightweaned DS and he did eventually sleep through the night (5+ hours) consistently on his own.

How often does DS nurse during the day? How is his napping? Has this every three hours been pretty consistent since birth or has it increased/decreased recently.

Also, one more comment--- 17-22 months is a fairly high need nursing phase and many children seem to really cut back on nursing (and night nursing) shortly after two so waiting a couple months may bring a lot of changes.

[TiredX2]

Oh, I also encourage you before attempting any night weaning to really decide what you are after.

Do you want 4 hours? 5 hours? 6 hours? 8 hours?

Do you want DS to sleep away from you?

Do you just need *A* night alone? A week to get a full night sleep and you'll be fine, or are you looking for 10+ hours of sleep nightly from now on?

I found, with dd, that when I really felt that I *had* to nightwean her (was recovering from mono & was newly pg) for at least a few hours, it happened w/out too many tears. I don't know if that is because she was old enough to go 4 hours (25 months) or just because it was clear I WAS NOT going to nurse her from 11pm-3/4am, or what, but it wasn't too hard. If your DS is upset for more than a few minutes each time he wakes and continues being so for more than a few days, I would consider the idea that he is simply not ready for longer spaces during the night.

[mom2natty]

Thank you both. TiredX2, you're right, there are always a host of factors to complicate the situation too. For instance I think that his 2 year molars might be starting to bother him, and he's got a runny noes today and he just got over a yeasty diaper rash that was bothering him at night. It is always something. I don't want to attempt our new sleep change when there is some obvious challenge going on for him, for sure.

We HAVE ruled out a lot of potential night waking causes (temp, pajamas, food allergies, comfy bed, etc) I am pretty convinced it is a learned habit (which I felt was an important need since birth but I'm just starting to feel he is getting old enough to cut back). He has been a regualr night waker since birth......it has varied mildly due to teething, colds, moving etc. but been pretty consistant. He's healthy and happy. He naps well and regularly, nurses a few times during the day, a lot in the morning upon waking and before naps and bedtime (with a couple quickies throughout the day). He gose down easily (nursing of course).

Good question about what do I really want. I would be thrilled to get 5 hours uninterupted a night. Maybe I'll start there. I think I need to be in another bed for those five hours.....After the molar pain seems to have subsided I will try 11pm-4am with DH on night duty and see how it goes. He'll (DS) be mad, and he'll cry and it will take him longer to get back down than nursing....should I do this 2? 3? 4nights? more? before "giving up" if it does not seem to be getting better? Thanks again to all you wise, wonderful mamas out there.