Need help getting 6mo down in the evenings...

[Roxanne05]

I need suggestions on getting my 6mo son down in the evenings.

We've been co-sleeping since week three and never established any nighttime routine. I always try to get him down sometime between 7:30-8:30. Every night is a different experience. Most nights I get him down, and he sleeps for 20, 30, maybe 45 minutes if we're lucky. Then I try nursing him back to sleep, if he goes back down it's usually the same story - he's up again in less than an hour. Often I give up and just go to bed myself - and then he goes to sleep no problem. This whole routine, or lack of, is really getting old and I don't know what to do. I would love to have my evenings again. My son is 100% breastfed on demand and will not take a bottle. We are totally against the CIO method. All suggesions are welcome....

[alegna]

My dd has always been a night owl. She napped in the evenings, but never went down for the night until 11pm or later. Maybe your son just isn't ready for bed yet?

good luck!

-Angela

[shayinme]

No advice to give since I am in the same place with my 6 mo dd. My dd goes to bed between 10-11 since that is when I go to sleep. Maybe you could keep your son up until you are ready to go to bed.

Shay

[mom2owen1]

I would start by altering his bedtime, as pp's said maybe he just isn't tired (or he is overtired). We don't really have a routine - we put jammies on after dinner and just look for sleepy cues. once he has started rubbing his eyes or stumbling alot we know the next time he asks to nurse we should head upstairs. we rock, sing & nurse. i don't recall our exact situation at 6 months, but i do know ds was waking every hour to nurse (he did until he was 10 months old). there have been periods of time that he was ready to sleep at 6 and other times at 10 with times of variation.

other then that i would advise to just stick with it. he will eventually space out his wakings. you could try to look for a reason, like a growth spurt, etc but it would not change the fact that he does wake.

you could however try to alter his surroundings to see if it makes a difference. does he sleep better in the swing? what about a sling? could he sleep on you in the living room until you go to bed?

hang in there!

kris
owen, 15 months

[CelticMomma]

We really don't start a routine until our child is ready. When they're little like they, we generally keep the baby up with us, alternately napping on my chest or my DH's chest and then we all go to bed together for the night. Babies are so transient with their sleeping patterns, I find it hard to really nail down a pattern for a while.

With both of my kids, though, they eventually got regular with their sleep. My DD (our first) started going to bed at 9:00 when she was 14 months old to the day. Over the next few months, she slowly moved that up to 7:00. She would wake occasionally, but mostly just be content in bed until I joined her around midnight. My son started going to bed at the same time as our daughter (who's three years older) when he was 10 months old. He's a super easy sleeper (mostly anyway, he's still up tonight!) and generally goes to bed when you suggest it's bedtime. He actually runs for the bedroom door and bangs on it till you open it for him, then climbs into bed and waits for me. LOL.

My point is that not setting a routine now doesn't mean he won't ever establish one. He will, when he's ready. It can be hard waiting for that to happen, but there are some coping methods. Do you have a special blanket or rug for him? My DD would sometimes nap on this super thick korean blanket called a mink (like a velour rug with fleece on the back). I could lay her down there at night and get a few things done, and she napped there frequently during the day. When you have only one child (and no pets) that can work.

Another thing to consider is laying down with him until he falls asleep and then getting up again yourself. If you're nursing him down in another room and then moving him into the place where he'll sleep, that's sure to disrupt him. But, nursing him down without moving him might increase your chances of getting away for a little while. You can leave an article of your clothing near him (like a bra, or something that smells like your milk), although I've never tried that so can't say if it would really work. I also nurse my son to sleep for naps with the tv on and leave it on when I leave the room so it sort of muffles any sound.

[CuriousLion]

DS is 7 months old. Getting him to sleep isn't the easiest sometimes, but I have a string of things I do...eventually something works! :lol

Here's our routine: At 7 DS gets "nakey time." Naked time, I mean. :lol By that time of day he's usually grumpy, but he likes to play in front of the mirror (he has mirrored closet doors) with no clothing or diaper on. And I figure it's good for his bum to get some air before being in a big nighttime diaper all night. So, he has about 10 minutes of naked time and that makes him happy. Then I get his diaper and pajamas on. Then I read a story to him and that usually calms him down. His favorite bedtime books are Goodnight Moon and All I See is Part of Me. For some reason those ones seem to make him calm.
Then I nurse him. Sometimes he falls asleep nursing and I put him down. More often now he doesn't so I will lay down with him until he falls asleep. Usually he goes to sleep then. If not I let him stay up like a 1/2 hour and let him sit on my lap while I look at these forums. :lol He'll start getting bored and showing sleep cues so then I'll lay back down with him and maybe nurse him in bed. It's pretty rare that he's still awake by that point. But if he is still up at that point I'm usually over it and ask DH for help. :o Some nights it goes easy and he's asleep by 7:30, other nights I have to go through the whole process, but he's asleep by 8:30 99% of the time.

And he's a pretty good sleeper once he's in bed unless he's got a tooth coming in like right now.

[Roxanne05]

Thanks so much for the replies. It's great to be reminded that I need to just trust him. He'll sleep when he's tired, eat when he's hungry, etc. In general, that has been my mothering style from the start and it's worked quite well. I will look for his cues in the evenings and put him down accordingly.

[turtlemama77]

I think dd was around 11-12 months before she started sleeping longer than 45 minutes initially at night (I could set clocks based on her 45 minutes stretch of sleep that first part of the night!). I read somewhere that 45 minutes is a typical sleep cycle for a baby. dd woke up needing someone to comfort her and to nurse back to sleep. Now she stirs a little bit and generally sleeps 3-4 hours before she wakes and needs someone (at this point we bring her to bed with us). So it does pass...you just have to be patient. I was actually surprised by how many other mamas were having the same thing happen!

Hang in there!!

[irwinleah]

I agree with waiting for his cues. We went through the crazy nighttime, no routine thing as well. I still don't feel like dd is ready for a routine since when she's tired all she wants to do is go to sleep. So we don't start doing any "bedtime" things right then. She has gradually chosen 6:30 or so for her bedtime. It used to be a nap around 5:00, then bed around 8:00. But that 5:00 nap started getting later, so we just put her to bed at 6:30 or so. She does wake up a few times between then and 11:00 or so, but easily goes back to sleep with a little patting/pacifier. We then take her to bed with us when we go to bed.
I just found it was better to wait for her to establish what her body needed--sometimes I wish it wasn't such an early bedtime as she's up in the morning at 5:30 or 6:00. But we've experimented with putting her down later and like the books say, she'll get up earlier!

[Slabobbin]

We didn't get into a routine with our daughter until she was a bit older (I can't remember the exact age). She is going to be a year old this month and now it is like clock work. At 8:00 (or as close to as possible) I will nurse and then she will lay on daddy's chest and in literally two to three minutes she is out like a light.