books?

[plantmama]

So ds, age 2, and I have been having some issues (power struggles?) and I've been yelling a lot and some times totally losing it with the yelling :( . He can sometimes be purposfully naughty and make huge messes- so frustrating!
Anyway, though this forum often helps a lot I'm looking for some books to help me out, give me some inspiration. I just need ideas on how I can deal with my own temper, my own reactions to yell and sometimes freak out and cry. And ideas on what to do with ds when he won't listen. I know others have issues with similar things- getting dressed, food, etc...the sore spots of parenting a two y/o? I feel like we are pretty relaxed parents and dh and I just need a little boost to help us think of gentler and more respectful ways to discipline when it comes to safety, well being, and the few non-negotiable things we have with him.
I just ordered Raising our children raising ourselves. And was looking at easy to love, difficult to discipline and also a book by Alfie Cohn but was swayed by some of the negative reviews on Amazon.
I was also interested in Raising Cain. Has anyone read this book?
So does anyone have some ideas- the book list sticky isn't very detailed and I want some thing practical and maybe a little philosphical but down to earth, does that make sense?
Sorry for the long post :o

[calynde]

I wholeheartedly recommend:

1) How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

2) Kids Are Worth It! Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline
by Barbara Coloroso

3) Playful Parenting
by Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D.
(There is a thread about this style of parenting on this forum somewhere...I think under "The Childhood Years".)

Good luck!

[MissRubyandKen]

Sorry I haven't read any of the books you mentioned, so I can't comment on them. :)
Anyway, though this forum often helps a lot I'm looking for some books to help me out, give me some inspiration.
My kids are 4 and 6, so I am trying to think of something good for a 2 yr. old. :) What about-
Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Laura Davis & Janis Keyser- the discipline part of this book was good to me and it is specific for younger kiddos if I'm remembering correctly.
Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka- just what it sounds like, is about power struggles.

So does anyone have some ideas- the book list sticky isn't very detailed and I want some thing practical and maybe a little philosphical but down to earth, does that make sense?
Loving Your Child is Not Enough Positive Discipline That Works by Nancy Samalin- philosophical and practical and well just a great read!

Anyway, though this forum often helps a lot I'm looking for some books to help me out, give me some inspiration. I just need ideas on how I can deal with my own temper, my own reactions to yell and sometimes freak out and cry.
Nonviolent Communication A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.-GREAT BOOK, shows how to validate, name, and share your feelings, needs, wants without the other person feeling attacked. Still reading this one and have a thought I'll be re-reading it too :thumb

[DevaMajka]

Becoming the parent you want to be, by Laura Davis- deals with kids up to 5yo. I don't know if it deals with parental frustration much, but it really gets into the WHY's of toddler behavior. It does help with frustration, imo, to know that what kids are doing is natural, and not an attempt to make your life more difficult :lol It gives good ways to deal with kids- give information, redirect to a similar activity while honoring the original impulse (iow, if dc is hitting the window with a block, you may give him a paper towel to wipe the window with, or you may tell him what to do with the block, or you may give him something he can hit with the block- redirecting is related to the original action), and tons of other ways of relating. The sleeping section sucks, but the discipline section is well worth getting the book (your library may have it too).

Loving your child is not enough by nancy samalin - very similar to how to talk so your kids will listen, and Parent Effectiveness Training. I think it has a chapter on dealing with parental frustration. It's aimed at verbal kids, but I still got a lot out of it, with my 18 mos old. I liked all 3 books, but loving your child was my fave.

The continuum concept- a big turning point in how I viewed kids, and how I thought I had to deal with them. Its a huge influence on how I raise ds. Honestly, it was a huge relief :)

Unconditional parenting- I loved it. it was towards the end of my "parenting book reading marathon" (after probably 30 books, some awful, some great). I did get a lot out of it.

hmmm...I'm thinking there was one more I loved, but I can't think of it right now. If I remember, I'll come back.

[plantmama]

Thanks everyone!
I've read You are your child's first Teacher by Rahima Baldwin Dancy and she talks about how children do things because they are trying to figure things out and other developmentally appropriate behaviour. Such as a young child may drop something from their chair because they want to see what will happen. This whole concept was really good for me to learn early on...and so I think reading some books talking about developmentally appropriate behaviour would be good for me -thanks for the suggestions.
I think I need to read the nonviolent communication book for my relationship with my husband :lol I yell at him A LOT! I guess I'm a yeller :blush but trying to change.
Better check out the library, supposedly our branch has a great selection of parenting books.