Did nightweaning your toddler solve anything for anyone?

[Artmama]

I have a co-sleeping, nursing 23 month old who still wakes anywhere from 3 to 7 times a night. I am really confused about nightweaning and sleep. I have been really hesitant to try it, as it is usually a sure fire way to put her back to sleep, but on the other hand, if she will stop waking up so much, and doesnt really need to nurse (she often nurses for less than 5 minutes and then goes back to sleep.) I might be open to doing it. Very very slowly and gently of course. But only if it will really result in less night waking!

So, did it make a difference for your toddler? Did they sleep for longer stretches, or did you just have to do other things to put them back to sleep? I do not want to be up rocking and patting and singing Frosty the Snowman all night! Also, is night weaning considered a non-AP thing to do?

[TiredX2]

We nightweaned DD for 4-5 hours a night at 25 months. She was ready and I definatley needed to have that one space.

It worked well. IMO, if they are truly ready, it should only take a few minutes of crying for a few nights and you will be getting more sleep. If it takes more, or they cry longer OR they keep waking up I would revert to the old pattern.

That said, I am allowing DS to nightwean himself and it is a GREAT feeling knowing he is doing it himself. Also, a lot of people report that their kids started sleeping better just after 24 months, so you might want to just hold off a month or two and see what happens.

Good luck :hug

[christophersmom]

I night weaned DS around 18 months. I needed it for my sanity. He was waking every hour or so and I just wasn't getting sleep. For me a tired, cranky mama did not equal a good mama. We did it gently and with lots of snuggles and talking and snuggles. I did not make him cry, just explained that they were asleep. It was nice and within a week or so we were both sleeping so nicely. We still co-sleep and he sleeps (as long as he is next to a warm body) 10-12 hours a night.

[Erin+babyAndrew]

we gently nightweaned ds around 20 months old. he started sleeping through the night almost instantly. even if he does wake up, he just touches my head/neck/shoulder, says "mum" and goes right back to sleep. it's so nice to be able to sleep in the night. I will likely nightwean the new baby around a year old, depending how he sleeps.

[because]

We nightweaned DD at 18 months. She's 36 months now and still doesn't sleep through the night most nights. The only difference is that DH can sometimes soothe her now instead.

FWIW, we cosleep, the nightweaning was very gentle, and DD still nurses.

[kchoffmann]

We nightweaned DS when he was 18 months and then again at 20 months because he had gotten a cold in there and I nursed him through it, leading to him waking for nursies once again even after he got better. The second time, though, it stuck.

I agree with the PP who said if DC is ready it will not be a horrendous process. You should expect some crying, I would think, but not so much as to make you feel awful. Follow your instincts about it. DH took over for a few nights and held him, patted him, sang to him, until he fell back asleep. It only took two nights before he stopped waking.

I also agree that if you have a kid who is just not a great sleeper, DC will still wake sometimes at night. In general, DS sleeps through the night about 10 hours, sometimes (rarely) more. But approximately twice or three times a month he still wakes up with developmental changes, physical changes (he just switched to a "big boy" bed), or nightmares. Or god knows what. The difference is, he'll go back to sleep in ways other than nursing (which is especially good since he weaned himself near the end of this pregnancy).

Still, nightweaning made a huge difference in that it became the norm for him to sleep through the whole night.

As for the AP question, I got pretty slammed here a while back when I shared my nightweaning story (later I learned the person who slammed me had two babies who both slept through the night starting around 4 weeks old! As they say, until you've walked in someone else's shoes...) It will depend who you talk to here. Some believe AP means nursing on demand at all times until they stop asking for it. Others believe it is okay to gently encourage your child to nurse less when it seems s/he is ready. You really have to get a sense of how YOU feel about it. Personally, I believe AP is really just following your natural instincts.

[mamameg]

We nightweaned around 18 mo and DD started sleeping through the night. It was really easy for us - DH handled all of her wakings and after 4 nights (no tears, no distress from DD) she was sleeping soooooo much better. But I think she was really ready for it and needed it. She was just so, so tired from all the waking and needed to get better sleep. It might not work so easily for everyone, but I think it's worth a shot if you are feeling like you or your child needs more sleep. If she resists, maybe try again in a month or so? Sometimes, timing is everything and a few weeks can make a difference.

[tinuviel_k]

Yep, nightweaning worked for us.

We nightweaned at 15 months when Denali was well established on solids. It was absolutely necessary for me. Denali would only sleep in an eight hour block of time, but she'd wake up 4-5 times in that eight hours. I ran on 5 hours of sleep a night maximum for 15 months, and then I knew something had to give: my mental health or my daughter's night feeding.
We took two weeks to gradually cut back night nursing. Denali was a bit fussy at first (mainly mad) but quickly settled down with lots of rubs and singing.
Within two weeks she was sleeping through the night, and has ever since.

[boongirl]

I night weaned my dd around 27-28 mos. She was already using a pacifier. (It helped her colic and later helped me to disengage her from my breast once she was asleep.) At around 27-28 mos, I started noticing that she would respond to my talking to her about going back to sleep. So, I started to nurse her in bed next to me and then talk to her about going back to sleep. Pretty soon, the pacifiers were not needed at all. Then, I started talking to her about how mommy and daddy wake up at night sometimes but we just go back to sleep. We don't need to eat in the middle of the night. Could she try it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Eventually, it was always yes and that led to her just putting herself back to sleep and then waking up less and less and now sleeping 12 hours a night. If I had tried before she was able to talk about, I know I would have been one of those mamas up many times a night trying to shush and rock and soothe my toddler back to sleep. I have two good friends with same age children and this pretty much worked for them as well at this age.

Also, is night weaning considered a non-AP thing to do? You will get different answers to this depending on who you ask. This is why there are two sections in the breastfeeding forum, one for child led weaning and one for extended breastfeeding (I assume the latter is where mommy led weaning is acceptable). Given the fact that there are many attached moms and dads with children who, for whatever reason, had to bottle feed their kids, then night weaning is not a non-AP thing to do. If you want to take it literally, then look at the Attachment Parenting International website where they talk about weaning as a mutual process determined by the readiness of the baby and mother.

[jadzia's_mommy]

We recently night weaned. I'm pregnant with my second, and DD was down to nursing only 1 or 2 times a night...but she'd wake up for that first nursing around 2 or 3 a.m., and then wouldn't go back to sleep for around 2 hours. DH gets in from work at 2:30 a.m. and then has to get up with her when she wakes up for the day around 6:30 or 7. He has some health problems, and this was killing him. It was killing me being pregnant and having to get up at 5 a.m. for work after being up with her sometimes from 2 or 3 on. So, we decided to cut those last couple nursing sessions out. She wasn't falling asleep nursing anymore anyway (and hadn't been for a few months), so that wasn't a big issue. Pretty much immediately, she stopped having that 2 hour wake up every night. It really made a big difference in her sleep.

I don't necessarily think it is not AP to night wean, if they are past a certain age. I think you need to consider what works for the rest of the family sometimes. In our case, the sleep problem we were having was considerable, and she seemed ready to night wean, in that she never fell asleep nursing and her night nursing sessions were already infrequent. I think everyone has to make an individual evaluation for their family.

[johub]

My twins are 28 months and we just nightweaned last week.
They woke up one or two nights and needed non-nursing resettling, and then stopped waking.
When ds2 got croup and woke when sick, we didnt have to spend weeks getting over it and settled down again. (they had voluntarily slept through the night for periods, that ended during an illness or bout of teething, and they kept waking even after they were feeling better)
I am really happy that I decided to nightwean. I had expected them to protest or it to be hard. But they were pretty accepting of hearing that "nursies are sleeping". If I had known they would take it so well I might have tried it sooner.
Joline
p.s. How can nightweanign be considered not AP? Who ELSE is nursing their toddlers?

[royaloakmi]

I'll let you know if it helps . . .

We are currently nightweaning our 27 month old twins for the second time. (DD did fine when we tried at 23 months, but DS was clearly NOT ready. So I waited a little while and here we go again . . . )

So far so good this time. I haven't seen that much better sleep so far (only 4 nights though). Except that they have slept a 3 to 4 hour block when they first go down in the evening. Ususally I was having to run back up there every 30 minutes till I got into bed.

The fact that they can go back to sleep without the boob (and very little to no fussing) is practically a miracle in our house. However, I still let them nurse at 5 am till we get out of bed, b/c otherwise I would have to get out of bed with ds every morning and dd really needs to sleep later. It's still easier to offer the breast and try to be horizontal longer.

I agree with johub . . . it's more AP to still be nursing a toddler at all . . . when you haven't had more than 3 consectutive hours of sleep in two years and you wake up one morning and can't move your head in any direction b/c two 10 lb. heads have been resting on your chest all night, something's gotta give, 'ya know?

[PancakeGoddess]

With our first two we did it at 2 and 2.5, and they went straight to sleeping through. With this one, we started at 18 mos (bc of pregnancy-related stuff) and it's been a much longer process - he still wakes but doesn't need to nurse. He has slept through many times, but it's unpredictable. I'm hoping after he turns two, in a few weeks, he'll hit that developmental spot and figure out how to sleep more deeply.

[TanyaS]

In one word...nope. We nightweaned shortly after ds turned 2. I decided to try it and if he didn't respond, just keep nursing at night. We discussed nursing only when the sun was out. The first few nights, he went right back to sleep. We had one night where he tried to fuss more to get to nurse, but I reminded him the sun was not out and he laid right back down. If he had ever reacted in a way that showed he was not ready, I'd have not pursued this. But he readily accepted it and this was how I got pregnant with dd because the night nursing was holding back ovulation (I had been having anovulatory cycles for about a year). I was also sensitive to when he was sick and allowed him to nurse at night if he asked when he was sick, which wasn't often.

He is now 4 1/2. He weaned completely at 37 months while I was pregnant. He told me he didn't want nursies anymore and they were for baby Kaleigh. He still wakes at night on occasion. Not every night, but he still needs mom or dad to help him go back to sleep. He is in his own bed now, but I always warn people who are considering weaning at night just to get more sleep that it doesn't always work that way.

[canadiyank]

I nightweaned dd1 at 22 mos. She didn't sleep through the night (still wakes often, at age 4) but it helped me. I was still suffering greatly with PPD at that time and the nightwaking/nursing was really affecting me (getting unreasonably angry at her, etc). I am glad I nightweaned; it was either that or wean completely - we nursed for another year after that, so it saved our nursing relationship. Dd2 wakes much more often and is nowhere near ready to nightwean, she still needs me all night, and I feel pretty good about it, there are overwhelming time, too, of course.