Is it just me.....?

[Earthy~Mama]

I am just wondering if I am the lone toilet paper checker due in October? I have had 5 miscarriages in the past and I am terrified of having another one. I am constantly analyzing the TP. I know that may be a bit too much info but it's the truth. Is anyone a TP checker? Or am I just nuts? :nut

~Shannon

[stayathomecristi]

Count me in! I've had two losses and really don't want a third. I'm taking my progesterone and drinking my water, but I don't think I will be able to relax until I have a babe in my arms.

BTW--I only buy white toilet paper--much easier to see if there's anything amiss.

[littleteapot]

Me too.
Four miscarraiges and then my son died just shortly after birth three months ago. I had some very light spotting with strange cramps two days ago, and kept a close eye on it - but it's just about as light as it could possibly be (IE. 1/8th a teaspoon in 24 hours, probably less. Doesn't even make it to my panties).

[stayathomecristi]

Sending sticky thoughts to you too teapot. You've already been through so much. I'm sorry to hear about your losses and I hope everything works out for you this time.

[APMomof3]

I too keep checking the TP. You are not alone!

[crazyknitter]

I do this all day, especially with the increased vaginal discharge, yuck!
I had first tri spotting with my first, so kinda makes you :nut

[amyro]

So sorry for you losses for those of you who have experienced this.

I haven't had a m/c but am a midwife and well aware of the statisitcal possibility. And I'm definitely a TP checker! I think the thing I hate most about first trimester is the not knowing whether the kid will stick around or not. That said, I had a relatively symptom-free first tri last time and so far so good this time, and I guess you have to hate SOMETHING about first trimester. ;)

Actually, I wish I could just learn to LOVE being only a little bit pregnant. The wonder of a tiny little being floating and bumping around, burrowing and changing by the minute. The secret that the rest of the world isn't in on yet, the knowledge that you still have many months to prepare physically and emotionally for the amazing changes and challenges ahead, etc.

Anyway, sticky vibes to you all!

[theboysmama]

I am so glad i am not alone! I had a m/c in sept. and i check every time i wipe.

[littleteapot]

More vibes for all of you.

:sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky

[Earthy~Mama]

I'm glad I am not alone yet sad that there are others that have experienced such loss. I hope to read all of your birth stories come October.Mine included!

Stay put babies!!!!

[~Shanna~]

Count me in too :( We lost our baby in December at 6 weeks, and I've been a pathogical tp checker ever since we found out we were pg again. I have this fear that I won't take an easy breath until I hear her cry. It's going to be a long 9 months...... Surely this will abate some? Maybe in the 2nd trimester? Passing the point of the last MC only helped slightly.
Every little pain sends me scurrying to the MW too.....I don't like the person I become, being this paranoid, and yet I feel powerless against the fear.

There's been so much loss on this thread - I wish all of us a healthy and PEACEFUL 9 months :heartbeat

[merpk]

:eyes

Yeah, me2.

Have actually gone out and bought another box of HPT and did two more of them. Am not having too many "symptoms," so am a little nervous. Slight queasiness in the a.m., but ... my past successful pregnancies I was pretty darn sick the first trimester, and always in the evenings. Not this time, so ... just being neurotic, I guess.

Nice to know I've got company.

:eyes

[stayathomecristi]

Count me in too :( We lost our baby in December at 6 weeks, and I've been a pathogical tp checker ever since we found out we were pg again. I have this fear that I won't take an easy breath until I hear her cry. It's going to be a long 9 months...... Surely this will abate some? Maybe in the 2nd trimester? Passing the point of the last MC only helped slightly.
Every little pain sends me scurrying to the MW too.....I don't like the person I become, being this paranoid, and yet I feel powerless against the fear.

There's been so much loss on this thread - I wish all of us a healthy and PEACEFUL 9 months :heartbeat

Shanna-Everyone is different and I really hope that you can relax at some point in this pregnancy. My experience was that I was in denial most of the pregnancy for my dd and didn't get attached to her until she was safe in my arms. We've definitely made up for lost time since she was born, but I remained paranoid the entire pregnancy.

This time around is different for me because I've been able to let go of some of the paranoia (not easy). I'm doing all that I can to give this baby the best chance by eating right, taking my progesterone, trying to rest (yeah, right), drinking my water, etc. I'm trying to convince myself that worrying isn't going to help, that I'm doing all I can and that's all I can do. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't have those thoughts come in, but I'm trying to manage it matter-of-factly. On the other hand, I haven't allowed myself to get attached yet either. I hate not having control over the situation!

Anyway, I'm in total agreement with you that all of us should have a healthy and PEACEFUL pregnancy. May we all have sticky uteruses and healthy, happy little beans in October!

[stayathomecristi]

More vibes for all of you.

:sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky :sticky


Bears repeating!!!!!!

[Attached2Elijah]

I haven't had a MC and I'm so sorry for all of you that have.... but after trying for almost 2 years, I still can't believe it's true and fear something is going to go wrong... so yes, I'm also obsessively checking.

[3_angels]

Hi Ladies-
I know how you feel. I'm 11w 1d (lurking over here from August ddc) and I've had 3 m/c. I STILL check t.p. after having a positive ultrasound with a very healthy heartbeat of 170 bpm.
Also, I have had several occasions where I felt like I was getting my period, or weird twingy cramps, or whatever but so far I haven't m/ced and everything's progressing well.

[Hazel]

We've been trying for 7 years and were quite shocked when we saw the positive test! I had two miscarriages about 7 years and 6 years ago. then nothing til now. I check every time I go to the bathroom and if I feel "extra wet" (sorry TMI). I am now in my 7th week and I am sick all day long, thankfully (well its a mixed blessing ;) ). But I will probably continue to check for a long time to come. We have wanted this baby for so many years, our hearts just ached for it and now we're pregnant and I am so afraid it wont stay. Especially with me being so sick and having such a hard time eating "right" and drinking enough. I am trying, trust me, but being so sick....its really hard.

[soccermominsd]

This is an awesome place. Shannon YOU ARE NOT ALONE :lol

I join the ranks of those who constantly look at the TP and the undies/panti-liner when going to the potti.

We had a very emotional and physical ordeal when we lost our pregnancies so I give myself permission to check to make sure all is well.

[Michele in Italy]

(I'm over from the September group.)
I, too, am obsessive about TP checking. It took us 2 years and IVF to get me pregnant (with our first) and obviously I am scared to death of anything going wrong. I want to be able to enjoy being pregnant, but I don't want to jinx myself. I've had slight spotting and cramping, and I often don't sleep at night because these fears and things keep me awake. I'm trying to be positive, but this part (the first trimester) is indeed the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, harder than IVF treatments!!

Just remember ladies, when you close that bathroom door and feel like a freak for obsessively checking the TP, relax, as we are all in there with you, keeping our fingers crossed.

[amyro]

It makes me a little sad that we're all spending our first trimesters so freaked out! I wonder if there is anything we can all do to collectively take a deep breath and just be in the moment with our pregnancies, without paralyzing fear of what may be or might happen. We ARE pregnant NOW. And we're good mamas to these little beings inside of us. We have so much to be proud of! I think pregnancy is full of lessons for motherhood - staying attached and connected while letting go of what we can't control, being patient, having faith in the universe or whatever higher power we believe in, making healthy choices and responsible decisions, etc.

I am as much of a TP checker as all of you (see my post above) but just wanted to switch the energy in this thread a little!

More sticky (and peaceful!) thoughts...

[stayathomecristi]

Hi Ladies-
I know how you feel. I'm 11w 1d (lurking over here from August ddc) and I've had 3 m/c. I STILL check t.p. after having a positive ultrasound with a very healthy heartbeat of 170 bpm.
Also, I have had several occasions where I felt like I was getting my period, or weird twingy cramps, or whatever but so far I haven't m/ced and everything's progressing well.


I'm having those weird twingy cramps today and feel a little nervous. I agree that changing the tone of the thread and of my thoughts would be a good idea, but it's near impossible when I'm feeling crampy and wondering if we're going to make it. Sigh. I keep trying to remind myself that there's nothing I can do if I am going to m/c, but I don't want it to happen again.

Sorry to be so negative.

[soccermominsd]

Hi Cristine-I'm so sorry you're feeling those twinges. If you can't say it here where can you say it? That's why we are here for eachother.

Thoughts & prayers to you & baby for those darn twinges to go away and a peacefulness beyond your understanding to overwhelm you. :innocent

[stayathomecristi]

Thanks soccermom! Any and all prayers are appreciated. So far today (Friday) I'm doing o.k.. Still don't feel preg. yet so that's concerning. Usually I'm violently throwing up by now. Complain, complain, complainan--LOL.

If I was throwing up I'd be complaining about that. You can't win with me, can you?

[deliarose]

I think it is normal! I too check and I have never had any issues. I am way more aware of my body this pregnancy and had some spotting one day-found out that was the egg implanting. I thought I had my period, but nothing happened after that. I am noticing slight discomfort- little tiny cramps now and then, but assume it is normal-sort of like morning sickness? I read that it can be normal for some women- also what is up with the more frequent urination. That bean is not big enough to press on my bladder, but I am in the bathroom way more than my first pregnancy- of course I was teaching and could only go at certain times then...hmmm....Here I ramble!