are my in-laws insane?

[lovebug]

they are letting my 16 almost 17 year old SIL go to idaho to meet a guy she met online:irked:

no i kinda dont have a leg to stand on. i met DH 4 years ago online when he was in Iraq the 1st time. but dh and i DO NOT support this! i was 19 when i first met DH IRL. and 20 when i moved to CO to live. the diff i had a great job and lived on my own. i flew out and payed for my own ticket.

am i out of place wheni say " are they insane"?

[TechnoGranola]

I'd be VERY worried for her safety. If they are supportive of them meeting, they should have the boy come to their city for a visit and stay in a close by hotel. It would likely be a good idea for them to at least chat with his parents before the visit as well.

[lovebug]

I'd be VERY worried for her safety. If they are supportive of them meeting, they should have the boy come to their city for a visit and stay in a close by hotel.
this is what i say:love

[Blue Dragonfly]

That is totally insane!! (Good advice TechnoGranola).

My brother had a friend (age 21) go to NY to meet a girl. His parents went along, and good thing! It turned out she was 15 or 16 (illegal anyway) which he found out about before they did the nasty (but not before they made out!). Luckily all the parents were there to help get the situation sorted out. A good learning lesson for him.

But when I think of all the terrible things that can happen to a 16 year old. (well to anybody really) Yikes!

I hope you can make them see the light.

[lovebug]

i dont think there light is on!!!!!! or the fuze i loose! one of the 2

[iamthesmilingone]

:dropjaw

For this day and age- yep, I'd say they are crazy.

[Red]

Oh, and then they'll be surprised when she does something stupid, marries a guy she hardly knows or meets a scary guy.

I have three dd's in that age range. I'm just sick!

[lovebug]

:dropjaw

For this day and age- yep, I'd say they are crazy.

thank you:lol

and red im just sick too!

[kkiolbassa]

I'd be VERY worried for her safety. If they are supportive of them meeting, they should have the boy come to their city for a visit and stay in a close by hotel. It would likely be a good idea for them to at least chat with his parents before the visit as well.

This makes much more sense. And yes, I think your in laws are nuts. I have a 17 yo and I can't imagine letting him go off to meet someone he met on line. Yikes.

[lovebug]

this makes me feel so much better! im glad that im not crazy! and that my feelings are ok!

[TechnoGranola]

I just realized where I got my idea of staying in a close by hotel from! When I was 16 I went on vacation with my best friend and her parents. I met a nice guy there and got his address and we started writing letters and talking on the phone. We wanted to visit each other so my parents took me to the city he lived in and stayed in a hotel with me. They had the boy come over the first afternoon we were there to visit with the entire family. When we went out for the evening my dad found out where we were going, got a phone # for the place (late 80's ago so nobody had cell phones) and also wrote down the license plate # of the guy's car. Then the next day he came to our hotel to visit again.

The next time we visited he came to our city and stayed at our house. Eventually it got to the point where I went and visited on my own when I was 19. I haven't talked to him in the last couple of years but we've been friends for about 18 years now.

I'd do the same thing for my DD that my parents did for me if there was a boy she met online (or on vacation or whatever). I wasn't bothered by it when I was a teenager, I was glad my parents payed for the trip to go visit him. :)

[Ruthla]

I agree- the parents are being very, very careless here!

[bobica]

how irresponsible of them! very sad for your SIL- i hope she stays safe!

[caffeine_kittie]

cant believe it!
she's suppose to be one of the guardians but look what she's doing?
insane i should say.
sorry to say but that's the truth.
who on her right mind would do such things? duh!

[lovebug]

well mama she went and is having a great time. but, i still think it should have never happened! i agree with ALL of you. this makes me feel so much better. now i know that IM not insane!

[momto l&a]

What part of Idaho?

[a-sorta-fairytale]

When i was 14 i met a guy in california on my school choir trip. He was older. We talked on the phone and wrote letters for a few years - he came to visit me when i was 16. He stayed in a hotel and my parents let us hang out as if he was a guy who lived there. They would NEVER have let me go visit some strange guy. When i was 18 and had graduated i went to visit him.

[TechnoGranola]

well mama she went and is having a great time. but, i still think it should have never happened! i agree with ALL of you. this makes me feel so much better. now i know that IM not insane!She's currently on the trip? Yikes, I'll feel much better when she is home safe and sound!

[Ruthla]

OK, she might luck out, but it's still a stupid risk to take in the first place! I hope she comes home safely soon!

[lovebug]

OK, she might luck out, but it's still a stupid risk to take in the first place! I hope she comes home safely soon!

i know me about it ; )

i just hate having this stuff out of my hands!

[bricorssk]

This is so different then just meeting some boy in person and wanting to see him again! At least you know he isn't some 50 yo perv that is acting like a 18yo on a website like myspace. Very scary

[2happymamas]

Please tell me they are at least going with her!

[lovebug]

nope! she is there now and no they did NOT go with her :irked:

[lovebug]

i know this tread is kind of over. but, i just wanted to say she is going back to idaho in may. she will be there for 4mths.

i think my inlaws are trying to get rid of her :shrug:

[a-sorta-fairytale]

THis reminds me of 2 scenarios.
1 - my inlaws are obsessed with this guy my sil is engaged to. She is 30 and they have been helping her financially all her life (school etc)
They have tried really hard to get this guy a good job, they are super nice to him etc. He is a bit rude and not much of a "find" But they are pushing this relationship. They even offered to take them on a cruise if they would get married. So i think they are trying to get her off thier hands.

2 - an girl i used to be friends with had parents kinda like this. When she was "grounded" as a teen they would still let her go on dates but not out with her female friends. They would make hurtful comments like "if you keep hanging out with HER you will never get a man - she is cuter than you" They encouraged her to get married the first time - to a guy she had only been with for a few months. Needless to say the marriage was annulled a few weeks later. Her second mariage (only a year now) she married the guy her parents liked - now she hates him, they have a child together (that she browbeat him for) and now she is mad becase she is forever linked to him. They will either miserably stay together for the kid - or they will split up.

It is so sad.

So i assume she is home and safe for now?