Honoring our lost baby

[Eman'smom]

I have been wanting to do something (get something) to honor our lost little baby. I thought wanted something that I could keep / wear with me all the time. I decided on a ring, it's a basic titanium band with a inlay of gold and silver ( I read somewhere that the three mean luck, love and life). I wanted something simple that wouldn't draw much attention but I'd know what it meant. I had it ingraved with "our angel baby m 11/19/02-12/11/02" We had named "her" M and the dates are conception to loss, anyway I got the ring over a week ago and I can't wear it. I just can't bear to put it on, it's so painful.
I feel like this was going to be my way of honoring her short life and if I do something else it will take away the specialness of it, however I also don't want the only thing we choose to honor her with to sit in a box in a draw. We rent right now, dh and I both agree on planting a tree or garden when we buy a house. But will that be the same thing, will I ever be able to look at the tree, how will I go in the back yard, I can hardly even look at the ring.

[karenpl]

{{{{ HUGS }}}}
The ring sounds like a beautiful way of honoring your lost baby. I hope over time, you will be able to carry it with you. And even if you don't, I am sure your baby knows that you do love, remember and honor her!!

Karen

[Jacque Savageau]

Eman'smom, The ring touched me deeply. Put it in a special place and when your ready, you'll go get it.

I have a bracelet with 4 butterflies and 1 Fairy to symbolize my miscarried babies. I used butterflies to symbolize the early miscarriages. They were beautiful and delicate and entered my life gently. It reminds me of the beauty and fraility of human life. The Fairy represents my dd's miscarried twin. I feel this baby is a party of dd and her creative and imaginative personality. For my stillborn baby I have ballet slippers. Dh and I used to call her 'our little dancer' because of the delicate dance she used to do inside of me. I wear this bracelet when I need to feel their presence in my life.

Eman'smom - be gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to feel and do what feels right to you. Things will fall into place in time.

Gently,

jacque

[its_our_family]

I think the ring idea is beautiful! I'm sure that pone day you will be able to put it on...and if not you can still keep it in a special place. Actually, i was wanting to do the same thing...... something I did that was a little easier was a I made a page for Tracy's memory book. I took pics of the sweatshirt I made for him ("Future Big Brother" "Summer 2003") and put it along with a letter to her. We named her Sweetpea. I think the page was a little easier to do. I cried the entire time but for me t was a wonderful time of healing and even remembering the babe that I didn't know.

[XM]

Hold on to the ring... it may be a while but there will come a time when you will want to wear it. I have a locket with 4 pictures of Xiola and a lock of her hair. It took me quite some time before I was ready to wear it... but I am so glad I have it and have been wearing it quite a bit lately, which I just did not feel ready to do even a few months ago.

XM

[Lucky Charm]

I have a very pretty, delicate bracelet that i wear for my first miscarriage. i no longer get upset when i realize its on (its been 15 yrs). i have never taken it off, and because its so low key, most people dont mention the bracelet.

However, my second miscarriage was even more devastating than the first, and my dh got me a ring....with a 3 carat diamond, set in gold with a baggette on each side of the large stone. this is my problem...i dont wear it because of the insensitivity of some people. when they notice the ring, (i have small hands), most folks say "what did you have to do to get that??". you can imagine how i felt. i wish sometimes he would have gotten me something more simple.

i really like the idea of a ring though, and in time you will wear it, and no longer get so upset. give yourself time to grieve and come to grips with what has happened. maybe you can even wear it on a simple chain....you honor her, but your not "staring" at it (unless you wear it on a 24in chain).

[Clarity]

I do have a ring...a domed amethyst in a bezel setting with tiny moonstones on either side for all my lost babes. I also got Jizos from www.jizo.org, which are used in Japanese Buddhism to remember babies.

[momto l&a]

My dh gave me a little slipper to wear on a necklace but like you I cant look or wear it without crying. Dh feels so bad for giving me something that only makes me cry and I know he would like me to wear it in memory of our baby but...

Someday, I am sure I will be able to wear it but for now I do like knowing I have something in memory of the baby. Will be 2 years ago this coming July 11 that I m/c at 12 weeks.

What even makes it worse is the the mini rose he gave me for mothers day while I was preggo with that baby just died so now all I do have left is that little slipper.