Heard the heartbeat... but I am mad

[RoseRed]

Well I heard my babies heartbeat yesterday.. it was beautiful and sounded strong. The Doctor put the ultrasound wand on my belly and it automatically popped up, she didn't have to move ita round at all...

But other than that, I don't know. And I mean I really don't know. She didn't tell me what the babies heartrate was, she didn't even take the measurments to see what I am measuring at. She did a pelvic exam but I have no idea what she found down there... for all I know I am having a gorrila and she just kept her mouth shut.

The appointment started with her nurse telling me that she will want to do a Pap smear since I haven't had one in over a year I downright refused and the nurse started slamming cabinets. *sigh*

And then, the appointment ended with the doctor telling me she was pregnant too and due in august... congrats on her part thats really exciting but shouldn't she have told me that at the begining.

Well, needless to say I am upset. not only do I have preety much no information on my little one but I feel a little accosted by the reacition to the nurse about the pap smear.
Now I am looking into switching my care over... everyone keeps telling me it's not too late and I just need to find a good doc, but at 13 weeks I still worry.

How hard is it to fill me in on all the info about the appointment, she knows this is my first.. and common I am 22, I haven't studdied this for years or anything...

[MamaDance]

I would find another doctor!! If you feel you need to, keep seeing her until you find a Dr. you are OK with. If you don't feel comfortable with her now, you prob. wont feel OK with her when you are in labor!! There are some Dr.s that will tell you lots and others that will only tell you bits, find one you like! I switched Dr's at 20 some weeks, its the best thing you can do if you dont like your Dr!!

Could you look into getting a midwife?

Good Luck!

[tatgurl]

It's NEVER too late to switch and to tell you the truth, you will probably feel much better about it. With my last pg. I switched MWs at 31 wks, and found one that I loved. the last thing that you need is to have stress over your caregiver. If you are having problems this early on, what else is going to happen further down the line? Also, if she is due in Aug. she will probably not be delivering you. Who will be??
Could you possible find a MW that practices in an OB's office. They are usually covered by insurance, take much longer with their patients, and are really good at giving you all the information that you want. you also have a better chance of less intervention at your birth. just an option.
Hope this works out and you have a peacefull pregnancy.

[RoseRed]

Most of the midwives I talk to won't take me cause I carry TB which puts me at a questionable stand point.. I am going to keep talking to some when I go around and start interveiwing next week...

The sad part was that I did talk to this woman over the phone (couldn't get in face to face) and liked her.. and she didn't mention the pregnancy then either..

[Sailmom]

By all means, change your provider. If nothing else, there is a good chance she will deliver right before you and then you have to change OB's at the last minute anyway. At least she didn't wait until you were 26 weeks to let you know she was also due in August. This way you have plenty of time to get to know someone else.

Also, take charge a litte. I am a nurse, and therefore, always questioning what doctors say. But the thing I tell my friends and family is to take charge of your healthcare. Don't let them leave the room until all your questions are answered. Educate yourself as much as possible so you don't go into something blind. It is your body, your health, your baby. Know what you want and ask for it. They may have umpteen years of education and I think they must take a class on intimidation, but they put their pants on the same way you do. If you don't feel comfortable with your provider, CHANGE!

Stepping off my soapbox now. Feel free to throw tomatoes!

[Zuri'smom]

Ditto on what the others have said. I have a friend who switched providers at 33 weeks and decided to have a homebirth! Bottom line is: this is your experience and your baby. You need to have providers you trust and are comfortable with and who you feel are respectful and competant! Happy Hunting!

[chumani]

RoseRed~

I am so sorry your appointment was disappointing! There are some threads in finding your tribe Utah that list midwives and drs in the Salt Lake area. I know of a few homebirth midwives in the SLC area I will pm you their #'s. It is never too late to change care providers. I was in labor with my 2nd baby and switched midwives.

Best Wishes!!
Sarah

[JenMidwife]

RoseRed, I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said. First a big hug to you, cause there is a lot to learn when it comes to maternity care. Second, there is a huge difference in both practice & personality out there amongst docs & midwives (both midwives who practice w/ docs- aka nurse-midwives & homebirth midwives).

Many midwives (& maybe some docs) would not be doing pelvic exams at all during prenatal care & aside from the 20-ish week ultrasound (which is still optional), would not be doing routine ultrasound (rather would listen to heart beat with a doppler or fetoscope).

Instead of doing all of these things, they spend much more time talking w/ you about what's going on w/ you & w/ baby. There are prob some out there who do all of the things & also spend more time talking.

It's good that you feel mad & you know something's not right! Have a look at other providers! As a rule of thumb, midwives schedule longer for their appts so should have more time to chat (though that doesn't guarantee a great personality).

Good luck! Let us know how you go. :)

[veganf]

Don't feel bad about wanting to change providers. I won't let anyone touch me while pregnant, except to measure my belly and take my blood pressure. That nurse sounded like a bully.

- Krista

[jenmk]

It's never too late to switch providers! I'd definitely find a new one, too. You'll be happier once you do.

And good for you for sticking up for yourself and not allowing them to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.

Good luck!

[nfbmom]

You're in Utah? SLC? I know of several really great providers. There are two awesome CNM's in the area. There are at least three great homebirth midwives that are just great and I'm sure I could find you an OB, if that what you want. I have connections! LOL PM if you want some names.

[3_angels]

Rosered, I thought of changing my provider at 7w, but then I stuck it out until my 12w appt and asked a bunch of questions and she was really great. That nurse situation is ridiculous though.

Hey! I'm, 22 too! And most of the time I have no idea what's going on w/ this pg stuff, so I make a point to read up and ask a LOT of questions. If you want to know the heart rate, ask! Pregnancy is not the time to be shy, I've gathered. But we all learn as we go.
:love Good Luck!!

[rebeccalizzie]

I agree with pp's, if you aren't comfortable you need to switch. This is still plenty early enough to switch.

At the same time...my super-crunchy talks to me a lot ob and midwife team sometimes get involved in doing something and forget to tell me the results! For instance, the nurse announced my blood pressure to me, and I said "is that good?" because I honestly don't know. Later, the midwife told me the baby's heart rate was 140, and I said the same thing "is that good?" :lol I want to know not only what they are doing, but what the results mean!

I did get a pap, but it's because I am overdue for one and I actually have a hix of fairly severe cervical cancer--it spread quickly in my case. So I would rather go through the pain of the pap. But for anyone without my history, I would be refusing a pap as well. The midwife explained what all the tests were that she was doing--blood tests, a urine screen, and a swab for a bacterial infection while she was doing my pelvic. I think when I asked if the heartbeat was good, I reminded her to tell me everything else, and it helped a lot! I do think we need to ask when we are confused, and I can see after doing the same tests 15 times in a week, the midwife may forget to explain why she is doing them!

[Azreial]

My mw's don't measure until 20wks becuase they say its not very accurate until then anyway. They haven;t told me the bpm either, but tbh I have no idea what it means I just like to hear it going :lol As far as internals I had one this pg and just a pap with dd after swtiching (at 24wks) The only reason I had the pap was becuase I had an abnoral just 6mths prior :irked:
I don't know what the point of doing internals is in pg unless you have a history of preterm labor or are having ctx. What are they going to tell you "yep your parts are all still there"

Anyway as I said above I switch at 24wks with dd so its certainly not too late. I have to say that I am so glad I switched :thumb I had a wonderful birth and awesome prenatals

[Attached Mama]

I'd find a midwife - you are not very far along at all at 13 weeks - shouldn't be any problem in switching.