Got in trouble at my doc visit

[Ary99]

The dreaded scale mocked me the moment I walked in the door. I knew it was coming, the inevitable, "Your weight gain is a little healthier than I'd like to see". When I was pg with DS, I burst into tears every time I heard that, but this time, I just said, "Isn't though?" I mean can I do? I'm not eating like a pig, and when they checked my chart I weigh *exactly* to the pound what I weighed at 16 weeks with DS.

It didn't help when I went to the nail salon today and the woman doing my nails raised her eyebrows and pointed at my stomach and said in broken English, "Only 4 month?" I dealt with this last time, as I just get big, but I've decided to decline input. The next time someone tells me I'm soooooo big, I'm just going to say, "No thank you, I'm not currently accepting any feedback on my body."

I should send you guys a picture. I'm not the thinnest person in the world, but you'd think I was Godzilla based on the reactions I get from people. I'm just put off a little I guess.

[alegna]

Not in your group but had to send you a :hug That stinks. Can you dump your dr. and get a midwife instead?

-Angela

[Karah R]

:hug That does stink....my doc's never said a word about my weight gain because you gain however much or little you need to gain for a healthy bean-and it makes me upset to hear that others get told that their gain doesn't fit into their little box. Sorry!

[CatskillMtnMama]

:( So mean. My drs and nurses are so great. I put on a lot of weight last time (50 pounds) and every time whoever was weighing me just said "normal" "normal" "normal." I said to myself, god bless them. :) (and I'm a buddhist!).

Look, if you were having complications, perhaps there would be grounds. But your body knows how much it wants to gain. It will gain it whether you like it or not! So enjoy and trust your appetite.

I agree, I think it is insulting to a patient to be saying something like that without any specific medical reason. I would also consider changing practices, unless that is not feasible.

Liz

[Attached Mama]

Not in your group but had to send you a :hug That stinks. Can you dump your dr. and get a midwife instead?

-Angela

:yeah: docs can be so dumb!

[the_lissa]

That really sucks. I don't even have to weigh myself if I don't want to.

[SlingWearin'Mama]

I personally wouldn't really stand for this. I would have a conversation with the doc first mentioning the nurse's comments and that I eat a healthy diet and don't appreciate comments like this. I actually asked my last OB if I should be concerned with my 50+ LB weight gain and he looked at me like I was nuts and just said "some women gain more, your body knows how to get what it needs."

Your body does know what it needs so enjoy!

[JenMidwife]

Ary99, I'm so sorry to hear that. There's absolutely no evidence to support routinely weighing pregnant women. Sounds like you know what's best for you & your babe. BE STRONG! :hug

[Melaya]

That sucks, don't let them get to you though. Your doing your best and that's all that really matters. My midwife (not even a nurse midwife) is always hounding me on weight. If I gain to little, she accuses me of starving myself. But I know that if I gained to much, she's lecture me about eating too much sugar. My last pregnancy, I had two ob's who didn't care at all (one dr. actually told me to go on a ice cream sundae diet, if that would actually get me to keep something down). So really it's a personality thing. I just refuse to go on the scale, they can't make me and I don't find it necessary really (especially if you are checking your weight at home anyways).

[veganf]

I just don't understand why doctors do this?! As if pregnancy isn't difficult enough. My midwife doesn't even demand that I get on the scale if it will make me feel uncomfortable.

- Krista

[Ary99]

Thanks for the support.

It brings up alot of feelings for me. Creating babies has always been very difficult for my body. It has taken us ten years to have two children. When I get criticism about my weight it's like, "What? I'm still not doing it right?"

I can't really change doctors, and I don't think he's overly concerned about it, but I will talk to my doula about it to get a prospective check/

Thank you again.

Peace,
Hilary

[3_angels]

It didn't help when I went to the nail salon today and the woman doing my nails raised her eyebrows and pointed at my stomach and said in broken English, "Only 4 month?" I dealt with this last time, as I just get big, but I've decided to decline input. The next time someone tells me I'm soooooo big, I'm just going to say, "No thank you, I'm not currently accepting any feedback on my body."

Jeez! You should have said, "Yes, I'm four months along. And I'm already thinking about how to teach my baby manners. Something your mother obviously forgot to do with you!"
What is WRONG with people? Where's the sensitivity?

[peilover010202]

Oh, big :hugs. I'm so sorry they said anything at all. I, too, have always dreaded the scale. Partly, because it makes me think of the weight that I'm gaining and that I'll have to take off, but a bigger part of me knows that I'm doing my best and my body will grow at a rate to take care of this babe.

I've only once been given a hard time about weight gain (with ds) and it was the nurse who said that I needed to watch my weight (I'd gained 10lbs in one month). I was completely embarassed because she said it at the scales in front of other people. And, because that month I had been trying particularly hard to eat well (protein, veggies, omegas, etc.) It really hit a nerve for me. I asked my dr when he got to the room. And, he said :yeah, you gained 10lbs since your last appointment, baby must have had a growth spurt." Made me feel sooooo much better.

[jenmk]

Hilary:

If you think it's likely that you'll continue to get these comments from your doctor's office, then I would just tell them next time that you've decided you do not want to be weighed. If, at some point, they have concerns about your weight for medical reasons, then perhaps you will get on a scale at that point. But until that time, you'd rather not be made to feel bad about something that you have no control over since you're eating a very healthy and balanced diet.

Also, do you all know that around 6 months you experience a hefty weight jump? (Steph, perhaps that's when your 10 lb gain happened last time.) It happens to most people, and it can be a terrible shock. I had gained 9 lbs at my 6 month visit and cried when I got in the room. Up to that point I had only gained 11 lbs and in one month I doubled my weight gain! I had been warned that it was likely to happen at that time, but it was still such a shock.

And I'm a firm believer, from experience and friends' experiences, that your body is going to gain what it needs, regardless of what you eat (unless you're eating a load of junk). If you're eating relatively healthy and balanced, then you're going to gain what you're going to gain.

[eightyferrettoes]

Totally rude, totally uncalled for, and unacceptable. :Hug

[2 in August]

I have to agree with the pps. I've known people who have gained 15lbs total and others who gained 50+. As long as you are healthy and baby is healthy that's all that matters.

[LeosMama]

Goodness sakes, eat when you're hungry, drink when you're thirsty. Make it healthy and nourishing and tell the doc to buzz off. You should just refuse to do any weighings.

[veganf]

I have to agree with the pps. I've known people who have gained 15lbs total and others who gained 50+. As long as you are healthy and baby is healthy that's all that matters.

Yup. My midwife herself told me about her own weight gain during her various pregnancies... one time it was 60 pounds, one time it was 22 pounds. According to her she did nothing different each time, but her body gained differently regardless.

- Krista

[lovencloth]

I am so sorry Mama, I know those docs are out there. The first OB that I went to when ttc the first time. I was going in to see him to find out about infertility and my options. He told me (without any tests or anything) that I was too fat and that was why I was not pregnant. Not, are you watching for eggwhite, making love on the right days, have you watched your cycle close enough, nope just too fat. I never went back to that doc. I have one now who helps me to watch my preg. weight, and she will tell me if she is worried, but never makes me feel bad about it and commends me for bfing afterward, knowing that if I do gain over my recommended amt. at least it is more likely that I will return to pre preg weight than someone who does not. I am really lucky though to have a doc that really supports more natural birth.