Would you save your Dh or your child?

[its_our_family]

If you were put in a situation where you could only save your Dh or your child who would you save? Why?

(I'll post my opinion later)

[mamawanabe]

This is such an easy one for me (save the kid). And I would never forgive DH if he saved me instead of my baby.

Now the choice bewteen a sibling or a best friend. Now that is a tough one . . .

[ekblad9]

What she said!

[mamalisa]

My dh is a grown man capable of thaking care of himself. My child is small and helpless and depends on me for everything. I wouldn't even stop to think about which one to save, my child of course.

[Trishy]

Definately the child. I know dh would do the same, I don't even have to ask him.

[DiaperDiva]

During our premarital counseling, DH's uncle(who married us) said if we were in a burning building to save each other because we could always have more kids. :angry :jaw :eek

He can screw himself too :D I voted save child. I can always get another husband :wink

[LoveBeads]

This is an absolute no brainer. I would save my child, DH would expect me to save our child, and he would absolutely do the same if given the same choice.

LoveBeads
Maddy Moo - 2.5

[frogertgrl]

'Die trying to save the second'

Second what? Second child?

If I die saving the child, is that the second option or ???

I voted 'other' since I wasn't sure that I fit that third option since I only have one child.

[CK'sMama]

No question about it, my child. Even if he were grown and capable of saving himself, I would still try to save him.

[CK'sMama]

Originally posted by frogertgrl
'Die trying to save the second'

Second what? Second child?

If I die saving the child, is that the second option or ???




Die trying to save the person you didn’t save first, I think… Did that make sense :D

[lilyka]

Save the child - Dh has great life insurance and we hardly ever see him anyway. ;)

[Bladestar5]

Definitely the child, but if I could save them both, I would try, because I would be awful lonely without dh, since he does do the laundry and some cooking, and he changes dipes...

[LavenderMae]

I voted child. I love my husband so dearly and for so many reasons and it would be heartbreaking (to say the least) to have to live w/o him. However, as a mother I have to protect my child/ren. I don't feel my husband is dispensable but to live w/o out one of my children is unimaginable. Plus if I did safe my dh and not our child he would hate me. These kind of questions really make me sad to think about.

[lucina3]

Definitely I would save my children. My children are completely dependant on me and I have a responsibility to them.

DiaperDiva, the counselling we did (via videos/workbooks) said something similar. I'm glad it wasn't the minister (my dad!) who said it because he would have heard realllllllllllly bad words when I voiced my opinon on that one! ;)

[its_our_family]

I vote child and possibly die trying to save dh...depending on the situation.

I know it isn't a fun question and this may sound silly but with all the talk of war and such I've been thinking a lot about it. We just moved to an area that they say would be one the first attacked if it were going to happen. i'm not living in fear just wondering what my own reaction would be.

[~Kindred Spirit~]

Most mothers will pick to save their child...and most men will pick to save their wives.

I read a very interesting article on this very topic. They explained it as nature's way of keeping the family *together*. The husband protects the wife, which basically means the whole family, because the mother protects the children, kwim?

Ugh, maybe if I dig I can find the article again....ANYWAYS...I would protect my children:)

[saturnine25]

My child, without hesitation. DH and I have actually discussed this and he would also save our child first.

Amy, mom to Tsuneo Phri, 09/12/01

[Mamato3boys]

I voted my child.

[glh]

Child, children no question. We even talked about it once and we both agreed we would save our children. I think I voted wrong though, I thought the die trying to save children meant you would save your child no matter what, while just saving child option meant you yourself were not in danger of dying. I think I way over thought the question. I should have just voted child.

[Irishmommy]

Child of course. Dh and I were actually talking about this last night, and we both agree we would eventually "get over" being widowed, but neither of us would ever recover from losing our kid.

I'm flying overseas in August with the two kids, and I think that if something were to happen, at least I'm with them too.

[candiland]

Child. DH wouldn't want to live if I chose him over her, anyway.

[levar]

My son.

Actually I would save any child. My husband and I have discussed this one a few times. There is this AWFUL commercial where a young child basically asks the audience if they'd save him from a speeding train wreck. Really freaked me out. I said YES without reservation. I decided that the only things that would stop me from risking [or trading] my life for a child would be risking or trading my own son [I wouldnt do that] or risking or trading both mine and my husband's life.

My husband agreed. As long as our son and one of us survived, we'd save children no doubt and other people most likely. Interesting that the thought was that men feel differently. My husband had a really really hard time with the *concept* of my dying. But did feel if it came to it our son needed *A* parent more than we needed a spouse. Interesting that we did take it to the next level of "If you knew your son and spouse were safe..." would you risk your life saving others. He actually had an easier time of it with this one conceptually and said "No Doubt, Yes"

[JuneMama]

I would definitely save my child. :)

[WickidaWitch]

I would go for my kids first, then knowing they were safe go back for dh. I can't image living without any of them.

[seanjoshmom]

I vote to save my children. I think about this all the time, and I feel bad, because although I love my husband very much, I feel like I love my children more and would miss them more if they were gone. Is that awful?

[DiaperDiva]

For those of you who voted to save your husband first, what are your thoughts?

[granolamom]

Without a doubt, my child(ren)....


Granolamom

[LiamnEmma]

Other than that I agree with all the other posts that I am (happily) obligated to protect and save those that I brought into this world, I also think that the thought of losing a spouse is more imaginable to most people because we expect that at some point in our lives we will indeed lose our spouse, kwim? I've given this a lot of thought. I expect that my dh or I will someday die and the other will move on, and to that end, we have made a pact never to remarry or live with another person in order to preserve the life we are making for our children. So, in the event that I could only save one, I would of course save my child, and sadly mourn my dh.

[simonee]

Children. I'd consider going after dh, but not at risk of death. My children need at least one parent, kwim?

Lilyka: :rotflmao :rotflmao :rotflmao :rotflmao :rotflmao

[miriam]

Dear MDC:

DC

[sadie_sabot]

I voted other. I don't know what that means.

Yucko. I suppose I would save dd first because it's my job, my role, my life, to look after her. but I love dp dearly and would die a little myself without him.

Ugh.

[StarMama]

I voted die trying to save the second. Because I know I could never let my child die, and I'm betting I could never let *any* child come to harm if I could help it either. But the thought of loosing my Dh is just horrible to me. Perhaps it will change when our baby is here in my arms, but I simply can not imagine living without my husband. Its actually a huge fear of mine, that he will die driving to work, or something... I just love him *so* much!

And I also don't think I could live with myself if I didn't try. Situations in life aren't so cut and dry. If both your child and husband were in peril, you wouldn't *know* that going back for the other would mean your death for sure... at least in most situations. So if I saved my baby, then watched my dh die, or know that I *might* have been able to save him, I just wouldn't be able to live with myself afterwards.

Very tough survey. I've been reading responses since it got posted, and its taken me this long to really think of what I would do.

[fluffernutter]

I would save ANY child over ANY adult. Yes, I'd even save a stranger's child over my own DH. Maybe that sounds sick, but that's what I'd do. So, yes I would definately save my child over my DH.

[kama'aina mama]

I voted for saving my child... I hope I could stop myself from taking too great a risk to save my husband afterwards. Neither of us would want to orphan her. But of course, none of us really knows what we will do.

My husband rolled his eyes at me when I asked him... "You have to ask? I will save Bonnie."

[bellamama]

I would 100% absolutely pick my dd over my dh if I were faced with a life or death emergency. This is the most basic mothering instinct I think all creatures (human and non) are instilled with. It is an action that happens so quickly, your instincts take over before your brain has a chance to process what is actually happening.

[Chelly2003]

My Child for sure......
In fact, I think I would go so far as to say if "anyone" endangered my child or was trying to HURT my child - I'd go for the kill.

I can see how parents go nuts when their children are raped murdered etc........ I'd do exactly that with no thought of anyone or anything else.

Chelly

[EnviroBecca]

I agree w/most of you: Once we have a child, I'm 99% certain that I will feel it's more important to save the child than to save MrBecca if I HAVE to choose, because MrBecca is more likely to be capable of saving himself and because the child is our future.

But we have strong feelings in the opposite direction about a somewhat different version of this dilemma: When I am pregnant/giving birth, if MrBecca has to make a choice between saving my life and saving the baby, we both think he should choose me. The fact that we could then have another baby later is way low on our list of reasons why. More important to us is that I already have a whole life and a lot of people who love me (including him!) so that my death would impact many people, whereas the baby would have only a few people just beginning to love it and would not really have loved anyone back. We would of course be devastated by the loss of our child (which is the main reason being able to have another baby later isn't much consolation) but not nearly so much as he would be devastated by losing me. Plus, he would then have to take care of a new baby all alone and would be in no condition to do so.

If we already had an older child, that would reinforce our choice, because it would be less devastating to the child to lose a sibling she'd never known than to lose her mother.

Once the child is born and we really get to know and love it, then it's a whole different story. That's how we feel. How about the rest of you?

[NoraB]

I hope this doesn't get me flamed, but here goes...

I would save DH. I would sacrifice my own life for my DD in a heartbeat, but I vowed on my wedding day to love and honor DH above all others (except for God). I know it would destroy me to have to make this choice. Yet, I believe DH and I are one. He is my other half.

[MommyT]

Definately my child. I love my DH with all my heart and soul, but in a different way than I love my son. I would fight to the death for my children. Like someone mentioned before, I would never forgive DH if he saved me before our child.

[journeymom]

I voted "die trying". Though what EnviroBecca mentioned made me change my mind. I've got two children. If I'm faced with trying to save one child or die, I'd choose to stay alive to parent the other child. At least I'd like to think I would. I know I'd want to die if one of my kids died.

What dreadful choices! Anybody read Sophie's Choice ?