i am afraid...

[honeybeedreams]

my partner was trying to console me last night by saying we would try again as soon as i got a period and i was very scared.

i think it is too soon to even think about it yet.

i don't like feeling scared like this, it wasn't like this before. i never associated pregnancy wih being afraid.

the whole week i was bleeding i wanted to be close to my partner and make love, but we didn't because i didn't know what was happening. now i don't even want to think about it.

i don't like feeling like this.


:(

[coralsmom]

this seems to be a common phenomenom, the initial push to conceive again, it gives hope to an otherwise sad time. but your m/c just happened. it sounds like it is too early for you to think about ttc, so let it be that way. your heart and mind and spirit will know when you are ready to ttc agian, with less fear and more clarity. i'm sure your dh was offereing that hope as a way to console his wife who he loves and cares about so much...

some people ttc right away, some wait a little, some a while, they are all doing what is best for them. you sound like a very thoughtful and observant mama, and i'm sure you will know when it feels right to ttc again. it is very acceptable to feel afraid. everything was 'supposed' to go right, and then it didn't. pregnancy and infant loss is a sharp awakening to the fact that each conception that grows into a healthy baby is a miracle. there aren't gaurentees, just statistics that say that most of the time it will work out alright. its hard to be in the statistic that didn't work out ok. so to have some fear is not surprising, because it is a scary place to be. but it seems that after some time has passed and you are able to give it the thought it deserves and listen to your feelings, we are able to put that fear into some kind of perspective. in the mean time, you have to be gentle with body and mind and allow for the healing to start...

[BethanyB]

There isn't anything more I could say that coralsmom didn't. I am also terrified of trying again, since I have had two losses. I guess after a little time goes by, we won't be AS afraid, but I know my next pg will be difficult emotionally. It can't be any harder than what I have already gone through. That's what I keep trying to remember.:hug

[newcastlemama]

I feel afraid too. I feel like my body betrayed me. I treat it so well and this is what happens?! My husband and I said we will TALK about ttc agin in august (when Jack is 2)..that's 6 months. I really need my body to fully recover and my emotions to improve also. I never expected a 12 week MC to happen to me. I also feel a longing to have that little newborn I was looking forward to loving this year..and now that is suddenly over.:(

Dh is trying his best to help since he knows you wanted that baby so badly. Stay open about your feelings...maybe journal...that helps me see patterns and know when I am ready for things. Loves, Jennifer

[PrinceE&LsMom]

I am terrified as well. I feel so bad for my older children they talk about the baby dying almost every day and I don't want them to go through that again. It was very traumatic for them because they saw blood and saw me leave in an aide car not fully grasping the situation. Our plan is to start ttc in June if I am emotionally ready by then. This is the first time in over 4 years I have not been breastfeeding or pregnant so I get to focus on myself for a few months.

[mimi_n_tre]

DH said this to me also. "You can have as many as you want." It did make me feel a *little* better, but at the same time I don't want to go through this with every other pregnancy and who is to say that it won't happen. Scared doesn't even go close to being how to feel. I guess as time goes on, it may be a little better and you won't feel so scared, but all of the insecurites are now there and it is hard to let go of them.

I guess the only thing to do is think positive, at least that is what I do to make every day a little easier...

Mary