Do people reach for your belly? Do you mind?

[~pi]

I don't have huge personal space issues and it hasn't happened often yet, but a few people have reached for my belly, and I don't like it.

One person was my MIL, who I otherwise love and so I don't want to make her feel badly, but it really made me uncomfortable! I intercepted her hand both times and held it firmly. If she doesn't get the hint soon I'm going to have to tell her.

One person was a casual acquaintance who actually rubbed it. Before I could stop myself, I grabbed her breast, and when she looked shocked, said innocently, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were playing the inappropriate and unwanted touching game!" (And honestly, it is so unlike me to have a snappy comeback, so I don't know where that came from! It was very effective, though. I don't think she will ever do that again.)

Some people ask if they can touch it, and I can sort of understand that and don't feel too badly about jokingly saying no. Standard response so far: "That depends. How attached are you to your hand?"

I have no problem with DH touching, and a few other people are OK, too, but in general, I don't like people reaching out for a rub.

[Jish]

You know, I really don't like it either but no one other than dh or the boys has tried to lay a hand on it yet (though we haven't seen my mom or my mil in a while.) When I'm pregnant I find it strange that people would want to touch my belly.

However, when the belly isn't mine, I too have that strange urge to touch my pregnant friends tummies. Never strangers, that's just wierd, but I do to my close friends. I think it's that I often go through so much of their pregnancies with them and I see them so often that I strangely feel a part of their experience. Plus, I just love my friends so much and am so happy for them.

That being said... Dawn, if you find me touching your belly and you don't like it -- feel free to whack my hand.:lol

[Max'sMama]

LOL,
I actually laughed out loud, thanks for that one! That said, I don't mind as long as I know the person touching. If it were a stranger at the store, then I would have a problem. As long as the baby is encapsulated, doesn't bother me a bit when people I know touch. Now, once baby is born, people better not be too attached to their hands (as Maria put it so well) if they want to touch the baby. Close friends and close family excluded.

[amybw]

Lurking from due in august...

I LOVE your "game" :laugh:

My mom asked me yesterday "Can I say bye to the baby?"
I told her no. My mom doesnt just touch my belly ( from past pregnancy experience) she kinda drums her fingers in a creepy way. (shiver)

I had a big belly prepregnancy :lol so i told her it is just my food baby that is poking out at the top, the real baby is under that. :lol My baby is just now probably reaching my belly button so when they touch my belly at the top that is jst touching my fat that the baby has pushed up. I am pretty self conscious about being fat anyay, no need to caress it. UGH!

I hate it when people touch my belly uninvited.
I think it is RUDE!
Just because a woman is pregnant does not give anyone license to reach out and grab her protruding body part. :irked:

If i see someone who looks like they got a boob job since last time i saw them i dont reach out and grab them! :lol

:)
Amy

[lotus.blossom]

Oh I'm gonna have to remember the boob grab! That was brilliant, Maria!

The only person to touch my belly so far was my brother in law. It was humorous because he tried to simultaneously touch the babe, lean over to talk to my belly, and give me a hug at the same time and he is 6'6" so it was akward! I didn't mind because I won't see him again while pregnant.

I'm not really big yet and can still hide my belly when I want to, so strangers haven't caught on yet. But I tell ya, if a stranger wanted to touch my belly it better be a cute old lady or else I might get a little irritated.

[ksjhwkr]

I voted that they do and it bothers me...but if it is friends or family, I don't care. It is when complete strangers come up to me and touch my belly that it drives me BATTY!

[sewaneecook]

I don't mind DH patting my belly, I kinda think of it as bonding time! Luckily not too many people have tried to "pet" me. I'm a massage therapist and I have a couple clients who think it is appropriate to pat my belly ... FTR ... never pet your massage therapist's belly, it WILL negatively effect your massage!

At Christmas (I was hardly even showing), my 7-year-old niece was really cute and cuddling up to me and talking to the baby and patting the belly ... that I didn't mind. But adults should know better!

The only belly I've ever "pet" was my sister's and she told me to b/c the baby was poking her foot out like an alien. Other than that I've refrained. I wonder if guys with really big beer bellies would mind being petted? :lol

[turtlemama77]

My belly button feels weird when anyone touches it, so no, I wouldn't want anyone touching my belly. So far, no one has tried (except dh, but he's got the all clear, as long as he steers clear of the belly button). My inlaws have very obviously checked out my belly to see if they can see a bump though. It cracked me up.

[wintermagick]

I didn't mind when I was pregnant, I always thought it was cute.

Only one time I did mind; it was when someone I really didn't get along with did it. *Shudders* I gave a really false smile, but had to fight the urge not to say, "Please don't touch me... and stay away from my kid too."

[gumby74]

I think the biggest issue I have with it is that I am not that big right now. Once my stomach is big enough that you can tell you are touching the baby and not just my fat, I won't mind as much. I wonder if we carried the babies in our butt if people would be as inclined to touch it then? :blush

[Quagmire]

:rotflmao :rotflmao Maria, that is awesome. Now what would you have grabbed if a guy touched your belly I wonder?

Family and certain friends are ok, but overall I am definitely in the no, do not touch my belly camp. I don't even like shaking hands!

[wintermagick]

:rotflmao :rotflmao Maria, that is awesome. Now what would you have grabbed if a guy touched your belly I wonder?

Family and certain friends are ok, but overall I am definitely in the no, do not touch my belly camp. I don't even like shaking hands!

Love your name (and location) :lol ... I'm a huge Family Guy fan. :thumb

[mamacarla]

I am not showing yet this time but my last pregnancy people touched me all the time - even complete strangers. Only one of them (a male co-worker and friend) asked permission and I freely gave it.

I guess I am different than most people here in that I don't mind it at all. I have always felt extreme positive energy coming from hands on my belly. People have sent me such positive loving baby vibes and I have enjoyed seeing their joy in touching a growing baby.

I am a pretty touchy feely person in general though.

Carla

[jinkel]

Carla,

I *totally* wish I were like you! What you're saying *is* correct - - people are, in general, certainly not trying to offend me/us (pg mamas). At best, they are sending all those positive baby vibes. At worst, they're just curious, and want to touch. I *know* I should cut them slack. :)

With that said.....


IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.


I can't help it. It makes me wildly uncomfortable (with the exception of friends/family/the occasional sweet old lady)...

[lilyka]

no body ever did and it made me sad. I felt like no one cared about my "bump". But I come from a tradition of laying on of hands in every instance so I am used to people reaching out in blessing and love be it an arm around my shoulder, a hand on my knee or touching the baby belly.

[sunshinestarr]

I wasn't so sure how to vote (so I didn't)... Most people don't reach, my MIL who I'm seeing for the first time in a long time (haven't seen my own DM is a while) gave my belly a "hug" and a kiss before me.. I didn't really like her touching like this but I play it cool since I only see her very rarely. My good friend asked if she could rub the belly and I honestly didn't mind. :)
Perfect strangers though - no. Thank GOODNESS - that would really freak me out.

[CamsMama]

I hate it when strangers or people I don't know very well do it. I had a couple of coworkers (friends) who touched my belly occasionally last time, but they always asked permission first, so I was fine with that. The only person who has dared to touch me this time is my sister & it was weird. But, I make myself be OK with it because I did it to her when she was pg. She's getting her revenge!

[~pi]

I guess I am different than most people here in that I don't mind it at all. I have always felt extreme positive energy coming from hands on my belly. People have sent me such positive loving baby vibes and I have enjoyed seeing their joy in touching a growing baby.
That is a great way to look at it!! Thank you!! :D I'm going to try thinking about that next time someone reaches out. :thumb

[cjcolorado]

I'm from a very non-touchy-feely sort of community, so I'm always taken aback by people who are not as 'personal-space-conscious' as me (though, I usually don't mind it). Nonetheless, if a complete stranger came up to me and did it, I'd probably wig out!

[AidansMommy1012]

Can't say I'm a huge fan of it. The only people I've been okay with doing it have been DH and my best friend, who is pregnant and a month ahead of me, so we're having this really great experience of going through our pregnancies together. And I'd prolly be fine with little old ladies. But otherwise, I dislike it. My MIL does it all the time, as well as SIL when she's in town and I think I'm going to start trying to intercept their hands. They're very touchy-feely, and I'm just not. When I'm pregnant, I really feel an increased need for personal space and I dislike having that space invaded by someone who hasn't asked permission. The way I view it is that it's rude to touch someone without their permission when they're not pregnant, and it's not kosher to touch a baby without a parent's permission, so there shouldn't be any difference when the baby is contained within the mother. It is still my body.