I don't know what to do....

[Yin Yang]

So Sebastian is finally weaned BUT what it did to him - I am not sure I can take it any more!

He basicly has not nursed for almost 3 weeks, but he does try EVERY day at least twice and it's a huge battle. I have to try to redirect him, but that does not always work. As a result of weaning he is EXTREMELY clingy - and please, I mean I HAVE TO BE THERE FOR HIM 24/7! OMG I can't even go make a food or go pee. Don't even think about telling him NO to something he wants to do! He takes that as a totally failure. He asks me to go to read I get up to get water and he goes into his mode where he just whines and cries and calles my name and it's just draining me!!! I just wanna run away and be alone for a week!!!
He has nightmares at night and he sleeps literally ON ME. He has to make sure I AM STILL next to him, all the time. I don't know what to do any more. I am sooo tired and I am starting to resent him :( I don't wanna feel that way, but I just can't deal with this any longer.

What should I do?? He's never happy no matter what I do....:bawl

[ksjhwkr]

I don't know Mama...but I feel your pain. Seth has been super clingy recently also. I think it's that he senses that something big is going on and isn't sure how to deal with it. Seth still tries to nurse also, but really doesn't ask for it as much anymore. It's been almost 2 weeks and it is much better. Stick to your guns and do what you feel is best for you and your family.
I know, I'm not much help... :hug

[bfoster2000]

I agree that they sense something big is going on. DJ weaned back in January...he had been slowly cutting back so when he went for more than a week without asking, I decided we were done. Since then, when he asks, I've been able to redirect him without any problems...I'm still not sure how he will react when another baby is having *his* boobies but I'll know soon enough! DJ hasn't had a problem with the weaning, like I said, he mostly did it himself with only a little encouragement from me but he has also become more clingy and all that lately. I had attributed it to the fact that I haven't been feeling well and dh and I have been having SERIOUS problems. I know it's frustrating...tonight we were playing outside and I had to go to the restroom. I asked DJ if he was ready to come inside and he said emphatically "No!" So I told him I had to go in and potty but he could stay and play with my neighbor. At first he said no to that too but when I picked him up and headed inside, he started crying and reaching for my neighbor. Fine...he plays outside with her all the time while I'm working or cooking or just resting. I let him get down and run over to her and her kids and I told him I was going inside..bye bye. He smiled and waved bye bye and grabbed a ball to play. I walked inside and straight to the restroom but no sooner did I sit down than I heard a knock on the door and DJ just SCREAMING hysterically. My neighbor said as soon as I went inside, he started looking around asking "where's mommy" and went nuts. I got him calmed down and snuggled for a few minutes then he started saying he wanted to eat so I told him I'd have to put him down to go make dinner and he went totally nuts again holding on to me for life and screaming. I don't get it!

The only thing that is helping me is getting a little "me time" every day. I take DJ to my mom's house for a little while every day while I work and just relax and enjoy my personal space some (I know that sounds awful and I feel guilty sayign it but I'm only human!) I've also been putting him to bed and then trying to come play on the computer or do something that is fun for me for a little while instead of going to bed when he does.

Other than that, I don't really know what to tell you. I'm sure this is a phase that will pass soon enough and then they'll be pushing us away when we want to hug and kiss them! Good luck...I hope things get better soon...

Barb

[Sandrine]

DD2 is like that too. She is so more clingy than she used to be and she has started the negative attitude too.

Like the other ppl said, i'm sure she knows that there is a big change coming.

We are also trying to prepare her and her sis to move in together. I'm not sure how that will take with either one. DD1 doesn't want to sleep with her sis as dd2 talks in bed before falling asleep. lol I need to think things thru and see what i can do to make it smoother for them.

[Red Sonja]

I'm sorry mama, that's a hard thing to go through. Like some PPs have said, my DS (18 months) has also become more clingy, gotta-touch-mommy lately. He's still nursing (though I'm not sure there's any milk) and went from nursing 4-5 times a day to nursing 12+ times a day. I think he can sense something, too.

:hug to you and your DS.

[witt]

sounds hard
I'm guessing you don't want to nurse him anymore? If that's your decision and you want to stick to it, can you nurture/make a fuss of him in other ways, indulge him until he settles down?

I tandem fed my older one and my second one, and it was hard. Eventually I knew I had to wean him when I felt resentful and touched out, and when my older one nursed I just wanted him OFF! He was 3 1/2yrs!
So if you are at this point, I think it's better to keep him off then have nursing sessions you resent. Some of that must transmit also!

You'll just need to be strong, and mutter 1000 times under your breath, "this too shall pass":thumb

[puddleduck]

hiya,

its so difficault being a mum when you're pregnant - everything seems tougher than it ever was before.
my only advice- remember - by the time you are beginning to worry about something to do with children thats normally when the phase will begin to end. Give him a couple of months and i'm sure you'll see a huge difference (until you have number 2 !!). I guess he knows when number 2 arrives there will be less chance to have mummy time so he is getting all he can now. Go with it while you can - try and spend as much time with him as possible and save your sanity by giving yourself lots of you time while dh is arround.

Your a fab mum and you're just doing the best you can :hug

vikki

[Yin Yang]

Thank you for your support mamas! I went to bed at 8pm last night and my DH stayed up playing with DS. I did not expect to fall esleep but I did and all I remember is my DH bringing Sebastian at 10pm into my bed, after then I woke up at 4am!! :wink :thumb It felt SO GOOD to sleep so much!! I don't even remember the last time I slept 6 hours straight!! Maybe 3 years ago! MY DH rocks!
I am glad DS is at the point he does not need me to put him to bed at night. I was really surprised!