I arranged for my 12yo to see a doctor friend of mine for puberty issues because he has not started growing what so ever, and this was verified by his normal pedia. but they refuse to do anything, and my husband refuses to do anything about it also, so.. Ive arranged for him to see a woman doctor I know of who is a specialist in female children, but used to do males also before she specialized.

The thing is, he wants circumcised. I have talked to his father at length about this and his father is completely and totaly 100% against it until he's 18 or older. I am borderline but completely against infant circumcision.

Because of his lack of development his foreskin did not separate from his glans until about 14-15 months ago, sometime when he was 11. At that time his penis got extremely irritated and we took him to his pedia. who recomended that he be circumcised. My husband rejected this. Now, this past summer he had issues with his foreskin being tight and he could not retract it to clean himself, so another trip to the doctors, another recomendation of circumcision. But my husband rejected it again, and the doctors told him, and showed him how to do streching. Over the next few months he researched circumcision and found out that he wanted it done. at one of his checkups my husband and his doctor tricked him and it pisssed me off. They were prepared to allow him to be circumcised and they even went as far as putting the plastibell on his penis, and then they said.. now do you really, really want to do this? We can give you cream and the cream will help you and you dont have to have this done.. They basically talked him out of it and made him feel guilty for wanting it done.

Now.. Since he is going to see my friend, I brought up the issue and she said that she can circumcise him right then and there, but she needs both parents consent, and I KNOW I can not get it from my husband.

I know that he is going to ask her about it, and I know it is going to make a very sore spot in the family again.

I just want my son to be happy. I would prefer him to stay intact, but I think its his choice.



While i have some readers attention.. another thing. Do you know anything about HRT repplacement therapy in boys? I have gotten no details yet from my friend, but with the mesaurements that was taken of my sons testicles at his last drs visit they said he has not matured at all since he was a little tiny boy, they said his testies were about 1ml each. I have seen him undressed and, yes.. his boy parts are not what you would expect from a 5' 105lb boy.

One further thing.

He still wets the bed and I have been told in another forum that having him circumcised would help this, but I think its a ton of BS... is there any truth to this?

Your son is having other issues and is in no mental state to choose to cut off a major part of his body. If he still wants it done at 18 then you can offer to pay for it if you feel strongly about it but no way I'd do it at this point. And to my knowledge there is no way anyone should offer to circ. in office at this point- it needs to be done under general.

-Angela

Why does he say he wants to be circumcised? Have you and he completely gone over all the detriments of the procedure with him? Does he know what he would be giving up? I think this decision should definately wait until he has more maturity, ideally at least until he becomes sexually active and understands the functions of his foreskin.

I don't know exactly what the timeframe for puberty in boys is, but I remember at 12 that most of us girls were starting it, and only a few of the boys. So there may not be anything unusual about his development.

Why does he say he wants to be circumcised? Have you and he completely gone over all the detriments of the procedure with him? Does he know what he would be giving up? I think this decision should definately wait until he has more maturity, ideally at least until he becomes sexually active and understands the functions of his foreskin.

I don't know exactly what the timeframe for puberty in boys is, but I remember at 12 that most of us girls were starting it, and only a few of the boys. So there may not be anything unusual about his development.

He's a guy.. Im a woman.. He refuses to talk to me about his penis. I had to more or less corner him when I had to help him bathe with his cast on last week to get to see his issues. I wasnt prepared to even talk with my pedia. friend until I saw them for myself last week, because he would refuse to let me see.

but from what I gather from what he told me last week, and what he told his father, he is not happy with having a very long foreskin, as when he is soft his penis is not long enough to retract the foreskin to urinate right or clean it right, and he thinks it makes his masturbation time harder.

12 years old is not old enough for you to be worrying about puberty.

And it is not old enough for you to be thinking that foreskin separation is late. Many boys do not have separation until after puberty.

You need to chill and leave him alone. He does not have physical problems or puberty delay. He has something emotional going on. Where did he get the idea that his sexual development is delayed? From his peers? Or from you?

I totally agree with your husband that he is too young to choose circumcision. His penis is not fully developed yet. He will learn to masturbate 'better' when it is more developed, when he is older. I think the foreskin being 'too long' right now is related to him not being in advanced puberty yet. Puberty is the time that the penis grows into adult size. If he's not at that point yet, then it's no wonder that his foreskin is 'longer' than he might like.

Is he around other boys who are circumcised? Are they filling his head with this nonsense about his foreskin being too long? He needs to learn about the superiority of having a normal, intact penis.

He needs to be taught about his ridged band, his inner mucosal skin, his frenular delta, his un-keratinized glans. He needs to learn that his penis is sexually superior in every way to a cut male.

He may be developing slowly, but when he catches up with the 'faster' boys, he will be the superior sexual performer.

Many thirteen year old girls have not developed breasts. They see other girls with developing or even fully developed breasts. They are jealous of them, they think that they will never have big, sexy breasts like the other girls. So do you get them implants? Or do you teach them to be patient with their bodies? Do you teach them to love their bodies and appreciate their own beauty and sexual attractiveness with small or large breasts?

He should not have his body modified. He should have his perspective modified, which is the responsibility of his parents, to guide him and help him to grow and learn about himself, emotionally, sexually, intellectually.

This is a parenting challenge. It's not time to amputate parts of his genitals, it's time to parent him.

OK I am feeling much better with the first couple replies on the circumcision thing.

But as for his puberty issue, his normal pediatrician says that his puberty is delayed because he has not grown at all and that his blood tests show a lack of a specfic horomone which i dont know the name of right now.. but they was going to give him a 'booster' shot in a year when he's 13.5..

He will be 13 in 3 months.

Well I will stand beside the hubby on the circumcision thing... But I still think a second oppinion the puberty issue is not a bad thing.

Growth hormones scare me. They don't know near enough about them and their side effects. I don't think I would even be CONSIDERING them yet in your shoes. I have seen reference to the possibility that they seriously increase the chance of cancer. Not something to toy with. It sounds like your son is well within the range of normal- I taught kids that age and some of the boys just didn't start growing until 14 or so.

-Angela

:clap Great post, LeosMama.

I don't know the link offhand, but could someone give the OP the link to the video "The Prepuce?" I hear it is excellent for understanding the wonders of the foreskin. :)

D is in 7th grade, and I know one of the issues he faces is that he is mortified about going to high school and not having hit puberty and showing the outward signs because our school district forces the children to shower.

I dont know your relationship with your son.


However, I feel you are majorly jumping the gun and worried about things that should be a non issue.

Puberty at 12?

I am a man, here is my personal experiance.

I did not hit my first growth spurt until i was 13 and a half, and I grew almost half a foot that summer and the beginning of the next school year. I did not even get pubic hair until I was in to the middle of the first trimester.

Puberty is not something you should be worried about, if a boy is developing at 12 or less they are EARLY bloomers. A late bloomer is about 14.

He may have friends that are early bloomers, but they do not make the majority of the children.

The tightness he may be feeling may be early signs of the growth. However I wouldn't know.

HRT is risky. I do not knwo why anyone would want to put hormones into their child.... He seems way to young to be concerned about this.

Your husband does not seem concerned, that is probably because he knows that this isn't as big of an issue as it seems to you.

Circumcision is not the answer to this in any way shape or form, the irritation your son experianced was probably the normal separation of the foreskin from the glans.

Anyways. I think that you are jumping the gun and there are some men who don't retract their foreskin until their late teens, so 12 is well within the normal age to 'start' retracting....

Dont know, I just worry that you may be worrying over nothing at all.


One more note... if he has not matured with puberty, he really wouldn't have a 'masturbation' time.... And if he did.... I am HIGHLY surprised that he would talk with you about it....

One more note... if he has not matured with puberty, he really wouldn't have a 'masturbation' time.... And if he did.... I am HIGHLY surprised that he would talk with you about it....

Boys can, and often do masturbate before puberty. It is a common occurance.

And, he did not talk to m e about it, this was relayed from his father.

No one else has mentioned about the peeing the bed thing so i will. That was a old myth that was perpetrated to get parents to circ there sons. It ranks right up there with the masterbation and going blind crap. There is absolutly no connection between wetting the bed and the foreskin. What do u cut of little girls who wet the bed??? They are more likely to wet the bed than boys. Whoever told u this is so ignorent it makes me wanna :Puke

Your son has no idea yet the importance of his foreskin where sex is concerned it sounds like to me u need to sit down and have a talk with him or if that isnt something u feel comfortable doing u should print out pages of info to let him read on just what the foreskin is and how it works with sex. U need to tell him how lucky he is to be whole and unaltered. Your son is old enough to understand if he is given the proper information on his intact status. I think maybe some one has been talking to him possibly a friend and making him feel like he is different and needs it "fixed" Talk to him please find out the root of the problem.

Like one of the pp's said just retractable at 11 is well within the normal range. And if someone told u it wasnt then they need a intact penis education.

I am so happy that your husband wants to keep him intact. Usually it is the oposite.

Also think of it this way if it was your daughter coming to you wanting to have cosmetic surgery on her genitals I bet u good money you would not even consider it. Unless there was truly a physical problem. In your sons case from ur description he is totally normal. Also at least give him till 14 to worry about the puburty thing. Everyone is different some early bloomers some late. Shoot I was almost 16 before I had my first period and a girl I went to school with was 18 she and I both are fine and have kids. Give nature a chance to work before u try to push it along.

Forcing people to shower naked together is inappropriate and abusive.

If your son for some reason wants to attend a school where this is considered acceptable, he'll probably want to consider different ways of handling it - from showering with a bathing suit on, to bringing a change of clothes and changing in a private stall without showering (maybe use a washcloth over the sink for underarms), to being excused from gym altogether, to lobbying with the school to create more appropriate facilities.

About masturbation: Many, many children learn to masturbate before puberty. It is common and normal. Since circ. was at one time recommended for discouraging masturbation activity, and since a couple circ'd men I know cannot masturbate without lube added (due to the outer shaft skin not having enough length to slide up and down), I definitely would not consider circ. to offer any kind of masturbation advantage.

Ok, this is just my opinion and I have no medical background in development. However, my son just had surgery because one of his testicles never developed in utero and the remains were in his abdomen and needed to be removed. I got into in depth convo with his doctor about the survival of his remaining testicle and how important it is to hormonal development.

This is what I would try to do if I was your sons mother. I believe if his testicles are underdeveloped at this age, and the hormonal blood tests back this up, then I would make a plan with him to try out hormonal replacement and see if his body begins to mature and then see how he feels about his foreskin. Not react to these problems at the same time. Right now he feels like he will never be like the other boys with facial hair or deep voices and if he is lacking the hormones the testicles provide, then he probably will not develope. He will probably be sterile as well, but the hormone replacement would help him mature in the other important ways. I know that injected hormone does have very real risk, but without them, (provided you get it proven his testicles wont make this hormone) he wont go through puberty or mature. This would be my first concern and tell him you both will tackle this problem before the foreskin one.

Also, I dont know how "legal" it is to force children to shower in any school. I know he might not want to be singled out as the one kid who is excused from this, but heck, i bet other kids dont want to do that as well and I dont see how in the state of the world today, a school system can force that on anyone. Not arguing with you that its not true, but maybe look into the validity of that rule as well.

Lastly, there is NO WAY that you leaving his foreskin with him at birth and him continuing to keep it with him to this point, that it caused his testicles to not form correctly. It might be a genetic thing, it might be a fluke, but it is NOT because he remained intact. DO not let yourself worry about that.

Anyway, I wish you tons of luck and offer support and hope you guys find a solution your son and you will be happy with, and I personally hope that maybe at his age hes thinking that circ will magically fix his hormone problem and if you can fix it another way, he wont mind how he is so much. If he is having emotional problems with this, he might not be thinking about it rationally and he just wants to convince himself that circ would be a quick fix to all.
I think you should explore the hormone levels, and the relation to the testicles or underdevelopted testicles, and deal with that issue before the one of his foreskin. Because if his body is really not making what it needs for puberty, therapy will be needed for him to mature regardless of circumcision or not.

love to you,

SJane, I am not qualified to address the hormonal problem but the internet is a wonderful thing. Use it to research and become educated so that you can tell if the doctors are giving you current information or outdated information. A study about a year ago showed that if you presented at a hospital emergency room with a heart attack, you were far more likely to survive if your attending doctor has been in practice less than 10 years than if he had been in practice more than 20 years. Think about it the same way with your son's problem. Fortunately, you have the time to do the research where the heart attack victims do not.

A circumcision will have absolutely no effect on bedwetting. None, nada, zilch!

As for a circumcision for your son . . . Would you allow him to get tattoos if he wanted them? Of course not! You recognize that he is not old enough to fully consider all of the ramifications of such an action. It is your job as a parent to protect him from ill conceived notions such as this and you have the responsibility to protect him from unnecessary cosmetic surgery until he is mature enough to fully consider the ramifications of that decision. You do not owe him a circumcision and it is not your responsibility to provide one any more than it is your responsibility to provide a tattoo for him.



Frank

I was thinking about you and your son in my bed tonight, I had to get up and come back. You need to have your ped refer you to an endocrinologist for the horomonal aspect. They are the type of doctor who could tell you as close to sure as you could get about the delayed puberty issue, and if it is a matter of missing hormone or something else. Please deal with this before you go to circ.
love,

I was thinking about you and your son in my bed tonight, I had to get up and come back. You need to have your ped refer you to an endocrinologist for the horomonal aspect. They are the type of doctor who could tell you as close to sure as you could get about the delayed puberty issue, and if it is a matter of missing hormone or something else. Please deal with this before you go to circ.
love,


In january he had a complete blood makup done, he also had an ultrasound done on his testicles. I know that they tessted for FSH and LH and i really do not understand what the role is of these, but aparantly both was present but not in normal levels and they had said that his testicles had not grown any noticeable amount since he was like 2 years old.

I am playing catch up here and, I dont really know how to play catch up.

D is in 7th grade, and I know one of the issues he faces is that he is mortified about going to high school and not having hit puberty and showing the outward signs because our school district forces the children to shower.

Even where I grew up, in a small, hick, southern town, no one was required to shower during school. Methinks your sons school is stuck in the 1970s. Maybe you should take the school board information from other schools showing how showering is no longer considered necessary?

~Nay

]
A circumcision will have absolutely no effect on bedwetting. None, nada, zilch!

It doesnt sound like it would does it! Thank you.

I think being 12 is way too young to understand the ramifications of circumcision. I think you just have to be firm on this. He is probably conflating his puberty troubles with the foreskin. Maybe if you can solve the puberty issue, he will get past the foreskin issue. Either way, hugs to you all.

Even where I grew up, in a small, hick, southern town, no one was required to shower during school. Methinks your sons school is stuck in the 1970s. Maybe you should take the school board information from other schools showing how showering is no longer considered necessary?

~Nay

I graduated HS in 1994, my husband in 1993, neither of us from the same city/state, but both of us have had to take showers the entire time from 6th grade on considering we only had to have 1 year of PE since then. I grew up in Maryland and my husband in Virginia..

I know that my sister who lives in Charlottoe NC, their high school system requires showers after PE.

Granted I do not like the idea personally, because I feel that without the shower issue that D would not care about his development so much.

I think being 12 is way too young to understand the ramifications of circumcision. I think you just have to be firm on this. He is probably conflating his puberty troubles with the foreskin. Maybe if you can solve the puberty issue, he will get past the foreskin issue. Either way, hugs to you all.


Thank you. My husband and I talked about it this morning and he is willing to let dan try a very low scale treatment when he turns 13 this summer, but he said he wants it monitored very closely. I am again, in the middle because I want D to be happy and i have listend to him complain to his dad for a year now and I am finally getting some input in the issue.

Ihad to step in hear. I'm not an expert or a man. That being said I did marry one. He was 19 when we got married and devliped quite a bit after that. He is circed . When we were first married he had no problems with erections (thet were stright) At about 23 they started becoming painfull and bent. He also grew alot more body hair in that time. There for in my nonexpert opinon he didn't finish pubuty and growing till about 23.

Quick here

Since this is not an extremely urgent matter, take the time to continue your research and find a way for someone to communicate all the functions of the foreskin and the ramifications of circumcision to you son. This may be another trusted adult and not your DH.

Since the foreskin plays a huge part in sexuality, I think a person should have some significant sexual experience before choosing to circumcise. It is not a surgery that can be undone.

Good thoughts in other posts regarding showers, endocrinologist etc.

BTW I did not mature until 15.

With the shower issue I would definitely write a letter exempting my son from such nonsense. If that isn't good enough for the school I'm sure a letter from your lawyer would be.

As for the circ issue I can see that you want your son to be happy but the thing is when our kids are still under our care its our responsibility to think in terms of long term happiness. Heaven knows they aren't going to. Right now your son is thinking in terms of his next PE class, its your job to think in terms of the next 60 years. If you can get him to understand the importance and function of a foreskin, great. If not I would still not allow a circ.

Right now I'm sure he is thinking that circ is the answer and all his problems will be solved if he can just have it done. When that doesn't happen whats the next plan of action? Nose job to fix his face? Steriods to grow him muscles?

Casey

Hi,

I won't comment on the circumcision/penis issues because the experts have already spoken. I have a cousin who was very small for his age, and right around 12 is when he panicked about it, and started looking for a way to blame his parents. I know that he did see a therapist for a few years about it. I don't know if he had any hormonal treatments-- there are quite a few very short men on the chunk of his family tree I don't share.

He is now about 5'6", and has had a few serious girlfriends (he's in his 20s), so I guess everything worked out for him.

Is it possible your son is afraid he will never grow, and thinks being circumcized would make it less obvious somehow?

Anyhow, I'm sorry your son (and you) are going through this. Waiting for puberty was a very difficult thing for my cousin.

ZM

My wonderful son JUST started puberty and will be 14 in July... I feel saddend for everyone involved...Sounds like an endocrinolgist is needed andnot a circumcison

My wonderful son JUST started puberty and will be 14 in July... I feel saddend for everyone involved...Sounds like an endocrinolgist is needed andnot a circumcison

This is the information I wanted... and I wanted to be reassured that in not fighting his father on the circumcision thing I was still being fair. So you also think that having him see another doctor for a second oppinon on his growth issues is apropriate?

Hi,

I won't comment on the circumcision/penis issues because the experts have already spoken. I have a cousin who was very small for his age, and right around 12 is when he panicked about it, and started looking for a way to blame his parents. I know that he did see a therapist for a few years about it. I don't know if he had any hormonal treatments-- there are quite a few very short men on the chunk of his family tree I don't share.

He is now about 5'6", and has had a few serious girlfriends (he's in his 20s), so I guess everything worked out for him.

Is it possible your son is afraid he will never grow, and thinks being circumcized would make it less obvious somehow?

Anyhow, I'm sorry your son (and you) are going through this. Waiting for puberty was a very difficult thing for my cousin.

ZM

Hi.. He is 5' on the nose and 105lbs.. he's probably atleast average for his age.. Thats not the growth he is worried about.

My DS is 5'4' and 108 pounds and he will be 14 in july..he looks "
average" or "typical to me..i was just at a band concert his school gave and there was a range among the boys of probably 4 feet 8 inches to almost 6 feeet and they are all in the eighth grade so they are 12, 13 or 14 years old...My DS just starting getting hair on his legs about 4 months ago, his voice JUST starting changing with in the last 2 weeks and I have NO idea about hair any where else although he told me he wanted to start shaving soon ( shave WHAT ?? the peach fuzz??/..of course I did not SAY that ) :o

good luck

My DS is 5'4' and 108 pounds and he will be 14 in july..he looks "
average" or "typical to me..i was just at a band concert his school gave and there was a range among the boys of probably 4 feet 8 inches to almost 6 feeet and they are all in the eighth grade so they are 12, 13 or 14 years old...My DS just starting getting hair on his legs about 4 months ago, his voice JUST starting changing with in the last 2 weeks and I have NO idea about hair any where else although he told me he wanted to start shaving soon ( shave WHAT ?? the peach fuzz??/..of course I did not SAY that ) :o

good luck

*giggles* The only reason I was able to get Dan to even talk to me is because I had to help him with a bath twice last week because he had a cast on his leg, that was removed this past monday, thank the lord to be merciful. I swear a 12 yo in a full leg cast is... the worst parenting nightmare. "DS" actually sings in our adult church choir, and i have seen everything else helping him with his bath.

Question. When I was helping him with his bath and he brought up puberty, I asked if I could see his parts for myself, other than just below a bunch of bubble bath, and he said OK and showed me.. I could tell that he was mildly uncomfortable with this, so I wont ask him again.. but Ive been debating if I was wrong in even asking that.

Ihad to step in hear. I'm not an expert or a man. That being said I did marry one. He was 19 when we got married and devliped quite a bit after that. He is circed . When we were first married he had no problems with erections (thet were stright) At about 23 they started becoming painfull and bent. He also grew alot more body hair in that time. There for in my nonexpert opinon he didn't finish pubuty and growing till about 23.
I just wanted to say that my dh didn't really complete puberty either. last summer (when our son was 4-6 mos old) he finally started growing chest hair! he thankfully hasn't had problems with bent erections but his circ did affect our sex life. nice to know I wasn't the only one with a late bloomer. he didn't grow facial hair until he was 19 yrs old and really didn't need to shave his face until he was 21!

I just wanted to say that my dh didn't really complete puberty either. last summer (when our son was 4-6 mos old) he finally started growing chest hair! he thankfully hasn't had problems with bent erections but his circ did affect our sex life. nice to know I wasn't the only one with a late bloomer. he didn't grow facial hair until he was 19 yrs old and really didn't need to shave his face until he was 21!
to the OP I never *had* to shower at school although we were given that option...and they were private stalls.

I would be a bit leery of a school that forces kids to shower together especially at such a sexually tender age...

I'm not sure how i'm going to handle my boys as one is circ'd and the other is going to remain intact. I'm sure one will try to make the other feel inferior and the sad truth is that my older son IS inferior as most of his sexual nerves are gone.

I would definately wait until he is 18...I accidentally walked in on my cousin once when he was 13 and his *parts* still looked quite tiny although i'm sure he has matured since then.

I used to babysit for 2 children where one needed HRT. It worked wonderfully for him. He was a very very small child who simply was not growing. By 8 years old he could give himself the injections each day.
That said, if your son needs HRT, that should likely solve any other growth problems--no need to jump to something drastic like circumcision. But honestly, a 5 foot tall 12 year old sounds completely normal to me. My husband didn't really hit puberty until 16. I don't understand the hurry!

- Krista

Even though your son will be 13 soon, he is still at the beginning of the time frame to start puberty, not the end. I would really make that clear to him, he is far from being a late bloomer and far, far, far from being abnormal. It is like a girl waiting for her first period or waiting for breasts to start to grow when all her friends are already in bras.... it sucks to be the one waiting, but I don't know that artificial hormones are the answer.

Boys tend to go through an awkward time before puberty kicks in. They grow and get big.... but their penises and testicles stay looking like they belong to a smaller boy.... then puberty kicks in. Once those hormones start going on their own, his voice will deepen, his penis will grow, his testicles will grow, his shoulders will widen out, etc. It sounds like so far his hormones have been working as he sounds like average height and weight.... just give him some more time.

I have a brother who is about to turn 15. I know nothing of his genital development, but shortly before he turned 14 is when we all noticed all those other changes happening. He is on the young side for his class (spring b-day) so it was hard for him watching early bloomers who were also older become 6feet tall with upper lip hair and deep voices in 6th or 7th grade. My parents just kept reminding him that he was normal, he would catch up, his body would change, and that he was young yet. When boys start to develop, it happens so quickly! He is already taller than me and really had no problem catching up to his peers. When he answers the phone sometimes I think it is my dad! Amazing how fast they change.

As far as circumcision goes, I would wait on that. Find ways to let your son know how superior being intact is when it comes to sexual function that he will enjoy later. Maybe let him know too that there are many women who prefer intact partners.... cause if all he is getting is a message from his peers that he is abnormal, this might start to mess with his self-esteem and get him thinking that women won't be interested in it when he is ready. I will allow for my son to get a circumcision if he chooses, at an age when he is old enough to have say in his sexual health..... and in my eyes 12,13,14 are all too young. I don't know exactly when, but I figure sometime after age 16ish, after he has gotten use to masturbation with forskin, after he has grown, when he is at an age that he will be deciding if he should become sexually active yet, etc. Boy, I would hate for my son to decide at the impressionable and rough age of 12 to cut something off and then at 20 figure out what he was missing because it won't grow back.

As a parent, spend your time encouraging him on how beautiful and perfect his body is just the way it is. How not abnormal it is at all. how each body and each person has its own way of growing. You can feel for him and see if he wantss to talk to another doctor about it, let him know that you do understand how he is upset that it is taking so long. SOmetimes kids just need to vent too and they just need their parents to remind them how wonderful they are.

I come from a family of "late-bloomers" My younger brother didn't start voice changing until he was 15 nearly 16. He is 25, and quite the "ladies man" if you know what i mean.

I was 16 1/2 before i had my first menses. I delivered my son when i was 20.

My son is quite small for a 9 year old, has always been rather scrawny, but i take it as that is his natural body shape. Also, once in a blue moon, he wets the bed, but we don't worry about that either. I occationally wet the bed, especially when i am preggers, or i break a fever and i am not going to amputate part of me.

like the tattoo issue--circ is purely cosmetic. Puberty is a confusing time, and an important descision like this shouldn't be done when it is a confusing time. I am positive that one day, your DS will grow into his "skin" .

I know that my sister who lives in Charlottoe NC, their high school system requires showers after PE.



Well, I live in Charlotte, NC. My son is in 6th grade in the public school system in the next county. And nobody showers. I grew up in public school in the same system and I didn't shower.

People absolutely don't shower. Coaches tell everybody to shower, but nobody does.....

To the OP: do you live in a high-circ. area? Is your ds one of the few boys who have remained intact? If so, let him know that he has an advantage that the circ'ed boys don't have--he has a normal penis which will function as nature intended it to. Give him pride in his body.
In the sticky above titled "Web Resources," one of the links has a printout for intact boys titled "Why is mine different?" I'm going to go find it and link you to it so you can show it to your ds. I hope it will help him feel better about his intact status.
Edited to add: Found it! It's at this address: http://circumstitions.com/Different.html
There is also a good one for teenagers titled "Something They Haven't."
You can find it at http://circumstitions.com/Teen.html.
I would be very cautious about giving hormones to a 12 year old. Some boys don't develop until they're 15 or 16. Some are even later.
If your doctor is urging hormone treatments on you, please get a second opinion. He doesn't sound abnormal to me.
Good luck, and best wishes to you and your ds!

My partner was uh, not too endowed when we got together (greater than 4 less than 6) at 16 and now is in the uh, special movie star range at 21. Once going through that growth spurt, he's had tighter erections and sex became incredibly uncomfortable for me so *shrug* I'll say right now circumcision doesn't solve a thing.

To the OP: do you live in a high-circ. area? Is your ds one of the few boys who have remained intact? If so, let him know that he has an advantage that the circ'ed boys don't have

I agree - and tell him if anyone says a word he should comeback with "why are you looking at my c**k? see something you want?"

And tell him if a girl were to say "oh i dont like uncut guys" blahblahblah he should a) assume they've never seen one because usually its only people who havent seen one who say that and b) tell him he wouldnt want to be with someone so shallow as to not want him because he has more skin on his penis than some guys.

I agree - and tell him if anyone says a word he should comeback with "why are you looking at my c**k? see something you want?"

I don't think comments that promote homophobia should be encouraged or tolerated. There are many ways to defend one's genital integrity that do not invoke prejudicial sentiment.

And tell him if a girl were to say "oh i dont like uncut guys" blahblahblah he should a) assume they've never seen one because usually its only people who havent seen one who say that and b) tell him he wouldnt want to be with someone so shallow as to not want him because he has more skin on his penis than some guys.

Yeah that.

I don't think comments that promote homophobia should be encouraged or tolerated. There are many ways to defend one's genital integrity that do not invoke prejudicial sentiment.



Yeah that.



Just so you know, in a boys locker room, if someone is pointing at your penis and saying something derogitory 99.9% of the time they are telling their friends that you are a homo because you are different.

The best defense is to shift the blame, Yes it may not be the nicest but I fully believe that the boy being pointed at will not be left alone unless the person pointing begins to feel uncomfortable.

And you are not promoting homophobia. The other boy obviously has an interest in your sons genetalia. Your son is just letting the other boy know it's ok to look, but not touch. :lol


Sorry, but that is my belief. I was in a locker room where one boy wouldnt stick up for himself and was repeatedly peed on by the jocks and made fun of for his genetalia, when in all actuallity, for being circumsized, there really was nothing wrong with him otherwise other than his social standing. But I would HATE to have to be that kids psychologist later in life.

Just so you know, in a boys locker room, if someone is pointing at your penis and saying something derogitory 99.9% of the time they are telling their friends that you are a homo because you are different.

Which means they are prejudiced as well as ignorant. Neither should be encouraged.

The best defense is to shift the blame, Yes it may not be the nicest but I fully believe that the boy being pointed at will not be left alone unless the person pointing begins to feel uncomfortable.

There are many ways to make the attacker feel uncomfortable without implicitly agreeing with his prejudice. Attacked person could say, "Yeah, I've got more of my penis than you do of yours." He could say, "Don't you have something better to do than compare d!cks?" He could say, "Bigger, longer, and uncut." Or a million other things. Just the attitude that your appearance is a source of pride can circumvent most taunting.

And you are not promoting homophobia. The other boy obviously has an interest in your sons genetalia (sic). Your son is just letting the other boy know it's ok to look, but not touch. :lol

A disapproving "See something you want?" sounds to me like a blatantly homophobic statement, with no resemblance whatsoever to dignified or reasonable self-defense.

Sorry, but that is my belief. I was in a locker room where one boy wouldnt stick up for himself and was repeatedly peed on by the jocks and made fun of for his genetalia, when in all actuallity, for being circumsized (sic), there really was nothing wrong with him otherwise other than his social standing. But I would HATE to have to be that kids psychologist later in life.

Response edited to reflect consideration of original poster's perception:

(reference for notation usage here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sic))

I respectfully disagree that the response you advocate is a good one, regardless of the severity of the situation. I continue to view the statement (when voiced in a negative and defensive tone) as a prejudical one, and I believe there are effective ways to defend oneself that do not involve prejudicial sentiment. I agree that it is very unfortunate that in the above scenario, no one stood up for the victim.

I do hope you don't mean to imply that the abuse was the fault of the victim, because he did not stand up for himself. It seems we agree that the responsibility for abuse always lies with the abuser. I also hope that parents of children entering institutions that intend to force them to be naked in each others' presence will take steps to prevent their children from having to enter the situation to begin with.

It is abusive to force humans to be naked together. That is all.

Its not homophobic to ask someone if they see something they want anymore then it's fatphobic to ask a large person if they like candy.

So now you are implying that a shockingly abusive situation should be blamed on the victim. How very sad.

It is abusive to force humans to be naked together in any situation. And it is pathetic to insist that the only appropriate remedy for abuse is the promotion of prejudice.


Blamed on the victim? No. and i will thank you for never putting words into my mouth that are not there again.

No implications were made. But if the boy, someone in my class, had stuck up for himself I garuntee it would have stopped. How do I know? One of the 'jocks' in particular decided it was going to be my turn to be picked on. I started a fight with him, didn't win the fight, but he no longer picked on me because I stood up for myself.

In the real world there are bullies. If you choose to ignore this fact and a boy is being picked on. What would you do? report it to the principle?... Try being a young man in jr high before you start puttin words into my mouth. What I listed were possible solutions. Just because you want to get defensive about it doesnt mean that they don't work.

I will no longer respond to posts you make. I will thank you not to do so to mine. I find it insulting that you put words into my mouth.


You really shouldn't give advice about what goes on inside of a boys locker room unless you have experianced it. Because until you have been on the receiving end, you are unqualified to pass judgement on those who have.

took out the part about (sic) if what boingo says is true.

..z..
PS: It is cute that you put (sic) after the word circumsicion, but we, me included, had no choice in being cut and telling me i am sick for being circumsized is highly offensive to me. thank you.

(sic) is used to indicate that a misspelling is quoted, and not made by the author currently writing.