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nighten
03-06-2006, 11:00 AM
This Sunday my friends did something really precious for me and the bean and I wanted to share with you, since it's something anyone could do if they wanted.

My local SIL had a baby shower for us a few weeks back, which was wonderful, but was very traditional with lots of older women, friends of the family and relatives, etc. The gifts were off our registries, and were things we needed, which was great.

But my girlfriends decided they needed to have something different where we would be ourselves a bit more freely. Something that wasn't so focused on the material, but on the spiritual.

So Sunday morning they picked me up and we went to one of the girl's houses and had breakfast (they even had sparkling grape juice so I could have a "mimosa" too), then they gave gifts of blessings to the baby.

The idea was based upon the old style fairy tales and although those blessings were typically done at the baby's naming ceremony or christening, my friends wanted to go ahead and get it done now while everyone could get together.

Each woman gave me a gift of time (Tuesdays from 4-8, etc.) and then gave the baby a spiritual gift and blessing. I'm incredibly thankful for the gifts of time alone. I can shower or send them to the grocery, or just go for a walk while they watch the bean. How awesome!

But what really moved me were the Baby Blessings.

Each woman drew on her own strengths, and here's what they gave my daughter:

My funniest friend gave her the Gift of Laughter, especially during difficult times, accompanied by a funny hat, glasses, windup chattering teeth, a snake-in-a-can, and a gorgeous poem about laughter through tears.

My Buddhist friend (and acting doula) gave the Gift of Compassion, accompanied by a children's book about Bugs, because if you can find compassion in your heart for a lowly bug, then you can surely find it for another human being.

My hippie friend gave the Gift of Music, accompanied by a "bag of rhythm" (children's instruments).

My pagan friend gave the Gift of Magic, so that Baby's dreams may come true. It was accompanied by a sculpted little plump fairy godmother.

My intellectual friend gave the Gift of Passion, so that no matter what she does, she may do with all her heart and mind. This was accompanied by a simple white candle.

And my health nut friend gave her the Gift of Good Health, especially healthy eating habits, accompanied by a recipe book for organic baby and toddler foods, and a silver spoon.

And I, who grew up terrified of everything (yet have somehow managed to overcome most of those fears over many long years), gave her the Gift of Courage, accompanied by a St. Christopher medal, so she'd always feel safe to take a leap, even in the dark.

We as a group gave her Creativity, because that is what we as women naturally do, and since women are naturally creative beings, she didn't need that given as a gift but it was nice to say we bestowed it upon her nonetheless. :)

Anyway it was a truly precious gathering and I thought in the midst of my complaining about my myriad of physical discomforts, I'd share this very neat thing with you all, because it was simple and easy and something everyone can do.

Some of the gifts (like the candle and medal) will be saved for when she's older obviously, but the others will be used as she becomes old enough to enjoy them. All the gifts were all written in a little book and I'll store it with her baby book so she can have it years from now.

Wasn't that an incredible thing? I'm so blessed to have such neat friends. :love

And I laughed because my hippie friend made a point to say that they were sorry no one could give the Gift of Common Sense, but no one felt strong enough in it to give some away.

I laughed and laughed. Hopefully by the time she's born someone will come along with common sense who can bless her with a little. :wink




2+twins
03-06-2006, 11:04 AM
I can only say that you must have an incredible circle of friends, and you yourself are truly blessed. :love

aweynsayl
03-06-2006, 11:36 AM
Wow. You have amazing friends! :love

Citykid
03-06-2006, 01:25 PM
Nighten, you have made me cry at my desk. :bawl What a beautiful beautiful ceremony! Thank you very much for sharing it.

Wittyone
03-06-2006, 08:38 PM
What a fabulous circle of friends *you* have been blessed with! Thanks for sharing.

FreeSpiritMama
03-07-2006, 04:38 AM
What amazing friends you have, how beautiful. You and your little baby are truly blessed:love

JefsJen
03-07-2006, 09:16 AM
WOW, those were great! I agree, what a great circle of friends, and a diversified circle of friends you have. LOL Sounds like it was very fun and a very good bonding time for you and them as well. Nothing gives us strength more sometimes then to be amongst a group of strong women. Right? That's why at my birth I am having my 2 friends, though we haven't been friends LONG, we share alot of common ideas....I thought they would be a better comfort to me and give me more strength. Does that make sense?

Citykid
03-07-2006, 10:03 AM
JefsJen, I think it matters most how you will feel about them being with you in a very intimate time when many people want privacy, and whether they will be able to see you get very "messy" (emotionally and physically) and remember that everything is okay. I don't think this is necessarily a function of how long you've been friends.

But what do I know. You've already done this 3 times, you sure know more than me!

JefsJen
03-07-2006, 11:08 AM
right! I was just discussing this thread with one of the friends I mentioned. And she told me that she too wanted alot of different women there when she gave birth but only chose the ones that would be a strength to her. This is what I want. They have both been through birth, natural birth, at least 4 times apiece and know what it's like. One is my doula and the other is just there for emotional support. I believe in her as a person, a friend and she has always been a strength to me in the time that I have known her.

The one that will be my doula I had an issue with at first... with me being in "all my glory" around her... I felt kinda weirded out about it, but now it's nothing to me. I have thought about it alot and decided to just let go of it and not care, really. They are there to support me and help me through a miraculous time...and I really, want them a part of it, as my friends and fellow women.

man, I should've just made a separate post about this one. hahahahha maybe I will in a bit!

You are right though, it doesn't matter how long you've been friends. Not at all.