How To Help Fathers Feel At Ease With Homebirth

[Cathi]

With our son I wanted a homebirth, but dh wanted a hospital birth. We compromised and chose a birthing center. Consequently, I didn't feel "at home" or "safe" I don't think and due to several circumstances we ended up at the hospital and later with a csection.

I want my future children to be born at home. I feel this will be the most comfortable place for me to labor, especially now that I've already experienced labor once and I know how I felt. How can I ease dh's mind about birthing at home? What are some things I can say to help him feel comfortable enough with my choice to be of help to me in labor?

Thanks!

[pbk]

The single best thing I did was insist that DH come with me to the intital meet and chat interview appointment with my DEMs. After talking with them for an hour and discussing any and all fears that he had, he could tell that they were professionals that had my best interests at heart, not just some hippy-dippy women.

It also helped to remind him that *I* was the one giving birth, and that decision was ultimately mine. I gave him the option of proving to me that hospital birth was safer (which I knew he couldn't do), and told him that unless he was willing to do the research so that he could discussion this intelligently with me, I would take his feeling into consideration, but I would be making the decision I felt most comfortable with. This was before he met with the midwives. Once he met them, he still had some small concerns, but was at peace with the idea of homebirth.

Brenda, mama to Abigail, Isabella (HBAC) and Vincent (HBAC)

[Juelie's Mom]

What is your dh's reason for not wanting a homebirth? I'm assuming its the "safety" fear.

My dh was born at home also and so I got a ton of support from him, so I can't really relate, but I know how wonderful home birth is and I'd encourage anyone who is interested to seriously consider it.

I think the most important thing for a birthing woman is a sound mental and emotional state. Without that things can go seriously awry. Maybe encourage him to do some research or talk to other people who have birthed at home.

If you do choose to have a home birth I would highly suggest hiring a doula, especially with an apprehensive hubby. Our doula was a fantastic contribution.

Its really a wonderful thing. Good luck!

Holly

[Chelly2003]

Tell him to read Ina-May's guide to Childbirth first, and then you'll talk!

Good Luck
Chelly

[t-elaine]

What really helped my dh was first of all shariong with him the statistics on HB safety...plus talking withthe midwives...then meeting other fathers whose wives had HBs...Now he is THE HB advocate! He will tell anyone when he gets the chance that HB is the way to go!