eclipse
03-09-2006, 11:16 PM
I'm having an issue with my kids that I could really use some advice on. My five year old son is one of those kids who is always ON - loves to be the center of attention, talks a mile a minute, is bright to the point that I think he could probably be classified as "gifted." He is also very spirited/high needs/sensitive/explosive at times. My 2 3/4 year old daughter is mellow, quiet (though she has a huge vocabulary), imaginative, and easily overwhelmed by stronger personalities.
My problem is that Ds constantly interrupts conversations that Dh or I are having with Dd. He also jumps in and answers any question that I try to ask her - be it how something makes her feel, what letter she is looking at, what sound an animal makes, etc. Then, when he does this, she tends to shut down and look to him to continue the conversation for her, which he gladly does. I feel like she is being lost underneath his personality and boisterousness. I've tried explaining to Ds *why* she needs to answer for herself, etc. (Like, "Rhiannon really wants to learn to read letters, and she's having a hard time learning when you don't let her think up answers for herself") etc, but it doesn't seem to help. I admit that sometimes I get frustrated and send him out of the room, which isn't helpful in dealing with his behavior, but at least lets me get a few minutes to talk to Dd one on one. I've also tried getting him involved in some other activity that he can do alone while I work with Dd on learning whatever she's interested in learning at the moment, but he'll even yell things from other rooms in order to get in on the conversation (which is actually a little funny, if I do say so myself :lol ).
Anyhow, I'm wondering if anyone here has any suggestions on how to deal with this. I really feel like Dd is being short changed by this, especially since she is the middle child, squished between the new baby (who needs a lot of attention) and DS1 who DEMANDS a lot of attention. I find myself counting the months until he can go to kindergarten in September, just to be able to talk calmly with DD, and I hate feeling that way.
My problem is that Ds constantly interrupts conversations that Dh or I are having with Dd. He also jumps in and answers any question that I try to ask her - be it how something makes her feel, what letter she is looking at, what sound an animal makes, etc. Then, when he does this, she tends to shut down and look to him to continue the conversation for her, which he gladly does. I feel like she is being lost underneath his personality and boisterousness. I've tried explaining to Ds *why* she needs to answer for herself, etc. (Like, "Rhiannon really wants to learn to read letters, and she's having a hard time learning when you don't let her think up answers for herself") etc, but it doesn't seem to help. I admit that sometimes I get frustrated and send him out of the room, which isn't helpful in dealing with his behavior, but at least lets me get a few minutes to talk to Dd one on one. I've also tried getting him involved in some other activity that he can do alone while I work with Dd on learning whatever she's interested in learning at the moment, but he'll even yell things from other rooms in order to get in on the conversation (which is actually a little funny, if I do say so myself :lol ).
Anyhow, I'm wondering if anyone here has any suggestions on how to deal with this. I really feel like Dd is being short changed by this, especially since she is the middle child, squished between the new baby (who needs a lot of attention) and DS1 who DEMANDS a lot of attention. I find myself counting the months until he can go to kindergarten in September, just to be able to talk calmly with DD, and I hate feeling that way.