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BohoMama
03-12-2006, 05:39 AM
My son Andrej has recently started using a disrespectful tone of voice. I think he's picked it up from other kids in the preschool. It is a particular Czech type of sassy voice that I think American kids don't use (they have other disrespectful tones) but Andrej uses it in both languages. I have tried explaining that I don't like the "ugly" tone of voice, and I want to hear his nice voice. He says that he understands, but the "ugly" voice seems to come out more than the nice voice these days. I keep prompting him "use your nice voice," and "ask me nicely" and sometimes model the ugly tones I don't like "Andrej, please don't say 'MUHMAAAAAH' to me, say Mama."

I think that other kids use this tone of voice when adults allow it, and that they use it amongst themselves. It is artificially deep, the last syllables of words are elongated, and the general tone is as of exasperation with somebody who is unbelievably dense. When he speaks this way, he also uses commanding verbs that adults use with children (in Czech) but that kids aren't supposed to use with adults ("MAZEJ!" "DELEJ!" etc.) I never use these verb forms with him when I speak Czech, and neither do his teachers. Andrej says that other kids don't use this tone with the teachers.

What to do?




3happygirls
03-12-2006, 03:22 PM
Same problem here with my 3-1/2 yr. old girl! I get so tired of reminding..."MAY I have a drink, please", etc. Also, she is answering, "No, you don't", "Yes, you do", "I don't have to" to EVERYTHING!! Even the slightest statement will cause her to reply in disagreement! Any suggestions? The talking to her or modeling isn't working.

mamaduck
03-12-2006, 04:36 PM
With a 3 yo -- I think I'd probably try to play games with it. Mirror that tone in your response to him so that he gets the message without the correction, can smile about it, but is still aware of how he sounded.

With an older child (older than 6 or so) I found it easier to "correct" by asking point blank for a better tone of voice. I think its just so difficult for smaller child to regulate their tone -- just using *words* to express themselves is still a relatively new feat.