Chilbirth ed & homebirth

[JenMidwife]

For those of you planning homebirth (or have in the past), do/did your midwives recommend that you take childbirth ed classes privately or did your midwives sort of do a little childbirth ed @ each of your prenatals, making actual classes irrellevant?

Mine really encourage their clients to do seperate classes. I'm not sure what we're going to do... since I've studied midwifery & have done a lot of personal growth & reflection type classes/retreats, I would only be doing the CBE classes for the social aspect (to meet other preggie parents-to-be). DH & I are very bonded about this baby, so I don't think the experience of doing classes together would really bring us any "closer". He's really Mr. Go-with-the-flow & is not anxious at all about labor, so I'm not sure that he'd really get that much out of the classes either.

Any advice? Thanks!

[Glittergal]

well, mine didn't require i take it with my daughter but highly recommended it. i personally wasn't interested - i was a certified cbe and in midwifery school and just felt like i wasn't going to get much out of classes. plus i always had this sense that i would be great at birthing (not to brag!) and never had any worries or fears. i had experienced ridiculous amounts of pain as a marathon runner and crew rower, so wasn't worried about that. my friend did lend me her hypnobirthing tapes and i listened to the affirmations every day, but did not actually do the hypnobirthing. i think i'd probably do hypnobirthing or birthworks though, if i had to take a class, or felt like i needed one.

[Ursula Rose]

my midwives conduct a 9 week pre-birth class and a 3 week post-birth class for clients. ours starts on 4/2. the class isn't required but it's our first and we want to go. i don't think it'll bring dh and i closer, but i actually want to learn more and spend more time with our midwives.

jen, it seems like you should learn a little more about the types of classes available before you make your decision. (maybe you know all about them already.) as always, trust your gut.

[JenMidwife]

Thanks Ursula Rose & Glittergal, that's really helpful.

[tatgurl]

even though you have studied midwifery it might be nice to take a class to learn about coping techniques, relaxation, etc. with your partner. I found it very nice to have the time to spend learning together and practicing positions, massage, relaxation together with a teacher to give tips and suggestions.

[peilover010202]

I agree with tatgurl - I found it really helpful to learn coping techniques, relaxation methods, etc. And, it gve dh a chance to learn about each stage and what to expect and what to expect me to need in terms of help with coping. Dh learned a lot about where to apply pressure during back labor, learned my fave relaxation technique, etc. And, I didn't have to REMIND him during labor. It was his job to ensure I stayed calm.

Without that class, no matter how sincere I was to have a natural birth - I don't know how successful I would have been without his knowledge and guidance throughout.

If you feel comfortable with all aspects of birth, maybe it would be helpful to teach your partner about each stage/coping techniques so that he's as well prepared as you are? GL!

[veganf]

My midwife actually told me not to waste my time!!
I'm glad, because I seriously think that anything I was "taught" to do during labor would have gone straight out the window when it actually started. I developed my own coping mechanism that I couldn't have predicted beforehand, and it worked really well for me.
Then my second labor was totally different, and all I could say was that I'm so glad I was at home and alone at the time because I jumped around like a crazy person until I was pushing which was when everyone arrived anyhow.

My father used to brag about how my mother never took any classes or read any books. She just got to the hospital, said she wanted no drugs or anything, and asked what to do. They told her what to do to relax her body, she did it, and one of the nurses said something like, "It actually worked! I've never had a mother actually listen to me before!" And she had a quick and easy delivery back in 70's happily with no interventions.
I truly think that your mindset and trust in your body's ability has everything to do with how successful you'll be at coping with the discomfort of labor. And of course it's very important to find a care provider who also trusts in your body to do its job too.

I read just about every birth book under the sun, and it was great to hear every perspective. But we're all individuals, and I don't think any class can prepare you for what your individual labor will be like, or how best to deal with it. (As for husbands, that's another story!!)

- Krista

[JenMidwife]

tatgurl & peilover010202- what "brand" of classes did you use (Bradley, Birthworks, Lamaze, etc- there's so much out there!)?

Krista, yeah I'm feeling a lot like you did. Glad to hear the no classes option can work too. Thanks for your thoughts. What do you mean by "As for husbands, that's another story!!" Any advice for helpgin hubby?

Jen :)

[veganf]

What do you mean by "As for husbands, that's another story!!" Any advice for helpgin hubby?

LOL. Well, a class would have been the only way to make my husband actually learn something about birth. He wouldn't read any of the books I got him (specifically for dads), would barely listen to anything I tried to read to him, wouldn't watch any birth shows/videos (because the sight of blood and people in pain made him squirm like a maggot), etc. He swore he was probably going to pass out when it was time for me to give birth.

But you know what? When the time came, he was so helpful (I am a "don't touch me, don't talk, don't walk...but don't leave the room!" kind of person when I'm in labor), and he got me whatever I said I needed, held my leg up in the air for an hour and a half while I tried to push on my side (which didn't work, and I moved to squatting/birthstool position for the birth), he wanted to see the hair on the baby's head with a flashlight when I started to push, wiped poop during pushing, and even though he wasn't familiar with babies he took care of every baby care need for the first 3 days (except for breastfeeding obviously!) until I felt ready to get up and do stuff again (but forget about other domestic tasks, I had to rewash the laundry, etc.!)

So what I'm saying is that if you are a very hands-on type person when you are in pain, making your husband go to a class might be the only way to get him to learn about birth. And sometimes it's good for them to hear it from someone else, and somehow it sounds more official when it's a "class".
But I think most partners will just "get it" when labor starts and you need their help.

- Krista

[JenMidwife]

Hehehe, thanks Krista!!!

[peilover010202]

tatgurl & peilover010202- what "brand" of classes did you use (Bradley, Birthworks, Lamaze, etc- there's so much out there!)?Jen :)

Jen, I took Bradley classes. And, I agree with Krista. I think everyone's coping mechanisms will be different and may not necessarily be taught in class. In fact, the one that worked for me was the one they taught in class that I KNEW wouldn't work for me :lol But, I'm so glad we practiced it anyway. Dh could easily lead me through the visual image, describe smells, the movement of water washing over my body, the sun, the warmth, etc (mine was a visual image of floating in the ocean during our honeymoon in Mexico.)

But, if you don't want to attend a class, then buying the book and practicing with your partner would be helpful.

My dh was like Krista's. He wouldn't read any of the books, he told me he wanted the "clif-notes version" from me. But, it doesn't really work that way. I wanted dh to be pretty hands-on during the whole labor up until right after transition when the nurses wanted me to breathe through contractions when my body was bearing down (something I had no control over) because the dr hadn't arrived yet. That made me tense and I didn't want anyone to touch me.

[mimi!]

We took a class, and dh really benefited from the birthing video which had close-up vaginal shots of the stretching and the head emerging. Well, now to think of it, I think this helped me too, as I was still shocked to see what I looked like when the midwife placed a mirror in view of my bottom to see ds' head crowning - really encourages you to push more!!!!!!!!:wink

Anyways, it did help dh who thought he might not make it at times as I was in great pain (no meds, fairly fast, but back labour). The midwife was busy sweeping my cervix to encourage dialiation, while my loving dh:love had the ultimate privilidge of pressing my hemmorhoids (sp?) to my bottom. At the time, I was wondering what he was doing, but not fully aware of all that was going on. Afterwards I was a little mortified knowing what he had done, and in full pain of a lot of piles:( Anyways, imo, you gotta prepare your dh as best as you can, you never know what'll happen! I hope he doesn't have to do that again!

(As for the hemmorhiods, I'm paranoid this time, but the ND says keep taking fish oil (which I did not have last time) and we're doing some homeopathic liver support, which she says will help that problem too.)

[the_lissa]

No, my midwives do not care if I take classes or not. They do encourage their clients to read and ask questions.

[JenMidwife]

Thanks again everyone! Great to read what's worked for all of your & hear the opinions of your midwives.

[Kindermama]

I decided to have a homebirth last time at 30 weeks. I felt informed and prepared by the time I walked into her door but I felt the most prepared on every level after I went to the recommended hypnobirthing sessions....what a difference...I felt so ready after that and I was and had a beautiful homebirth with NO FEAR!

[marymamma]

We took a "Birthing from Within" class which was based on the book last time. It was helpful to learn different relaxation and coping methods, but you could get all of that from the book. My midwife this time has a required class that she teaches. I suppose we will go since it is included, but I don't expect to learn too much new stuff. I did just give birth a little over a year ago, so the experience is still pretty fresh in my mind :)