Interviewing a doula?

[mom2noah]

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post this in so feel free to move it.

I am in the process of searching for a birth doula and I was hoping for a little help. I have gotten two names recommended to me by a friend, and I also found 4 names on the DONA website. When I contact the women what kind of questions should I be asking?

A little background: This is my second child. With my first I wanted to go natural but ended up with an epidural and a rough delivery. I blame myself mostly because I didn't advocate well for myself and lacked confidence. DH and I are taking Bradley classes but I think I will need someone else there as well in case he forgets how to help me.

Thank you.

[Amydoula]

http://www.dona.org/mothers/how_to_hire_a_doula.php

[doula and mom]

For me, it wasn't really what I asked doulas (when I was interviewing them), it was more testing to see whether our personalities "meshed" well.

With my twins, a friend from church offered to "be there" during the birth (at the time, I didn't even know what a doula was) and I really liked her and she had had twins and was very knowledgable and although she was much older than me, she was very respectful and helpful and happy to help.

With my #3, we had moved across the country, otherwise I would have asked my friend from above. I interviewed 9 doulas and didn't feel comfortable with any of them. My husband and I took a "Birthing From Within" class given by a fairly busy doula, who had clients hiring her months in advance, and it turned out that the only time she didn't have a client was when I was due! So, fates intervened, and she was my doula.

Anyway, long story short, I say the most important thing is how YOU feel about the person you choose. I've only attended 4 births, I'm not certified yet, but from my client reviews, I'm a kickass doula. :D

[teacup]

I think they tend to weed themselves out! I called a handful of doulas and got pretty immediate reactions from how quickly (or slowly) they responded and how they sounded over the phone. I then had a face-to-face appointment with three doulas and one of them said constant negatives things about our hospital. It was a major turnoff because that seemed to be her focus. I felt reasonably comfortable (as comfy as you can feel with the possibility of a near stranger seeing you at your most vulnerable moment) with the two others and had to choose between them.

Having that face-to-face time was key. Getting an idea of how she interacted with me and my SO really gave me an idea of how she'd be during the l&d.

I went in armed with the dona questions but conversation just flowed once we were together. That also will tell you about your potential doula: What does she focus on? Ask her about her kids.

Good luck! If you go with your gut, you'll find the right one.

[courtenay_e]

I agree with PP's. You can have a trainee who's just intuitively good (and who knows her stuff from her bookwork) and with whom you click...or someone who's been doing it a while who just...doesn't...quite...do it for you. Know what I mean? The dona questions are really good jumping off points. Also, being sure that you and your SO agree together what you want out of said doula before you meet her...and being sure that that meshes with what she sees as her job--which should be as much or as little support in whatever area you need. But see what she brings you in the way of printed info, in the way of conversation, etc. Do you click like old friends? Is it good after you've warmed up? This person is going to see you naked...in more way than one. You want to be sure that you get along well!

[BirthFree]

I think not only fit (the good feel with them) is important as well as some of their experience. I say this b/c I know in the past year I have learned A LOT about being a doula, how to really help - how to include the partners without stepping on toes or not being sensitive enough to the relationship Mom and partner already have, etc. I don't think I was a bad doula before (I give it my all 100%), but I am much better now. ((I didn't start charging until I felt competent (about 6m ago) so that was good too)).

Some people are excellent on the phone, some people are better in person - people do weed themselves out but if you don't mind the personal interview you might get a better idea of who they are. I actually know an excellent doula that I'd never hire if I talked to her on the phone, but she is awesome. So I don't know, maybe just meet with who you feel might be the most 'possible' and go from there.

What I'd ask if I were interviewing:
*What was your training like (non-organization trained doulas can be just as good or better than DONA, ALACE doulas)?
*How long have you been attending births as a doula?
*What types of births have you attended (VBAC, induction, homebirth, waterbirth, etc.)?
*What number of the births you've attended have been cesareans (and ask for a little background on those)?
*What are your thoughts on assisting Mom/partner in birth (you want them to assist you both, take the lead from you and respect all of your choices (even if they would make (have made) different ones))?
*What are your fees?
*Do you have a back-up doula? Do you have any Moms due around my date? (I've had two Moms 3w apart deliver on the same day and I made it to both no problem (I've heard this is near-never happening, but it did me) - this gives you an idea of possibly needing to use their back-up).
*Can I meet your back-up doula in person before my due date?
*What is your policy re: dilation and support? (Do they come/stay when you need them or will they go back home if you're at the hospital at 1cm (but still need their assistance)? I know of people who do this.).
*What pain relief options do you carry in your doula bag or use on location?
*Do you have experience supporting a posterior birth?
*What suggestions would you have for me as I prepare for a natural birth after a somewhat-traumatic previous birth that resulted in a medicated birth (having done this same thing myself, not only does physical prep. need to be made (and pushing talked through in detail so it's not so scary and overwhelming), but emotional healing from the past birth)?

Ummm... I think that's the big ones I'd ask. I just hired a doula for our birth in Aug. (I love her and so does my DH) - it'll be my *first* doula birth and I'm beyond thrilled. I can't wait - I know it's going to help so much (and I've taken doula training, been a midwife assistant for almost a year and done Bradley with DH (and had 2 children) but a doula is a doula is a doula and there's nothing like them.
~Julie
ps. Sorry for the book.

[mom2noah]

Thank you everyone for your awesome responses!

[NMacfarlane]

Findadoula.com has lots of great information on hiring a doula, questions to ask, how you choose one etc, as well as info on choosing caregivers and hospitals. You can also use the search engine to find doulas near you.

www.findadoula.com

Nikki Macfarlane