PLEASE remind me again why I do this...

[TeaBag]

I am so sick of no sleep. Just plain old fed up. My oldest didnt' sleep well as an infant, but he started sleeping well at about 3-3.5 yrs. My two youngest are 2.5 and 3.5 and still no signs of sleeping through. Occasionally, I will have one lucky night, but for the most part, I'm up 3-4-5-6 times Each Night.

Yes, there are issues in the household that make them more clingy during the day as well as at night, but WTH will it take to get some sleep? I was up with one or the other for 3 hours in the middle of the night last night. :bawl Dd1 sleeps in the family bed, dd2 sleeps in her full size matress on the floor. Both want to sleep with me, but *I* can't sleep with both of them. I tried it for the, I don't know, 1000th time last night and ended up with my arm asleep and numb because one was sleeping on it, and couldn't move because the other was scooted up so close behind me that I was trapped. Unless I was willing to wake one of them to move them, and I sure wasn't willing to do that after being up for 3 hours.

I guess I'm just looking for support. We've tried every version of sleeping I can think of, nothing works unless they are with me and I lie there raging in my head because my arm was numb and hurting and I couldnt move without wakign them and I'm just so freaking tired. I'm exhausted. And there doesn't seem to ever be an end in sight.

I *know* that it won't last forever. Rationally. Logically. I know this But it doesn't help when you're averaging 4-5 hours of sleep per night, and have been doing that for almost 3 yrs straight. I'm just so damn sick of being so damn tired.

[mrsfatty]

Do you have a partner/spouse?

[TeaBag]

Do you have a partner/spouse?

He's deployed until July sometime. He's been gone since the first of last July.

[Hatteras Gal]

:hug

[TeaBag]

:hug

Oh, Thank you So Much, rubyred! Some much needed support! :happyt:

[Hatteras Gal]

You know I do feel for you. If I had the magic solution, both of our children would sleep all night long!

[lauren]

I can well remember these feelings...not only that, I am feeling them again! I have a 10 yr old, an 8 year old, and now a 15 mo. old. When the older two were young I thought it would never end. When the 2nd was a baby, the oldest went through a year of night terrors. We were up all night it seemed. Finally, they both did sleep through the night.. let me see...at age 3.5 and about 3, respectively, except for the occasional nightmare. When I got pregnant with #3, the first thing I thought of was 'back to sleepless nights!" Well, luckily I do know it ends, but that doesn't make it easier!! I try to remember that non-co-sleepers are often up half the night also, but struggling against it all night with attempts to get kids to sleep alone. I'm not sure I have any tips...I do know both kids tended to sleep better once they were in their own beds, which we did gradually. We also never refused them when they did need to come in in the middle of the night, so it became less of a power struggle I guess.

Hugs to you. I know it is hard!!!

[Mybabymommy]

when do they sleep? I know they must get it sometime LOL

Can you flip your day so that you sleep when they do during the day and than stay up later during the night?

KWIM?

[Kira's mom]

I feel for you so much.It's just so hard to function well without sleep.Is there any chance someone could take them to the park or on an outing for just a few hours, so you could get a much needed nap?Once they fall asleep is there another room you could sneak off to and just sleep alone for a while?If you could just get one decent night of sleep I know you'd feel lots better.I am sending hugs your way to give you the strength to get through this...somehow you WILL get through this!

[TeaBag]

Thanks Mamas. I do try to rest during the day, but *if* one happens to take a nap, the other doesn't. And last night was especially bad, usually, it's getting up to go to the other bed to lay with the other one who has woken up. For example. A "normal" night. DD2 goes to bed sometime between 7:30-8:30. DD1 goes to bed soon after that. Then it's ds' time for stories, snuggles and humming. He eventually goes to sleep and then it's my time. I give myself 30 minutes to clean/do laundry/etc and then whatever isn't done gets left for the next day. I spend some time here, knitting, whatever. I'm in bed by 10 most nights. I go to bed in the "family bed" with dd1. Sometime between 11:30-12:30, dd2 wakes "Mommy...........Mommy...............MOMMY!" I go to her, lay with her, try to convince her that she doesn't need to nurse. She either does go right back to sleep or she doesn't. Then, soon after that (no clock in her room, for obvious reasons), dd1 will wake because she's not snuggled right up against me anymore. "Mommy. I want you Right NOW" Get up, stumble back to that room. Lay down with her. She either asks for her cup of water or goes right back to sleep. I lay there for a few minutes, waiting to make sure she's asleep...get up and go pee. :rolleyes Get back into bed. Dd2 wakes again. Repeat the process. Sometime during the night, dd1 decides she'd be better off just coming into dd2's room and sleeping with us there....at which point, I am pinned between them and cannot move for fear of waking them. Once in a very great while, I can sneak out and go sleep in the FB for anywhere from 10-30 minutes alllll allllooonnnneeee. <sigh> until one of them calls for me again.

And that's a good night. When no one is sick. no one is teething. Ds isn't having a bad dream or needing his feet rubbed (he's flat-footed and his feet hurt at night a LOT), or whatever. It's getting quite old. I know it will pass, really, truly, I do. I know that they are only this age once. I know a lot of this is because they miss their Daddy. And when he's home, it's not as bad, he sleeps with one and I sleep with the other and we only switch when one or the other needs to nurse.

I'm just tired. Thanks for letting me vent. :D

[Kira's mom]

hope i didn't miss something but what if dd1 slept next to you and dd2 slept at the foot of the bed and then the next night they switched?or can either one of the girls cuddle up with ds? Does this make sense?There's just not quite enough of you to go around and when daddy isn't there i'm sure they need twice as much from you.Hope it gets better real soon.

[CalBearMama]

Since I only have one child, I'm not speaking from experience here, but a few things occurred to me.

It sounds like you're doing a lot of running from room to room at night, which would definitely make me crazy. Have you tried putting a mattress for DD2 on the floor in your room, rather than in a separate room, so at least she would be closer if she needed you? I'm sure you don't want DD2 to wake up DD1, but if DD2 is calling out for you loudly from another room, everyone's probably being woken up anyway. At least she won't have to yell to get your attention if she's right there.

Your girls might be old enough to understand if you have a heart-to-heart talk with them and tell them that you need to sleep at night in order to be a happy mom and do all of the fun things with them that they love during the day. Perhaps you can have them sleep together in one bed in your room, with you in another bed, and tell them that they are each other's sleep buddies and should look to one another for hugs and cuddles during the night. You could tell them that of course you will be there if they need you, and that they can get into your bed with you if they want, but they should try not to wake you up because you need your rest.

[kyangel80]

:hug to you APMom98

I also feel your pain:down I am struggling right now too and I am so tired of having my arm asleep all night and feeling as if I'm in a train wreck when I wake after barely getting 4 or 5 hours of sleep. I posted early today about how my ds is basically ripping my nipple off all night and harrassing everyone else in the family bed all night and interfering with their sleep as well. I think that the pp gave some good advice about putting the bed on the floor in your room. I hope your room is bigger than mine. We have a king size on the floor and there is about a foot on either side and about 3 ft at the end:( Very small room. But I tried to talk my girls into sharing a bed when dd2 got rid of her crib a month ago. I thought they could be each others cuddle buddy. Unfortunately dd1 is almost 7 and she had her heart set on bunk beds. Now dd2 just get's up at her will and joins the family bed:innocent Oh well, maybe I'll get more sleep next year.:lol Yeah right!! dd2 is weaned so I can't even imagine what the heck I would do right now if she and ds were nursing at night:nut You are a strong momma doing this all alone right now while your dh is deployed. I do have dh help out at night when I am nursing ds and dd needs something or ds1 or dd1 need something. I think talking to the girls for a few days in a row to really let it sink in that you are very sleepy will help. Role play works with kids well IMO. Talk to them about how it feels when they are tired and sad b/c they are tired and let them know that you experience this too. Let them know that night time is for resting and if they really need something then you can assist but otherwise they should get some sleep too. I know some people will disagree, but I think a special blanket or toy to sleep with can give comfort some during the night so the frequency of waking will be less. Hang in there.