Babies/toddlers falling asleep on their own

[turtlemama77]

Is this "skill" a huge cause of worry for anyone? It seems I've seen a lot of posts (here and elsewhere...mostly elsewhere) about mamas wanting their babies/toddlers to fall asleep with no assistance. I'll admit I may have thought about it in the earlier days, but right now I still rock/nurse my dd to sleep for naps and bedtime and lately haven't worried about trying to teach her to fall asleep on her own. I just kind of assume that she'll do it on her own when she's ready. It has never worked for me to try to lay dd down and have her drift peacefully off to sleep on her own. Am I living in a dream world and should maybe think about encouraging her to try this? Or is it not a big deal?

I guess I need some reassurance. Things are going well for us in the sleep area, and I don't want to fix it if it isn't broken, kwim?

[LotusBirthMama]

I had no issue with my DD not falling asleep by herself. I figured she would at some point and in the mean time I should enjoy cuddling her/nursing/rocking what have you. Now she goes to bed in her own bed, I read her a story, lay with her for about 5 minutes, and tell her goodnight. I go downstairs, putter around, and in about 15 minutes she's asleep. It doesn't stress her out, she doesn't cry, she just rolls over and goes to sleep. But I never encouraged this behaviour. It happened by mistake. I had to pee really bad and told DD that I would leave the light on a little bit and be right back. By the time I got up there she was asleep and we've been doing it that way ever since. Don't stress mama!

Now, she's nearly 3, so not a "little" baby...but even if I still needed to hold her that would be fine...She still comes to my bed in the night to cuddle!

[KimProbable]

I still stay with my son (5 1/2 years old) until he asleep most nights! I look at it more as an opportunity to re-connect and have a quiet time together than as me needing to be with him. If something comes up and I can't lay down with him for a bit, sometimes he'll fall asleep on his own but normally he'll stay awake and wait for his snuggle.

These days bedtime is often me climbing into bed with both kids. My son snuggles up to his baby sister while she nurses and I think it's the most precious thing ever. Last night he curled up behind her and murmured "My baby bear" into her hair. Too cute! Once he's asleep my husband carries him into his own bed.

[dace101]

I can count on one hand the number of times dc has fallen asleep unassisted. Those few times have been without tears or fuss, but the norm for us is to hold dc to sleep or all go to bed at the same time (we have co-slept since birth).

I consider sleeping without help to be the same as using the potty without help (although we began - and were successful at - beginning ec/ipt at 9mths as soon as dc was able to walk). When they are ready, they will naturally make it part of their life. I think it is far too stressful on everyone to force something like that, and possibly even instill bad sleep associations as a result.

If it works for you, I wouldn't worry about other peoples apprehension about it. Some people enjoy the closeness that is gone too soon. Some people can't wait to have their children be independent of them. Personally, I think the expectation for babies and toddlers to fall asleep on their own is ridiculous (after all I spent 9 months nurturing and "holding" my unborn baby, it would be completely barbaric of me to banish an infant to their own crib/room instead of offering that same comfort - although I understand not everyone feels that way). Do what you feel is right for yourself and your child and pooh-pooh anyone who expects or thinks otherwise of what works for you and yours!

[alegna]

I have not one single worry about that. Most of the time dd still nurses down :shrug But it's not unheard of to go to bed and just have her go to sleep.

-Angela

[mrsfatty]

So get this, my EXTREMELY high-needs baby (nine months old) kept laying on the floor around bedtime--but still wanted to play...so we let him continue to play by himself...and eventually he just laid on the floor. So my husband picked him up and placed him in the crib (we recenly switched from bedsharing to cosleeping--with baby in the crib in our room) and my husband tells my my son smiled at him and cuddled up with his mattress and fell asleep--without our assistance--without a peep--NO CRYING!!!

Now, this has only happened once (the rest of the time we either have to feed him or rock him or bounce him to sleep)...but it gives me hope that my son will EVENTUALLY, when HE'S ready, fall asleep by himself! :)

[la mamita]

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[tinuviel_k]

Denali falling asleep alone was not something I ever really pushed for. I never really worried about it: I figured that when she was ready she would learn to fall asllep easily on her own.
But boy was I suprised when it turned out she was more than ready for this at 2 years old!

One day at nap time, (when I usually laid down with her and rubbed her back till she fell asleep) she was just kicking and squirming and thrashing so hard. I could tell she was soooo tired, but she just wouldn't/couldn't wind down. After about 1/2 hour of this I got frusterated, gave her a kiss, and left. I kept my ears open; I wanted to come back to her if she'd started to cry. I about 10 minutes later I realized she hadn't cried at all, and I poked my head in the room. Asleep! And all by herself!
It was like she was unable to settle down with me in the room, but as soon as I left she got the rest she needed. I was so surpised, and figured it was a fluke.

She started doing this consistantly at nap time: she just seemed to fall asleep faster and more peacefully if I left the room after a couple of minutes. Six months later I tried it at bedtime, too (we co-sleep). I kissed her good night, told her I was going to the living room, and she was asleep happily within five minutes!

It amazed me how she was signaling so much that she was ready and needed to fall asleep on her own. It certainly took my husband and I by suprise!

[Red Sonja]

My 18 month old DS will now fall asleep on his own. We exclusively coslept until he was 16 months, then he started becoming restless in the family bed. He was ready to sleep by himself so I started nursing him to sleep and then moving him into his crib, where he would sleep peacefully through the night. (He nightweaned on his own at about 15 months.) Now at night he will nurse and then sit back up in the family bed and play and crawl around chasing the cats. I'll take him into his room, tuck him into his bed and kiss him goodnight (with him wide awake) and from there he will gently drift off to sleep on his own. That is now his preferred method of going to sleep. :bigeyes This is a complete 180 from how he used to be, but he was ready and he definitely let us know. I never expected him to leave the family bed that young but he was ready.

[jrose_lee]

Yeah, I wouldn't expect my ds to fall asleep on his own for quite a while. A father I know said that even when his children were around 8-10 yrs he would still read to them and let them fall asleep snuggled by him then carry them to their beds. He loved it! :) Having them fall asleep on their own is over-rated I think. You can make some good memories cuddling together.

[earthflower]

seems like ds has been putting himself down for naps and bedtime since he was about 10mos old!

[Hazelnut]

I want my baby to at least fall asleep easier or fall asleep on his own because I'm sick of ignoring my almost-three-year-old to rock him to sleep. And then he often doesn't sleep very long so I end up doing this like3-4 times a day. It's tough. DS1 began falling asleep on his own at about 12 months. I would set him down after our routine and he'd simply close his eyes and sleep.

[northcountrymamma]

Laurel is a great sleeper once she gets to sleep, but she is not always so convinced that she needs a nap or that it is in fact bedtime. She told me tonite that the sun was just hiding behind the trees and that it is daytime!

I just usually read a story, sing a couple songs and say a little poem that we know, lay there beside her for about 5-10 minutes and tell her that I have things to do while she sleeps but if she needs me I am right outside her door if she calls my name. Some days she calls me nonstop, others she says ok mumma nite nite. I figure it will pass and she will eventually just know that sleep is emminent and do it on her own. I also try to recollect my own childhood and remind myself how hard it is to fall asleep when you just aren't really convinced you are tired!!!

I recently read a mantra on here...
"This too will pass!!!"
Until it does, I just love the time we are in!