Rough Night Last Night

[lisac77]

Argh. First off, let me just say that I love cosleeping with my son, I feel it is best, blah, blah. I'm in need of some insights/suggestions, however.

DS is 2.75 and some days he naps, others he doesn't. When he does not nap, he goes down to bed about 2-3 hours earlier to compensate for not having napped. OK. Thing is, on no nap days, he also tends to wake up about 5 hours after he goes to sleep, and then he screams his head off for no apparent reason and can't be calmed without the whole house getting out of bed, waking up completely, and staying up for an hour or so. A number of different things can wake him up, last night it was me going to bed at about 2 AM, he woke up and cried for almost three hours. Sigh. We finally got him down around 5 AM... DH leaves for work at 6, and I didn't go to sleep at all until then. So this is a problem for us.

I think the most frustrating thing about last night was the fact that I woke him up by coming to bed. I'm wondering if it might be time to transition him to his own bed to minimize this issue - it's not the first time it's happened.

Another factor is that DS gets a lot of comfort by stroking me under my neck. I can't stand it. Seriously. It makes me feel like ants are crawling all over my body (I have SID). I was able to put up with it for a long time, but now he's really into digging his nails into my skin, and it hurts, so I have to ask him to stop, which upsets him more. I've tried substituting loveys, etc., but it hasn't worked.

If anyone has any insights about this I would really appreciate them. It's very frustrating for all of us, and I'd much rather have a peaceful night's sleep for all of us.

[Bertana]

Hi mamma, sorry to hear about your tough nights... I don't have much advice as I'm going through something similar myself. My DD (19 mo) will wake up for 2-3 hrs in the middle of the night. I've been wondering if its night terrors (in fact I recently posted about it here), because she appears to be almost scared or upset about coming to our bed after we pick her up from her crib. For over a yr we've been starting out in her crib then bringing her to our bed when she woke up in the middle of the night so there's no reason for her to be so upset when we bring her to bed.

What we've done to help us survive this is that one parent takes her downstairs, and keeps her company until she's sleepy. Depending on how awake she is, we'll watch a soothing video, and/or try and give her some water or milk. Eventually we fall asleep on the sofa together. Not perfect but at least one parent gets sleep.

Unfortunately these types of issues make DH regret we never CIO'd, I have to keep reminding him this would happen even if we *had* CIO'd. Not that Mr Soft hearted could bear to have his darling DD cry for long...

{hugs}, I know how frustrating it can be when your child will not go back to sleep in the middle of the night, and you just KNOW they didn't get enough sleep.

Hope it all gets better soon for everyone!
-Ana

[angela&avery]

Personally, i would think about having a bed for him in your room? I coslept with my babies, but not as toddlers, so I dont generally sleep with my older children, unless they are sick or scared. If he is in another bed, your movement wont wake him, but he can be in your room so that the transition is smoother and you can still be close, if thats what you are looking for. I have a two year old and would consider only letting him sleep an hour in the evening when he passes out from no nap, as this is what my dd does too. Either that, or she wakes around 11pm, has a snack and i can get her back to bed by 12am. If he is regularly up in the middle of the night when he goes to bed so early, then I wouldnt let him nap that late or wake him after an hour. Its worth a good nights sleep to me.

[simonsmama]

first off :grouphug for you Lisa!

I came here to write a post almost exactly like yours, almost word for word. I don't mind cosleeping. Most nights, DS starts off in his own bed, and when he wakes up in the night, we put him in bed with us. Well, lately, he has been sleeping in his own bed for two hours, then comes into our bed, and wakes up hourly screaming his head off, I know he's not hungry, or hurt or anything, and nothing calms him down unless I get up, and take him out to the rocking chair to rock him. Last nigh was especially rough. It sucks because friday night he slept from 10:30pm to 6am! I was so excited, thinking "Now I will finally get some sleep!" but no, he went back to his regular sleeping habits the very next day. Will this ever end? I'm so tired that I don't have the patience to fool with him, or DH for that matter. My fuse is very short and everything near me seems flammable! :lol

sorry I don't have advice or anything, just needed to vent, and cry. *sigh*
~Ashley, sleepless in Cincinnati

[lisac77]

Thanks for all the hugs and support mamas!

We found the current cause of the nightwakings - he's cutting his two year molars, finally. He has a really hard time when he's teething, and the nightwaking while teething is perfectly normal for him.

Unfortunately it means less sleep for me..... hopefully it will be over soon.