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View Full Version : Oh, experienced ones, would you have done anything differently?




courtenay_e
03-18-2006, 04:15 PM
Okay, I've posted about this particular client a couple of times lately. She had a version about ten days ago, and then was kept over night the other night b/c her ctx were 4 min apart and she had show...then sent home after she refused pit the next morning.

Here's a bit of back story. Admits to getting pg to "get a guy to stay," and of course, he walked the day he found out. Has no support in the way of family but her 80 yr old grandmother. Works as a dancer at a bar, needs to get back to work asap to support herself and baby. Wanted me to be with her for the birth, but was very upfront about wanting any and all drugs as soon as she walked through the hospital doors. I did my best to educate her about side effects...she listened, considered, and decided on requesting the whole shebang. Nobody she knows but me has delivered without, and she has a total lack of confidence in her body and the process. We practiced relaxation to get her through as long as she could, and there is a tub and shower available in the birthing rooms, so I figured I could use those, as well, until the CNA got there.

Yesterday evening she'd been having ctx four minutes apart consistently for four days, with no cervical change. At all. She was even still posterior, no effacement. Got a call at about six pm that she had just stepped into the shower and she thought her water had broken. She had had an exam yesterday am, so I knew that she was still probably starting from square one. After her water had broken, her ctx were about two minutes apart, and stronger. I advised that she get back into the shower until I could get there, and that we'd go from there...she was still talking calmly through ctx, and watching a comedy central video--and reacting to it. She called me back as I was walking out the door to tell me that she had called the doc, and he wanted to see her at the hosp. So, I met her there instead. When I got there, she had been admitted...there was some meconium in the fluid, or the nurse would have sent her home. She was only fingertip, and still posterior, no effacement. I got her walking around, working on the birthing ball, etc for about an hour. During this time, her ctx continued to be about 2min apart, and were getting harder for her to concentrate through...and the baby's heartrate was not variable at all through the ctx. She stayed right around 155-160...the entire time. Nurse called the doc in, doc put mom on her side, and allowed her to roll every twenty minutes for an hour. Baby didn't seem to like that any better. And after another hour mom still had no cervical change (still in early labor, though, so I wasn't really expecting any)Doc started talking about CPD and failure to progress. I suggested that, as she had just had a version, perhaps the presentation wasn't optimal, and if we could help the baby move a little, maybe she'd be able to put more pressure on the cervix. And also that perhaps she was pinching the cord somewhere, and could we try hands and knees for 20 minutes? He got irritated (of course, god forbid I know anything about my job...), but said "Sure, go do your "doula thing," I'm going to go plan the c-section." Mom freaked out, was asking whether the dad had called or showed up (she'd called him on her way out the door to the hospital). Twenty minutes later, doc came in and suggested c-section. As baby had been in distress, mom hadn't been able to use the plethora of drugs she'd planned on, and while strapped to the bed had been more and more difficult to relax through ctx. I remained calm and steady, and answered all her questions...but saw that when the doc mentioned c-sec, that she seemed to like the idea, after all. She agreed to a section, as the baby hadn't responded to anything we tried to "wake her up." The minute the doctor left the room to prep the OR, she relaxed, the contractions got significantly stronger, the baby's heart rate went totally textbook variable. The doc did the section anyway.

My view on this, as soon as the mom asked where the dad was, was that she was waiting on his arrival to progress. When she realized that he wasn't going to see him there, she gave up and agreed to a section, rather than birthing vaginally with him there. When she came to a resolution to the "problem" of ctx with no coping mechanism she was willing or able to use (c-sec) she relaxed and went with the flow.

Today, she said if she'd had any idea it would hurt this bad, she never would have gone under the knife. :lol I could only sigh quietly and help her deal with the reality of taking care of a newborn by herself with an abdominal incision. The only real upside (besides a healthy baby, of course), was that,though planning to breastfeed up to the onset of labor, when she was rolling into the OR, she decided to bottle feed (maybe the only thing she felt she had under her control?). But, the second she saw/smelled the baby, she opened her gown and put her to the breast. Baby is a great nurser, and they seem to be doing that well!

I feel like I did my best with the circumstances I was given. I spent several hours with her on a few occasions, educating her as to her options and the repercussions of each option. I spent a lot of time with her on the phone. I supported her as best I could during labor, and during the section (1:20 am), and afterward, until the baby had had a few really good nursing sessions. I left when her grandmother got back to the hospital at about 8 o'clock this am. The entire time, the nursing staff was great, and was happy to see her with labor support. The doc was annoying, but I expected that, as he's been that way throughout the whole affair, and I didn't have an attitude with him, I was very calm and professional the entire time. I really was not surprised that the baby had meconium, as she'd had the version, and that is rather stressful...they really had to strong arm her to move her.

I'm glad mostly that baby was okay, and that mom seems to be recovering well, but I'd like to know what tools others may have used, or what you may have done differently to help prevent a section. As the baby seemed to be in valid distress (?) I really don't know what else I could have done, other than force mom to practice more relaxation techniques? :wink Any help would be appreciated. My goal is to do my best to keep the c-sec rate in this world as low as I can, so I'd like to learn from my experiences. I don't want to think that I "failed" her, but if I did, I'd like to learn from it, so that I can more readily help others. Thanks!




Ligmom
03-18-2006, 06:27 PM
:wave Hi :wave

Not a VERY experienced doula here (only 8 births so far), but I wanted to tell you that it sounds like you did an excellent job of giving this woman support. I really can't see anything you could have done to make the outcome different:shrug:. We have to work within the parameters of our clients' preferences and comfort levels, and it sounds like you did that very well:D :thumb

I'm sorry to hear that she had a C/S, but am so happy to hear that she is nursing her baby :)

You may not realize it, but you have already made a difference for this woman. I am sure she will look back on her birth and remember that you offered information without judging her, and support when she needed it most. Good for you! :hug

courtenay_e
03-18-2006, 06:46 PM
Thanks for responding, I just realized how long that post is! :blush
Thanks, too for the support. In general, I think I'm doing a fairly good job (clients seem to really think so, anyway!), but even though I knew I'd come upon one (c-section) sooner rather than later, I hate thinking that there might have been something I missed, you know. And I'm not usually one to second guess myself, my instincts, or my knowledge base...but it was SURGERY for birth. It just doesn't fit right! Thanks again.

saritabeth
03-18-2006, 07:33 PM
I am not 'very experienced' either...but I will give my .02 worth!

You did a great job supporting the woman! You offered her education, you stayed with her, you helped explain things. This was her birth. It sounds like she has so much going on in her life and didn't ever want a 'natural' birth experience. You listened to her, supported her, and did not judge her. That is our job!!! As doula's we do get to help women avoid interventions and unnecessary surgery only insofar as they are motivated and passionate about avoiding those things as well.

Its hard to see things go a way that you know they don't have to...but she isn't grieving the birth experience. She was loved and supported by you. Good job!

I find that the hardest births for me are being wholeheartedly supportive of things I don't agree/believe in. But, in that sphere, I really do not believe we are supposed to steer people to what we want...it is the hard part of the job for me.

courtenay_e
03-18-2006, 10:04 PM
Thank you, I agree with that. It is certainly our job to support a woman in the birth experience they want...it's hard for me to wrap my mind around why they would want it that way though. I guess it's called maturity, being able to support someone despite a difference in veiws. Hmmmm.

doula and mom
03-18-2006, 10:37 PM
ITA with the PP. (Wow, how much cyber-lingo can be used in one sentence? :lol )

It sounds to me like you did the best you could: you educated her, supported her during her pregnancy, and gave continuous support during her labor and afterwards. From what you wrote, I think she just wanted someone THERE with her, and didn't care about the rest of it. You did a great job of doing that.

As far as the rising c-section rate, think about what would have happened if she'd had an anterior baby: she would have had the epi/stadol/both at 2cm, labor would have stalled, she would have been put on pit... probably would have ended in a c-s anyway. At least she realized afterward how horrible it was! And I'm glad to hear she is bfing.

memiles
03-18-2006, 11:08 PM
[QUOTE=doula and mom]ITA with the PP. (Wow, how much cyber-lingo can be used in one sentence? :lol )

It sounds to me like you did the best you could: you educated her, supported her during her pregnancy, and gave continuous support during her labor and afterwards. From what you wrote, I think she just wanted someone THERE with her, and didn't care about the rest of it. You did a great job of doing that.

[QUOTE]

I'm struggling with this right now. I have several clients who are millitary moms with deployed husbands. I am finding out that they want a doula not to help them have a natural/unmedicated birth, or even to avoid a c/s, but simply because they don't want to be alone, and they don't have family in the area. I am doing my best to avoid judging them, while at the same time informing them of the risks of the interventions they actually want.

I came to the decision today, while stuck in traffic driving home from a prenatal where mom said "as long as I have an epidural, I don't really care much about the rest", that I can't make that decision for her. Her husband calls me "the woman we hired so you won't be alone", which is honestly my most important roll in her situation. If I can make them feel safe and loved during their births I will be doing my job, but I will be doing my best to inform and educate them along the way as well :)

BirthFree
03-19-2006, 01:20 AM
Yes, the above post - I agree totally. Our job is not to get women to do unmedicated vaginal births... it's to support them, inform them, respect them and help them when we can. It's not our choices to make so we have to be ok with that and do what we can when we can.

Sometimes some doulas don't want to do births where the Mom isn't interested in natural birth - be honest with yourself and take doula clients that fit well with who you are. I always ask why they hired a doula, what they expect from their doula - it's a very telling question.

Good luck Megan. :)

courtenay_e
03-19-2006, 09:57 AM
Thanks everybody. I was a debater in high school, I suppose this is much like that. To be successful, one must be able to support both sides! It's been easier, I think, to process this knowing that other people have some of the same types of experiences. I appreciate it.

Persephone
03-19-2006, 10:08 AM
Haven't read any other replies...

I think you did a great job. Hindsight is 20/20, don't forget. My interpretation of if though, is a lil different. I think mama relaxed when she found out she was getting sectioned, because she was afraid of labor and delivery. And a section takes the responsibility (and presumably, the pain) off of her. And of course, we know a relaxed mama will progress better than a tense one. And you can't help with that kind of relaxation, that's all internal. So, I don't think you did anything wrong, and I don't think you could have done anything differently. You educated, supported, and she still got a section. That will happen sometimes. It sounds like you did a great job. :)

jlpetitte
03-19-2006, 10:20 AM
ITA with PP. You can't really "help" someone to that level of relaxation unfortunatly.

I agree with just holding the space for a woman and supporting the process as its happening. At the same time, to be true to yourself and be selective in who you support. For example, if I had a client that wanted to smoke and drink throughout the pregnancy (extreme examples) I would not accept that person as a client because I could not support her fully. And its O.K. to set boundries.

courtenay_e
03-19-2006, 10:28 AM
:notes2:

SleeplessMommy
03-20-2006, 10:15 PM
Yes, the above post - I agree totally. Our job is not to get women to do unmedicated vaginal births... it's to support them, inform them, respect them and help them when we can. It's not our choices to make so we have to be ok with that and do what we can when we can.

Sometimes some doulas don't want to do births where the Mom isn't interested in natural birth - be honest with yourself and take doula clients that fit well with who you are. I always ask why they hired a doula, what they expect from their doula - it's a very telling question.

Good luck Megan. :)

I had a doula for the birth of my son. She seemed a little dissapointed that I had a 1/2 dose of painkiller (Nubain?) instead of a "natural birth". I think she really prefers to attend "natural" births. But I am not dissapointed at all in the experience... my goal with having the doula present was to avoid epidural, episiotomy, and c-section.

saritabeth
03-21-2006, 07:41 AM
Thank you, I agree with that. It is certainly our job to support a woman in the birth experience they want...it's hard for me to wrap my mind around why they would want it that way though. I guess it's called maturity, being able to support someone despite a difference in veiws. Hmmmm.


I hear you.... I have strong feelings about how birth should be. It can be easier said than done to put them aside and support what a woman actually wants. I feel strongly, for myself, that that is how I want to be a doula. I feel like I have the opportunity to educate if they want knowledge from me. But I also know doula's who only work with a specific poplulation of birthing women....to each their own! I find the challenge of trying to see it from a different perspective really good for me, albeit at times really hard.

Good job!!!

courtenay_e
03-21-2006, 07:19 PM
Thanks. I have found it most difficult with the last two births to bite my tongue about the circumcisions. Both of these women were last minute clients, so we did marathon prenatals...we clicked from the beginning, so the "vibes" were good. Circ. was one of the things I didn't cover with either one. They both had their boys circ'd. Uuuuugh! But, it's what they wanted for their child, so I had to keep my face neutral and worry about the next step in the birthing process...both times that was the first nursing experience.

On the other hand, at a meeting I had with a client last week, she was planning on circ. and I asked her why...then gave her some printed info and talked with her about it for a while. After which she very firmly decided NOT to circ. Her husband was so HAPPY! :) I was too. I try to very carefully present the info without sounding like I'll judge if they make a decision differently than I would... even though it'll probably sting if they do. I guess sometimes it just takes me more emotional work to deal with it! Isn't it funny? WE end up dealing emotionally with the decisions these women make?

For instance, the mom with the c-section? She's not holding her baby. Doesn't want to spoil her. *sigh* I can't afford to gift her with a Dr. Sears book. What my gut wants to do is adopt the child. But I can't adopt every child, can I? I will try to point her to some good parenting programs, and give her as much info as I can...in the end, though, I doubt she'll avail herself of those resources. It leaves me with such a heavy heart. :( But I suppose that along with experience I might grow an ability to seperate a little from the situation. On the other hand...isn't it what makes us different from the nurses and doctors that we HAVE a relationship with these women? That we ARE less seperate? *another sigh* The stuff I have to learn is very different from the stuff in the books! Thanks everybody. This is really helping. I'm so glad I have a place to talk about this with people who understand.