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kyle98sean02
03-20-2006, 11:14 AM
I dont know how to make this short so I guess I will just start with the beginning. When I was 42 weeks pregnant with Kyle my blood pressure shot up and I went into pre-eclampsia so I was induced. I was in labor for 18.5 and I pushed for 3 hours and Kyle was stuck. By this time, my pressure was up ultra high and I ended up with a c-section. The dr. on duty was mad at me because he wanted to section me hours before and I resisted until I was pretty much out of it. I dont even remember the decision being made to go to the c-section I was so out of it at this point.

So then we fast forward to Seans birth. I was all set to have a vbac when at almost 8 months my dr. finally gets the records from the hospital Kyle was born at. It turns out the 1st doctor who was really pissed of at me for not consenting sooner had done an inverted T incision on my uterus. There was no medical reason for it at the time. So with that report and the fact that I was supposedly carrying a huge baby (he ended up a whopping 7lb 3 oz.) I was scheduled for a repeat section. When the dr. did Seans c-section, he said my uterine scar had healed nicely and he only saw maybe 1/4 inch of a scar vertically. He said he wouldnt have considered it an inverted T :angry I was mad once again at the first dr. He was a jerk at Kyles birth, then pretty much forced me into a 2nd c-section with Sean that wasnt needed.

Well now with this pregnancy no one was willing to even attempt a vbac after 2 c-sections period. From everything I have read, there really isnt much difference between having a vbac with 1 or 2 c-sections. I have a lot of scar tissue from the previous surgeries and I also have endometriosis. I'm not sure which one has caused it, but I have adhesions that have connected my bladder and uterus. They move as one piece. So now, not only do I have the 2 previous c-sections against me, but the chance that labor could tear my bladder.

Now why I told this whole story is as I get closer and closer to time to have this baby I am freaking out over having another c-section. I hate needles and while I dont even remember the spinal with Kyle, I was so scared and nervous with getting it with Sean. I was shaking and believe it or not, it ranks up in the top 5 scariest things I have done in my life. It didnt help that I reacted to it and was scratching my face off the whole surgery and afterwards I was puking my guts out for hours and scratching my face off until they gave me antihistamines to help and those knocked me out. I only got to hold Sean for maybe 5 minutes the whole first day. He didnt get to nurse until the next morning. I am so surprised they didnt try to give him any bottles. The poor little guy pretty much slept the whole time too. Now I am so scared of having the same thing happen again. I just want to give birth to my baby, have him placed on my tummy, get to cuddle, nurse and bond right away. I dont want a long needle jabbed in my back. I want to be the first person to get to hold my baby. I love my babies so much and never had a hard time with bonding, but I still really mourn the fact that I have never got to give birth normally or have the experiences I have already mentioned. For some reason, I am much more upset about all of this this time. I actually am to the point where I am dreading April 4th and that makes me feel terrible. I dont know what the point to this whole post was except to get it off my chest. Nobody irl understands what I am so upset about. Heck most people think its great I dont have to experience labor and that its so convenient my dh knows exactly when to take off of work. I just want to cry.




nighten
03-20-2006, 11:22 AM
Oh honey, bless your heart!!! :hug :hug :hug

Can you meet with the anesthesiologist ahead of time and go over your fears and concerns? And talk to the doctor about wanting to have a hand free to hold your child? Perhaps some Rescue Remedy prior to the spinal might help? Bless your heart -- I'm truly at a loss for what to say or even suggest other than just that I'm sorry you're freaking out and it makes perfect sense that you are.

<hugs>
-Renee

PinkPixie
03-20-2006, 11:47 AM
That's so sad. I really don't have any advice to give since I have never lived that, and can therefore not even claim to understand the deep impact is has in your life, but I did read something in "Birthing From Within" by Pam England that just might be what you need to read. The author herself has had a c-birth.

Pam England says how you can still have a very empowering and beautiful birth even if it isn't the VBAC that you hoped for (Chapter 25 in the book). She mentions to not call them c-sections but c-births.

She mentions the need to "Grieve the disrupted right of passage" and states that "A woman does not give birth in a void. Focus on thoughts about giving birth and welcoming your baby; don't let the surgical preparations distract you" .
"Cross the river no blame" I Ching.

Titus2fam
03-20-2006, 12:01 PM
(((((Heather))))) I wish I had THE FORMULA for success and fearlessness! This is nowhere near as intense in experience as what you're talking about, but I've been having fear of labor pain/work. I have put up affirmations that deal with fear all over my house, and reading them 1,000 times really is helping! Please continue to share and lean on us, 'kay? (((((HUGS))))) sandi

Black Orchid
03-20-2006, 12:36 PM
:hug :hug :hug I have no better advice than what these other ladies have already given. I have always believed that the more information you have, the more empowered and in control you will feel, even if you are have a c-birth (whata GREAT term PinkPixie) and someone else is actually handling the work part.

And the mind is an amazing thing, too. Have you thought about writing down some positive affirmations and having someone read them to you while you relax and listen to some soft meditation music? I am HypnoBirthing and that is helping me with my fears of having PPD like I did with my DD. You could even do a "fear release" and have a friend/DH guide you through "writing down" your fears in your mind in a notebook and mentally tearing off each sheet and "throwing" them away.

:hug :hug :hug Keep sharing your fears... getting them out of your head is MUCH better than keeping them all inside.

mystic2mom
03-20-2006, 12:43 PM
I'm with you. I dread April 5th. I am just flat out scared that I'll die this time. I had probs w/ my first one and it made me super sick. Plus the idiot dr.(who is now in forced retirement) cut my bladder open. I was so sick and pukey. I couldn't SEE my DD for a whole day! My next experience wasn't so bad, but the dr. scared me into my section, I was not very educated about my abnormality then, and he said he was sure I would rupture. I held my son for a while a few hours after birth. Nurses gave him binkies and bottles to soothe him when he didn't take to nursing right away.This time my doc told me he could not do a vbac, unless I didn't come in until I was ready to push, so I'm thinking about that. I am seriously overweight and have asthma. Anesthesia makes me sick and messes up my body. I'm scared it will kill me this time. I am going to a hospital that allows you to touch baby in operating room and as soon as I get to recovery, they bring the baby. If I start vomiting... again, the baby still stays with me! These nurses call it kangaroo care. Maybe your hospital will allow it? And I get my own personal lact. consultant while I'm there. Hope all goes well. C/S sux, but if its the only way to get a healthy baby, I'll take the chance again and again.

FreeSpiritMama
03-20-2006, 01:15 PM
:hug :hug :hug

I love the idea of using c-birth. I think there was a thread a few months ago on the main preg board about making a c-birth a positive experience, I'll do a search in a minute.

I agree with the others that the mind is so pwerful and positive belief suggestions and imagery might be helpful for you. Also I noticed that the hypnotherapy for childbirth CDs I have has one for C-births, maybe something like this would be helpful?

:hugs Heather, cry and vent as much as you need to its great to get those feelings out and I pray you can make this a positive birth experience

kyle98sean02
03-21-2006, 01:52 PM
Thanks everyone :) I am feeling a little better today. I really like the term c-birth better too. I have started writing a list of how I want things to pregress this time to discuss witht he dr. at my next appointment. I do need to stay focused on the end result too this time. Thanks again for the support ladies, it did make me feel less like I am being silly and made me realize I need to take over whatever control I can for this birth.

jenny-g
03-21-2006, 09:27 PM
Hi!

It sounds like since you know this is going to happen, you can definitely plan for it and make it a better experience!

One thing is to go with an epidural INSTEAD of a spinal, since you reacted so bad last time. Definitely ask to meet with the anest. before the birth, and discuss these issues. The spinal has a limited time window, and so it's sort of rushed- I assume you can get the Epi plenty of time beforehand, so things are much calmer and at a more reasonable pace, and you can use it for pain relief afterward. Hopefully since you have experience with this, you can pre-plan things like breastfeeding asap and having the baby with you. One idea is to get a doula for your C-birth! You can probably get one for way less than the normal rate, and she can help you both supportwise before the operation (if she is allowed with you when you're prepping), and immediately afterward. A walkman on low with some soothing music you like might also help a LOT- I also hate surgery and things like that, even the dentist- and I find the walkman really, really can help a lot.

Best of luck! Sorry you had such bad experiences before :(

TanyaS
03-21-2006, 09:35 PM
I just wanted to say that ICAN's email list and website is a great place for information and support on c/sections. It's a very busy list and there is a wealth of information available there. You can ask the women there for their experience and opinions on the possibility of VBA2C. There are many on the list who have done it.

They can also help with having a better birth experience during a c/section. There's a wide variety of things that are still in your control even if you are having a surgical birth.

I've also seen some recent discussion on adhesions and how to improve that particular aspect of c/sections. I've only been on for a short time and have learned so much and gotten some much needed support.

www.ican-online.org

Tracyn
03-22-2006, 11:11 AM
SO sorry you are feeling so 'low' about all of this.

I am hoping for a VBAC with #2, and thankfully will be birthing at a supportive hospital with a CNmidwife. My first experience (CS) with birth was disappointing, but I felt that my CNM at the time did everything she could to help me avoid a CS. I just never went into labor on my own and induction (at 42 weeks) didn't work after 3 attempts with different methods, and resulted in a section.

Anyway, I have read some great books (the name of one at the moment escapes me), but there's a book written in the late 80s "The Vaginal Birth After Cesarean Experience" by Lynn Baptisti Richards and Contributors is awesome. Lots of successful stories after horrible birth experience. SOme stories are VBACs after MULTIPLE (more than 2 even) CS, vertical and horizontal 'cuts'.

It's a very empowering book. The bottom line - hire a birth attendant (doula etc..) and make sure 'someone' in the labor room is on your side the entire time (aside from your partner).

All the best for the birth you envision!
Cheers

Attached Mama
03-22-2006, 12:04 PM
sounds like you have really been treated awfully by your docs!! I'm so sorry!! but if that's the case then why go back?? I had an emergency c with dd and plan on a home birth for the next. most home birth midwives will do vbacs even if htey aren't "supposed" to - if you are serious about it. the ones i plan to use next time have had a 100% success rate over the last 10 years with home vbacs.

if you are really serious about it, it's not too late to at least try to change. google midwives or homebirth for your area - or ask on here. i would do everything in my power to avoid another c. good luck!!!