Here we go again...5 weeks and counting

[Hikaru]

Well it looks like I'm pregnant again, by my calculations about 5 weeks. I miscarried last November at around 6 or 7 weeks, for the third time.
On top of the nausea and impatience with the world, I can't even be happy about the pregnancy....every twinge in my stomach worries me, every trip to the bathroom I breathe a huge sigh of relief when I check my pants and don't see blood. My poor 3 year old son has no clue why Mommy is being so short-tempered with him.....this sucks. It's like a weird limbo state that only you wonderful folks on this board can understand because you've been there!

I did talk to my La Leche Leader because my son is still nursing and my nipples are sore. She was great�Aand just said to take it a day at a time. She and my husband are the only actual real-live personal acquaintances whom I can tell, at least for another month or so.....aaaargh. Keeping it inside is the hardest part of this, but I just can't go through the pain again, of telling a bunch of people and than having to go back and explain that we lost the baby.

thank you all so much for being there!


:(

[Jacque Savageau]

Sending gentle thoughts your way. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for a healthy baby in your arms soon.

Gently,

Jacque

[its_our_family]

YAY for you!! I also m/c last November. It feels like so long ago but yet it also fees like yesterday! I pray (very hard) that this will be a wonderful pg for you and that you will be able to enjoy it to its fullest!

[naotalba]

I just wanted to send a hug your way. :hug

[emmaline]

Hikaru I empathise, it's such a challenging anxious time :hug :hug

[kaje62]

Hikaru
:love

[MossbackMeadow]

Hikaru,
I'm glad you're back!
My 3rd mc was in Sept. The start of this pregnancy which immediately followed was stressful. I have no good advice except to try to stay busy and not think about it ( yeah , right!), and rejoice in each day.

Keep us posted - we are thinking of you!

Warmly,
MM

[Hikaru]

Thank you all so much for your words of support and encouragement!

And what is up with that..I know SOOOO many women who have become pregnant within a few months of a miscarriage!
Actually, I was wondering about that..has my body really had enough time to recover?
Well, I'm feeling pretty darned pregnant tonight, better go to bed.
Gee this not drinking coffee is really helping me sleep better. The kid is nursing less over the past few nights too...well, he is three,
so it would be perfectly normal for him to be done. Oh geez, how on earth will I get him to sleep without the boobs!

Sorry, that's another forum isn't it!

[karenpl]

CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy!
And I totally understand about all the doubts and wondering about it. My last pregnancy I checked for blood EVERY single time I went to the bath room. It is hard to relax and enjoy.

{{{{ HUGS }}}} and sticky vibes your way!!!!!!!!!!

This one just has to work out for you!

Karen

[XM]

(((hugs))) to you! I have to say that the first few weeks of my subsequent pregnancy really dragged... I was so nervous, always checking for blood... but pretty soon the weeks just started flying by. Try to be patient with yourself, growing a baby is'nt easy, especially after a loss.

XM

[tlc4tots]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and the baby. It might help to go for peaceful walks outside with your older child. Being outside always diffuses short tempers.

[abimommy]

I will be keeping you in my prayers..

:hug :hug :hug :hug

[Hikaru]

I have now officially made it to 16 weeks. This baby is standing a better and better chance of actuallly getting born and I want to thank you wonderful supportive folks for being there!!
We'll keep you updated.
Hugs and blessings to you and yours!

Hikaru

[Jacque Savageau]

Hikaru, thank you for the update! You're still in our thoughts.

[Lucky Charm]

Hikaru...I am so happy for you. I know what its like. Keep your chin up and keep us posted!! :grouphug do you look like this yet? :belly

[Hikaru]

All right, folks, I've made it to 18 weeks and am freaking out a bit.
Not only am I constantly yelling at my three year old, my husband, and anyone else who annoys me (which is just about everyone in the greater Tokyo metropolitan area!) but I am all anxious because I haven't really felt any movement, which I felt with my first son around 15 weeks.
I had a couple of weird dreams..in one, a woman was talking about her dead baby. In another, a guy had a newborn and wouldn't let me hold him because he was "too heavy".
I was supposed to teach today but I cancelled my classes and ran to my doctor a week before I was supposed to go, and made him do an ultrasound. The baby is perfectly normal, heart beating, about six inches long. The doctor, and a few other Moms I've talked to, said it's perfectly normal not to feel any fetal movement yet...
but I just can't get myself together.
Would someone please either give me a hug, slap me upside the head? Actually this is probably the wrong group to ask for a slap but I'll take the hug, thanks.

[emmaline]

Hikaru you're right! no slaps here woman! plenty of :hug though

well you have the evidence, a beating heart and a 6 inch long normal baby but I know it's hard to take in - you really have got a baby in there and s/he is fine

did you get a photo from the ultrasound? if you did it might help to stick it up where you can see it often and start believing s/he's there

I'm sure you'll feel those wonderful movements really soon

[earthmama007]

Stay positive! You are doing a good job mama! I felt alot of movement with my DS at that time but with my DD not the case. She was very still most of the time. It could have been that I was a bit more busy chasing my toddler. :LOL

[Hikaru]

Well, I've made it to 6 months and now the Bulge is doing aerobics. S/he had the hiccups the other night, which was pretty amusing.The whole mountain went bmp, bump, bump.

You all are great! Thanks for being so supportive through a very anxious time.

[Jacque Savageau]

Isn't it odd how we can feel that shear joy one moment at the signs of life, then anxiety the next?

Please know it's very normal and most of us here have felt the very same way.

Enjoy the bumping around - it is a special time. You're in my thoughts.

[Hikaru]

LOL! yes , "odd" is a very accurate way of describing my feelings during this whole pregnancy so far!

[simonee]

Hikaru, how are you and the bulge?

One more month or so? Get your sleep while you can :)

[Hikaru]

Thanks for asking!
The Bulge is now truly enormous. At my last checkup the doctor
estimated that s/he is already about 5 pounds and safe to give birth at the clinic instead of moving to a big hospital.
Now it's just a matter of waiting, really....34 weeks and counting!
Still feeling short of breath and not sleeping well, but managing.
(huff puff, puff huff)
The only thing I'm worried about is that, as MIL is not well
(she's actually in the hospital for rheumatism and won't be out for about another week) so she won't be able to take care of DS.
Basically, DH is going to have to do most of that, which means he won't get to hang out with me and the new baby as much as I'd like...but really I think DS needs him more, so it's OK. I don't want the new sibling to be too much of a shock for the kid, and he and Daddy are very close these days since Mommy is just a big grumpy lump.