Ppd Ocd

[Kundalini-Mama]

hi ladies,

today is my son's 1st birthday! it is hard to believe a year has gone by, he's such a beautiful big boy, i love him to bits :throb

anywho, i have a hx of depression, generalized anxiety d/o and some PTSD for fun :p i became med free (Effexor) about 6 months before he was conceived and have been depression free for about a year and a half, and anxiety free for half that time. in fact, my anxiety and depression were gone, until i started a meditation class.......anxiety came right back, and w/a vengence :(

i've always been obsessional in nature, and, of course, w/the birth of my son, my obsessional thoughts have increased 100 fold. if you know what PPD OCD is, i don't have to explain the thoughts i'm having, and i don't want to even give them a voice. they are disgusting and terrifying, and i hate them. i'm also living w/the GAD, which is creating some different things to obsess about, but nothing as bad as the PPD OCD.

regardless, i just started counseling w/a woman who understands PPD OCD. i will not stop breatfeeding or co-sleeping. i have lived w/this long enough, and while i hate it, i am lucky that it is not debilitating, and i *could* continue to live w/it if it meant giving up b/fing or co-sleeping.

so my main questions are about Effexor, which is my drug of choice. the other typical SSRIs do squat for me, and it was only Effexor that turned my life around, i.e. not feeling dead. i was searching on this forum and i saw the link about Effexor being "probably safe"; i cannot tell you how exciting this was. but anywho, here are some questions:

*is anyone here on effexor or knows someone who is and b/fing?
*what should i expect when going back on it in regards to co-sleeping?
*how would i know if the effexor was "hurting" Aidan?
*can i get him/me tested while i'm on it?

oh, i wanted to add, that i'm just starting to see a naturopath, but haven't thought of bring this up, (i know, DUH), any thoughts on naturopathy/homeopathy?? there is also someone who practices chinese medicine in my town too. i would prefer these methods over the Effexor if at all possible.

i'm sure there's more, thanks so much ladies!
amy

[mamma31337]

Thank you so much for your honesty and bravery. Talking about PPD OCD isn't the easiet thing in the world, and a lot of people don't even know it exists. I have had the same problem, and I used medication as well. While I didn't take effexor, I know a ton of moms who currently are, while BF and cosleeping. You can probably get your blood and your son's blood tested for evidence of the drug, and at what levels. I know that the University of Washington was doing trials with some SSRI's a couple years ago and were having moms come in and get the level checked in babe prior to a feeding and then after a feeding. You would really need to push this with you doc though. If you have a great med management doctor aside from your therapist, he/she may know of a study or place that would help you.

How great that you are taking steps to manage your OCD and anxiety! I really commend you.


-Natalie:hippie

[journeymom]

Amy, I have never heard of ppd mentioned together with ocd in an official way, but that totally makes sense! And that was one of the nightmares I struggled with after the birth of both my kids.

I assume you're referring to those unmentionable, worst case scenarios that hi-jack your mind? That, ruthlessly involve the people you love most? :(

I know now that it wasn't my fault, but at the time I didn't know anybody else had these horrible thoughts and I thought I was nuts or broken or something. Just the knowledge that it is biologically based was liberating.

I don't have any specific advice here. But I'll add that I take Wellbutrin. I doubt it's safe for nursing mommas. But I can confirm it has allieviated the worst of my depression. I'm also taking Depakot (definitly a no-no for nursing mommas) for Bipolar II which was causing my anxiety and obsessive thoughts.

I think it's very interesting that your meditation class brought back anxiety. Isn't it supposed to help alieviate anxiety?! That just stinks.

Hang in there. You're doing all the right things. And Happy Birthday to your little boy!! :bgbounce :balloons

[Jish]

I know moms who breastfeed on Wellbutrin. It is being studied in a study on Bfing and SSRI's at the UofIowa. AM Mom is in the study, tho she is not on either Effexor or Wellbutrin. She may be able to help as far as finding out some of the results on these two meds.

I also have GAD and resulting clinical depression and it really sucks. I'm on Lexapro now and it has been working great lately. with all this war talk combined with the fact that both of my kiddos seem to be trying my nerves, I feel it trying to work it's way back in. Thankfully, I go in to see my Pdoc tomorrow. I always feel better after seeing him.:)

[mama2girls]

You know, I've never heard of it being called PPD OCD, but that's what some of the thougths I had initially were. I was pretty obsessed with having a perfect baby, house, grades (grad school) and generally making my life a happy little story book. HA! You all know how impossible that is. I also had the awful worst case thoughts. For awhile I was afraid to walk too close to the edge of the river in town, or the balcony on the second floor in the mall. I still have fleeting thoughts like that.

I did the ad study at the U of Iowa two years ago with dd#1 and Paxil and it was nil in her blood--I'm switching to Zoloft and don't know if they are still running the study, but I'd be willing to do it again with dd#2.

Congratultions to you on surviving the first year. I think that's the toughest with the first babe. I wish I had advice, but I really can't think today, so instead I send you support and positive thoughts. :thumb

[Curly Locks]

O.k. So how do you know if you have OCD? Is there a test for it on-line or a list of symptoms. I'm a dingbat about this stuff. I just realized (after taking the PPD test on-line) I have ppd after months of thinking I was crazy or these thoughts, lack of motivation, and all the other symptoms would pass. I'm wondering if I have ocd too since some of my thoughts seems so compulsive and I am noticing some patterns and triggers there. :confused:

Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.

[Kundalini-Mama]

PPD OCD is different than OCD (at least in my mind). i do not have any compulsions, which you *would* think would rule out the possibility of obsessive COMPULSIVE d/o, but that's not the case.

here are some links on PPD OCD:

www.abcnews.go.com/sections/community/DailyNews/chat_sichel020124.html
http://www.depressionafterdelivery.com/depression.htm

hth some!
amy :)

[Curly Locks]

Thanks, Amy. Those links helped me. I dont think I have ocd but I think I better get some counseling to help me figure some of this out. I hope you get your questions answered here and get the relief you are looking for real soon. :D

[journeymom]

From the ABC news article above:
Many women with postpartum OCD will start to use different strategies to prevent themselves from harming their infants. Some work long hours to avoid being with the baby. They often will go to great lengths to see that they're not alone with their baby.
That was me after the birth of baby #1. My husband's first day back at work after his paternity leave was just awful. I'd been dreading it, I was terrified of being alone with the baby. Though I hated leaving dd with a baby sitter 3 months later, I was sooooo relieved to go back to work. I also hated sleepless nights, when I was most vulnerable.

It didn't help that the Oklahoma City federal building bombing happened only 3 months after dd was born. That was just awful. I was right there in my head, experiencing what those grieving mothers must have been going through. What a nightmare.

This wasn't near as bad with ds, #2, because I had it under control. But I could feel it was still there, kind of below the surface of the water. It took a lot of effort to A) catch myself sinking into one of those waking nightmares and, B) tear myself away.

Hang in there ladies. Get help for yourself. If not for your own sake than for your kids.

[teachma]

I had this, too. I was actually afriad for a long time that I would die while my baby was in my care. I felt often felt dizzy and shaky and thought I would just pass out and die. That's why I was afraid to be alone with him. I was afraid to pick him up and carry him for fear I'd drop down and he'd get injured. I was also convinced there was something very wrong with my newborn and had him in the hospital for MRIs and blood work- he was only 10 weeks old. Definitely OCD, which I sort of have anyway- but manifest in a really bad way. I am also a hypochondriac, which fits in nicely with all of this! I'm glad so many of you are talking openly about it and about medication. I will probably need to go that route the next time (if I have another). I probably should have done it the first time,