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sunmountain
01-16-2002, 06:44 PM
This morning around 8:30 one of the midwives I see died in a horrific car accident. Both of her children in the car survived.
She was revered as the first midwife in our area to have hospital privileges and fostered in a new era in birth here. She was a kind, loving, non-judgemental woman. She assisted me in getting the help I needed when dealing with my depression during pregnancy. None of this sounds as fluid as I had hoped, but we are all shocked and dismayed by her passing. She touched many lives in our community, yet is being described as nothing but "a mother" on the news. There is nothing wrong with that title! It's how I would be described if the same fate found me, but she was so much more to so many more people--you should see the pictures and letters hanging in the office where she works, all of them testamonials to natural birth and loving thank-yous to those women who work there--all brought together through her doing.
I am very sad today. I felt she deserved a rememberence on these boards, as you all would understand losing someone like this. I had an appointment to see her next week, they called me this morning, before I found out what happened, to reschedule.
And if Els' 3 Ones is around--thank you for the "On Joy and Sorrow" post on the TAO boards. It has helped in dealing with this and the death of the woman in MA. I found out about both today.




robynberkley
01-16-2002, 07:20 PM
Sunmountain...so sorry to hear about the death of your midwife. The bond between caregiver and patient is SOOOOO strong and you must be feeling your loss deeply. Gosh...when my MD moved out of town I cried for days so I can't imagine how I'd feel if he had died, particularly while I was under his care for a pregnancy.

Thanks for memorializing her here! My thoughts are with you.

Robyn

lisamarie
01-16-2002, 07:35 PM
Oh Sunmountain~

I am so, so deeply sorry to hear of your loss and the loss your community has suffered. Yes, YES, please write about your dear midwife and friend here. The shock of such a sudden death is so hard to comprehend and difficult to believe. I am so sorry and please know that I am sending you a big hug and we are here for you and you are not alone.

Much Love~

Lisa

moondancer
01-18-2002, 09:32 PM
So sorry to hear of the tragic death of your midwife. Please feel free to post here--it gives us all permission to share the deaths of anyone we love.

I love to talk about my brave sister who died after losing her battle with cancer 5 months after giving birth to a beautiful daughter. She knew she was dying but she gave life. And we have a tangible rememberance of her through her dd.

So by all means share......

peace, moondancer

sunmountain
01-18-2002, 10:02 PM
Thank you for your hugs and support...the trip to the funeral home was almost unbearable---if there was anywhere a pg woman could "network" it would have been there, today. I simply couldn't believe the line weaving it's way around through the rooms that lead to her casket. Her husband was simply in awe of all the people there, he asked to rub my belly when I stopped to give my condolences and told me Darlene would be there at my birth...
I am usually so ok with death, but I just can't get past the "why" in this case. She brought so much to so many, I can't understand why she would be taken from us now. Then again...who knows how many people she brought together today. I wish I could go to the funeral. DH's schedule won't allow for it.

Ms. Mom
01-19-2002, 08:01 PM
sunmountain - gentle, loving thoughts your way. What a horrible loss to have suffered.

Give yourself the time you need to get through. Her husband was right - weather you believe in a God or not - a part of her will be with you during your birth.

A loss like this is so surprising - nobody ever expects something so horrible to happen to a young mamma who cares for others.

Let yourself feel and take care of yourself. She would want that from you now. As a Midwife, she cared deeply about mothers and birthing.

You'll be in my thoughts over the next few months - please feel free to continue to share. This way you can work though your feelings.