Anyone not have the urge to push?

[kyartz]

It's been almost 2 1/2 years since DD was born, and I'm still shaking my head in bewilderment over this. Seems like what you totally don't expect always happens, eh? :o

As a first time Mama, I read a number of birthing books, including Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, Spiritual Midwifery, Birthing from Within, Dr. Sear's Birth Book, etc. And none of them ever mentioned that a woman might not feel the urge to push!

We had (what felt to me) a long labor - started at 5am with serious contractions every 2-3 minutes and that lasted 2-3 minutes, all day long. Things got more intense around 4:30pm and I got in my tub, and around 10:30pm we had bloody show and went down to the birth center. The midwife there thought that we'd have DD in a few hours and that it would be "quick", which was our first experience of putting the mocker on what would (NOT!) happen.

Around 4:30am my water hadn't broken and so after discussing it with the midwife, I decided to allow her to break it. More hours passed with nothing really changing, other than harder labor (no urge to push!) until the midwife suggested that I stat pushing towards her fingers, and put her fingers up inside me. It took about 2 hours (perhaps a bit more) to push DD out, and I never felt the URGE to push. I finally got the hang of when a contraction started, to push as hard as I could. DD was finally born at 8:30am that morning, and I was utterly and completely exhausted from the effort of all of that labor. Happy that there were no complications, no pain medication, and no other fooling around other than breaking my water.

Anyway, has this happend to anyone else? I'm expecting baby #2 in October and am curious as to whether that "urge" will show up this time or not. At least this time around I'll hopefully be a quicker study on what to do.

[CalebsMama05]

oh mama i'm so sorry that happened to you! :hug I did have the urge but i was young and inexperienced and I thought i needed to push when she said to push instead of when I had the urge to (my urge was farther in and for shorter duration then what she wanted me to do) I wasted an hour and 10mins pushing when she said to rather ineffectively before I finally decided to screw it and push when I wanted. 20mins later and one episiotomy later my son was born.

hopefully you will feel the urge this time. were you by chance on your back with your dd? I felt that the urge would have been stronger had i been in a better birthing position. good luck!

[grace's voice]

I was squatting and didn't feel an urge (I was also in a birth pool). Actually, I was shocked when my mw told me I could start pushing, I knew I'd been transitioning, but I just assumed my body would start pushing on its own. My mw had to show me with her fingers where to push, I never even thought I'd have to push from so far back like I was pooping! My labor was very fast and very intense, 3 hours of active labor, an hour of which was pushing. I really didn't like pushing. It was so hard to get into the momentum of it. The only good thing about it was that there was no abdominal pain from the contractions when I pushed through them. That was a welcome change! My body did push on its own the last 2 pushes, rather violently in fact. Those last 2 pushes were, by far, the worst part of the entire labor!

[NowOrNever]

If you wait long enough, you'll feel the urge to push. You can be complete for a while before your body is ready. Once you're ready, you really don't even have to push. Your uterus will do the work for you! Most people try to get it over faster, though. Maybe your body wasn't totally ready the first time?

[aisraeltax]

i never felt the urge to push and was in labor over 30 hours (if i calculate it right, i went into labor around 7am sat. and he was born 4ish sunday evening..so thats about 33 hours). i NEVER felt the urge. my mw had to coach me through when to push. guess its not typical but its certainly something i experienced.

[KittyKat]

I've heard it's actually not uncommon for there to be a "rest and be thankful" period between transition and pushing. This gives the mom some rest between all the work of the dilating contractions, and the hard work of pushing. If your midwife had waited, you would have eventually felt the pushing urge. Our bodies know how to give birth, and once the pushing urge hits it's like a force of nature. You can't stop it, you don't have to "know what you're doing" your body just does it.

I had an epidural with my first, because the evil doctor (yes, he truly is one of the evil ones) gave me pitocin I didn't need and his evil minion nurse lied to me to get me to agree to it. Of course, the epidural meant I needed to be told how and when to push.

With my second my labor was NATURAL, and went much faster and easier. When the pushing urge hit it was like I couldn't NOT push, and she was out quickly. Unfortunately not quickly enough to keep the doctor from cutting me, but still it was a MUCH more positve experience than my first.

I'm actually looking forward to doing it again, any day now :lol

Kathryn

[Brisen]

With #2, I pushed before the urge started, but once my water broke, the urge came and I went with it. Things went better after that.

[pamamidwife]

I agree with the previous poster that perhaps given more time, you would have felt something. Not that we NEED to push - our bodies do it for us. Maternal efforts make up less than half of what gets the baby out.

This idea that because we're ten centimeters that we HAVE to start pushing is often what creates the problem...that midwives / doctors start coaching and women lose that connection with their body in that way, so they never "feel" it and thus feel that they NEVER had it. Ideally, your body will do what's right.

Another way to look at it is perhaps your baby was malpositioned a bit and that's why you didn't feel the pressure. After some time on its own, your body and baby could have remedied that.

Many women just don't feel a very strong urge to push until the baby is right behind the pubic bone.

[doctorjen]

I never felt the urge to push in my first birth - but I'm sure that's because I progressed quickly and was told I was 10 centimeters so start pushing. I think left to myself, I would have felt the urge eventually - as it was, I pushed for almost 2 hours and was exhausted when my son was born.
With #2 and #3, I experienced the urge to push as a strong sensation sweeping though me - like a freight train roaring through. It wasn't so much an "urge," like "Oh, I guess I feel like pushing now" but more like "Lookout, here comes the baby!" I couldn't have not pushed. My second was an accidental UC, and my third was a lovely in hospital birth center birth that was pretty undisturbed, so there was little to prevent me from just going with the flow of labor.
I was surprised to then have no urge to push with #4. I am sure it was because I was uncomfortable with the OB, who was a friend, who attended me. I arrived at the hospital in a lovely labor groove, 8 cms dilated, and nearly immediately got into a huge fight with her over breaking my water. That threw everything off and it was hard to regain my groove. I finally started pushing because the OB said I was complete and I wanted my dd to be born in May (which she was, by 14 minutes!) I experienced the second stage to be the most painful of any of my births with this one. This birth more than anything drove home to me how easy it is to disturb the natural flow of labor and birth.

[ldsapmom]

I never had the urge to push with any of my three.

The first was the typical, "You're 10! Push!" I purple-pushed for three hours before my doctor lost patience and pulled him out with a vacuum. He was 9 pounds, 8 ounces.

With #2 I got a midwife and actually dilated 10 "9 and a rim" in about 5 hours. After about 2 hours of nothing happening, I decided to start pushing because I was sick of doing nothing (well, dealing with contractions!). I pushed my baby out in 90 minutes, and he was born acynclitic and posterior, so I know he did not put the right pressure on my cervix or pelvic floor to give me the FER. He was 9 pounds, 9 ounces.

Baby #3 I got to 9 in about few hours. We knew he was in a posterior position. After trying to push for a while, off and on, I finally lunged and he rotated and dropped -- was out in 5 minutes. I never had the urge to push, I just wanted him out! He was 8 pounds, 2 ounces.

Someday I would like to feel it!

[BelCanto]

My story sounds similar to yours. When dd was born, I had no urge to push (and no epi) but pushed when I was told and after 1.5 hours baby was born and I was exhausted. The nurses kept yelling telling me I needed to do it harder and more efficiently. UGH...

DS was just born 6 mo ago and I decided to wait until the urge was there. Of course this was a second pregnancy and things seem to happen quicker, but once the urge came, I couldn't hold back. I was worried that I wouldn't have the "urge" but I did, I just had to wait. And, I'm glad I did.

Best of luck!

Oh, and I only had to push 3 times.

[sevenkids]

With my third and 6th I never got the urge to push. My third was well on the way out and crowning without any pushing sensations at all, and no coaching from my midwife either. I ended up giving myself fundal pressure to get him out, 10 1/2 pounds of baby was just too much pressure to have sitting there. Gravity and big babies works wonderfully!
With my sixth, she basically just fell out between the shower to the bed. I never even felt a contraction, much less an urge to push. I remember running (waddling, more like it) from the bathroom to the bed while her head slipped out. I was like, "WTF just happened?" for a few days after that birth!:lol
With the other 5, I got tremendous urges to push, after a little nap at complete. With my fourth, I slept for over an hour at complete and +2.
With my fifth, I had major urges to push and couldn't help it, but I pushed him for 5 1/2 hours.

[mwherbs]

so babies come out even with no urge to push
patience

(sorry bad speller)

[annakiss]

My understanding is that the uterus pushes much more effectively then you ever could so that waiting for an urge is essential for getting a baby out. I think this is why we hear so many stories of such looooong, drawn-out pushing stages.

[jessicaabruno]

My understanding is that the uterus pushes much more effectively then you ever could so that waiting for an urge is essential for getting a baby out. I think this is why we hear so many stories of such looooong, drawn-out pushing stages.

annakiss and everyone else as well,

Didn't know that this can happen while in labor and giving birth.

Thank you.

[fourlittlebirds]

With my first I didn't get the urge either. When I reached "full dilation" I was told to push, which I did for two hours as hard as I could. It was awful, I burst blood vessels in my face, and I pulled a muscle. I hobbled around for weeks afterward. I know from later labors though that when you wait, it eventually comes and is very quick and relatively easy. My body wasn't defective, the midwife was simply wrong, and for me to start pushing before my body was ready subverted and suppressed the natural urge.

Many women just don't feel a very strong urge to push until the baby is right behind the pubic bone.

I love to tell the story of my third birth, in which the baby was still so high up three minutes previous to the birth that I could not feel her head. Just emptiness. Then the overwhelming urge to push, and she was out two short contractions (pushes) later.

Here's something relevant from Michel Odent:

Not only are the same hormones involved in the different episodes of sexual life, but the same patters, the same sort of scenarios are reproduced. The final phase is always an "ejection reflex" and terms such as "sperm ejection reflex," "fetus ejection reflex," and "milk ejection reflex" suggest this likeness. I have adopted the term "fetus ejection reflex" (which had previously been used to refer to non-human mammals) to refer to the very last contractions before the birth of humans when the birth process has been undisturbed and unguided. During a typical "fetus ejection reflex," women have a tendency to be upright, have a need to grasp something or someone, and are full of energy. Some women seem to be euphoric, others seem to be angry, while others express a transitory fear. All of these behaviors are compatible with a sudden release of adrenaline. They are associated with two or three strong contractions.6 This reflex is almost unknown in hospital delivery rooms, and it is seldom seen even at home births if another person takes on the role of "coach," "guide," "helper," "support person," or "observer."

[sweetpeasmom]

Nope never got the urge. WIth first i did have epidural and pushed for 3 hrs basically when they told me to push. Second i push twice and she was out, no drugs. I never felt the urge with her either but then i never really felt much for contractions.

[kyartz]

Thanks, ladies! (and keep'em coming)

This has been a very interesting response to read to my initial posting. I had chosen a birthing center as it wasn't a hospital setting and I thought that we'd have a better chance at a birth that was natural and free flowing, without interventions (both physical and mental).

I'm wondering now what would have happened if I had waited for the urge to push. From what I'm reading here, it seems like a good chance that it would have come and I might have had an easier time getting DD out. As it was, I was completely and utterly wiped out, and it took months to get any sense of myself back that wasn't pure, utter exhaustion.

I can't remember if I wrote that my labor with DD was back labor. Does this "positioning" sometimes lead to not feeling the urge to push? My main focus with the birth was to avoid the hospital and a scene where I'd be subjected to mainstream birthing practices, and by the time the midwife was urging me to push I'd been in labor for over a day and was really tiring. I remember being concerned that if my energy got much lower, that I might end up not being able to push the baby out.

We used a birthing tub, had no pain meds or other stuff (like through an IV). The midwife said that I drank more water than she's ever seen a woman drink at a birth - and she's the senior midwife at this center with many years of experience. It was very hard going, but manageable. I wasn't scared, I felt supported and in a good place. I wonder how much the birth was affected by my water being broken. However, I have to give the midwife kudos for NOT cutting me, even though she offered it as an option and said that DD would be born faster if she did (I had read enough about episiotomies to absolutely refuse). And she didn't stitch me up, after assessing the tears I had. I remember being clued in enough after the birth to have the sense that she thought it was a very tough labor and delivery, although she didn't expressly say so.

We'll see what happens with baby #2. I really hope I do feel the need to push! I also hope it's an easier birth and that I bounce back more quickly, although I must say that going into a pregnancy having had no decent sleep for over 3 years and being worn down by the demands of parenting a toddler, I wonder how I'll make it! I know we all do, in our own ways, but gosh, it's hard going at times, isn't it?

Thanks again for all the sharing and openess, and especially comments from the midwives out there!!! :thumb

[zak]

That is almost exactly what happened to me. Labor kicked in "for real" around 130AM... went to birth center at 700AM... at around 130PM I was complete and was told I could push when I felt like it... I really didn't have an urge. I just went with the contractions... and it took me almost 2 hours to push out our son (finally standing worked!).

I think about how it will be with number 2 also....

[hunnybumm]

DS#1 was an epi baby and I had 45 hours of labor (12 hours after 4cm, 3 hours pushing). I never felt the need to push, pushing hurt and it sucked. I was told when to push and for how long. I was flat on my back.

DS#2 was born at a birth center no drugs. 33 hours of labor (9 hours after 4cm, 20 min pushing). After 8 hours of hard labor I was exhausted and begging the MW to break my water. LOL I didn't feel the urge to push but bearing down felt better than just trying to relax/groaning through the contractions. The MW checked me, said I was 9cm and I could start some gentle pushes. I was on my back and pushing hurt, like it did with my first son. I then switched to laying on my side until I reached 10 cm and my water broke. Again pushing hurt. I tried a birthing stool but it felt wrong to me. The MW then suggested hands and knees with my upper body on a birthing ball. Cha-ching! Pushing felt good! When I was pushing the contractions didn't hurt. 20 minutes later my DS was born. It was so awesome to FEEL my progression while pushing. To FEEL the ring of fire. To FEEL him being pushed out during a contraction, then sucked back in between contrations. It felt so good to be able to FEEL what was going on.

I agree that had you been given more time you would have felt that strong desire. With DS#2 no one told me how to push or for how long. The only time I was instructed was to stop pushing when his head came out because the cord was around his neck 2 times. I was then told " No, you really need to push!" after his head came out because I thought I was done and I wasn't really pushing anymore... but he wasn't all the way out yet. My mind told me I was done but odviously I wasn't. =)

[Tummy]

I agree with the previous poster that perhaps given more time, you would have felt something. Not that we NEED to push - our bodies do it for us.

:thumb Could not have siad it better.
With my first Hospital VBAC I was told when to push... I had been induced with 3 drugs, and had an epi.. I had NO CLUE!.. three hours of pushing, a 4th degree cut and a vacuum.. finally a baby:irked:

My next three 100% natural (including my 2HBAC) I did not push until my body was pushing. I never really had that "urge"... my boyd just started pushing on its own.

[fourlittlebirds]

I can't remember if I wrote that my labor with DD was back labor. Does this "positioning" sometimes lead to not feeling the urge to push?

It is thought that the pressure of the baby's head is one of the things that prompts the pushing urge. So if there is a malpresentation, the body generally will not push, in effect allowing more time for the baby to rotate into position.

A posterior baby might be considered "malpositioned" depending on the shape of the mother's pelvis and what position she is in.

Back labor isn't necessarily an indication of a posterior baby, but FWIW in my experience of four births with excruciatingly painful back labor, the first was an extended second stage, and the other three were very quick second stages. The difference was that the first (though a homebirth) was very managed and directed, and the others were allowed to occur spontaneously.

My main focus with the birth was to avoid the hospital and a scene where I'd be subjected to mainstream birthing practices, and by the time the midwife was urging me to push I'd been in labor for over a day and was really tiring. I remember being concerned that if my energy got much lower, that I might end up not being able to push the baby out.

I had two long labors, so I know what you mean about when you talk about energy concerns. With my first, this was definitely an issue, because I was being asked to excert so much force, for so long, to try to get the baby out. My recovery was so long and hard because it was so hard on my body to have to work so hard when already exhausted. With my other long labor, near the end I felt completely wiped. In between contractions, I rested with my forehead on the edge of the tub, eyes closed, panting, feeling like I couldn't move one limb of my body even an inch. I hadn't planned a waterbirth, but I remember thinking, there is no way I can get out of this tub, even with help. (Maybe with a hydraulic lift! :lol) Then suddenly I was filled with adrenaline (like Michel Odent talks about in the above quote) and I leapt out of the tub. It was pretty amazing. Two involuntary contractions later, my daughter was born.

Note that with the first I was told to start pushing when completely dilated. With the other we didn't check dilation. If we had, I am certain that I would have been found to have been dilated for some time before my body was actually ready to push the baby out.

I also hope it's an easier birth and that I bounce back more quickly, although I must say that going into a pregnancy having had no decent sleep for over 3 years and being worn down by the demands of parenting a toddler, I wonder how I'll make it!

I cannot possibly express the magnitude of the difference between my forced pushing stage and those that were allowed to be spontaneous. With my first I felt physically damaged (even though I hadn't been cut.) I was in such bad shape, and hurt for so long. Even though it was a beautiful spring, I didn't step foot out of the house for the first three weeks.

With my others, even though I wouldn't call any of them exactly easy births, I felt physically well post-birth. I was up and walking around and doing things just fine. My vaginal area felt a little raw for the first week or so, but there was no pain, anywhere.

It makes a huge, huge difference.

[mwherbs]

frequently posterior babies will cause an early urge to push depends on how far down into the pelvis a baby is enguaged- because the bigger part of the head gets down far enough to create pressure on the bowel wall- often these kidos do ok with that too -- I would guess that it has to do with once hitting the right resistance and effective pressure they spin around or else fit the way they are comming

[fourlittlebirds]

From the latest issue of Midwifery Today's E-News (http://www.midwiferytoday.com/enews/enews0808.asp):

Q: Does anyone have tips to help a mom who never gets the urge to push during second stage? She is completely unable to push with the contractions even though she gets in great positions: kneeling, squatting, hands and knees, birth ball, birth pool, etc. Two babies have been born fine as mom allowed her uterus to do all the work while she breathes through contractions. Is it best to let the uterus do its work alone or is there something that can help an "urgeless" mom?

— CLM, doula

A: The best way to avoid such a situation is complete privacy and silence. The art of midwifery is the art of creating the conditions for an authentic fetus ejection reflex (i.e., a short series of irresistible and powerful contractions). Such a reflex is more likely to occur suddenly is there is nobody around but an experienced, motherly and low profile midwife/doula who is not staying in front of the laboring woman and who is not guiding her. It is more likely to occur if the baby’s father has been given an urgent task, preferably outside the house (in the case of a home birth). It is counter-productive to give rational information about the progress of labor, or to behave as if you were expecting the fetus ejection reflex now. It is counter-productive to suggest postures. It is counter-productive to reassure with words when the laboring woman is suddenly expressing a fear (kill me… let me die…, etc.): this is a good sign of the sudden release of adrenaline announcing that the fetus ejection reflex will start shortly…if the mother is not brought back to our planet. During a fetus ejection reflex women find by themselves appropriate and complex postures, adapted to their particular case.

— Michel Odent, MD

[Undercover Hippie]

I just had a doula client who had this concern. She'd had 2 babies previously--a long first labor with interventions, then a second labor that was completely natural and relatively quick with a good OB and a wonderful doula--and yet she had never felt the urge to push. With the second she pushed in the position she wanted, a standing position, and she still pushed for 1.5 hours and was exhausted and her recovery was long and difficult.

She was very worried about repeating this experience with her third baby. We talked a lot about not having any vag exams until she definitely felt pushy (so no one could say, "You're 10, push!" if she wasn't ready) and letting everyone know she would wait to push until she felt the urge. We talked a lot about pushing being like pooping--and how our body knows when to poop, and we certainly couldn't poop on command just because someone else says it's time. We also discussed how long she would want to wait. I asked if she thought that she would get worn out by continuing to deal with the ctx while she waited but she felt that it wouldn't wear her out as much as pushing ineffectively--so true! Anyway, long story short, towards the end of this labor she said, "What do you mean when you say I'll feel pushy?" and the nurse and I tried to describe it to her. With the next ctx she said, "Then I think I do feel pushy!" It continued to get stronger and she only had to push through 3 ctx to have the baby. She was amazed and said it was "the best birth ever!" Her recovery was much faster too.

So, what I'm trying to say is that your second pushing experience really can be different than your first! Good luck!

[FitMama]

With DS1, I labored about 19 hours and was very tired after transition. All I wanted to do was rest. Of course, I was in a hospital, so they were coaching me to push. Having never done this before, I didn't know that my body might truly need that rest. My Bradley-trained DH said he could see the head and that I just had to push more. :irked: Being the type of person who loves a challenge, I ended up pushing like crazy and out came the baby. I tore quite badly. I never really felt a physical urge to push.

Reflecting on all that really altered my perspective with DS2. I specifically wrote this into my birth plan: "I may need to rest between tranition and second stage, please allow me to do so."

As it turns out, I didn't need that rest period with DS2. My water broke, I pushed twice, and then he practically came flying out on push #3 :lol.

[boscopup]

I felt the urge to push the first time, but after that one push, I was no longer feeling an urge to push. I think it was my body telling me to WAIT. Baby was coming too fast! The nurse told me to push with the next contraction. I didn't feel the contraction, so I just pushed when she told me it was happening. That got baby's head out. Then the third push (again, not feeling an urge to push), baby's body was out. My baby wasn't even 4 lbs (29 weeker), and I tore because I pushed him out too fast. In hindsight, I should probably have waited until my body felt like pushing.

So different situation from yours (kind of the other end of the spectrum - pushing stage went too fast), but I think listening to our bodies is the way to go! I'm hoping I'll be full term this time so I can birth with my midwife out-of-hospital, and I know she'll have no problem with me pushing when my body tells me to (or let my body do the work and not actively try to push myself). And maybe I can avoid a tear this time, because I know a full term baby of mine won't be 4 lbs! :lol Probably more like 8-9 lbs, based on DS's size at such an early gestation. I'd rather not try to push that out in 3 pushes. :lol

[Zyla]

With my first and third babies I felt the overwhelming, powerful, can't-stop-it urge to push as soon as I reached 10cm (and maybe a bit before). With my second it was entirely different. My waters never broke on their own that time, and I labored hard for 53 hours total. Once I reached 10cm I suffered through over two hours of super painful painful, non-pushing contractions with no result -- all at the urging of my midwife, who was fluttering around, doing this and doing that trying to get me to push him out. :irked: Finally, I told her to break my waters. She did and I was then hit with -- wow -- the most intense urge to push and he was born within 15 minutes.

I sure wish I'd had a better midwife, one how could have matter of factly let me know that this could be a nice resting stage for me, and that the baby would come down when ready.

[grace's voice]

That's it... I'm putting it in my birth plan this time that I do not want to be told to push... I want to follow my instincts this time!

[siobhang]

I had a similar experience to several PPs here - first was with an epidural (induced labor at 8pm, contrax monitor not working, nightmare situation) and I felt nothing at all - no pressure, no urge, nothing. i still managed to push my son out in 15 mins.

I think it was so fast because he was sitting in my birth canal for hours but everyone was asleep, including me, thanks to the epi, and since the contrax monitor wasn't working correctly (we found out in retrospect), they thought I wasn't contracting effectively until they tried to put a catheter in my bladder and found the baby RIGHT THERE - I swear, I would have had that baby in my sleep if they hadn't checked.

With ds two (who was breech), I was determined to go natural. Breech babies tend to come out faster than normally positioned babies, I've been told.

Right at the end of transition, I felt this overwhelming sense of pushing - it wasn't an urge to push, it was my body pushing the baby out and there was NOTHING I could do to stop it. But the doctor wasn't there yet (the nurses had failed to believe my doula when she told them it wouldn't be very long) so I had about 15 minutes of NOT pushing, which was similar to trying hard not to vomit. I kept screaming, "I am pushing!!" to dissapate the power of those pushes (esp. since the doc was the ONLY one who had any experience with vaginal breech deliveries).

Once he got there, I was able to put power behind those pushes and my second child was also born in 15 minutes.

Urge sounds so sedate - like an urge for ice cream. for me, it wasn't an urge, it was my body taking over and pulling me along for the ride...

Oh, and during the second birth, one of the nurses tried to tell me when to push and I completely ignored her - again, it is like telling someone to vomit on cue.
Siobhan

[charmander]

With DS, they told me to push, and that's when I pushed. (hospital birth -ugh)

With DD, (home birth), I did no pushing whatsoever. My body did it for me - it really was wonderful....I knew it was supposed to be like this.

[Cyneburh]

I wanted to chime in that I think a lot of the "never" feeling an urge to push is often because the care giver isn't willing to wait.

My ds was born very unexpectedly after what everyone thought was prodromal labor. I went from contractions 10 minutes apart with the water unbroken to sudenly pushing without control. It was totally my body doing it. I was just along for the ride.

The cool thing looking back was that my midwife asked me to check myself the night before because I was weepy and discouraged (signs of transition anyone?) and all I could feel was a hard smooth round lump, no cervix. I suspect (looking back) that I was either at 10 cm or nearly at 10 cm at that time. This was at 11 pm. My son was born at noon the next day. So probably 13 hours between being complete and getting the pushing urge.

If I'd been at the hospital, I seriously doubt that I'd have been "allowed" the time to wait. Or the comfort of taking a warm, soothing bath and then snuggling up to dh to get some rest.

But it was an amazing birth!

The midwife showed up 1/2 an hour later. :lol

[kyartz]

I'm so appreciative of all of the responses and dialogue this post has generated. It's really gotten me thinking about how I'd like to approach this next birth and I feel armed with much better information than the first time around. :)

I had my 16 week appointment today and asked the midwife to review my chart and DD's birth, and found out that in fact it took 4 HOURS to push her out, not the lesser time I had estimated. Good God. No wonder I was so beat for so long after that. She had me start pushing right after I had dilated to 10cm, about an hour after she broke my water (with my permission).

This time I'm gonna wait until I feel an urge to push and not waste my precious energy pushing when baby isn't ready to come out!!!!!!

Kristen