Anyone else struggling with Depression during pregnancy?

[Gabe_n_Pippas_Mum]

I know there's a forum on PPD, but what about depression during pregnancy?...I have a long history of depression and have been on luvox for about 12 years. It's working less and less and this pregnancy has been horrible mood-wise. A week ago, I saw a new psych who changed my diagnosis to bipolar, which hit me like a tonne of bricks.

I feel like a fake a lot of the time b/c people say, "How are you? Are you sick?" and I say, "No, I'm okay." because I'm not puking. Last pregnancy I was puking and that was easier than this.

I seem to cry a lot...esp at night. I am seeing a therapist weekly but so many days I just feel so hopeless...

Anyone else in the same boat? I thought it might help to support each other.

Thanks.

Beth :)

[debi ann]

YES! I cry all the time and am extremely sensitive. I've struggled with mild depression in the past but nothing like this. It's hard to get going during the day and I seem to just sit and watch a lot of tv and cry. I was planning on talking to my midwife about it next week when I in but for some reason I'm embarrassed about it b/c I should be estatic about everything, or at least I think I should. Is this normal?

[Jess_n'_the_bean]

I also have struggled with depression forever, and although I have been feeling okay mood-wise so far, I am scared that I will start feeling really badly again.

I also work in mental health so have a few bits of 'advice' to help keep you feeling okay:
-talk talk talk - to a friend, your partner, a therapist - keep talking
-as much as possible, try to get a bit of exercise each day - it really does help with increasing your serotonin levels and giving a greater sense of wellness - even if going for a 20 minute walk
-shorten your timespan - so instead of getting yourself all worked up about feeling depressed, worrying that you will feel this way for the whole pregnancy - try to accept a low mood as how you are feeling TODAY and entertain the possibility that tomorrow may (probably will be) better

PS - i am in Ontario too - whereabouts are you??

[Gabe_n_Pippas_Mum]

Hiya,

I agree with those things. I'm big into the "tomorrow might be better" line of thinking! I get so upset with myself b/c I have a very hn son who is with me every other day when he's not in JK and my patience level is dropping.

I tend to be too hard on myself but I'm trying to give myself some liscence...yesterday Gabe watched a George Shrinks video twice. usually we have a no tv in the daytime rule but I thought, you know what, I'm pregnant and I'm having a hard time. This will not hurt my son and I will be a happier mama!

Today I'm feeling pretty good. It's sunny and that helps. I'm off to see my therapist in a few minutes. It's hard to know what is the depression and what is just being pregnant.

I'm in Strathroy, which is just past London. Guelph is a great city. One of my best friends is from Ponsonby. :)

Hope everyone is having a good day. :love :love

Beth:o

[NewAtThis]

I'm glad to see this thread...I'm starting to wonder if depression during pregnancy is just one of those little secrets that no one really talks about. And most symptoms get passed off as "just part of pregnancy".
Well, I'm not so sure. I know I was depressed my first trimester...those crazy hormones!! And I wasn't before pg, so it wasn't a preexisting condition.
Now I'm starting to deal with it again (@ 7 months), and am finding almost no info on it. Like what causes it, what to do about it, etc. Even with all the info my mw gives me on nutrition, etc, why isn't there any info on depression?
It's frustrating, and there is enough of a stigma that I feel like crying even thinking of bringing it up at my next appt. but I think I will try anyway.

[baby girl]

I too am bipolar, had it under control when not prego, got prego and now I cry over everything, I feel fat, I"m tired so on and so on. In all reality I'm pregnant and about to bring a beautiful thing into this world , take it day by day. Over time you need to realize you may be depressed but this is your body you have control when yous tart feeling like that remember everything good in your life that makes it worth the while including whats on the way. Deep breathes!!! I got diagnosed 8 yrs ago, it came to a point that i wanted this under control and made it that way, yes being pregnant makes it worse but in due time you'll be back to normal. Hang in there.

[NewAtThis]

I too am bipolar, had it under control when not prego, got prego and now I cry over everything, I feel fat, I"m tired so on and so on. In all reality I'm pregnant and about to bring a beautiful thing into this world , take it day by day. Over time you need to realize you may be depressed but this is your body you have control when yous tart feeling like that remember everything good in your life that makes it worth the while including whats on the way. Deep breathes!!! I got diagnosed 8 yrs ago, it came to a point that i wanted this under control and made it that way, yes being pregnant makes it worse but in due time you'll be back to normal. Hang in there.

Great words of support! Thank you, and I've already found myself taking deep breaths and trying to think of the positive things when I feel negativity pulling me down. I trust that things will get better in time.

[Gabe_n_Pippas_Mum]

I too am bipolar, had it under control when not prego, got prego and now I cry over everything, I feel fat, I"m tired so on and so on. In all reality I'm pregnant and about to bring a beautiful thing into this world , take it day by day. Over time you need to realize you may be depressed but this is your body you have control when yous tart feeling like that remember everything good in your life that makes it worth the while including whats on the way. Deep breathes!!! I got diagnosed 8 yrs ago, it came to a point that i wanted this under control and made it that way, yes being pregnant makes it worse but in due time you'll be back to normal. Hang in there.

Thanks for that! It is amazing how the body is controlled by the mind...Ack. I find it hard to decipher what is pregnancy stuff and what is the depression, but either way I've had some rough days. If I can sleep at night, it helps a lot. Today is a pretty good day. I even vaccuumed the upstairs! :thumb Holy Hannah! :blush

One thing I didn't take into consideration when planning my home birth was that I'd have to clean my home! ;) I'm having the cleaners come in twice before my due date and too bad about the money. I'm also letting Gabe watch more tv so that I can chill. We do what we can! :)

Two weeks ago my mil in the UK was diagnosed with cancer, which has thrown me a bit. It might just mean a trip to the uk this summer for the summer which I had not planned, as soon as the baby can travel. It also means I will miss my Disney World trip, which while I know it is a HUGELY selfish thing to think about, has been motivating me to get through these tough months. It's a bit of a pilgramige for me to go to Walt Disney World... and I was really looking forward to it this summer. Gabe is disappointed too but I've told him that if we go to the UK for the summer, we'll go to Disney Paris for a couple of days. How we're going to afford all this I don't know...thank goodness for the line of credit! :p

Hope everyone is having a good day. :Hug

Beth

[earth_sister]

:gloomy: I've been finding myself feeling very isolated lately. I'm living in a town where I know approx. 3 people, and spend maybe a few hours a month with each of them. I am 6.5 months pregnant, and the father left ME when he found out, but still comes to visit my (VERY talkative) 4 year old son every monday. I am still going to court over supervised vs. unsupervised access with the 4 year olds father (bipolar and not following doc's recommendations). I am feeling so isolated. I don't drive, I'm on welfare, I was attempting to finish a high school upgrading course when my fiance left me, but I just didn't have it in me. There is so much stress going on. I find myself snapping constantly at my 4 year old whom I love more than anyone in the world..... I really just need some support....:gloomy:

[Gabe_n_Pippas_Mum]

:gloomy: I've been finding myself feeling very isolated lately. I'm living in a town where I know approx. 3 people, and spend maybe a few hours a month with each of them. I am 6.5 months pregnant, and the father left ME when he found out, but still comes to visit my (VERY talkative) 4 year old son every monday. I am still going to court over supervised vs. unsupervised access with the 4 year olds father (bipolar and not following doc's recommendations). I am feeling so isolated. I don't drive, I'm on welfare, I was attempting to finish a high school upgrading course when my fiance left me, but I just didn't have it in me. There is so much stress going on. I find myself snapping constantly at my 4 year old whom I love more than anyone in the world..... I really just need some support....:gloomy:

Hugs to you!!!! Where are you in Ontario? I live near London. Maybe we could meet up if you're not too far away?? I have a 4 year old too. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Beth :)

[nadiawrites]

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[deleria]

:hug to all the mamas going through depression in pregnancy. While I haven't had any serious episodes, I do have a history with depression and anxiety (anxiety being the bigger problem for me right now).

I'm reading a book called Womens Moods: What Every Woman Must Know About Hormones, The Brain, and Emotional Health by Sichel And Driscoll, which basically links depression, anxiety, bipolar and other disorders to previous emotional trauma and hormones. It's been very enlightening. It also helped me feel less guilty about my anxiety. For some reason, I was blaming myself for how I was feeling. There's only so much cognitive therapy one can do; sometimes medication and/or other therapies are required.

I'm glad I found this thread. It's nice to know I'm not alone :)

[ashtree]

Sorry to delete, I just didnt feel comfortable with what I wrote.

[Nathan1097]

I had depression durning each of my 3 pregnancies. I also had it each time post partum as well. Some of it was situational, but some was hormonal too.

[hibana]

I'm in this boat too. Fiance didn't want the baby at all, and was horrible to me for the first 4 months or so. Now he's completely on board and excited/looking forward to being a dad. I feel as if he robbed me of the joy of being pregnant and I can't get it back. I don't think he has any concept of the damage he did to our realationship. (I was very isolated at that point and had no one to talk to, and was not even around any other women) I know this wasn't just me being sensitive- his friends were appalled by his behavior and manner towards me. And now he seems to think that everything is okay and I need to get over it.

[livviesmommy]

So has anyone actually found a "cure" or at least a way to make it better? I don't have a history of depression, except when I'm pregnant - once the baby is born all is right in my world, no PPD, no "baby blues". And the pregnancy is physically pretty easy for me - so I really feel I shouldn't have anything to be depressed about! But it's there - the depair, the unhappiness, the anger - just he same. This is my third pregnancy and it seems to have started sooner (last trimester this time) and seems to be worse ... much worse. I have a 5 y/o and a 3 y/o at home so taking time to relax, exercise, and all that just isn't a realisitic option. These are my kids and they are my responsibility and I love them. I did talk with my midwife and I start therapy this week; she even said I could take Zoloft if I felt I needed it. But I've really strived for drug-free pregnancies and births and everything I've read about antidepressants in pregnancy isn't good. Anyone have any homeopathic or Bach flower remedies? I've used Rescue Remedy in the past for other stuff - wondering if it would help here too? I know the web site says it's good for labor and birth. I just need some realisitc things to do to help myself.

[RainbowsMum]

I've had depression for many years, although only started getting proper help with it last year when I got really really sick. When I found out I was pregnant I stopped taking my medication because it increases the chance of heart problems with baby, not to mention she also gets dependent on it (If thats the right wording) while in the womb, and when she comes out she would get withdrawls, and new studies show that the one I was on can also effect their lungs and much more quite badly so right now I'm flying solo so to speak, I have a lady who comes to visit me every week to make sure I'm doing OK, as well as I go to a psyciatrist every month. But everyday is an uphill struggle, and so many days I really don't think I can do it. The only advice I can think of is to take each day as it comes... Each day differs and as Jess_n'_the_bean said:

"-shorten your timespan - so instead of getting yourself all worked up about feeling depressed, worrying that you will feel this way for the whole pregnancy - try to accept a low mood as how you are feeling TODAY and entertain the possibility that tomorrow may (probably will be) better"

I also found that planning something to do later in the week so I have something to look forward to doing helps too, like a trip somewhere, or lunch with someone, anything, so that if I had a really bad day, or even a really bad week I could go "Yeah so today sucked, but tomorrow will be fun".

And I agree, good to know we're not alone. :Hug & :love to everyone.

[greenkids]

Oh man, I AM! :bawl I searched through threads for 2 days trying to find anyone else's I could just read off of because I didn't want to post it myself. I finally saw that I could search. So I punched on "depressed".

I hear you. Although this is a first for me (depression that is). That is why it has been so hard for me, I don't know what's wrong or how to deal with it. I'm so bored but at the same time I have so much to do. I find myself being frusterated about my dirty house but can't find the will to do anything about it. I'm not calling or seeing my friends but I miss them. On & on...

I told my MW I feel like a pathetic looser (took me 3 visits to finally say something). I'm always a "go getter" so I feel ashamed.

All I can say is I'm sorry you feel this way, :( it sucks. I hope it's a bunch of hormones that are "just passinging through". For any/all that are going through it... :grouphug