Pregnancy Hormones can make you cranky? T or F?

[ibex67]

Is this just an old folk saying or is it true that being 26 weeks pregnant I might feel as vile and nasty and bitchy and short tempered as I do when I have my period???

[grace's voice]

I get down right evil. Its like witnessing a serious bipolar rage episode. Not pretty at all! I feel horrible being so mean, and I'm not normally a mean person, but the hormones tend to get out of control from time to time.

[ibex67]

Yeah --evil is how I feel today. Just numb to any affection to my kids and wanting to be left the freak ALONE!

[Sharlla]

True, today for instance I stormed out of my MIL's house for telling me that the new dipes I bought are "girly"

[NaomiLorelie]

My DH walks around muttering under his breath, "Just three more months. Just three more months." Need I say more? :lol I have never been a pleasant glowing pregnant woman.

[annethcz]

Oh yes. Cranky beyond belief. Poor DH :LOL

[nova22]

My DH walks around muttering under his breath, "Just three more months. Just three more months."

Oh no... :lol

I get downright evil, too, right around 7mo along. It tends to ease up after a while (THANK GOODNESS) but for a while I really feel like my head is going to split down the middle and some kind of horrible beast is going to pop out.

[PuppyFluffer]

I've been very stable and chipper this pregnancy. I normally am pretty mellow but I had a few emotional moments with the last pregnancy. This one has been ok so far but i'm only about 16 weeks so far! Still plenty of time to get wonky!

[Snowdrift]

I think it's a combination of true and that people tend to treat pg women horribly insensitively.

It is not socially acceptable to, upon being told by a friend that they have diabetes, to tell them anecdotes about blindness and amputations. It is not ok, upon being told by a friend that they have depression, to tell them about that particularly messy suicide you heard about last week. It's not cool to tell the person diagnosed with MS about how miserable wheelchair confinement is, in graphic detail.

But many people find it totally acceptable to, upon being told that a friend/relative is pregnant, tell them all about their emergency c-sect, episiotomy with 4th degree tear and year of fecal incontinnece, stillbirth, miscarriage, horrible swelling, three months of bedrest, etc., with the horror stories ranging from truly horrific tales of deaths to painful stories of major complications, to farcicial stories of minor compliants and everything in between.

Maybe this is how the greater culture acknowledges silently that pregnancy is not an illness but a normal life stage and therefore doesn't merit the same kind of sensitive treatment that illness merits, but it's still insensitive and wrong.

Aside from an episode of depression, most of my pissier moods have been strongly contributed to by family, friends, and strangers, deciding to share with me all sorts of intimate physical details I don't want to share with them. It is not ok for my friends to discuss my perineum in front of me, particularly if we're not especially close.

The next step is the invalidation of normal feelings of annoyance that stem from this. If my friends decide to discuss the state of my perineum and I get annoyed at this, it is then not ok for them to insist that I'm not really annoyed, I'm just hormonal.

For example:
My MIL promised me she would have her hot-tub de-chemicalized, temp regulated to 98f, and have a spare, new bucket ready by last weekend--my 38 week mark. This past weekend, 39 weeks, she: 1) asked DH and I if there was anything else we still needed, such as a new bucket. Um, I thought you'd already gotten that... 2) mentioned that the hot tub was at 85f becuase she hadn't figured out how to regualte temp to 98 and hadn't bothered to bc she had been out of town for two days. and then 3) walked up to me while I was resting on the couch and started fiddling with a pendant I was wearing on an 18 inch chain around my neck.

I indicated with body language that she was in my personaly space a bit, and told her to leave it alone.

Her response? I'm tired and hormonal. Then she suggested that DH should try to stay with me as much as possible, and maybe she should give him some of her valium.

DH doesn't need valium to put with me. Really no one does. But if you're gonna point out several vital jobs you've taken responsibility for, then ignored, then mentioned that it wasnt' really a priority to get them done despite being a week late doing them, and then to top it all off tell my husband (right in front of me) that i'm intolerably hormonal while fiddling with something on a chain around my neck....um, I'm gonna get pissy.

And that's not hormones. That you having unrealistic expectations for me to become both highly passive and a mere baby machine (who ironically is not supposed to be concerned about delays in birth prep..). I like this woman. She likes me. We usually get along great. But the past few months I can't stand her. And I don't think it's hormones--it's her treating me different and then invalidating my feelings about the ways she treats me different.

So, yeah, this is the kinda' post I'd usually write and then erase, but i'm not gonna. Perhaps my rant is out of place, but well, it's mioderately relevant.

[Miss Juice]

So, yeah, this is the kinda' post I'd usually write and then erase, but i'm not gonna. Perhaps my rant is out of place, but well, it's mioderately relevant.
Oh, I'm so glad you didn't. You made so many good and true points here, it would be a shame not to share them. These are not the ramblings of an out of control, tired, hormonal woman. These are the insights of a very perceptive person who has managed to see beyond the surface of a touchy issue, and I for one am grateful for it.

You have made my morning. Thank you.

[Miss Juice]

Oh, and true. I've been from chuckling to pissed to teary-eyed and back again just reading this thread. (Just three more months)

[mesmerize138]

I've been discovering that it's not that I'm actively pissier than usual, it's just that my fuse is infinitely shorter. I'm only 11 weeks, but I gotta tell you that the difference is really apparent to me. My fiancee actually commented on it the other day as well. He said, "It's not that you've been roller-coastering emotionally or even that you've been really hellish to be around, it's just that you seem to have less patience than usual. Honestly, it's not so bad." Which, of couse, made me cry because he's a sweetheart.

[*guest]

tie-dyed - I totally agree with your observations about different standards for pregnant women!

I was trying to explain to my husband why I really don't want a baby shower. At a wedding shower, people don't sit around and tell you about their wedding day disasters, how their husband cheated on them, how you will no doubt change your mind at get divorced. No. But at a baby shower, you get to hear everyone's hideous birth complication ("My neighbor's manicurist's pastor's cousin's....") and that you will give up on whatever parenting choices you've been foolish enough to admit contemplating. No one criticizes your choice of china pattern even if they hate it, but heaven forfend you pick the wrong bouncy chair. People will actually say "OH, you're going to hate that." I'm sure not all baby showers are like this, but it's the norm with my husband's family at least. Ugh.

Anyway, I think pregnancy has definitely made me extra sensitive to small things (rage when husband brings home wrong food, the kind of reaction that would be more appropriate if he killed the cat or something). Commercials make me cry. A bad dream ruins the whole next day. It's a very vulnerable time. We all manifest that differently. I was probably more mellow than normal in the second trimester. I hate being called "hormonal" even when I know I am experiencing things out of my normal range of emotion.

[KittyKat]

Just read the posts on any "pregnancy group" board. There's plenty of stuff about feeling hormonal and cranky!

I had days at the end of my latest pregnancy where I just felt horrid. Physically drained, emotionally wiped out, and my kids kept getting on my LAST NERVE over and over, and that was just the stuff before breakfast!

It's all totally worth it though!

Kathryn

[faeriewisp]

I lose control and turn into a completely different person when I'm pregnant. I become extremely anti-social -- strangers really annoy me, and I get anxious about having to talk to them, and it shows on my face! I get offended soooo easily by things that my friends say to me, and I end up being quite mean to husband. I just want to hide at home and lock the doors.

We are about to move to NY, and I'm seriously considering just telling all the new people we meet, "I'm really not like this, I just get crazy when I'm pregnant. You'll like me next year."

Normally I love people and am very social, love having friends over. Pregnancy is a difficult time for me. I also get severe morning sickness the entire time so I'm sure feeling horrible all the time has a lot to do with my mood.

Also, this current pregnancy was unplanned and came at a very stressful time for us, so it's so hard for me to happily sit and talk about the funny aspects of pregnancy with everyone.

Not trying to be a martyr -- this time I will break down and try some medication for the morning sickness as nothing else works -- but it really is all worth it for the tiny little baby I'm gonna have soon!

I feel like perhaps pregnancy is a time for us to slow down, spend alone time within ourselves, get to know our dark side a little better and let our bodies work at growing the baby! I wasn't surprised by the results of the study the other day that showed working full time while pregnant to be very stressful.

[starlein26]

I've been very stable and chipper this pregnancy. !

Me too so far. A little irritable in the first month but really pretty normal...besides the daily puking...:lol

[grace's voice]

[QUOTE=mommitola]I was trying to explain to my husband why I really don't want a baby shower. At a wedding shower, people don't sit around and tell you about their wedding day disasters, how their husband cheated on them, how you will no doubt change your mind at get divorced. No. But at a baby shower, you get to hear everyone's hideous birth complication ("My neighbor's manicurist's pastor's cousin's....") and that you will give up on whatever parenting choices you've been foolish enough to admit contemplating. No one criticizes your choice of china pattern even if they hate it, but heaven forfend you pick the wrong bouncy chair. People will actually say "OH, you're going to hate that." I'm sure not all baby showers are like this, but it's the norm with my husband's family at least. Ugh.QUOTE]


YES!! Not only that, but I just plain DO NOT want to be around people! I tried to explain it to DH, and the friend who insists I need a shower, and they talked me back in to it, but I'm not looking forward to it. Its so stressful, I actually scheduled it for the day I turn 37-weeks incase it sends me into labor! I did, however, invite a group of natural birth doulas and childbirth educators incase I need some people on my side when people start to gossip! :D ... plus DH will be there, along with other men (I hope!). I don't do hen parties.

[KC in KS]

You know, I thought I'd been surprisingly even-keeled during my pregnancy with DD. I was quite proud of myself for not following the "evil-tempered pregnant witch" stereotype.

DD was 15 months old before DH got brave enough to tell me he spent the whole 9 months not telling me off for my attitude. :lol

[pageta]

I love this thread!

I didn't seem to have any problem when I was pregnant with ds...at least if I did, I don't remember it. But this time, lord! Things that people do that annoy me that I can usually overlook...I am shocked at the things I say to people. And it's not just my IL's - my parents came to visit and I swear I was a bear the entire time. But I just couldn't help it. And it's not like I have a bad relationship with them. The things that people do that annoy me that I can usually ignore cannot be ignored and I bark at people. Oh my!

[Ruthla]

True!!! PG, PMS, AF can all cause hormonal b!tchiness, and I've heard that Menopause can do the same thing (though I have yet to experience it.)

[Ambrose]

I get down right evil. Its like witnessing a serious bipolar rage episode. Not pretty at all! I feel horrible being so mean, and I'm not normally a mean person, but the hormones tend to get out of control from time to time.

:lol :lol :lol

Now, meet a bipolar pregnant momma (-waves hands-) and then imagine that times 5. :rotflmao

DH is dreading this pregnancy strictly because of my raging evil b*tchyness.
:love

[sarenka]

I think the 'crankiness'/anger is, like PMT, just letting the social brake off and telling it like it is. Both in situations when other people are insensitive, and in other situations in which women might usually take a 'peacekeeping' role. It's like you're forced to consider yourself first, or equally.

But the crying over advertisements...that's another thing (thank god I don't have a tv)
And the crying instead of getting angry, despite myself... THAT"S what I call hormones...

[girlfactory]

Evil, wicked, mean and downright nasty :lol That's how my dh would describe me on a bad day. He just gives me the most hilarious stare and starts laughing b/c I'm being so unreasonable. Funny thing to me, I never remember being this bitchy after the baby comes:D