Who's Peeking and Who's Not?

[tannersmommy]

Wondering which of us are planning to find out the gender of the baby prior to birth.

Peek or No Peek: We don't peek. :surprise:

Why or Why not: Love to be surprised. Don't like to do additional tests, including ultrasounds, if they aren't necessary. With DS we only had one ultrasound at 8 weeks because the OB insisted on doing it to "set the due date."

[jessjillbolyer]

For sure PEEKING here!! I can't hold out and wait there is just no way. I like knowing ahead of time. Just me.

[TattooedMama]

Definitely not peeking, although it does get harder when you have 2 of one gender and would like one of the other LOL (a girl!)
I had one ultrasound with ds#1 for dates because I had a very irregular cycle coming off the pill. With ds#2 no ultrasounds at all and with #3 not planning on any either.
It will KILL my family and friends though, they don't understand my objection to ultrasound or my resolve to not find out. To each their own!

[PortraitPixie]

:eyes Peeking here!

reason: I'm a big ole' impatient wimp!

[Carrie Posey]

We just talked about this neither of us had any desire to peek with ds but we both want to know this time. With ds we had a strong feeling that he was a boy and with this one I HAVE NO IDEA..... SO we'll see, right now way before we could even tell, we are saying yes we want to know but we may change our minds.

[Thalia]

Not peeking because:

1. We want to be surprised--it's fun!
2. We want to avoid testing unless it is medically necessary.
3. The u/s is not always correct! We have friends who have 1 girl and 2 boys. They were so excited to find out they were having another girl, only to find out when the baby was born that the ultrasound was wrong and they were having yet another boy. I would find having to "shift gears" suddenly like that very hard to do!! I'd rather wait to find out for sure.
4. If we are going to get clothes as gifts, I prefer the ones that are gender neutral. I just think they're cuter (and more hand-me-downable than gender specific stuff).

[swtpesq]

Definitely peeking - just can't help myself! Patience has never been my greatest virtue (nor DH's). :wink

~Christina
EDD#1 1.9.07

[gribbit]

Not peeking. We didn't with dd as well. we like to be surprised.. Drives our family crazy though..

michelle

[The Lucky One]

We peeked with both of our ds's and this time we will NOT be peeking, although the suspense is already killing me (I'm an anal Type-A :o about these things ).

Reason is because this is most likely our last baby and since we peeked the other two times, this is our last chance to do it the 'old-fashioned' way. If I can stand the suspense, I could not imagine a more terrific suprise!

[mama2ashlynn]

For sure PEEKING here!! I can't hold out and wait there is just no way. I like knowing ahead of time. Just me.
:yeah:

[earthie_mama]

We are not peeking. I also am not doing any unnecessary testing,esp not ones that haven't been proven to be safe. Also I already think I know it's a girl.....I had a dream when pg with my DS(after "feeling" he was a boy, and on top of that peeking) and in this dream was a little baby girl. My dream came a few more times and each time I thught, what in the world?? Then, the last time I realized that my baby girl was my second baby, and my DS was a young toddler. Well, now that I've actually gotten pregnant, and figured my DS will bhe 19 1/2 mos at delivery, I have a tendency to 'believe' my dream. I also dreamt of twins both times before I got pregnant, thats how I knew I would get pregnant.....

[*~Danielle~*]

We will be peeking. Whether we get surprised at the ultrasound or birth, either way it is a surprise! :lol Sometimes they can't tell with the ultrasound, but if they can, we will want to know.

The ultrasound doesn't bother me but we will not be getting any other invasive testing done.

[gr8tfulmom]

We will probably peek. With my first 2 I didn't and with T I couldn't stand not knowing when we were strongly pushed toward an U/S for other reasons anyway (I measured big, he was big, cya policy, etc.) and we were checking out the rest of him we both said "yeah, tell us already!"

[mamallama]

Nope, no peeking here. I peeked with my first, didn't with my second, and won't this time.

I've read that there's a element of bonding that is enhanced by not knowing the sex beforehand. I can't remember whose theory this is, so I can't give a proper citation, but when I read it for the first time it really made sense to me.

The idea is that knowing the sex midway through the pregnancy can set parents up for expectations that may or may not be true. It's a natural thing to daydream and envision what the new baby will be like. When the picture includes a sex, it becomes much more specific. If the baby doesn't match up to the expectation (it has a prominent birthmark, it's a screamer, it's more red and wrinkly or coneheaded than expected....) bonding can suffer in a more pronounced way than if the picture had been less complete to begin with.

Since there's so much we don't understand (or isn't widely acknowledged) about the psychological elements of childbearing, I can't really support or dispute the theory. I just go with my gut.

Maybe it's hooey :shrug

[meggles]

We're not sure yet, although we're leaning towards waiting until the birth. I have a very difficult time being patient, always peeked at Christmas presents when I was little, etc. I'm trying to gear myself up for this nine month long surprise! :D

[mommy2boys]

We aren't sure yet. We didn't know with my first and one of the best moments of my life was when he came out and they said it's a boy. It was incredible. With my second ds we found out and while it was nice the moment was nothing like the first.

I kind of want to know so I can prepare and get ready before hand. We just haven't decided yet.

[tempestjewel]

Undecided here...

We found out with DD because I had a level 3 ultrasound and she spread her legs for a full on view at about 28 weeks, so we were pretty certain- we could see the internal and external structures.

With this one I feel kind of torn about it. I'm another type A who loves to know these things, but at the same time I think it would be neat to just once not know. I already have boys and girls baby clothes lined up either way, so there just doesn't seem to be as strong of a "reason" for peeking. Plus, now that we are a co-sleeping family on a small budget, I don't exactly need to get a "nursery" ready. Oh the ignorant things you do the first time around...

[ninafrijol]

We won't be peeking. We didn't find out with our ds and even though it was hard to wait, we were sooooo surprised and excited (I thought he was going to be a girl the whole pregnancy). It's worth it to wait.

[didkisa]

Not peeking because:

1. We want to be surprised--it's fun!
2. We want to avoid testing unless it is medically necessary.
3. The u/s is not always correct! We have friends who have 1 girl and 2 boys. They were so excited to find out they were having another girl, only to find out when the baby was born that the ultrasound was wrong and they were having yet another boy. I would find having to "shift gears" suddenly like that very hard to do!! I'd rather wait to find out for sure.
4. If we are going to get clothes as gifts, I prefer the ones that are gender neutral. I just think they're cuter (and more hand-me-downable than gender specific stuff).

:truedat: Our reasons, too! :)

[monocyte]

Not peeking!

We do early u/s and then no other unless needed.

[kalisis]

We're def. peeking. DH won't hear of not. Even tho we're homebirthers, we do genetic testing too. Something we decided on long before we even had kids...so far, it's all worked out ok tho.

[Zaxmama]

totally peeking. I have the patience of a toddler. :mischief

[Ahappymel]

:lol Not sure yet but I really really think we're gonna want to peek

[mrsfatty]

We're peeking!

[Jess_n'_the_bean]

We have a difference of opinion!! I don't want to peek but dh does...this is our first and he is so excited that he wants to know all he can about it.

I want the mystery and the surprise! I also agree about the gender neutral baby stuff/clothes - I'd much rather recieve that than pink frilly dresses or blue baseball uniforms! I know our parents will want us to find out but...I think I get final veto on this one!:p

[itsang]

it's so great to see so many of you mamas who aren't peeking. i'm not even pg yet,but dp & i aren't going to peek! we will be able to handle being patient enough...that's not a problem. we just are "back to basics" kind of people...i don't agree w/ unnecessary medical testing & we are looking forward to the surprise!:love i also agree on the gender-neutral clothing, etc. being much better looking!

but, one thing i have noticed since we've been ttc'ing & i'm talking to some of my friends about "gender peeking". They all seem almost 'apalled' that we wouldn't want to find out the gender pre-birth. grrrr...mamas (especially mainstream) can be so opionated on what's right for you, your dp & baby!:irked:

for you mamas who didn't/aren't peeking, i'd like to know some of your rebuttal to the people who voice their disapproval to you for not finding out the sex of your baby during pregnancy.

(sorry if i'm not supposed to be posting here, since i'm not yet pg...:o )

[earthie_mama]

for you mamas who didn't/aren't peeking, i'd like to know some of your rebuttal to the people who voice their disapproval to you for not finding out the sex of your baby during pregnancy.

Well, the fact that ultrasounds haven't been proven safe works well for me. Google it, you'll be amazed at what some studies havew found. Keep in mind, I'm not saying that they are unsafe, b/c there is lack of proof for that as well, but I always err on the side of caution.

[mamallama]

grrrr...mamas (especially mainstream) can be so opionated on what's right for you, your dp & baby!:irked:

for you mamas who didn't/aren't peeking, i'd like to know some of your rebuttal to the people who voice their disapproval to you for not finding out the sex of your baby during pregnancy.



Instead of a rebuttal, I'm going to offer you my advice (Ha! I love irony!)

Don't fall into the habit of defending your decisions. When you sense disapproval over decisions like peeking, hold your head high and remember that it has a whole lot more to do with the other person's insecurity and actually very little (if anything!) to do with you.

Best of luck, itsang.

[niki_73]

we peek. I like being super organized and for that to happen I have to know the sex

[OldFashionedGirl]

I definately do not want to peek. On some level, I know this is going to kill me. I have a hard time waiting for Christmas, for heaven's sake :) But, I figure this way I can't be disappointed. I do want a girl. If I peek and find out I'm having a boy, I might be disappointed. If I wait until I have the baby in my arms though, I'm just going to be so happy to have a baby, I won't care anymore what it is.

My bf put it best, though. "It's like opening your Christmas presents early. It kinda takes the fun out of it."

[itsang]

thanks, earthiemama & mamallama! :thumb i don't feel quite so discouraged about voicing my beliefs & practices, now!

[a_work_in_progress]

Not getting ultrasounds here.

[Neldavi]

No peeking, no way, for many of the reasons that pps said.

I just love the idea of holding my baby for the first time and being able to discover it for myself right then.:love

I'm typically really old-fashioned about many things though. Plus the uncertain safety of ultrasounds.

[blissfish]

We were going to wait & see w/ ds, but I had some spotting that caused my midwife to recommend an ultrasound.

Even then we STILL were going to wait, but the very first time we ever saw our son, it was a great shot of his bum/testicles/penis.

So much for waiting.

I'd like to NOT find out with this next one, but we are using an OB and will probably have at least one us. Given our last experience, I can't say we won't know baby's gender by the end of 9 months. :0

[L J]

Since we are doing an unassisted pregnancy and homebirth, there will be no testing whatsoever from any medical personel, but DH and I have decided we want to do a 3d/4d ultrasound at 28 weeks. Its more him than me that doesn't want to wait- as "crunchy" as he is, he is fasinated by new technology and I have to agree that it is really cool that you can see the baby so well with those.

Those are the pictures we are going to mail our with our pregnancy announcments (yes, we are going to try to wait that long to tell family).

[ilovemyavery]

We will be peeking! We did with DD and we will again. Way to impatient to wait! And another type A who needs to plan. I was just wishing we would know before garage sale season is over because we have NO boy/gender neutral clothes. Just boxes and boxex of pink! If we have a boy this time, we think we will not find out with our third. FWIW, the Chinese birth chart says girl again :)

[peaceful_mama]

PEEKING

can't stand the suspense and I know at my doc's office they don't tell you unless they are SURE SURE SURE :D

[Neldavi]

Since we are doing an unassisted pregnancy and homebirth, there will be no testing whatsoever from any medical personel, but DH and I have decided we want to do a 3d/4d ultrasound at 28 weeks. Its more him than me that doesn't want to wait- as "crunchy" as he is, he is fasinated by new technology and I have to agree that it is really cool that you can see the baby so well with those.
:lol That is really funny to me. That's cool though. :)

Those are the pictures we are going to mail our with our pregnancy announcments (yes, we are going to try to wait that long to tell family).

Wow! That's pretty cool too. At 28 weeks the pregnancy is definitely more real and solid. That sounds like an old-fashioned way of doing it . .. don't discuss it until it's super-obvious to anyone who sees it. :thumb

[annekevdbroek]

We will peek - I'm with the super organized and impatient crowd. I'm the woman who shakes the presents under the Christmas tree. I am sort of hoping for a girl. There are no girls at all in my son's generation (e.g. all cousins are male on both sides of the family). So I'd like to know if I'm having a girl so I can start looking for clothes (used), etc. I've pretty much decided how I want to do the room, which is gender neutral, so for that purpose it doesn't matter. I think the family will go ga-ga over any baby, but particularly if it is a girl.