Just not sure

[jessjillbolyer]

For all of you planning on VBACs....I need your help and advise.

I very much want a VBAC but I am not 100% sure. Part of me is so scared of the pain of labor. I also can't figure out if I want to do a hospital VBAC or one at a birthing center. I really want the birthing center with the midwife but I am just not sure.

How do you get yourself where u know for sure what you want to do? I keep going back and forth on all of it in my head.

[Ligmom]

Hi:wave
Not a member of your due date club, but wanted to answer your question:shy

I have had 2 VBACs...one at the hospital with an epidural, vacuum extraction, epis (the works) and one at home with a midwife. I like to say I had a VBAC by dumb luck the first time, b/c aside from NOT letting my doc induce me or schedule a repeat c/s, I really didn't do anything to fascilitate the VBAC. Despite that fact, when I did VBAC my son I was AMAZED at how different an experience it was...so much easier to heal from and yes, I felt empowered. And of course, my homebirth was awesome, too, but I still remember how GOOD I felt after having given birth non-surgically. WRT pain, I really only got the epidural the first time b/c the nurse told me they were busy and if I decided I wanted an epidural I might not be able to get it later--the pain was totally managable even at the hospital in active labor. And with my homebirth, I had so much support and care (oh and no tear at all with my biggest baby 9'14:thumb). It wasn't easy, but it was once again managable.

I'm not sure how to tell you how to get to a point where you have total peace with your decision. It is great that you are already working on your plans...give yourself some time. Pray or meditate, read, envision your baby's birth...what does it look like?

Anyway...sorry for rambling :blah: I hope you have the birth that you desire :hug

[*~Danielle~*]

Hey Jessica, you and I are in the same boat. I don't know if I'll ever be a place that I know, that I know. I have fears as well. What if this and that. But I will say, the fear of another c-section is almost greater than the unknown of a vaginal birth. My son had difficulties latching because of the pain medication they were giving me, I weighed more when I left the hospital because of water retention than I did when I went in and I was soooooo swollen from being pumped with all the fluids. I want to know what it is like to actually lose even 1 pound right after I give birth. I want to know what it is like to not be recovering from surgery and have my new baby.

You see, our surgery could have ended badly. It didn't last time, there are no garauntees this time they won't cut your bladder. Our bodies were made to bear children. They weren't necessarily made to be cut open repeatedly. You can handle the pain. Your body will recover quicker. Women have been giving birth from the beginning of time.

I'm still up in the air of what I'm going to do but the better part of me says that I really need to go with a midwife. Whether she assists me in a hospital or a birthing center or at home, I really can't trust an ob to keep their hands off. I can trust my body to give birth to a baby...and if and that is a big if, if I need a cesarean, my midwife will know and we will go to the hospital. She will know well before there is a crisis.

So, one thing you can know for a certainty is that you aren't alone in your feelings and fears of the unknown and there are no gaurantees with either a cesarean or a vaginal birth.

[jessjillbolyer]

Thanks ladies!!

I am so thankful I have this board!! I also have a friend that just did a HVBAC so I have her support as well. I have a lot of thinking to do but I know in my heart of hearts I want a VBAC and I want a water birth as well. I just have to make peace with my fears.

Hopefully since I have a good 9 months still, I can do it!

[*~Danielle~*]

I totally hear where you are coming from. One day I'm confident and then I start vascillating back and forth. I am definitley going to go for a VBAC, now to work out the details of a midwife, and where is what I'm confused about. :lol

[tannersmommy]

Hi! I'm planning a VBAC too. I don't know the answer to when you'll know for sure...although I have no doubt that I will not be scheduling a repeat C-section, I also vacilate back and forth between hospital or home, OB or midwife. I am taking comfort in the fact that I have some time to decide. Even if you start your care with one or the other, you can always change mid-pregnancy.

Danielle makes a really good point here:
if I need a cesarean, my midwife will know and we will go to the hospital. She will know well before there is a crisis.
In their profession, midwives see normal natural births, so they are certainly more qualified to recognize when something "isn't right." OBs are more familiar with managed, unnatural, and often high risk births - many would not even know what a truly normal birth looked like. They always have to be "fixing" or "doing" something or they aren't doing their job.

Also, if you are having a drug-free natural birth, YOU will know if something doesn't feel right. The "pain" of childbirth is real, and I don't mean to diminish that (it certainly was harder than I expected). But I think a big part of preparing yourself for it is changing the way you thing about what your body is actually doing. The muscles are doing some very hard work, and the pain associated is more comparable to the pain a marathon runner would feel. Anyway, this is the way I thought about it and it helped me a lot. Also, reading birth stories about natural births is really helpful (Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is excellent).

HTH! Good luck with your plans!

[Zaxmama]

for the first time I am not 100% sure I will have another c-section.. ..I am thinking maybe a vbac could be possible.. maybe... but I am totally scared... but maybe... I am just glad I have a while to research and think about it..