Cesarean support circle

[ladylee]

Whether you are recovering from a recent cesarean delivery, are planning one or are processing a past experience, this is a safe place for sharing support and information. I hope to keep this thread active here so that we also have a space to share. I would ask that everyone here respect each other's unique path and refrain from debate and judgment. This is a place for empowerment and healing. Will be back later to write about some observations I've had recently...

[MamaOui]

:thumb

[ladylee]

I'm back very quickly, :LOL. I have a lot of things at the tip of my tongue, for sure. A little mini vent, to start:

I'm expecting my second child, and if I encounter one more woman who says to me "you're planning a VBAC, right? right?" I think I'll poke them in the eye :LOL! Ay yi yi.

In any case, back when I had my cesarean delivery three years ago I dealt with women who had never had a c-section making assumptions about what the experience is like (I'm sure many can relate to that.) And now I'm seeing a whole new set of assumptions people make as I prepare for #2 and explore the VBAC vs. scheduled C question. But I don't need to waste my energy correcting people's false assumptions or justifying myself.

The bottom line for me is that any birth is an empowering, beautiful experience (even if there are many disappointments)--and any means of birthing I choose will be just that. My cesarean delivery was every bit as much of a rite of passage for me as a natural birth would have been. I've heard many people say "yes, but you would never know the feeling you get from overcoming the pain, etc." (these are usually comments from people who haven't had a c) and I assure them I know, just in a different way! I also think in life we get the experiences we need the most as part of a master plan--I know I've personally experienced several situations where I needed to surrender to pain and it transformed my life--perhaps it wasn't necessary for me to experience this in childbirth, or perhaps I was being protected in some way.

So the second time around, rather than saying I WILL have a VBAC OR ELSE, I am putting out to the universe that I will have an amazing pregnancy, an empowering birth, and an incredible uniting with my child. I let go of everything else.

Looking forward to hearing from others--I always get so much hearing from the women here that have these experiences...

[traci5489]

my two children were both born c-section and any future babies will be too and I am sooooooo tired and angry :angry with all those who just can not let you be happy that you had your baby but have to bring you down just because you had a c-section and did not deliver "naturally". Both my previous c-sections were medically necessary, I almost died the first time around and the second time my dd was breech...but I hate :crying feeling that it is necessary to explain why I made the decisions I did to eveybody on this board eveytime it comes up (I only rarely encounter the same reaction in real life).

You know...the funny thing is I have found basically NO support here for c-sections moms, except to reassure them that there feelings of inadequacy and failure are ok...what :confused: I NEVER felt badly about having had to have a c-section (certainly never felt like a failure etc.) before I started reading posts here. I was always happy and felt blessed that both my babies arrived healthy and I was still here to enjoy them.

I also am fed up with those who have never had a c-section tell me how "easy" it is...oh yeah right...major surgery on top of a newborn to take care of, major recovery time (4 wks before you can even drive a car)...piece of cake.

Sorry to rant, but this has been building a long time and I am so glad ladylee started this thread...I needed that vent.

[ladylee]

traci, thanks so much for your thoughts--I can relate to many things you've said. No, there is no need to explain anything here. :hug

This morning I was thinking back to some of the really beautiful moments from my delivery. I remember how much love I felt for my husband when it was decided to proceed with the surgery & how he was to be there with me--we just looked at each other and grew so much closer in that moment. And I remember how comforted I was with him there, stroking my hair and kissing me, telling me what was going on, making me smile. Seeing his face the first time he saw her! Then seeing her myself, and getting to touch her!

The staff was really great--I had two doctors performing it, as one was my ob/gyn who had come in for me, the other was the ob/gyn on staff. They were so calm and soothing throughout. The nurses were very nurturing, and the anesthesiologist was super.

[Marlena]

ITA, re "feelings of inadequacy and failure." Huh? WTF?? Perhaps I would've felt that way had I viewed the ability to have a vaginal delivery as the end-all and be-all of my existence, but ya know, it's just not. Rather, it was a means to an end: that of bringing my beautiful, wonderful, beloved dd into the world. There's really nothing more to it. All things being equal, I would rather have had a natural delivery (as it's what I'd planned in the first place), but things don't always go as planned.

Does anyone here feel inadequate or like a failure because they had a c-section? If so, why?

[emmaline]

I certainly don't feel like any kind of failure, though I wish my births had happened differently. I do wish I'd been able to birth vaginally - it's normal, like breastfeeding, though some can't do it for various reasons.

Can I share my current situation? I've been wanting to give it some airing but didn't think I wanted to post about it, till this thread showed up!

I presumed that I would have to have another c-birth this time (#3) - my OB has told me she is unable to offer VBAC after 2 c/s due to restrictions on her insurance, and her experience is of scars rupturing - but I know from the ICAN site info that this is usually because of aggressive use of pitocin... This leaves me at trudging around looking for someone who who would accept trying VBAC and developing a relationship with them or accepting the status quo. And for a 42 yo with a history of heart and BP problems in pregnancy and 2 previous c/s ( one for no progress after 18 hrs induced labour with a persistent posterior-positioned very big baby and one for pre-eclampsia) - what do you think my chances are??

That said, I'm not happy about accepting c-birth this time. My last experience, of an epidural that, after 45 excruciating minutes trying to get it sited, did not work below skin surface (think horrible pain while dr wrestled out very stuck face-presenting baby) leaves me very apprehensive and considering general anaesthesia with all it's attendant risks and downsides. I just wish I could do the normal thing, but it's not going to happen.

So it's not that I desperately want VBAC, I don't, but I'd like to have a better experience that I'm likely to have.

[dotcommama]

Ahhh this thread is a breath of fresh air here on the boards. There is a lot of negativity surrounded c-birth here.

Anyway, I had a c-sec w/#2. It was actually a very peaceful birth experience, more so than my vaginal delivery with #1 (won't go into details here). But I don't think that people realize that with good attendents you can have a beautiful c-section birth.

I do have moments when I question my choice - my ds was breech (actually was transverse at time of delivery). Could I have done more to turn him? Should I have waited to go into labor to see if he would have turned? But I have to remind myself that I made the best choice I could at the time. I talked with my midwives and OB and feel I made the safest choice for getting my ds out and I have this wonderful 2.5 year old because of it.

I am preggo with #3 and do really want a VBAC b/c I'd like to have one natural, gentle birth experience and with two other kids to take care of at home I don't like the idea of being laid up for weeks after the c-section, but I'm also trying to remind myself that if I don't get that ideal birth - it's okay. I'm not a failure, it just wasn't mean to be.

emmaline - if you really want a VBAC I'm sure you can find someone who will attend you. But don't feel pressured into it. If you feel more comfortable with a c-birth than that's okay too.

[emmaline]

dotcommomma : I don't really want a VBAC - I am just not too thrilled at the prospect of another c/s either - I want a good experience! not something horrible and stressful

[dotcommama]

I can understand that!

You can have a great c-section. Just make sure all your wishes are communicated ahead of time to the OB and staff. For example, I told everyone in the delivery room that I wanted to breastfeed as soon as I could, that I wanted to see ds as soon as possible and to have a least one of my hands freed so that I could touch him after his birth, I wanted my dh with me. . .etc. Make sure your OB knows these things ahead of time and is comfortable with your desires.

:love

[ladylee]

"Perhaps I would've felt that way had I viewed the ability to have a vaginal delivery as the end-all and be-all of my existence, but ya know, it's just not."--Marlena

Clap, clap, clap--my feelings exactly. I feel that I've had more than my share of incredible life experiences--if it's not in the cards that I don't get to experience that particular moment, I'm not holding it against anyone. That was what was so astounding to me after I had the birth--that some people perceived it as a disappointment, failure, etc. Fortunately I didn't take any of that on because I actually felt quite proud of myself for how well I handled everything.

sweet emmaline, I've been thinking about you a lot lately and wondering how you are-and I hoped you would find this thread. I'm sorry to hear that you had that experience the second time around--I would also feel a lot of resistance about going through it again. I'm hoping for the best for you--can't offer any advice or experience but keep talking it out here :hug...

dotcommama--good luck to you with #3--and that's something I remind myself--if I opt for a scheduled C this time around I will be able to plan everything. The last time I had been up all night, labored for eight hours, and was wiped out--that all impacted my first bonding. It would make a world of difference to be able to breastfeed asap, and speed up the bonding process, as well as shoot for an early release from the hospital.

[abimommy]

I certainly don't harbor any regrets about my csection. Having come very close to losing my child, I am more grateful than resentful of any supposed failure.

I am planning a VBAC when we start TTC again my c-section was due to a cord that was too short and in a knot so I am a good VBAC canidate, plus the adhesions were awful!! UGH! the adhesiaons were the worst part of the whole thing IMO....

[Vicki]

Abimommy: How did you deal with the adhesions? I am trying some gentle massage as taught to me by my massage therapist & doula, but it is rather uncomfortable and I hate to do it.

So many of your posts are very inspiring to me. I had an unplanned c-section in July 2002 after getting to 10 cm totally naturally at a birth center with the support of our doula and midwives. We ended up with a c-section after 28 hours because our ds wouldn't descend, had the cord around his neck, and was extremely large (10 lbs., 2 oz.). I am 5'1" and have a petite build. I felt so empowered during the labor and actually enjoyed it, even though it was painful. The c-section was a huge disappointment and the most painful recovery. I still have a lot of sadness about it even though I am super thankful for my wonderful, healthy little (big!) boy. We certainly had a rough beginning! I also acquired an infection in the incision wound that required a longer hospital stay (5 days) and my little one became jaundiced and needed light treatment, too. Now all is well, though I am working on losing my poochy tummy!!

[traci5489]

I never felt like a failure or really any sadness in any form about my c-sections.

My first was after many (19) hours of labor with pitocin with no progress. After my emergency section we found my son's cord was shorter than normal and had been rapped around his neck twice (thus the dipping heart rate). I missed a lot with this first experience since I was so tired and I had serious bleeding problems and did not get to hold my son right away, I also remember very very little about his birth since I lost consciousness due to blood loss. However, I was greatful that he and I both came through OK. I did breastfeed him within hours of his birth and he roomed in with me for the remainder of our stay at the hospital (thanks to help from my mom).

My second child was planned to be a VBAC, but due to her breech presentation, she turned into c-section #2. It was a planned two weeks in advance and was a completely wonderful experience. I felt like I was in control and since I was not allowed to labor first, I did not experience the bleeding problems I had with my son. I remember everything clearly and I held my dd within minutes after her birth. She was kept in the room with me the whole time while she was weighed etc. and my dh and dd stayed with me in recovery and I carried her (on the gurney) with me back to my room where she roomed in with me for the whole stay (with help from my sister). My recovery time with the 2nd section was much faster also.

My next child (which we are ttc right now) will be a scheduled section, since my ob/gyn (the same lady who delivered the first two) will not due a VBAC after 2 or more sections (some kind of insurance issue for her) and that is just fine with me.

It had never really occurred to me that I was suppossed to feel like a failure etc. I think however you delivery your baby the feelings of profound joy and pride will be the same, regardless of how that baby was born, but that is just my opinion. I just don't really see the point in wishing for something I will never have, and I just doesn't seem like such a big deal to me to have a vaginal delivery but I also don't have a problem with conventional medicine and giving birth in the hospital, so perhaps that has colored my perceptions differently than most others here.

[ladylee]

I've been experiencing a lot of healing and release over the past two weeks or so--my husband has been away on business and I took the opportunity to go inward and sit with all of this. I've been doing birth art and yoga, as well as writing, and it has been tremendously helpful. Today I was focusing on letting go of fear/replacing it with love & trust in a meditation and the tears just started flowing. It felt great.

Hi Vicki--labor was also incredibly empowering for me--I was totally managing drug-free & it is good to feel confident that I can handle that.

[abimommy]

I had surgery to get some of the adhesions removed...it still hurts a little but not nearly as bad...they just use a tiny tiny instrument to do it...recovery isn't bad at all..

[Dahlia]

I am glad to hear that there are people out there who have had positive c-section birth experiences. I myself had 2 c-sections. I am not as lucky as all of you , and am having a hard time dealing with it. I think the fact that the hospital I was in both tims (2 different hospitals) treated me as if I was a sick patient instead of a woman giving birth to her children. My husband was not allowed in either time, even though I begged them to let him in. I felt scared and alone and can barely remember my children's first cries. I didn't get to hold them after the birth. Both times they were wisked away from me after 2 minutes. It was horrific. The second time around they even put a high risk pregnant woman who had to undergo stomach surgery in the room with me. I had to hear her monitor and moaning all night long while 4 different doctors came in to check her all through the night. I therefore feel cheated of any birth expeience., though I have two beautiful, healthy children that I am thankful for.
Needless to say that I do not live in the U.S. It's nice to know that someplaces in this world all women no matter how they deliver are treated well, and are able to enjoy the most important moments of their lives.

[dotcommama]

:hug Dahlia

Sending you some healing vibes.

[Dahlia]

I can feel them coming my way! Thanks

[dlb]

LadyLee--

Congratulations on the new baby! Thank you for starting this, I will be back when I am not so tired!

Love,

dlb

[abimommy]

Dahlia, I am so sorry for your experiences...mine was not nearly so sad or heart wrenching..:( It is different in the US and that is probably why some of us dont have as many negative feelings about having had to undergo the procedure..:hug :hug

[its_our_family]

Hey ladies...I thought I might find you here...

I'll post later...ds is driving me NUTS!!! He keeps climbing on me to get to the computer then gets mad when I move him!!

[abimommy]

My dd likes to do that as well..

She also likes to go in the other room and shout "help, help!"

then when i go in there run and jump into my chair at the comp...:o I guess that is my signal to get off the comp...

[ladylee]

Dahlia, I'm also sorry to hear what you went through--we're here for you! :hug...

[momof1baby]

I am really glad this thread was started. My Daughter was born almost 11 months ago, and I had sort of put away the feelings I had surrounding my C-section.

Its almost like having a vaginal birth is a secret club and when you don't make it in, there is a dissapointment. I felt it both from the outside world as well as myself. It's funny how when you tell people you had a C, they kind of respond with a "oh, I'm sorry". The fact is there was a baby born which is always a happy occasion, no matter how it happens. It makes me kind of mad.

I tried to have a vaginal birth, I was induced because I had a severe case of PUPPS (thats a whole other thread in itself). I was in labor for 10 hours, but when it was time to push, DD's heartrate kept dropping. Turned out that her cord was wrapped around her neck twice and her abdomen once. And her cord was compressable (they still can't give me an answer on why that would have happened). Fact is, if I'd tried to do vaginal, she probably would not be here today.

I am just grateful that she was born happy and healthy.

[its_our_family]

i don't if I have done it anywhere else so I thought I'd briefly explain my c/s....

I had been having contractions for about 9 days (I started at 28 weeks but they were n't anything to worry over) and they were between 3 and 6 minutes apart. They were mild but I had been having them so long that they were rating about a 60 on the monitor and I could barely feel them. My dh was going out of town and could only stay if I was in labor at the hospital. I guess they wouldn't count my 9 days at home! So, I was stripped on wed and since nothing came of it I was induced on friday. The pitocin was started at 7am and at 12:30 i was checked. I was 3cm and 95%. This is what I was at when I got to the hospital. I told the nurse that I thought baby was face up. She said I wouldn't be able to tell without an ultrasound. My ob was supposed to be there at 2:30. He didn't show up until 5. He broke my water. I told him baby was face up and he also said that I couldn't tell. By 5 my contractions had evened out and were no longer productive. I had the max amt of pitocin they could give. I was supersaturated and they back the pit off. It helped and the contrax became productive again. They started the pitocin back up and again they evned out. They still wouldn't listen that baby was face up. By the time 8: rolled around they said they were giving me one last chance. My last contraction started around 8:05 and at 8:45 the contraction had not stopped. The ob came in and explained that I was borderline of rupturing! Baby was fine but they were afraid for my life. They wouldn't back the pit off because they were afraid my contrax would stop all together. I had a c/s and baby was born at 9:43.

I blame my ob because if they would have listened they would have done an u/s and could have turned him. But it was too late...I was too saturated and it didn't matter. I was on pitocin for 14 hours with no drugs. That is he only thing I take pride in. My labor wasn't what I wanted and it didn't end how I wanted. but I have a baby now. It took a couple months for me to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't able to birth my baby. I was induced for fear that dh would miss the birth of potentially our only child. But I still blame my dr for the outcome.

[abimommy]

ok here is mine...


DD was a week overdue and I had been having strong contractions for a couple of days..being a gamer chick I spent that time playing railroad tycoon, the sims and Masters of Orion (we all have our coping mechanisms heh)..I couldn't sleep as the contractions were too strong.

Finally the night of the second day I called dh at work and he said he would be leaving a little late and would be home in an hour or two (dh works till midnight some nights and he was supposed to work till 2 that night) I informed him of the dire circumstances of him arriving later and threatened to remove various organs with blunt instruments. Not that I thought the baby would be born right then but that I was hurting and feeling sadistic.

He came home immediately and we packed our crap and left for the hosp where they informed me I was only dialated at one!! GAH!! they said "you must be dehydrated" and gave me giant quantities of water which I immediately purged from my stomach, all over the nurse. oops. They admitted me and we wandered around the hosp for a few hours. They checked again and I was still at one. They started me on fluids as I was hurling and couldn't eat anything. We wandered around some more. They checked again and well, this went on for several hours.

they threatened me with pictocin, I refused. We wandered around some more. They checked me again dialated at two!! woohoo!! More wandering. my Dr showed up and broke my water, more threats of pictocin, more refusing and more wandering. I eventually gave into the pictocin, they wanted me to sleep for a bit and they gave me an epidural and I slept during transition. (this was now day three of no sleep) and they woke me a bit later and checked me and I was at 8! (man, I was tired)

Finally at ten, I was ready for pushing, two hours later...still pushing..hhmmm suddenly they ran in tilted me upside down and put me on oxygen, the baby was having heart decellarations not serious enough to warrant a c-section at that point though. I got in an argument with the nurse about having to pee, I was having bad cramps and was very miserable so they put in a catheter and I felt much better, an hour and a half later I was going into shock and they said they were doing a c-section. I hadn't had another epidural in awhile so they gave me another dose but it didn't take quick enough so they injected stuff into my abdomen.

When they opened me they found that dd's cord was too short for her to have entered the birth canal and was in a true knot thus my problems progressing (I had been vomiting which is a sure sign of labor in my family) she was also compressing my bladder and it was all beat to hell (which was what caused the cramping that was annoying me) and the surgeon informed me very nicely that my bladder would never be the same..:crying thats what I wanted to hear...I will be making my own cloth diapers in a few years...:crying

I was allowed to nurse immediately after they closed.

[ladylee]

DD's birth is very much on my mind because she's turning three at the end of the month, and it's interesting how details blur as time goes on and different things become important. The things I remember now are how thoughtful she was to get things started the night she did--it was the only free night my husband had at the time, any other night he would have been an hour and a half away in NYC. The background to my story is that I had gone in for a midwife check at 36 weeks, at which time we were checking to see if she had flipped head first. The midwife had just been shown how to use the ultrasound and offered to check things out that way as well--well, she apparently didn't know how to read the ultrasound and thought dd had flipped when she hadn't. I would have been scheduled for another check the following week and it might have been caught at that point, but she decided to come before that happened!

So that one night my husband was free (before my next appointment would be,) I was writing in my journal about whether or not I was ready to become a mother when I felt her foot kick and break my water. Woke up dh & told him, took a shower, and soon contractions were coming pretty close together. Called the ob/gyn who told me to try to sleep as much as possible and to head to the birthing center when things were where they should be. I had a feeling it wouldn't be long-sure enough within 15 minutes they were five minutes apart, and I wanted to go. We got settled into the birthing suite (by this time it was around 11 at night--they were busy with a few other births) and neither one of my midwives was on call, so the nurses were attending to me. Contractions were there, but I wasn't dilating past 3. Spent the night in the tub, walking the halls, etc. etc. Around 4 am they check me and check the baby's heartrate, which had dropped significantly, so they call my doc at home and he comes in.

He examines me and immediately realizes she's been breech this whole time, apologizes and breaks the news that a c is necessary because she's at risk (heartrate was 84 at that point.)
I think I was too surprised to be disappointed-it just didn't occur to me that I'd be having a cesarean delivery. Which is probably good because I switched into pragmatic mode. They give me the epi and they were so fantastic--I asked them to wait until I placed myself in a visualization (I was having contractions throughout this whole time) and the two nurses were rubbing my back and being so wonderful. So everyone comes in, my ob/gyn and his partner, who was the doctor on call and who would help with the procedure, and dh. I was alert and just focusing on staying positive, looking forward to seeing her for the first time. Everything went smoothly--they brought her up and out and there she was!!!! Everything kind of came crashing down on me at that point and I was quite overwhelmed about what had all happened, so I wasn't really quick to bond with her, but dh was with her the whole time and a couple hours later they brought her in and she roomed in the whole time I was in the hospital. The nurses took great care of me, a lactation consultant came and got us started, and overall it was as positive an experience as it could have been. Three days later I was up and about, feeling great--cooking and cleaning, which was of course, not very smart. My incision opened and that was a pain for a month or so, having to care for it--but other than that no complications.

Afterward I contemplated filing a complaint about the midwife and other errors, etc. etc. pointing out what could have been avoided. But my doctor took responsibility and said he was sorry about how the birth progressed (the midwife worked with him) and that was all I needed--I felt best letting it go. That midwife had the best of intentions, those nurses were doing the best they could during a busy night of deliveries, and I didn't know any differently because it was my first child. The experience taught me that sometimes even though someone's mistake really impacts you in a bad way, everyone is human and all you can do is forgive-so I chose to forgive them as well as myself.

I always appreciate the opportunity to tell my story--it's very helpful.

[Andrea0408]

Hello!

I am a new member, but was thrilled to see this thread. I have had two c-sections, and although I have had some feelings of disappointment, I have always felt as though the existence of my children is far more important than how they arrived into the world.

My Son was 2 weeks overdue, I had been induced since he was quite large...I labored for 42 hours before his head began to swell against my pelvic bone...My daughter came into the world 15 months later by repeat c-section.

I sincerely feel that the way I am currently raising my children is far more important than the way they were delivered. Sure, I would rather not heal from surgery, deal with scarring, and be able to be up and around right away after delivery...but they were worth every second of pain and frustration.

thank you for starting this thread...I feel so great after reading all your posts.

Andrea
Mommy to Gavin & Trinity

[ladylee]

Hi Andrea!

"I sincerely feel that the way I am currently raising my children is far more important than the way they were delivered. "

Absolutely! The birth is but one component--the process of nurturing and growing that child for nine months as well as what comes after the birth are what are most important to me.

I've thought a lot about how the birth experience affects the child for the rest of their lives, and how a c delivery would affect them specifically--I know for my daughter that experience was every bit as welcoming as a natural delivery would have been, if not more. Two gentle people brought her into the world to be welcomed by her loving parents--what more could I ask for?

[MelissaEvans]

Thank you for this thread! It's great to hear about other moms not feeling sad about their experience. I needed to look at mine with that perspective. You're right, it's not the end all and be all of life. I am very glad my baby is here. I honestly don't think he or I (or both of us) would be here had it not been for the surgery.

I was 10 days "over due." The doctor wanted to induce me at +7 days, and I declined (ticker her off, o'ell). I finally started labor at +9 days and labored for 30 hours. I really wanted my baby to be unmedicated, and made it through to that end. The last 3 hours were serious pushing (I finally allowed them to give me some pit because I got stuck at 9cm - ICK!). Near the end of that time, the doctor (a different one who I liked and who respected me) suggested using the vaccum to help get the baby out. I was pretty darn tired, I wasn't getting those 3-5 minute breakes between contractions (more like 20 seconds) and the baby wasn't moving at all. So I agreed. After three push/pulls, the baby still didn't move, so we ended up in a c-section. Admittedly, the ITN felt really good after dealing with the pain for so long. I could tell when the baby was out because I felt empty. I found out it was a boy and he was 10lb 2oz, 23in long, and his head was 14in around.

DS was taken to the baby area and they put me back together. DS wasn't doing too great, but I didn't know that. I was taken to recovery where I knew I'd be for an hour. I was hoping that after that hour I'd get to be with my baby. It was a second-best compared to the birth I wanted, but it would have been fine by me. DS was nearly airlifted to another city with a NICU (we don't have one in our hospital). By the time my hour was up, he was doing well enough to stay in the hospital, but I couldn't see him or hold him. Well, I probably could, but I didn't ask. I was pretty much in shock and denial. I didn't get to room with him, he had to stay longer than I could so I had to go home without him. The doctor was afraid of infection and suggested a spinal tap. I agreed without asking any questions. The doctor was afriad DS would get jaundice, so he wanted the baby to have a BM, but it was before my milk came in so he was on formula. I spent a lot of time learning about the procedures that are common during labor and delivery, but not what can be done in a not-so-perfect situation with the infant. And I didn't ask at the time, I was to shocked and tired and drained.

DS was group B positive, or something. There's some quesiton about that, but it's what I was told. His oxygen levels were low. His poor head was *so* coned and bruised. Not only did I have the feeling that my body betrayed me and I was "broken," but that it poisoned my baby too. Then there was the guilt with his poor head. I allowed them to do that to him and was later I had possibly damaged my baby forever. I allowed the doctor to hurt him terribly with the spinal tap and felt horrible about that after I realized what I had agreed to. Breastfeeding was difficult in the beginning. Throw on top of it my reasoning for wanting a natural birth - I trusted that God knew what He was doing, so I felt like He failed me too. Later, I had a bout of PPD which also made me feel broken. Logically, I know it was hormonal shifts, but it sucked that I had to take a medication (which I am very grateful for) to keep me from harming my baby or myself.

Things are better now. I can accept that I made the best decisions I could at the time. There's no point dwelling on them, I can't change them now. I can only learn and move forward. My baby is fine. He's huge and healthy and happy and thriving. Nursing is going well (except for the fact DS is teething, and those li'l razors hurt!) And faith needs to be exercised and tested; like the toddler verifying that mom knows what she's doing. I didn't do too well on the test in the beginning, but it's a long exam and I'm doing much better on these quesitons than the first ones. =)

I also had to reocgnize that my biggest goal was a healty, unmedicated baby. I got that in the end. I didn't get the pain meds until right before the surgery, so thay weren't in my blood stream long enough to really affect DS. I made it through 30 hours of labor without any drugs. I feel that I succeeded in the hardest part, the part everyone said couldn't be done. And I'm really thankful, I think had I accepted the meds and my baby were "drugged" on top of the other problems, he would have been taken taken to the other hospital.

I think I could have been more graceful about my feelings of the c-birth had it not been for the other factors. But that's the hand I was dealt and now I'm coming to terms with that.

For the record, the worst part about recovering was the hair growing back! =)

*hugs* for all the other mommies who felt broken; make the heart whole, and the rest will follow.
~Melissa

[ladylee]

Hi Melissa-you've both come so far-I really admire your outlook. Thank you for telling your story :hug...

[ladylee]

quick ? for those who've had more than one c delivery--are the incisions typically made at the same site?

[dotcommama]

Originally posted by ladylee
quick ? for those who've had more than one c delivery--are the incisions typically made at the same site?

I've only had one, but I've heard that if you have a second they try to use the same site.

[Dahlia]

It depends on hat type of incision you had the 1st time, but they usually try to make the incision in the same place.

[Avonlea]

I am SO GLAD to see this here!

I am going to be having a scheduled section in August for my second and last baby, as I will be having a tubal ligation at the time as well.

I know some people who are of the opinion that I should have tried for a VBAC, and that the choice I am making is awful...but you know what, I am the one who has to deal with the serious decision..not them!

I was not planing on having a section with my son.I was induced due to pre-eclampsi and afgter 17 hours of labour I was getting nowhere fast and he was face up as well with a decelerating heartbeat.

I am now just glad he is alive and healthy and I am too.

I guess I do not get the whole "to be a true woman you must deliver your baby a certain way" thing...who ever said it was more important HOW you RAISE your children instead of how you birth them never spoke truer words!

So now I am actually going to have a birth plan and have things a little more orderly, I hope, than last time..because last time was utter chaos!

Glad to know I am not alone!:love

[emmaline]

Originally posted by ladylee
quick ? for those who've had more than one c delivery--are the incisions typically made at the same site?

quick answer - yes!

[ladylee]

thought so, thanks!

Avonlea--hi, and all the best to you! Tell us how things are going!

[dlb]

Hi Guys--

Sorry it has taken me so long to come back to this thread-- this whole issue can stir up deep feelings that I tried so hard to put behind me. Often no time to deal with anything deep, as I am busy with the products of my four c-sections, all boys, born 4, 8, 10, and fifteen years ago.


My first c-section triggered feelings of loss, lack of autonomy, and that "left out, not good enough" mind-set, that, when I reached deep into my heart, I realized I had been struggling with all of my life. Kind of the cap-stone, and it made me start to deal with those issues. Maybe I needed that, so that I could start my mothering journey in a healthy place.

No time to go into all the details of each birth, the first was horrible, traumatic, "hospital Policies" were put above my needs. "Dad, take your baby to the nursery" is what I remember most. Hell, he was MY baby too, and nobody talked to me, or made me feel like anything more than a baby container. With the next three,
the last two scedualed, I insisted on baby staying with me during the surgery, and the last birth, I actually rode to recovery with him in my arms. Those things made all the difference.

Just to share, how many of you are so sick of self-apointed birth experts, who were not even present, telling you what happened at your birth? After my first baby, a nine pounder with a huge head who wen't into distress after pushing for three hours, my sister in law informed me that the C was because I "didn't relax enough in labor." Did she know that I have a deformed spine, with a tail bone that grows inward by about two inches, and his fifteen inch head got stuck on that? Just because my hips are wide does not mean that the passage way is adaquate, you can't tell by looking (I have since figured out that said SIL is an ass, anyway, and will always have a hurtful comment).

After my first baby, I had to have laser surgery for a cervical carcinoma, and a good portion of my cervix was lasered off. I tend to develope alot of scar tissue, so I had that to work with, plus my bad pelvis. Even so, I tried for a natural birth with a midwife, and was transferred after a horrible day and a half in hard labor, with no dilation to speak of. People still had their ignorant comments.

So, I planned my last two C-sections, figuring I could have more control in a planned section than in a emergency one. Felt like I had to have my stories straight for the "V-bac police" though! Do I have to tell everyone about my pelvis and cervix? No, I'll just let them think I am mainstream, what with my co-sleeping, nursing, non-vaxed little kids, and organic garden out front, ya know.

In any case, I would not have submitted to major surgery without good reason, it wasn't because I wanted convenience (how in the hell is major surgery convenient?), or not good enough at labor.

Love to all of you, especially those new to the journey, may you find peace with how your babies got here.

love,

dlb

[ladylee]

dlb, it's always so great to hear you.

"Just to share, how many of you are so sick of self-apointed birth experts, who were not even present, telling you what happened at your birth? "

Isn't that something? It's interesting how some people are compelled to have such a vested interest in your personal experiences. I think some people need to have themselves mirrored some way, or like to hold themselves up as an exemplary example. It also says a lot about how some people view "failure," and how they need to conform to groups, too.
Of course there are people who are genuinely committed to helping people avoid c's that don't want them, but there are a lot of unconstructive people out there who don't have appropriate boundaries.

Whenever I know of someone giving birth by abdominal delivery I give them an extra boost of support and admiration for what they've been through--I've been through it myself, and it always seems like the biggest hurrahs go to the homebirths and the natural births, and the VBACs, of course. Although I have the option for a VBAC, I may decide to have a scheduled c, and if so, will certainly treat this birth with as much celebration as any of those births would bring!

[jingwen]

I'm so glad for this post...
Ladylee my story is similar to yours.

My story makes me so angry...only because my C-section could have been prevented, and my son became an ICU baby because of the circumstances.

At 34 weeks i knew my son was breech but the doc just felt around and said no, he said his head was down refused to check further. A week later my membranes ruptured early and i went to the hospital to find out that indeed my son was breech. It was unfortunate because once the water breaks they refused to turn the baby. Despite pleas to have a vaginal birth, hospital policies refused. My son was born by C-sec on 4/23/02. Two hours later he was having difficulty breathing and had to be intubated. The neonatologist felt that it was because he was born c-sec so his respiratory drive did not turn around.
Then my son was misdiagnosed with pulmonary hypertension, given a bunch of drugs and then sent to UCSF for a major operation. It was right before the operation when the doc found that he was misdiagnosed. My son had Respiratory distress instead and all he needed was a shot of surfactant. He breathing turned right around but had to stay in the hospital 2 weeks to wean off the chemicals they gave him due to his misdiagnosis.

So as you can see the cycle of events occured because of one mistake made by obgyn. If he would of found that my son was breech back then, he could of been turned, if he could have been turned they would have attempted vag. birth, if my son had vag birth his resp. drive would have turned around and he would not have had to endure such a horrible torture in the ICU.

The worst part is I'm a nurse and this all occured in the hospital i work at. I see these doctors now and they can't even look me in the eye.

11 mos later, i still feel a lot of anger, for the gynocologist and the neonatologist who misdiagnosed my ds. I also have a lot of anger towards myself because i'm a nurse, and should have known better kwim? I should have questioned them but being it was my first birth and i work with these docs... you trust them.

Anyway, now my son is happy, healthy and beautiful...i will never know the long term effects of the C-sec or the ICU but i will just enjoy my baby one day at a time.

Thanks again for letting me share. Wendy

[ladylee]

bump

Wendy-I'm sorry for what you both went through :hug. I know how it feels to think "if only that mistake hadn't happened."

How are the pregnant mamas doing?

[galadriel]

Hi-- I had a c/s 4/11 after 36 hours of labor (24 at home), and it was primarily a great relief to me. I feel genuinely good about it, and my daughter didn't suffer in any discernable way from all the drugs, thank goodness. But my abdomen is sore and it's hard being patient, waiting for it to heal. You can read my birth story (with some cool pics of the surgery, too) on my website (link below). I felt totally empowered by the birth. :D

[MelissaEvans]

I needed to cry. I was talking with a pregnant friend of mine who's due 5/20 and is swelling a whole heck of a lot. I remember my Bradley lessons (which she didn't want to take the time for) and being told that pregant women usually don't have to cut out the salt, and it's really important to eat protein (my Bradley teacher made us track it to verify we were getting 80-100grams a day). We kinda started talking about it, and she looked away and seemed really not interested in anything I have to say. I'm probably being overly sensitive, but it felt like she was telling me "Yeah, like I'm going to follow your advice. You had a 10lb2oz boy and couldn't even birth him without an operation. Great example... not!" I'm just really depressed by our visit. Thanks for letting me whine.

~Melissa

[KKmama]

Oh I really, really, REALLY appreciate this thread. A huge thanks to Ladylee for starting it, and thank you all for sharing your stories and your feelings. I am really, really touched by what has been expressed here.

I'm not going to go into the details, but yes, my C was medically necessary, and I feel fortunate that ds is healthy, vibrant, and *here*. I was super prepared for an unmedicated, vaginal birth, but I was also prepared for *anything* to happen... I think because of that, we were able to make the most of the C and to enjoy the amazing experience of the birth of our son. My mother went through a somewhat similar experience with the birth of my brother, but *didn't* have a C, and my brother wound up with a birth injury and brain damage. Knowing the other side of the coin, I would take the C any day.

I wasn't really prepared for having to defend what happened afterward. Especially because it was necessary and I had no other choice, and also because I didn't feel traumatized (not to belittle the feelings of mamas who *are* traumatized by their births, though).

We're getting ready to TTC, and I have all sorts of mixed feelings about birth. Do I want to prepare for a VBAC, or go with the "known" (a repeat C)? I think I'd really like to have a VBAC, but I think having another C if I get worked up for a VBAC would be disappointing. I also am a bit leery of VBAC classes... what happens?

Anyway, a big, big hug to all of you. Birth is an amazing process, isn't it?

Kristine

[Vicki]

Ubertulip: What an inspiring birth story! Your perspective is amazing considering your labor. Thanks for sharing your link and story. It has caused me to pause and think a bit more about my unplanned c-section after 28 hours of labor at home and in a birth center here in Seattle. What a gorgeous little girl you have! Such bright eyes!

[katie-p-]

Thanks to everyone for sharing your birth stories. As my ds approaches his 1st birthday all my feelings are resurfacing and I am ready to share my experience. My feelings around my 2 cesearian births are VERY different than most of yours and I am so glad that most of you view your c-births as positive. It has given me more to think about.

First off I am deeply hurt and very tramatized from both my dd and ds's birth. With my dd I went through 12 hours of unmedicated labor and some pushing before we were rushed for an emergency c-section. We planned a homebirth but didn't even get to try because I had low amniotic fluid and a very small baby. I was healing emotionally from that birth and felt like it was necessary because her heart rate was dropping and she wasn't coming out. The doc came in a tried to vacuum suction her out 2x's but it didn 't work. Well I went back several month later and saw the midwife from the hosp. who told me I could have birthed dd vaginally and that the doc never removed the fetal monitor that was in her scalp so he couldn't get the right suction. I was devastated and became angry and bitter. I wished the midwife had never told me that. I was really working and making progress on healing from that birth experience.

So 3 yrs. later we conceive again. I feel great/heathly my entire pregnancy and KNOW my baby is healthy. I decided to vbac at the same hosp. w/ midwives because I was a little neverous about the vbac. Anyway my midwife wanted to do an ultasound just to make sure everything was good cuz of dd being small and low, low amniotic fluid. Well that spiralled into many us's and nonstress tests and finally finding low amniotic fluid. Then bed rest for 6 weeks then doc. saying c-section is the only way to go 2 1/2 weeks early because ds was doing okay now but probably not in a week. I succummed to the pressure because I was scared at this point and beginning to doubt if ds was okay. WHICH I KNEW HE WAS!!!!!!!! I had the c-section and he was perfect and so was everything else. The placenta etc. Oh yeah but the fluid was a little low ! WTF!

The part that hurts me the most is that I didn't trust myself and my baby. I knew there was tooooo much intervention and that YES they were going to find something that would warrant some kind of action. I didn't have the courage to stand up for myself and my baby. I went to ALL THEIR TESTS. I could have said no. I get so mad because women are in such a vulnerable place when they are pregnant and they SCARE you into intervention becuse of the LIABLITIES! I, in my heart, know that both my births should have happened vaginally and that hurts. Both times the med. staff has admitted their mistakes. I feel it eats away at my core sometmes. I don't care about what other people think about my birth experience, it's how I feel about it that makes it so hard for me. I think it's my karma in life to learn to believe in myself and find the courage to stand by it. That is what this last birth has really taught me.

Thank you if you have gotten this far. It really feels good to write about this. I have been scared to reopen these feelings as they have been brewing inside for a looong time now.

Peace to all of you, Katie

[ladylee]

I'm glad I came back to revive this thread-I didn't see some of these last posts and I'm glad I did.

I'm now 21 weeks along and will have another cesarean delivery. Ubertulip--I also felt empowered with my first birth no matter what--there were many things that had to be overcome and I overcame them. And I fully intend for this birth to be every bit as empowered, if not more so. It will be nice to have more control, and to have wisdom gained from experience. Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories.

[katie-p-]

ladylee ~ I am very glad to hear that you have made a decision that is right for you and feel at peace with it. Have a wonderful pregnancy and empowering birth.

May I ask why you have choosen to have the c-section? I ask because we may have one more baby and I have been really thinking about another birth and what it may be like. It would be nice to hear about how you came to your decision. Thanks a lot.
Warmly, Katie

[ladylee]

Thanks, katie! Resources that were available to me previously (after much time-consuming research) suddenly became unavailable. After sorting through the new set of variables this was the choice that was best for me.

[Cajunmomma]

Ladylee, I want to thank you as well for starting this thread. I've tried to post here before, but my post got lost and I haven't had the time to re-do it.

I've had four c-sections, and have 4 healthy childen, and dont regret any of them. I do get really tired of people telling me how sorry they are that I don't know what it's REALLY like to have a baby, or insinuate that my children and I aren't really bonded because "we didn't have a normal birth experience". For the record, I do REALLY know what it's like to have a baby, and, yes, my children and I are extremely well-bonded, thank you wery much.

My first c-section was for fairlure to progress, and my OB (I found out later) let my labor way longer than the ACOG guidelines would have wanted him to. When my first dd was delivered, there is an audible "pop" on the videotape when the doctor has to pull her out of my pelvis where she had wedged. She had a ring around her head for a couple of days from being stuck.

Having had a c-section doesn't make me less of a mother. It doesn't taint the relationship that my children and I have. And it doesn't mean that either I or my birth experience should be looked down on.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[ladylee]

Hi Cajunmomma--:clap. I always :rolleyes: when people presume to know anything about my circumstances or pass judgment on it.
I lead a natural/holistic lifestyle and there are some other natural types that scrutinize a woman who doesn't fight tooth and nail for a VBAC or HBAC.

I think perhaps why I don't feel so much loss about not knowing what it's like to actually push comes from my experiences with visualization, and my familiarity with things like rebirthing. To me, the physical realm is but one plane of experiencing things--my "body" may not have been able to do what nature intended, but my spirit did, and therefore I was fulfilled.

[Peppermint]

I am so glad to have found this thread. it is not easy to be a c-sectioner on this board:D

I am glad to hear so many people with positive section experiences. My sections were both "planned" in and that, my pelvis is deformed and no chance of a baby coming from there.

It never dawned on me to feel like a failure over it until I started visiting boards like this:crying

I was disappointed sure, but I was so glad my children had been born when medical science can safely do a c-section, if it weren't for c-sections not only would I not be a mother, I probably wouldn't be alive.

I am now preg. with my 3rd and I, obviously, will be sectioning again, I am very nervous. There were no real "complications" with my other 2, and I loved my OBs and anesthesiologist, but just have a hard time with being cut open while awake, KWIM? Also, being strapped down, I always hate the feeling of not being able to move my own limbs, and I always get nervous afterwards when I'm laying there holding my babies, the nurse will come in and start asking me to wiggle my toes, and I apparently take longer than most to do that, which the nurse is always so kind to point out :) ( so then I'm sitting there wondering if I'm paralyzed, can that even happen form a spinal?)

So, I know what I have to go through, I am glad the option is there for women like us, who have/will need it, but I am still very nervous. How do those of you who have had planned c-sections deal with knowing what is coming? Maybe I'm just a freak.

Also do you all go for an epidural or a spinal? I've had 2 spinals so far, but am now with a new OB, so I don't know.

I am so glad this thread was started, I think we all need the support and love of other AP mamas :)

[dotcommama]

jess7396 - congrats on being pregnant!

C-sections are a little scary b/c they are major surgery after all, but they're very safe and the odds that you'd be paralyzed by the anesthesia or something like that is soooo rare. As long as you have an ob and anesthesiologist you know are very qualified and you’re comfortable with - there is truly no reason to worry.

I also agree that it's a little odd to be cut open while awake. That creeped me out! Can your dh be with you during the procedure? If so just ask him to talk to you and keep you distracted while they're cutting you open and then after the baby comes out make sure they're going to get him/her cleaned up where you can see it - that's the best distraction ever!

I think they normally do a spinal for a c-sec b/c it numbs you higher up then just an epidural would - but you should ask your ob what the options are and why.

[MelissaEvans]

I've been thinking about the next time around (not in progress, just dreaming) and the VBAC vs pland c-birth choice. I realize that I had a hard time with my first becuase I had such a hard time making a connection that the baby was mine. I was pregnant, I was big, I labored and labored; then they gave me a shot and I didn't feel anything and I couldn't see anything and then I wasn't pregnant any more. Weird. Has anyone asked to be able to see the surgery? Gross, I know; but I think I can handle it. I was able to watch moles be removed from my tummy and I can look at the needle in my arm when I donate blood. Little league comapred to a c-birth, but if DH can see it... well... maybe it would help if I end up/chose a c-section again.

~Melissa

[emmaline]

Melissa i have come across women who have asked for the screen over their belly to be lowered so they can see the birth(and docs have agreed), one can always ask!


my 3rd c-birth is fast approaching - 9 days to go

it's weird knowing what day and even what time my baby will be born

it's hard to decide - can I let an anaesthetist try a spinal again (the last time it didn't work) or can I give up the idea of dh being in the room and me being awake and have a GA? I still don't know what I will choose on the day and don't know how to decide

I'm concerned about the postop period - last time I got a severe mastitis on day 5 and was in hospital for 10 days

I feel in reasonable shape compared to this stage in my previous pregnancies so I'm hopeful things will go well

[Bamamama]

I can relate to a lot fo you. I remember after getting home form having my c-secton, my mil said to me, "This doesn't make you any less of a woman." It was meant to be uplifting, I think??? But it sure came across as very insensitive & demeaning.

[its_our_family]

Hi ladies!!

Just to let you know I'm trying for a vbac this time!

I can't remember who said that they are having a repest c/s and that ppl think they should try for a vbac or a hbac.....my opinion....its your birth experience do what you want!

I really really want a vbac so thats what I'm doing. If I have another c/s...I'll be disappointed but I jsut want my baby!!

[mom2sam]

Hi, I'm new here and am so glad to see this thread! Although I had planned to have a non-medicated birth I ended up with a c-section after 2 days of labour, being given oxytocin, having my membranes stripped and still only progressing to 3 cm. My baby was fairly large and his head would not fit through my pelvis. He was also not desending but wedged into place and not wanting to come out. When I was told I would need a c-section I was actually quite relieved as by then I was so exhausted and just wanted my baby born.

I experienced everything but the pushing but alot of people made me feel like I got off easy! :huh As if major surgery and a long, painful recovery is getting off easy!!! I feel like I was as prepared as anyone could be before the birth but well meaning people have told me that if I had only been able to let go of the fear I probably could have had a vaginal delivery. To be honest, I thought I handled the labour part quite well and wasn't feeling that much fear at all just a bit of apprehension as this was my first baby and I didn't know what to expect.

I had a doula who was a big help with getting through the contractions but pretty much useless once the interventions started. My dh even saw her rolling her eyes at one point. Afterwards she made me feel like it was my fault that I couldn't progress and encouraged me to "try labour again" next time..arrggghh! :angry

At first I felt pretty ok about the c-section as I and my baby were healthy and well which I figured was the most important thing but after I started doing some reading, I was beginning to second guess myself and feel like there was something I could have done to prevent it. I am so grateful for this thread as now I am realizing that I did everyting I could do and my birth experience is no less valid or "natural" than anyone else's. As someone above said, the most important thing is how we raise our children not how we give birth to them. Thankyou for allowing me to vent!!:

[Avonlea]

This Thursday I have an appointment with the dr. whp preformed my first section and we are going to discuss the possible delivery date of the next baby. I am not sure what alll is involved. Does anyone who has been here before have any suggestions as to what I should be asking or what I can expect?

I am really going to be much more assertive this time around than I was able to be with my son...do you think the nurses are going to be sickof me by the time I leave???:D

[Peppermint]

Question for those who have repeat sections:

How long before due date does your Dr. insist on doing the surgery?

The Dr.s I used in the past as well as my new Dr. do the typical 2 weeks ahead of due, I hate that. My son was actually born at 39 weeks (and I was in labor) instead of 38 like my daughter and I swear that it why nursing was so much better. I'd really like to be able to wait as long as possible, I'd even be willing to go get "checked" daily if that's what it takes, just to have the baby closer to when he/she would naturally come. I figure if they do the surgery 2 weeks before due and if nature had taken it's course the baby would've been 2 weeks late, then the baby is actually 4 weeks early, KWIM? (sorry if the question is confusing :))

[Avonlea]

So, should I request that we do it as close to the actual due date as possible? I have had two ultrasounds and both gave the same EDD , and I think that the week before 8/16..she can do it on a Tuesday or a Friday..thats when they schedule surgerys.

[Peppermint]

I sure would if given the option, get as close to the due date as possible, after all I think you'll know if you go into labor right? Then you could have it done at that point if you had to, but yeah, I'd love to be given the option to wait longer :)

[Avonlea]

Well, at the appointmesnt today she said probably between the 7th and the 11th..and my due date is the 16th, so pretty close I think.

I measured at 32 weeks ..all is good to go so far. Noraml and healthy, Thank Heavens!

[Peppermint]

"Baby is healthy that is all that matters", that should be our mantra on here :)

Glad to hear it will be so close to due date, yeah for you! :)

[ladylee]

emmaline-I'm thinking of you today!! I hope you have a beautiful birth experience and I'll be looking for your news when you're up to posting! Wishing you a speedy recovery, too.

I'm almost 29 weeks, and my due date is 9/23. I scheduled the birth to be as close to that date as possible-she will be joining us on 9/20! Right around the time of the equinox-my favorite part of the year's cycle! My daughters will balance each other out nicely-my first daughter being born close to the vernal equinox. I'm with you, Patty and Avonlea-I definitely wanted to wait as long as possible, and would be very happy to go into labor prior. That's interesting, Patty-your observation about nursing-makes a lot of sense.

I'm feeling very, very good lately. You know, sometimes I read things written here about cesarean deliveries and the judgments that swirl around them sometimes and it takes a lot of self-control to not react. Instead I've reshaped those emotions and realize that what I'm put in touch with from reading those judgments is just how much more there is to (my) birth than pushing a child through my vagina. Everyone has their own destiny, and birth is a part of that-and many are destined to be mothers to children they don't even birth. I feel grateful to be able to conceive, grow a healthy child within me, and to actually experience their coming into the world. Keeping these thoughts in perspective really helps when I get the feeling there's some elitist birth club that wouldn't accept me as a member.

Avonlea-are you writing up a birth plan? Good luck-it won't be much longer!

[its_our_family]

I got in to see a midwife finally! the great news is that since I was a failed induction that i'm a perfect candidate for a vbac!!

I'm so excited and I'm already looking forward to our birth experience!!

[Avonlea]

Ladylee, I have a tentative birth plan created..now I just need to retype it up and turn it back into the drs office next time I go in..after the fourth.

I did not have one for my son andlet me tell you..I was NOT a happy gal by the time we left the hospital! he was given formula bottles on three sepreate occasions over the course of our eight day stay. Even AFTER we had said" no bottles" to the staff!

I am also brining in my own diapers this time, and being a SUPER big pain in the bum as far as my baby being alone with the staff is concerned. It is not allowed.

And I AM going to wear my own nightgowns AND bring my own sheets. I think I can handle a little blood on them and we can wash it out when i get home. Last tiem every time I attempted to put on my more comfortable gown from home the nurses would say" now now..just put the hospital gown back on my dear so yours won't get mesy.." or something along those lines. It was very discouraging.

I think I may get a reputation as a real b*!ch..but oh well!!!

If they don't like me, maybe they will let me go home day sooner( ok, well, one can always hope..now can't one?)

I also informed my Dr as to the fact that I don't want to SEE ANYTHING! I want to be as loopy as she can make me while the thing is happening. I am glad there are ladies out there who want cameras and lights and photoes and to watch it all occur..but um, I am NOT one of those people. I want to go to sleep ( essentially) and wake up when they are done.

I bought an electric knife last month,and I used it for the first time a week or so ago. I almost passed out while using it and had to turn it off and go sit down and lay my head on the table...because I was cutting up a ham and the smell of the hot knife and the cut meat was ....um..making me think about the surgery.

My husband tried to make me feel better by saying" Oh Honey, you know, thats not teh type of knife they use..they use a>>>" I cut him off and said" I dont WANT to know what type of ANYTHING they use!!"

As much as I try to get ready for this and all..I still am scared and not really looking forward to certain aspects of this thing.


How many of us had staples...by the way? I am dreading more staples and having them removed as well.

ok..onto more pleasant things I think!

[Cloverlove]

Hi Mamas!

Unfortunately, my cesarean *was* traumatic and I am still experiencing ill effects 5.5 years later.

We had planned a hb and after hours of pushing, the midwives suggested going to the hospital. Well, he still wasn't coming out, so I wound up with a cesarean. It was not a peaceful and gentle entrance into the world. He was whisked away sceaming and was given a vitamin K shot, eye-drops and an iv without our consent. We were also seperated for over an hour. It was very sad. I really wonder how his birth experience has shaped his personality because I compare it to dd's very mellow hbac and her super-easygoing personality.

In addition, he was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder that has been linked to infant vitamin K (from the Lancelet and also mentioned in Mothering Mag). So, yes, I am still angry. But more so with the experience after the birth, than the birth itself. Maybe if I was more prepared and had a birth plan, things would have gone better.

Oh, I also have a bladder control problem that was caused by the surgery. Has anyone else experienced this?

[Peppermint]

Avonlea
I am "empowered" by your post. I am planning to be a royal pain in the azz as well this time around. My pediatrician, whom I love, will come to my room to see the baby, and the baby will be rooming in. On a good note, the hospital info. I got from my OB is fabulous, for a hospital, KWIM? It has a whole sheet about how your room is the baby's room, and how babies sleep best next to their mommies and how SIDS is reduced when baby sleeps near mommy, how they don't give out pacifiers, b/c a baby cries either b/c they are hungry, need to be cuddled, or are in pain. They say how feeding on demand is best, and breast feeding is far superior, woo-hoo! They also use only cloth diapers, so they can actually tell how much the baby wets. I think I am going to have a much easier time at this hospital, also, no "recovery room" away from baby, as soon as I'm sewn up, the baby and I will be together while I "recover".

Now, on the subject of staples- I had stitches the first time, and the scar was worse, so she decided to do staples the second time, and the scar is sooo much better, almost invisable (amongst all the stretch marks :)) but I hated getting them out-so much! So, I don't know what I'll have this time around.

Are there any other choices we have as c-section mamas, things I don't even realize are choices?

[emmaline]

lee - thanks for yr good thoughts - baby came early! he was born at 8:56pm on june 17

some evil gut bug tipped me into labour and the abdo pain from bug was such that doc couldn't rule out appendicitis so - rapid c-birth

we're OK, babe is nameless but thriving tho only 37 wk 4 days he was 3550g (7lb13oz) and I am slowly recovering

I want to post my birth story - here seems like the best place, with alink over from Birth stories - I'm feeling a bit fragile reading valiant VBAC and cruisy homebirth stories etc - so, soon!

[Peppermint]

Emmaline

Congratulations!:) :balloons :bouncy

[emmaline]

thanks jess! here's the tale, I may add more later

Baby X's birth story

June 17, 2003
I wake up at 3 am, nothing unusual in that, and realise my belly is twinging with a series of small sharp pains around the lower half. It feel like intestinal cramps. I manage to sleep a few more hours but wake at 7 am feeling crook - get up to start the morning's business but decide my husband will have to take over and go back to bed with a hot water bottle. He takes the boys to school then goes on to work. I lie there feeling progressively worse, feverish, chills, headache, cramps, diarrhoea. At midday I call my husband to come home and my obstetrician to leave a message about how I am feeling. Doc calls back later asking me to come in quickly so she can see what is happening. The kids, back from school, go next door and my husband drives to the hospital, slowly, as I am very weak and dizzy.
Up in the delivery suite the monitor shows I am contracting regularly (just felt like big BH to me) and my doc puts up a saline drip for rehydration. She feels my belly - very tender in right and left lower quadrants, she can't rule out appendicitis and recommends c-birth (as my others have been) straight away. We have discussed this at length in the past and I agree. Baby is 37 weeks and 4 days and a good size already.
Across the hall I'm wheeled into theatre. The anaesthetist is someone I trust. I've requested a general anaesthetic to avoid the horrors I had with epidural/spinal last time. The room fades out and next I'm awake in great pain. They're having trouble getting pain relief organised and it takes several minutes. Meanwhile M is across the hall with the baby, our third son, born at 8:56 pm weighing 3550g (7lb13oz) and the paediatrician who pronounces him healthy and whole, though he's having a little extra work breathing. M is worried what will the baby be fed in the special care nursery overnight - but I've prepared the way by making sure on meeting the staff beforehand that they know my feelings about anything other than my colostrum and breastmilk passing his lips, and it's well documented with red flags all over the paperwork.
Things get a little morphine-hazy for me now but my son is assisted to his first breastfeed soon after and then I sleep.

[ladylee]

emmaline, bless your heart!!!! Congratulations on the birth of your SON! I hope you're feeling better and better and that you both get settled in very soon. :hug Look forward to hearing more when you're up to it.

[ladylee]

Hi Cloverlove-thanks for sharing your story-I wish you much healing. I didn't have any bladder problems after my first C-hopefully someone will have some insight to share with you. :hug


its_our_family-congratulations on being a good candidate for a VBAC.

Avonlea-you go. I'm right there with you competing for the biggest PITA patient award. I'm also bringing my own clothes and pillows and diapers-ANYTHING I decide I want/need to make myself more comfortable!

I'm planning to have her placed on my chest asap & want to start nursing ASAP. Isabel roomed with me the first time around & that was great-we'll do the same with Alena. I'm still undecided about whether to have an epi or a spinal-I think I'm leaning toward epi because I don't want to be out of it as long. I didn't like staples the first time around-the incision opened and I have a big scar. Will definitely be asking the doctor to try and do a better job. I'm bringing a boppy pillow with me-it was challenging using hospital pillows to do a football hold.

[Avonlea]

I am glad to see I am not going to be the ONLY woman in the hospital here who is telling staff "Nope, not gonna do it'..when it comes to certain things.

I am not TRYING to be mean or anything..but I have a feeling before it is all said and done that I will be one of those patients they cannot WAIt to get rid of!


I am also adding a specific clause as to the fact that I will NOT see the other ,so called, Lactation consultants! I will only see the original and bets trained one. If they send the other ones into my room I shall send them right back out!!

Because of them, I know of at least TWo young women who had babies at that hospital and were given a WHOLE slew of crap info about breast feeding, and now one is no longer nursing her four month old son as she was told she just did not "make enough" milk.

Well..DUH! If you tell the young woman to only nurse on each side for five minutes and then use three ounces of formula..and you don't tell her to nurse on demand but do it on a three hour schedule and watch the clock the entire time....now what do you THINK is going to happen???????

So her supply diminished until she was more and more needing formula to feed her little boy..and it just makes me ANGRY when I think about it.


Um...so enough of that.suffice it to sy that I shall NOT be speaking to this woman( lc) except to tell her she is doing amajor disservice to woman of the community and that she is not welcome in my room or near my child or my breasts.


SO THERE!:demon !!!

I also have a " the baby is NEVER to be alone with the staff" clause"...meaning that either I, my Husband or My Mother is to be with my child no matter what the circumstances.

I feel for that one last time...fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me!"

There are other things..like how picky I am going to be about food( my poor mother will be thinking I am crazy before it is all done and over with) and also about how soon I will have a guest come to my room.

With my son Ihad guests to see us a few hours after the surgery and before I was ready to see anyone. I was still all sweaty and had vomit in my hair and I hurt..and mY Mother in Law had to be one of the first ones to come and see us..and give me these pearls of wisdom...

" You Better get This Kid On A Schedule RIGHT AWAY Before He Takes Over Your Life!'

This said to me with her bright red manicured nail pointing in my face and her face chomping away on a huge piece of gum..and her whiney teenage son complianing becasue I asked him to go out into the hall to eat because the smell of food wwas making me feel very much like vomiting again( and I had done enough of that for two days, thank you)...

needless to say this was NOT a moment I want to relive the second time around..and the shit may very well hit teh fan should she decide to reinact some of her past behaviors.

I might actually TELL her to" get her fat , Gum Cracking Ass OUT of my room!!!!!!!Instead of just thinking it as she scrapes her red, plastic nail donw my tiny babys face and he shudders and I fill up with anger.

It is NO wonder even after two doses of magnesium sulfate my BP would not go down..despite the fact that my son was born already!

My FIl Passed out DOG treats to people in town and told them it was home made jerky.." here, take This..I am a GRAMPA!"

Heaven Help me.


So..No..People( except my mom and my son and husband) can just stay home that first day and then come and see me either the next day or even better..once I get home.

I will just have the HUGEST reputation as a total pain in the butt!..I think I might enjoy it as well.....:love

[detergentdiva]

Originally posted by ladylee
quick ? for those who've had more than one c delivery--are the incisions typically made at the same site?

I'll post more after I'm done reading all the threads but wanted to answer this question.

I've had 3 sections and a hysterectomy from the adhesions from the sections. Each time what they do is cut out the old scar and remove that. So not only are you delivering yur baby but you are getting a free tummy tuck :wink

[detergentdiva]

Wow, so many of you have my story..

DS #1 was a failure to progress with rapid heart decels. They iduced me at nealy 3 weeks over my due date. They did a non-stress to find that I only had a quarter size area of fluid. Once my water was ruptured everything went downhill.
We were rushed back for the section with the nurses hand stuck inside me stimulating ds.
He came out peeing all over the dr. and all was well. Hospital olicy was that I go to recovery till I can lift my butt, baby goes nicu, dh was with him them he was brought to me. REcovery was well, you know about that.

With ds #2 I had planned on a vbac. Wanted that "womanly experiance" Went into labor, labored at home for roughly 24 hours. Was in sever pain, throwing up, can't even keep water down, went to the dr and cried when he said I was barely 1 cm. Went across the street to be monitored, was having "real contactions" and it didn't make sense why I was not progressing. The pain was getting worse, they feared I was rupturing, another section. Turned out I had adhesions from the first section that were being stretched beyond belief, causing the pain that caused the contractions.
He was born at 37 weeks, everything was fine, had a small part of the incision open up and they sent me home with homecare, dh was lucky enough to have to pack the wound for about a week. I also had a nerve knicked in the groin. I had sharp shooting pains down my leg for about a week or so, now the left area of my bikini lines is totally numb. Talk about weird when I'm shaving even 4 1/2 years later.

DD#3 This is where we had problems. At 7 weeks pregnant I started having lower quadrant pain. We thought I was mc'ing but everything was fine thankfully. The pain though did not stop. As I got further along the nagging pain became worse and we suspected adhesions again. At about 20 weeks I was put on terbutilane to stop the contractions the pain was causing. At about 25 weeks I was put on pain medication. From 30 weeks on I was in and out of the hospital due to the pain. They would get it controlled, send me home, then I would be back in. I spent the remaining 3 weeks on demerol. I was brought in at 33 week 2 days, we did an amnio and it was not good, ob planned on a friday section, dh brought me back to the hospital on Wed and said he was not bringing me home till after dd was born.
When my ob opened me up he knicked my intestines, they had adhesed to my scar. DD was delivered and doing good. While waiting for the general surgeon to come repain the knick, he decided to look around and it turned out that the majority of my intestines where literally smushed up against my back, it was no wonder I was in so much pain.
Recovery was normal with no additional issues. DD did not do well, with in a couple hours she was transferred to a level 3 nicu and placed on a vent. I woke up in terrible pain with a tube down my nose and my dd across town. She was brought back to me 2 days later and placed in the nicu where I was and we were both discharged one week after she was born. She was re-admitted a few days later and spent several weeks in the icu on a vent fighting for her life.
When she came home for good she thrived well, and I'm very proud to say even with all the problems we both had she never had a single drop of formula. While on the vent she received my bm through her ng tube.
Even after she was born I continued to have the lower quadrant pain. After much consideration and the continued need for pain medication I reluctantly opted for a hysterectomy. Once again when my ob opened me up my bladder was adhesed to my right fallopian tube which was adhesized to my right ovary which was adhesized to my uterus, causing the pain. They remove the uterus, right tube and ovary, leaving me with the left ovary so I still get the hormones as if everything was still there.
I still have twinges of pain every now and then but not nearly as bad as before the last surgery. Which also had the benefit of the tummy tuck, since I had lost most of my pregnancy weight, my ob was able to make things look nice.

Do I regret things, sometimes. Especially when I read some birth stories. I have to keep reminding myself that my body just doesn't work right :(
When I was preggo with dd we had decided that we were done having babies, things were just to hard. I had a tubal at the time. Afterwards my ob told me it was a good decision if I were to get pregnant again I probably would not survive it.
I was ok with the tubal knowing if I really wanted to get pregnant there were other options to accomplish this.
Having had the hysterectomy has been difficult it signifies an end to things.

I don't scar much at all on the outside so the amount of adhesions were not what I would have expected. I also am a nurse and I know that these are normal but I just didn't expect what happened. In talking with my ob whom I highly respect he was telling me that he is seeing an increased amount of women with the same problems and an increased amount of hysterectomies due to the same issues.

When talking with people who have had sections I always recommend they try for a vbac. Just for health reasons for both mom and baby. I'm not a militant when it comes to vbac's but I also think that it should not be offered just because. I am 100% for sections when they are needed but not because "I just don't want to go through labor and delivery" I never understood that one.

So that's our story. My body doesn't work, I wish I knew what it was like to have my newborn laid on my chest and I wish I could have breastfeed my child when they were minutes old. I wish I could understand what that "powerful" feeling is that they all talk about.
But I am forever grateful that I have 3 beautiful and healthy children and that I am here to watch them thrive and grow.

[Peppermint]

Can someone point me in a direction to learn about adhesions? Or tell me all you know about it? I had never heard of it until being on here. I've had the 2 sections and will have many more (God willing) and I am wondering why I've never heard about this. Never had any unusual pain during my last pregnancy, but have had a strange pain during ovulation in between baby #2 and this pregnancy. Prior to having children I had ovulation discomfort, one-sided, totally normal. Now after the 2 sections, I have a pain right at the incision site, and all lower abdomen, it becomes very very sensitive to the touch when I'm ovualting, but no pain otherwise. Could this be adhesions? Does everyone who has a sections get adhesions? I have seen my OB about the ovualtion pain and he said it was normal with a previous c-section, but never said exactly what it was.

Sorry to be off topic, but I'd like to know more about adhesions.

[detergentdiva]

adhesions are a form of scar tissue and the best way to describe them is they are like a rubberband. They stretch and release an your body moves. Most have problems with pregnancy because they get stretched so badly. Mine were stretched so much that they were completely thinned out like a rubberband nearing the snapping point.

Most will have them around the incision site, sometimes they will migrate to areas surrounding the incision. Not one specific group of people is more likely to have them and not everyone who has a section will have them.

For me they got worse with each pregnancy and surgery. Even the surgery to correct the problems created more.

What I tell people is to be aware of your body. Learn to know the twinges/pain. If you start to deveop a lot of pain in your pregnancy this is usually the cause and make sure you dr realizes that you are a prime candidate for adhesions. I had an awesome ob who treated me even though I was pregnant. Some ob's will not treat a pregnant women medically for pain.

Your ob probably did not want to go into detail about the possibility of adhesions. Many will clean you out in the following sections. If they are bad then they will typically recommend no more kids.
For me we knew I would not be able to carry another baby, a pregnancy would be life threatening to both of us and we saw this first hand with the delivery of dd.

Try not to stress over it but be aware of the potential of problems.

[Peppermint]

Thanks Linda,

I won't worry too much, but I will question the Dr.:D

When they opened me up the other 2 times all my OB ever said afterward was that she checked me all out and all was healthy and good to go for another pregnancy, hopefully this time it will be the same, but I would want to know if they might have to "clear" something out during the c-section, I always think, it's just a section, nothing bad will happen, no comlications please. Funny they never really tell you the complications before hand, not that it would've mattered in my case, but it's good to know, the only thing I was ever told was about the risk of uterine rupture.

[ladylee]

Hi Linda-thanks for sharing your experience and information-I also appreciate it.

I just read a blurb in epregnancy about new cesarian techniques-has anyone heard of this?

"...(it) takes about 20 minutes and leaves out several traditional steps now thought to be unnecessary. The technique, developed by doctors from the Vienna General hospital, has been tested successfully on 1000 women over two years. Women lose half as much blood, and only three layers require stitching instead of seven with the new technique. Blood flow is less compromised & fewer stitches mean fewer adhesions, etc. etc...."-Kathy Summers, epregnancy, May 2003

I'm definitely asking about this next week.

[bekahe]

Hello to everyone. I am brand new here and looking for advice on a birth plan for a c-section. Do any of you have samples that you would be willing to share? It's hard to find a Natural and Family Friendly plan for sceduled c-sections. I want to be big pain in the butt myself at my tiny, hick-town hospital, but want my wishes to be met, no shots, nursing, baby never leaves me, etc. Oh, I have required c-sections due to a pretty extensive Myomectomy to remove fibroids when I was 20. Thanks in advance. :)

[ladylee]

Hi bekahe-when are you due? I don't have a formal plan yet-just planning to put my wishes in writing. My doctor understands her part, I just need to jot things down for the staff.

[bekahe]

I am due the 30th of August and will probably have the c-section a week or so before. I know the basics of what I want, just wondered if anyone had any thing on paper. It is a new hospital I am in (we just moved) and so far, I am not impressed. They are very backwoods!!

[detergentdiva]

When you are doing your birth plan find out what the hospital policies on c sections are.
I know for our hospital You don't get to hold the baby until you can lift your butt. I hated this one tremendously but to them it is a liability, I kind of understand. You have just had major surgery so you are not very steady plus the whole numbing thing.
I really had my hopes up on breastfeeding ds #2 right after he was born and was horribly let down when I was told there would be no way.
Although I really like my OB and trust him fully I did also ask others at the hospital about their regulations to be sure I was getting a straight answer and not just a CYA answer.

Same thing for the curtain down during surgery. This makes the "sterile field dirty" and althogh it in itself won't cause a problem if God forbid something did happen it is one of those things that can be blamed and the dr can be sued for. So once again our hospital has a no policy on this as well.

I personally feel that since having a section puts us at a huge disadvantage for what we want the biggest and most important thing to do is discuss everything with your SO and make sure HE is not only aware of your desires but supportive and has the juevos to stick up for you and your baby.
That child is HIS/HER sole responsibility for those first couple of hours. He needs to follow to the nursery/nicu and not let that child leave his site. He needs to make sure that neither bottle nor pacifier touches that child and if yu do not want the vit k it is his responsibility to be sure that this does not happen.

So I guess my advice in writing your birth plan is to be sure that your #1 advocate is fully aware and ready and willing to face the potential challenges that will be placed on him while you recover.

[emmaline]

I know for our hospital You don't get to hold the baby until you can lift your butt. I hated this one tremendously but to them it is a liability, I kind of understand. You have just had major surgery so you are not very steady plus the whole numbing thing.

what on earth are the hosp staff for??if you are postop and numb or nutty why can't they be there and HELP??? with my first c-birth I held my son on the table while they sewed me up, not so with theothers due to problems intra-op but they handed my boys over asap and helped me to bf as many times as it took till I could do it myself

keeping you from your baby is bad and wrong AND unnecessary, a little assistance is all that is required

[detergentdiva]

Originally posted by emmaline
what on earth are the hosp staff for??if you are postop and numb or nutty why can't they be there and HELP??? with my first c-birth I held my son on the table while they sewed me up, not so with theothers due to problems intra-op but they handed my boys over asap and helped me to bf as many times as it took till I could do it myself

keeping you from your baby is bad and wrong AND unnecessary, a little assistance is all that is required

I totally agree with you on that. You should have seen me the first time around, talk about a basket case. It is a very unsettling feeling to have just gone through what I consider he!! and back and then not be able to hold your child or even see your child for several hours.
DH was given the boys once they were born and had their apgars done, dd was a preemie, and he was able to stay with them, hold them, watch them, etc. But the hospital policy is that for liability reasons the mother may not hold the child until she is able to move. With as strict as they are with it I tend to believe they were sued over an incident, don't really know, but everyone I know who has had a section at the same hosp. had the same experiance, and when talking with the staff there it is their policy, not just a dr preference.

[NoahLev]

Hi! I am was so glad to see this thread. Being of a more "natural" persuasion, it can be hard to feel validated as a c-section birth in the usual places one goes for like-minded support.

Sorry if you are all sick of birth stories, but, like I have seen a few of you say, I really haven't gotten to share mine and all its attendent feelings very much. Also, excuse some brain jumbles --it's almost 2 A.M.!

My little boy is almost 9 months old now. I went into labor right on my due date -- the alarm clock went off at 6:50 and I though "Oh, well, I guess I'll go to work", and I rolled over to turn it off and my water broke. I had had contractions all day the day before and woke up all through the night, too. We went to the hospital around 8:30. My OB was not on call (very sad). The one who was was a partner in her practice. I had seen him the week before for my regular check up, and wasn't thrilled. I have a very hard time with exams (not like anyone likes them, though), and he wasn't that supportive or nice about it.

I was put on an IV because I had tested positive for Group B strep. Looong story short, I was in labor for 17 hours, almost 10 of them on Pitocin (BTW, I had to argue with the OB about that -- he wanted to start me on it when I was admitted, but I got them to wait until around noon). I had 6 (!!!) exams throughout the day. They came to the conclusion that my pelvis is malformed (he used the term "android," although I have yet to find a definition of that that doesn't involve robots) and the baby just wasn't going to fit. I also had effaced a little, but wasn't dilated even a single milimeter.

Just a note that I had no pain meds until the section -- DH and I had taken the hypnobirthing course, so I used it. I recommend it even for those planning c-sections. It's a life skill sort of thing.

The c-section was set for 10 p.m. The OB came in for a last check, which I just couldn't tolerate, and got upset during it, and asked to be allowed to go to the bathroom -- they had been pumping me full of fluids all day, and being attached to the IV and monitor meant I couldn't wander to the bathroom anytime I wanted. As I was going in, he snapped off his gloves and muttered something like "I guess it doesn't matter anyway" in a very disgusted tone. Also, I passed the nurse, who was on her way in to catheterize me. I went into the bathroom and wept, just bawled, for about 25 minutes. My mom went and talked to the nurse, who got permission from the OB to catheterize me after the spinal. That made me feel much better!

Anyway, I had the c-section. DH was by my head the whole time, and he saw DS pulled out, trying to shout before his chest was even out. He was taken away, but brought back quickly and handed to his dad, who held him so I could touch and see him. Unfortunately, I couldn't nurse right away, and I was a wreck that night; it was almost 2 AM by the time we were in our room, and I was wrecked from being awake and in labor for 21 hours plus the surgery and morphine. So that was stressful, and had a real impact on our ability to get started, but I held out and he was never supplemented, and today he's a healthy 20 lbs+!

One of the things I had the toughest time with was my feelings towards my doctor (he also tricked me into allowing him to circumcise my son without anesthesia, although it was right in my birth plan, which he told me he read). As soon as I could say I was mad and had a right to be mad, I felt much better.

Another problem was that it just took me by surprise -- my plan had been for a vaginal delivery, so I didn't know what to ask for -- the drape lowered so I could see, that DH could go with the baby while he was checked out, etc. -- and nobody told me. But I know for next time, and I will insist. We roomed in, though, and the nurses were great. (Another gripe about this OB is that he was rude to the nurses. Blech.)

I did feel as if I had done something wrong, and it took me a little while to sort out my feelings of disappointment in not having the birth I wanted from the anger toward the doctor, normal crazy feelings from being a new mom, and hormones.

The most important thing is that, to quote my mom, I got the prize -- a beautiful, healthy baby! And that is the ultimate goal.

Anyway, sorry for the novel. Whew, that felt good! :p

As for staples -- I had them, and though they freaked me out, having them removed was very easy and painless. My scar is almost invisible (even if it wasn't completely hidden by my tummy).

[PaganScribe]

I just had to share this, and this was the only place I could think of to do it. :)

My dh picked up one of my books the other day (Misconceptions, which is not my favorite, but hey; I was impressed he was reading it). I thought he was just bored and would read a little and then move on, but instead, he came to bed the other night really seeming to be in a down mood. After a little cajoling, I finally got him to talk to me.

He said, "I'm reading this book, and I feel like we were tricked during your birth." HUH? He's been so dismissive of my concerns in the past. (Now, I should say that while I am almost completely at peace with my section, I do have some concerns about my care through the whole pregnancy and birth.) He just had all kinds of things to say about the OBs way of doing things, and what he (not we, but he personally!) should have done differently during the whole thing. He says he feels like he wasn't the kind of support I needed. He says he wishes he'd been amenable to a midwife when I suggested switching midway through the pregnancy. He said he feels like he's not been giving me the kind of support I need now that the baby's here, and he certainly didn't right after the baby was born. He said he thinks back on the birth and only now realizes just how awesome I was (FWIW, my birth story is in the birth stories forum), and said he's sorry for not telling me before how awesome I am.

And then he asked if I still wanted to try VBAC with the next one (which, until now, he's been vehemently opposed to). He asked if I wanted to go with a midwife next time (we'll probably start trying within the next year), and try to find a birthing center rather than go back to the hospital. He asked if I wanted to get a doula next time. All these things that I had been talking and talking and talking about, now it's like all the sudden he gets it.

And he apologized for being dismissive, and for not being more understanding, and promised to try to do better next time.

Huh.

[Peppermint]

That's fabulous that your dh "sees" it all now. Thats how I felt when I finally convinced my dh not to circ any future boys, it's a great feeling when they finally "get" it. :)

[MelissaEvans]

Yeah Carrie! =)
My DH is slow to warm up to some ideas. Like the doula thing, he so didn't want to do it. I talked him into meeting a few, no obligation, and he grumblingly went along. Then we met Donna, and he was so excited! All for it!
Now I'm thinking about the next one (not preggo or even trying yet), and really don't want to go back to the hospital. I'm scared of it, but DS had breathing problems and such so even if *I* don't need it, the baby might. So I'm scared, but I'd actually like to try HBAC. At first, he put his foot down, absolute no. Now he's willing to talk to midwives and see if they have tools to help babies who are having problems. If he feels the baby can be treated if there's an emergency, I think he'll be OK with it. =)
Sometimes these men just come out of left field and suprise us! =)

[Avonlea]

I have a date for the surgery and MANY questions to ask.


The date is the eighth of August, and the questions are as follows:

What do I do now?

What should I expect to occur the second time?

I have an appointment to met with the anestisioligst on the day before the surgery..what will happen then?

What questions should I be asking?

And, anything else that could be helpful along those lines would be great. I have no reali idea what to expect.When I had my first section I had been in labour and etc for hours. I was tired and not really aware of all that was going on around me.It was, to put it nicely..a blur.

So..I am really kind of wondering now what this will be like. Can some one tell me a little ?:confused:

[jen and her girls]

Congrats on your date......it'll be here before you know it!

Anyway, as a mom who has had 3 c-sections, I can answer some of your questions.

What do I do now?
Get as much rest as you can....in a few weeks you won't be getting any at all. Make sure your hospital bag is packed. Get those tiny clothes washed and ready. Try not to be too nervous.

What should I expect to occur the second time?
My second c-section was a dream. I had a horrible labor and attempted delivery with dd#1, I was begging for a c-section after 22 hours. With dd#2 I told my OB that if I had to attempt a vaginal delivery I simply wouldn't have any more children. I had a date set (though my water broke a week early, so that changed a bit). But I was rested, I had eaten the night before, I was ready for what was coming. I did get very nervous as I climbed up onto the OR table, but my nurse was very kind. I felt like I wasn't ready, I wanted to run out of the room and have the baby another day. But once things got underway the surgery was quick, painless and an altogether pleasant experience. I got to hold my dd while on the table, and nurse her in the recovery room. It was so wonderful. And because I hadn't gone through labor and pushing first, there was really very little pain. My recovery was super fast. I was at the mall shopping 6 days after I delivered her, and was trick-or-treating with both kids 16 days after the birth. My body wasn't completely taxed and so the recovery was remarkably fast. I cannot say enough about the ease of a repeat c-section.

I have an appointment to met with the anestisioligst on the day before the surgery..what will happen then?
I don't think I had this either time, but I would imagine they will discuss any allergies you might have, possibly take blood for blood tests, tell you what they have planned for the following morning. One thing you may want to discuss is whether you want to have a spinal block or an epidural. I had an epidural with the first 2, but a spinal block with my 3rd (after 5 failed attempts to get the epidural to work). I strongly preferred the spinal block. It did it's job, blocked out all sensation for the surgery, but faded within a couple hours of the c-section. I prefer that because I want to start eating and drinking as soon as possible, as well as walking within the same day - it makes my recovery faster. The spinal block was so perfect for me - you may want to consider it an option.

What questions should I be asking?
You can have a birth plan for a c-section, just as in a vaginal delivery. Ask them if they will strap your arms down - if you don't want that done, tell them. Ask if you can hold the baby while still on the operating table. Does your husband want to cut the cord - will they let him? Tell them you want to nurse in the recovery room (if you do). Find out what happens if there should be some complication - would they take the baby directly to the NICU - would your husband need to go along as well? Find out when they will remove the epidural - if you want it out sooner rather than later, make that known. Basically, plan your ideal c-section and ask your OB to follow it as closely as possible without compromising your health or that of your baby. Just because it is a surgical delivery doesn't mean that you have no control over the way it goes. Your OB should be happy to make it the kind of experience that you want it to be.

I wish you all the best. I am sure you will have an easy and uncomplicated delivery. If you have any more questions that I can answer please feel free to e-mail me. jenostrum@comcast.net



:love

[MelissaEvans]

I read/heard somewhere that the OB is there for your tummy, the peds are there for the baby, but the anestisioligst is there for you. S/He could be the one taking pictures for you or something like that. I get the impression that after the epi/spinal is administered, they're kinda on the sidelines, so they can do stuff for you. =)

Good luck!

[Avonlea]

Does any one know how the placenta is removed ? I have been wondering about this for some time now. do they remove it through your incision or do they remove it vaginally during the surgery? How do they do it? I know it has to come out somehow.

I never thought to ask last time and this time I am kind of oddly curious about how that one thing works ( as well as a million other things..but oh well).

[Peppermint]

I cannot say with certainty, but I am 99% sure that they take it out through the incision.

[KKmama]

I remember this. And I still have my son's in the freezer! We moved across the country and bought a house recently. We're building him a playhouse very soon, and early this fall, we want to plant a quick-growing deciduous tree to the southwest of it (figure it will someday provide summer afternoon shade to him or his future siblings), and the plancenta will go into the hole before the tree.

I may have had a cesarean, but I made darn sure I got that placenta.

Kristine

[wwhippetcrazy]

I wonder if I can join here too....

I had a section with my first.....I won't go into details, but bascially 27 hrs of labour...and babe knew best...cord was short and in a knot and would have probably died in the canal...so needless to say I've never had an regrets with how Evelyn came into our lives. The section itself was good too...I was able to walk later that day, and nurse asap.....dh was with me the whole time.....and I too (I can't remember who said it) loved to see the look on his face when dr's delivered Evy. :)

It's looking like I will be having another section with my second (due yesterday) if things do not start moving along soon. Monday I have an appt to see dr again, he'll repture membranes and if that doesn't work, then we are looking at section.

I thought I would be upset if I have another section, but I feel very at peace with the decision....like so many of you have said (I didn't read all post) having my babe in my arms is all I want...no matter how he/she gets here.
Thank you Avonlea for posting your questions, as I have the same ones....and the answers help too :)

Anyways, just wanted to introduce myself.
Jen

[steffanie3]

I am so glad I found this support group. Here is my birth announcement, I posted in the June expectant moms thread and I don't think anyone read it.

Hi,

Ryan Allen came into this world on June 25th weighing in at a hefty 9 pounds 8.6 ounces and was 22 3/4 inches long!

He arrived via c-section, not exactly the unmedicated homebirth I had planned. I developed pre-eclampsia at the very end- the last week. My blood pressure was very high and I had protein in my urine, so we decided to go to the hospital and after two days of laboring and getting to 5 cm we did the c-section. I was/am kind of disappointed in what happened, they broke my water and that put me on a 24 hour time limit for a vaginal delivery which I was unaware of until after. I would have asked for a cervix ripener since I was at a 3-4 without even knowing it at the first check. I think that if I could have been up gravity would have helped me out, but my blood pressure went up if I was up for very long. They gave me pitocin in the morning before the surgery to see if stronger more frequent contractions would move things along, but after another day I was still at a 5 which I had reached before that stuff.

Anyway, we are delighted with our perfect boy- he is amazing.



I hope that I can learn from your expirences and share some of the hurt that I have felt and am sure that others have too.

Stephanie

[Peppermint]

Ryan sounds like such a blessing, I know not having your brith experience is a huge disappointment, esp. when you feel things could've been different, but, you have a wonderful healthy baby so I say :balloons Congratulations! :)