spotting and cramping: UPDATE lost the baby

[Thalia]

Lost the baby...see my third post in this thread for the complete update...

:crying

woke up this morning with some painful cramps and some spotting, brown and red. It is close to the time when I would normally have my period, but I didn't have this the first month.

We don't even have a prenatal care provider yet (still interviewing) so I guess I'm going to have to go to my RE or GP to have a blood test.

I'm definitely scared.

[tannersmommy]

Oh, I am so sorry. :( I will be thinking about you today and hoping for the very very best.:Hug

[snazzy_mom]

Good luck to you!! I went through the same thing this past weekend. Bleeding like AF was here but not too much cramping. I did call me RE and he got me in for an u/s and everything is fine. Did find out there were two, but everything looks good. I am sure you will be fine :)

[Thalia]

Thanks, guys, I hope everything is okay but I am worried. I called my GP and she told me to go to the emergency room to get checked out by the OB residents there. She said they would have much more experience than she would. I had some more pink spotting so I'm scared. :(

If you're one who prays, please pray!

[jessjillbolyer]

Your in my thoughts, I hope everything is okay!

[Bayda]

I've been having spotting since the beginning of my second month (I am three months now). My gynecologist said everything looks fine and there is nothing to worry about as long as the blood flow doesnt get heavier. He even said it is likely to continue in the coming months.

[swtpesq]

You are in my thoughts & prayers!!! :candle

[Octobermama]

I said a prayer for you, hubby and baby. Let us know!

[tempestjewel]

:1praying: for you and your baby Thalia. :Hug

[meggles]

Thalia~ :Hug :hug :sticky :sticky :sticky :hug :Hug
Please report back to us when you know more. I hope the ER visit goes well and that you get to see a happy :heartbeat to make you feel better. :love

[Zaxmama]

Thalia,
:hug I am thinking of you and hopign everything is going better,... please update when you can sweety!! :hug

Jaime

[ninafrijol]

I have been having spotting too. It's super scary. Just try and hang in there untill you can see in the ultra sound.

[BlissP]

Thinking of you...please let us know how you are as soon as you can!

[Thalia]

:crying :crying :crying

We went to the ER and had my blood drawn. After a few hours they were able to get into Fetal Diagnostics to have an ultrasound. At that point the bleeding had stopped so we were hopeful. They couldn't see anything with the abdominal u/s so they did a vaginal. We were able to see the baby but it was only measuring at six weeks 2 days, and although there was a fetal pole, there was no heart beat. :crying The baby had died.

So it's a "missed abortion", and we spent the rest of the day crying in the ER waiting to talk to a resident about it. She was very nice and explained our options, wait it out or D & C. She said we didn't have to make the decision today. We decided to just come home and think about it. We were both too exhausted to make a decision: neither of us had eaten anything all day, and although Mark was offered water and juice all day they wouldn't let me eat or drink anything until I was discharged, so we were both exhausted. On top of that, poor poor DH had a terrible toothache that began last night: we went straight to the dentist after the ER, and was able to get in and see someone: he may need a root canal. :(

We're home now and have told our families and just about all of our friends who knew (not many). We had just told two couples on Sunday about it; we're still in total shock.

We just want to thank all of you mamas for your support. We loved having this little turtle (it looked like a turtle on the u/s today, so that's how I've been thinking about it) and wouldn't change a minute of this pregnancy. We are very sad to lose this baby, but we know he/she is with Jesus now, and we feel God's love all around us, as well as the love of our friends and family. I wish we could stay with you in this DDC, but we'll be thinking about you and will be very happy for you in January, really and truly. We know our time will be coming soon, too.

Thanks, Julie & Mark

P.S. The ER folks all said that this kind of bleeding happens all the time with normal pregnancies, so if any of you have these symptoms, there's still lots of hope.

[Octobermama]

I am so sorry. Take care of yourself. I'll still keep you in my prayers.:hug

[MajaKatrina]

Thalia are you sure of your dates? what were you supposed to be?

I found this on the web-
Week 6 Gestational Age (Fetal age 4 weeks)

5 ½ to 6 ½ weeks is usually a very good time to detect either a fetal pole or even a fetal heart beat by vaginal ultrasound. The fetal pole is the first visible sign of a developing embryo. This pole structure actually has some curve to it with the embryo’s head at one end and what looks like a tail at the other end. The fetal pole now allows for crown to rump measurements (CRL) to be taken, so that pregnancy dating can be a bit more accurate. The fetal pole may be seen at a crown-rump length (CRL) of 2-4mm, and the heartbeat may be seen as a regular flutter when the CRL has reached 5mm.

If a vaginal ultrasound is done and no fetal pole or cardiac activity is seen, another ultrasound scan should be done in 3-7 days. Due to the fact that pregnancy dating can be wrong, it would be much too early at this point to make a clear diagnosis on the outcome of the pregnancy.

[Thalia]

Thanks, MajaKatrina.

I'm very sure of our dates. We had been TTC for a year, so we were doing temps and OPK tests and the whole deal, so I know when I ovulated, I know when my temps rose, etc. etc. And we only made love around my ovulation time this month. In fact, I ovulated a little late that month, but just three days late. Also, we had a blood test a week after I got my positive home test and my HCG levels and progesterone levels were in the normal range. But whether you measure from my last menstrual period or when I ovulated, the baby should have been measuring at least eight weeks and three days today, but on the u/s it was six weeks two days. :( And besides, they DID see a fetal pole, but no heartbeat. The doctor said that given the stage of development of the baby, the doctor who did the ultrasound should have been able to see a heart beat, but she didn't.

[mamallama]

I am so, so sorry.

[MajaKatrina]

I am so sorry :-(

Catherine

[5thAttempt]

I am very sorry. Please take care of yourself.

[geek_the_girl]

I am so sorry :hug

[geek_the_girl]

I am so sorry :hug

[geek_the_girl]

I am so sorry :hug

[Zaxmama]

I am so sorry sweetheart.. but I have to say you have a remarkable and positive attitude.. your obviously a strong woman with a caring devoted DH, and I will keep you all in my thoughts..:hug

[gribbit]

I am so sorry.:hug My thoughts are with you.

michelle

[meggles]

Thalia, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. You and Mark (and your little turtle) are in my thoughts and prayers. Your hope is inspiring and I am confident that you will conceive again very soon. :hug :hug :hug

[Marie29]

I am so very sorry for your loss :Hug

[*~Danielle~*]

Have you and your husband talked about what you are going to do? Thalia, I wanted to encourage you to let your body do what it will do over the next couple of weeks. If nothing happens, then go get another ultrasound before your d&c.

[Thalia]

Thanks, Danielle. We talked about it and also talked it over extensively with my dear sister, who is an OB/GYN 4th year resident in another state. The resident we saw in the ER was very good and very understanding and went over everything with us and answered all our questions, but it was good to talk it over last night with someone who loves us and was able to help us process it on a very personal level. She also answered, mostly without me even asking, all my unasked secret questions and fears, things like:

"Was it wrong for us to wait as long as we did to find a care provider?" Her answer, "absolutely not! That was just fine."

"Was it okay that we were planning to use a nurse-midwife?" Her answer: "Absolutely! They do births all the time and that's what they specialize in. They give great care and they are able to spend lots of time with you that an OB couldn't."

"Was our choice to birth in an alternative birthing center attached to a Level II perinatal unit a good one?" Again, she said, "Yes, absolutely, Level II is great, they could always transfer you if you needed Level III, alternative birthing centers are great, it's so great that you can move around and not be strapped down to anything, etc. etc".

"Could the miscarriage have been caused by toxoplasmosis from our dear cat?" Her answer, "No way. You've had that cat for 18 years and been cleaning his litter box for 18 years and there's no way that an acute case of toxo caused this. It's not Wilder's fault, and it's not yours either. Please wipe that off your worry list."

In the end, she said our best options were to wait it out or have a d & e, a surgical evacuation. She thought at our stage they could just the the evacuation and not an actual curottage. She said there were some risks but she really really truly felt they were very small. She didn't recommend Cytotec, but to be honest, I don't remember why--I think in case it caused things to happen so quickly that we would have to have the D & E anyway, or risk excessive bleeding and/or an emergency trip to the ER. She said that it was totally up to us and whatever was right for our family. She said that if it happend to her, she would lean towards a D & E just so that she would not have to wait and wonder when it would happen. Of course she's a resident and has crazy working hours, so it makes sense that that would be the right choice for her. She said that if we waited, we should get checked after 2 weeks just to make sure there was no infection. She said lots of other wonderful, comforting encouraging things, and I'm so glad that there are mamas out there who get to have their babies delivered by her and their losses acknowledged by her. :love She's a great OB and it's good to know there ARE some good ones out there, isn't it?

We talked about it and I was leaning toward a D & E, but we decided to sleep on it. Then very early this morning I started to bleed again, and had some painful cramping (my sis said I could take a double dose of ibuprofen to help with the pain) and then the baby and placenta passed naturally. I had read some very helpful threads on MDC about pregancy loss, and that really helped--we knew what to expect. I was glad to have a chance to say goodbye without too much pain, intervention, or another day in the ER. Now both Mark and I can just rest and wait for the bleeding to stop.

It also made me feel grateful for my body. Initially I felt kind of betrayed by my body, not for the baby dying, but for my body holding onto it for 14 days after it died, without me knowing. When the resident checked me today, my cervix was still tightly closed, so we weren't sure that I would pass anything anytime soon. But after talking with the doctor who did the ultrasound and my sister, it looks like the corpus luteum had just started to disintegrate today (they saw fluid on the ultrasound near my left ovary) and that's why my body just now realized that the baby was dead: my corpus luteum had been doing it's job and pumping out hormones to support the pregnancy, and had finally reached the stage when, if the baby was healthy, the cyst could have gone away on it's own, which it did. Then, without the feedback of the HCG from the baby, my body realized something was wrong and began to spot. And then, half a day later, my cervix did dilate and without excessive bleeding was able to pass everything. So I feel a lot of love now for my body, working hard and doing everything it could to help. Know what I mean? My ovary did what it needed to do, my placenta did what it needed to do, and so did my cervix. Now I just need to wait and let my heart and mind catch up with all of this.

Anyway, sorry this is so long, and perhaps too detailed, but it's helpful to post here and have some final closure. We really do feel in the center of God's mercy right now, and although I'm sure we will continue to grieve, and of course we will always remember this baby, I also feel hope. :heartbeat

Thanks again for all your support, mamas.

Julie and Mark

[Neldavi]

I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope you get the support you need during this time.
:hug

[mommy2boys]

I'm very sorry for your loss

[jessjillbolyer]

I am so sorry to hear this. I am so sorry for your loss. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

[deleria]

Mama, I'm very sorry for all that you've been through.

We had our first baby in 1996 and a year later were TTC again. It took three years for me to get pregnant (I have PCOS) and seven weeks to lose the baby - a blighted ovum, as they call it. We were absolutely heartbroken, so I really do understand that level of pain. There's something so terrible about pregnancy loss when you tried so hard to achieve it :hug

I was happy to find out that one miscarriage does not increase your chances of further miscarriages. We took a few months off to grieve and then resumed TTC#2. My signature tells the rest of the story :heartbeat

Our loss was a very dark spot in my life and it took me a good while to feel ok again. But I did, and you will too, in time. Just allow yourself plenty of time to feel your loss and to heal. Talk it out with your partner, do some writing if it helps, and even find a support forum or local group where you can share your feelings if you feel that would help.

Sending hugs from Canada :hug

[swtpesq]

I'm so sorry for your loss...I know how hard it is, but it seems like you have some great perspective and a lot of faith. I wish you peace, strength and health!

[*~Danielle~*]

Oh, Thalia. My heart aches for you and your husband. Thank you for sharing. What a blessing inspite of the trauma to not have to go through a medical procedure. :hug

[tempestjewel]

:hug Thalia. I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

[JesiLynne]

:hug I will be praying for you

[mrsfatty]

:hug I am so sorry for your loss!

There's nothing wrong with sharing your story--I'm so sorry this is happening to you!

If you need anyone to talk to about your miscarriage, please feel free to pm me (my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage--writing my story and talking with other moms who had been through the same thing as I had helped me through my mourning process).

[BlissP]

:hug I am so sorry. I am amazed at your strength.

[sunisshining]

:grouphug I am so sorry for your loss.

[wordyeight]

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. They've been a comfort to Thalia and me as we grieve this loss. Even though we are very sad, we trust that God will give us another chance at this. I'm sure the waiting and uncertainty will be hard, but we have faith nevertheless. Meanwhile, blessings to all of you, and best wishes for healthy and happy babies, moms, and dads.

[meggles]

:hug Thalia :hug wordyeight :hug
Thinking of you both and sending you love and strength.

[kat85]

I am s sorry for your lose, you are in my :1praying: