Part 2...40+ with babies & small kids

[Tracy]

I started a thread for moms like me.... over 40 who have small children. I had my glorious son at the ripe age of....drum roll... 43.

There are others who are thinking about a new little one, who are on the cusp of 40, who wonder...hmmm...do I have it in me?

There are others who got a lovely surprise in their mid40s...

and there are others like me who didn't find their husband until they were older. I was 38 when I met my husband so after time together, marriage etc...well, I was 41 when I got married, pregnant at 42 and baby at 43.

What can I say, when I was in college I also waited until the last night to write my term papers..... Who knew I would treat marriage and children the same way I treated my term papers.... just barely squeaking in. BUT SO GLAD I DID!!!!

Anyway, our other thread is sooooo long that I thought we might benefit by a new one...

for new ones checking us out here is the link to the other thread...

http://216.92.20.151/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27665&perpage=20&pagenumber=1

[TigerTail]

hehe, you think you may have another? (evil me!)
at 40, i am considering it in a couple years- on hard days, i think i'm crazy- when everything is great, it's like, god, how lucky can i be to have these babies now? and another sounds terrific! (but only in a couple of years- like, when max is three! i need a break!)

when i need a daily care nurse i've told my dh THEN he can find the girl of his dreams (as long as she is kind, & changes me regularly. and i want nice, big fuzzibuns- no disposables!)

sorry, i need to face it with a bit of black humor... it is helpful that he has gone bald and looks older than me. still, i'm saving up for that face-lift! (for me, not him :D )

i feel very vital with these babes- everything but my knees and back (and as a gardener, i was losing those anyway.)

suse

[rainsmom]

Hi, Im going to be 45 next week (!) and have a 2yearold dd. I too met my dh and got married at 38. I have a ds who is 25 from a previous marriage when I was 19. So we werent planning on having children. THen we both started having the same dream about a little girl with dark curls. It got us talking, then after much agonizing and decisionmaking we deciding to do it. It has really changed us in so many ways. RIght now she is waking every hour and I havent gotten much sleep. I never seem to have enough energy for her, and now I feel even less! I know its just a phase, but this has been a really hard time for us! My ds slept thru the night at 2 weeks!

well, just wanted to post a little. I started a thread like this last year that was "moms over 40", and they finally retired it after 10pages! Glad to see it back!

[kaje62]

does she have dark curls?

[rainsmom]

Yes............and her soul lights up and fills the room!:heartbeat :heartbeat

[Tracy]

If we had a little bit more dough in our lives and if I was just two years younger we wouldn't hesitate at all.
But right now...hmmmm.... we think no more.
and we're not shooting for more... but if one came... we would be welcoming.

rainsmom, i'm so glad to see you here. I thought the other thread was getting too long but I don't know if it made it to 10 pages like your previous thread..phew!

I just weaned my son so I feel a real passage. Like this is it. We're done with that part of my life. Wow.. when I was nursing it was seeming like forever, but now it seems so short. Don't mind me.. I think that is my hormones talking...

[rainsmom]

Thats funny you mention weaning, I was just talking to another over 40 mom and we are both trying to selfwean....though neither of our dds are anywhere near close to it.

When I have long nights like last night with nursing marathons, I sometimes wish it would end or lighten up some. But I know this is my last and I will definetly miss it when it stops.

My sis told me that she is glad she nursed her dd so long (2.5yrs) as now she is 22 and they are really close. She attributes that to extended nursing.

I try to keep that in mind......

[emmaline]

trabot thanks for asking me to check in!

I'm in the lovely surprise category but I'll claim early rather than mid 40s:D my kids are now 12 and 5 and I'm 23 weeks with #3

this pregnancy was rocky for me at first, since I've had a few m/c including last March, and years of secondary infertility after ds1 AND I really didn't think we'd have another one so the surprise took quite a while to be "lovely"

anyway the rocky start is over and I've been posting less because there doesn't seem to be much to chew over! physically things are looking up though I still don't have enough oomph to exercise, or even walk the boys to school like I usually do and emotionally my keel is more even (some days are just tears from start to finish, but that's normal for me in pregnancy - reading about weaning really gets me teary!)

I keep having these little voices speak up within wondering how on earth a new baby is going to fit in to our lives but I know that won't become obvious till we meet him or her and find out who s/he is!

one of the big pluses for me this time is that I will not be afraid tp mother just as I see fit - ds1 bf till 12 months and co-slept half the time, ds2 bf till 3.5 years and still co-sleeps all night every night, dc3 will ????? who knows???

good to catch up with everyone!

[kaje62]

please check out this thread and if you have any interest, let patricia know

http://216.92.20.151/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=44400

[Mamaste]

I'm chuckling because it's so nice to know there are other 40+ers out there who want more! We are sooo in love with life with a 20-month-old that we think we simply can't avoid having another. :love

There are 7 years between DD and her big brother. I've always been a fan of larger age gaps, but now I'm wondering if we shouldn't go ahead and try for 3 years apart instead of 4 or 5, since I'm in my 40s. We don't worry too much about secondary infertility -- we got pregnant this last time after one week of not trying, just not trying *not* to, if you KWIM. I know things could always change, but my cycle is finally back (still nursing like mad) and it acts more normal and predictable than ever. :rolleyes: I'm sure everyone will think we've gone mad if we have another ... Who knows? Maybe we'll have two! :LOL

[steph]

If we had a little bit more dough in our lives and if I was just two years younger we wouldn't hesitate at all.

oh, i hear you trabot! i often feel the same way - now that dd is 21 mos. i look at babies and think "oh how sweet that time was..." like you if it happend we'd be fine with it, but we're not actively trying... i'm going to be 45 this year and days when i'm feeling tired and low, the thought of no sleep, infant and busy toddler makes me glad we only have 1!

[rainsmom]

Are you guys serious! I turned 45 on Friday.......dd is 2 and 3months...I barely have energy to keep up with her! Thank god my dh is 7 years younger than I am......or we could never keep up! I cant imagine having another! I couldnt physically do it.....

You guys must have help......no?

[Tracy]

no help. that's why I say, if I was two years younger......
if I got more dough and help then maybe ...
i turned 45 three months ago.

[Mamaste]

Pregnancy was a lot harder this last time. That puts me off sometimes when I'm thinking about having another. The recovery period was also not fun, but it was complicated by mastitis and thrush. I dunno, I'm thinking that toddlerhood is a lot harder on my temper than pregnancy, childbirth and recovery was on my body ... :rolleyes:

[rainsmom]

I agree! Definetly challenging.......

[TigerTail]

with two in diapers i would be insane w/out my 16 yr old dd; she can be a pain (sassy! argh!) but what a sweetie she is to her little brothers (and how well she gets paid for it :rolleyes: ok, not what i'd pay an au pair, but more than i can afford. thankfully her vices are confined to armani etc from ebay.)

suse

[Mamaste]

Having a much older child to help is definitely a lifesaver! :thumb My 9-year-old DS is a great helper -- not much in the diapering and direct care department, but superb in the monitoring for safety and keeping distracted areas. While we were at a gathering of local AP families at a park earlier this week, someone remarked that she had never seen an older child be not only so accommodating to a toddler but being downright welcoming. He's da bomb! :love :jammin

[lucimomster]

Hi Trabot and Mamaste, it's me from the Spirituality Board! And hello to other mamas whose names look familiar but I can't quite peg from other threads!

It's nice to find a new thread (new to me, anyway) where I fit. I turned 42 last week, and I've got a 33-month-old and a 13-month-old, both boys. I fit in the "married late" category, although I'd run through one marriage and two other near-marriages before I got to this one ... and thank GAWD I didn't have children with any of those people! I always say "there isn't enough therapy money in the world for the kids I would've had back then!"

Originally posted by Mamaste
... toddlerhood is a lot harder on my temper than pregnancy, childbirth and recovery was on my body ...

This quote pegs me: During each of my pregnancies, I felt stronger, healthier, and happier than I ever had in my life. And my second son's birth (my first was a c/section) made me feel INCREDIBLE -- my doula pronounced me a Birthin' Warrior Goddess, and I'd almost be willing to tattoo that moniker on my otherwise-unmodified skin!

The fact that both my boys are still in diapers is one thing ... but tandem nursing, while it has its great joys and certainly enormous benefits for my children, now THAT can really be hard. I mean, hey, they're literally sucking the life force outta me ... while I fit into jeans that I haven't seen since before my marriage, some days are tougher on my emotional state than others. (Thank god for homeopathy!)

#1 son was planned, hoped-for, and arrived only one month later than we hoped for after we started trying. #2 son "snuck in" while we were on vacation (you know that Disney vacation, "our little souvenir"? that's about it) and #1 was only 10 months old. Yikes!

I had planned on having a second child, but I definitely didn't plan on them being THAT close in age. If you'd have asked me if I was going to have another, back then, I may have even said I wasn't sure: that c/s took alot out of me, combined with a scary pregnancy (problems seen on #1's ultrasound) and #1's having to have surgery to "correct" those problems when he was 6 months old. I know my DH certainly wasn't sure he was willing to "risk" my going through another childbirth.

Happily, I've got a great DH, and he wasn't nearly as freaked out about #2's conception as I was. But then again, he goes off to work every day and I carry the bulk of the childrearing -- I could see, with the first one, how adding a second was going to be a HUGE change in my workload.

But he's also been a HUGE delight and a wonderful addition to our family, and #1 sometimes is so adorable with him that it outweighs the times when he bonks his little brother on the head! (Now that #2 is a more sturdy 1yo, I try to let them work it out together a bit more than I did earlier.)

As for a possible #3? Here again, I'm with Trabot: if DH and I were even a few years younger (he'll be 51 in a couple months), or had substantially more money in the bank (the idea of putting these two to college, much less private school beforehand, have essentially killed any hope for DH's retirement, and frankly, I may have to go back to work myself). When #2 turned 10 months and I realized that "anniversary" was back, I got all wistful for a week or two: I'd love to have a daughter, I think, and I was //THIS CLOSE// to a homebirth with #2 -- it would be heaven to have another pregnancy and birth, and even if I had another boy, I'd welcome him with open arms.

BUT but but but but ... the responsible adult inside me (she's gotta be in there somewhere, right?) says we need to stop. Happily for me, one of my dear friends just had a daughter, and her birth is pretty much a "corrective experience" from my first birth, so those wistful feelings have gone away for me *crosses fingers and knocks wood.*

But I've told my DH that I'm not giving away the baby clothes until he gets his little snip-snip, and he hasn't been willing to do that yet. So maybe he's got just a bit of wistfulness inside him, too, eh?

Anyway, I'll stop gabbing away. Thanks for the thread!

Luci

[*solsticemama*]

Hi all you mamas. Can I join you? I turned 40 today and am filled with gratitude for the blessings of my beautiful son who is 3 months old and my wonderful husband. Last night I dreamt that I was pregnant again--7 or 8 months! Hmm.

Apart from my back and knees I feel stronger and certainly more fulfilled than I felt in my early thirties. Heaving that carseat in and out of the car and carrying ds--who weighs more than 15 pounds--in the bjorn whenever we're out and when he's fussing at home has definitely contributed to this newfound feeling of strength. Not to mention I'm eating like a horse! Bfing certainly burns it up fast!

[Tracy]

lucimonster, what a nice surprise to see you qualify for this little group. You are filled with so much wisdom and gifts it is so nice to know you are one of 'our's'.

I of course, think you could have another one easily...haha I say... I know the money, the retirement depletion, the college educations...all that is heart stopping. But your age is totally 'do-able'.
I got pregnant with my son at 42. Had him at 43. You just turned 42.

I wish I would have started sooner. But I really wanted to wait six month after we got married. I just wanted some honeymoon time... ah.....actually I'm glad we did have that time because we haven't had one minute since july 2001.

I saw a friend today who had her son at 43. She is ten years older than me and she told me she started getting menopause at 49. I thought that was on the older side and she said "I had a baby late, I had menopause late." I hope she is right.

I am envious of those who had babies back to back....
I'm so dang jealous of Jerry Seinfeld's wife....but then...Jerry is closer to my age and he doesn't have to carry a baby in his waist.

skydancer....age 40 today!!! we shouldn't let you in...you are a baby. So, young. I bet you anything your dream is prophetic!
Don't give away the bjorn!!!

Welcome all....

By the way, I was watching the oscars tonight. Susan Sarandon looks great. Although, I think she has had some 'work' but you know what.... she had her last child at 46. So, she's A-OKAY with me.

:thumb

[kaje62]

I introduced myself on the last thread but lotsa new gals here so I will redo. I will be 41 when I have my new babe in August. I got married at 37 and had my first at 38 which ended in a c-section. I hope to VBAC with the next. And keeping up with a toddler while pregant is way harder than my old desk job. I am also heavy set but I am young at heart or I would not be able to pull this off. Glad to have all you new mommies. Welcome.

[glh]

Actually I think the average age for menopause is 52 (meaning one full year without menses). Perimenopause (irregular periods, fluctuating hormones, some symptoms of menopause) can start years earlier though. I'm 46 and no sign of either yet, I had my last baby at 44.

[barbara]

Hey hey, good to see a little community of 40 plusers. I had my last baby at 40 and am still hoping for another. We shall see what the universe has in store for us. :wink

-b

[*solsticemama*]

It's just after nine p.m. and I'm ready for bed. Actually I was ready an hour ago but a long nursing session and then the wish to have a little time with dh kept me from falling asleep while nursing. Would I be this tired if i were 10 years younger? Probably so here I am to say hi to all you mamas and hoping your week is going well. Dh threw me a great 40th birthday and it was made even more wonderful by our little one's presence.

Trabot--your post made me laugh out loud. This is probably the only place I would be considered a 'baby' in the motherhood realm :).

[kaje62]

Happy Birthday Skydancer. My brother and mil share your birthday.

[Tracy]

okay I went to our local barnes and noble for a children's book reading time. My son was so busy running around that I was left to listen to the story time so I could hold his spot..while dh ran around with son. My DS never really got the focus but all the time I was sitting there looking at the lovely lady reading the book, all I could think was..."Hmmm, I bet she is is 51 or 52."

Don't you hate that? when you find yourself wondering about a person's age.

So, I was drifting and not paying too much attention to her reading of Olivia the Pig...when for some reason she stopped and talked about something she remembered when she was a kid, and she says, offhandedly.."But I was born in 58 so you know it was a long time ago."

She is younger than me.

oh, my god...what do I look like?

These are those moments that are kind of hard....:eek

[glh]

i know what you mean. Everyone tells me I look young for my age, but realistically how long will that last? And why am I always blurting out my age in conversation-note to self stop doing that!

[simple gifts]

I keep forgetting how old I am, and having to add it up in public. I'm 43, will be 44 in August.

My son turns one on the 13th, and I think sometimes about having just one more. Although we have a ton of kids between us, the step kids live out of state, and the next youngest child in the house will be 10 in may. I had one daughter, had a 10 year gap, had three kids in 5 years, and then a 9 year gap.

Having had one basically only child makes me wonder if my littlest son would be happier with a sib closer in age. My oldest didn't suffer from being an only, and I don't think Jaden would, either. But I see the things the other three share, the good times they've had and how supportive they are, and I wonder if the baby should have a brother or sister for himself. The other guys have grown up so differently than he will.

I sure am tired, though. And sometimes it's the teens more than the baby.

[kaje62]

Can I look young and feel old?? I do.

[lucimomster]

It's called The Age Issue, and MAN does it home!

I haven't made my way through it all yet, but what I've read so far is GOOD!

Including the reminder: when we allow folks to tell us how "good" we look for our age, and that we don't "look that old," we're doing ourselves and all women a disservice: we should say "THIS is what 42 looks like!"

L

[Tracy]

Okay, I have a bit of a cold...so i'm a bit out of it and I'm working kind of hard on a job right now so I'm a bit tired and yesterday I was in overwhelm because I was juggling so much....but anyway, yesterday evening my husband and I and son went to the drug store to get some toiletries and a man who might be homeless but he certainly was a pan handler asked for some dough. My husband gave him something and he felt inclined to make small talk about our son...and then in the biggest double take he said, "are you the mother?"

my god, I've been dissed by a panhandler.

Once again, I have to say, I think I look worse than I think I look. If that makes sense?

one last thing...I hadn't showered and I had no make up on.
just had to say that.

[DebraBaker]

I am in the peculiar position of having had babies as a young mother and now as an older mother.

I'm 43 and have a just turned 4YO.

I am told I look good for my age (and having had so many children)

It's all relative but I've found having children older is easier in that I have more patience and perspective than I did as a young mom.

Debra Baker

[*solsticemama*]

It's been a relatively good day. Ds is asleep in the sling as i type this one-handed. I'm feeling on the tired side tho it's only early evening. I can't imagine taking care of an infant and a toddler despite pregnancy dreams. In the last one I was dressed all in blue and was already 8 months!! People kept smoking around me which was, to my dream self, irritating. Anyway hats off to all you moms of more than one little one.

On another note I haven't put any color/highlights etc. in my hair since becoming pregnant last year. Grey showing. Anyone know anything about semi-permanent color while bfing? Of course this is all in theory as is all the time on my hands to actually be able to do this :).

[ssmeest]

Hi Mamas,

Well, I'm 48 with an adorable 22 month old daughter! She came to us through adoption from Guatemala last March. Being a Mom has been the highlight of my life. I never thought I would find any job better than teaching, that was until Marianna came into my life. Now I can't imagine leaving her in daycare to go teach:-)

Now are you ready for this? We're thinking of adopting another baby!!!! Do you think I'm crazy?

Sandra

[barbara]

Sandra, of course I dont' think you are crazy!!! I'm sure your dd would love to have a sibling to grow up with!

My dear friend has a 3 year old dd that they adopted from Guatemala last year. It took over a year for the adoption to finalize but she is happily settled into their home now and I can't imagine their family without her! BTW my dear friend is 45 and pregnant, exptecting the end of June. :wink

[ssmeest]

Thanks Barbara, I needed that! You know, I don't feel (or look) 48, so it comes as a reality check when I think about my age. I still think of myself as being in my mid 30's. KWIM?

Sandra

[barbara]

yes Sandra I do know what you mean. I am 46 and dont' feel it in the least. I don't suppose I look it either as people are always surrprised that I am a grandma. :eek I seriously don't feel much older than my teenagers!

[Tracy]

how nice to see some postings here...especially today.
today I went to a baby shower. The first since my son was born almost two years ago.
Being around all those newborn clothes and baby stuff and talking about nursing and what not....well, it really kicked up the dust on wanting another baby. I'm 45. the thing that holds me back...really...is not the age...but the money. If we had a bit more I would feel better about it.
But my goodness.... if that changes in the very near future...well...I can dream.....

by the way, the shower was for my husband's best friend's wife. My dh is 14 years my junior. The mom to be was born in 73. Like many of us on this thread...I remember 73 very well. Ah, that's another thread.

[mommynay-nay]

Hello. I just turned 45. My boys are 7 and about to turn 4. I have enjoyed reading everyone's responses. I never in my 20's imagined that I would have so much love and delight in my life as I do now. My mother had 4 babies and was done at the age of 33. She was considered "an older mom" in 1958. And in truth, my parents were a bit older than the majority of my classmates. She has always made a big deal about my having babies in my late 30s and early 40s. To me it's not. That's just how the timing came out.

And now that I am finally getting some decent sleep, I'm feeling pretty young these days. Although my best friend from high school became a grandmother this year and I felt the tiniest twinge of being "old" or at least "mature". She always told me she would be "kicking back with the grandkids" while I was still intimately acquainted with Sesame Street. 'Course, now she will be too!

I think the 40s are a good time of life. I like them much better than my 20s. And I have a dear friend who is 51 and she is happier than ever.

[ombra*luna]

Hi everyone! It's nice to see all the other "older" moms here. :) I am 45 (will be 46 next month) and my youngest just turned two. I have older kids as well, my daughter is 13 and my older son will be 10 in a couple of weeks.

We just had a "sleepover" (it's a misnomer since no sleep is involved :rolleyes: ) for my daughter's birthday the night before last, with ten guests. I stayed up with them until midnight and then got into bed out of total exhaustion! They were really whooping it up downstairs, yelling, running, shrieking, etc. etc. and they were waking me up every few seconds (it seemed like) but I stayed in bed because I just didn't have it in me to get up. Plus they kept waking up ds and he would want to nurse back to sleep, so he was latched on most of the night. My husband got up a few times to quiet them but he's a much better sleeper than I am so it was rare!

Here it is the morning after the morning after and the extra mattresses are still on the living room floor!! (Dh worked yesterday, he's a youngun, only 42 so I would have made him bring them back up.) Plus I keep finding cups & dishes all around. Meanwhile I'm just sitting here all tired & stuff. :D

Nice to "meet" all of you!

[kaje62]

Luci, from what you wrote, I am thinking you had a VBAC with your last. Would love to hear your story. I am planning a VBAC for this one.

dh is sending me to an overnite spa this weekend for 24 hours. I will get massage, manicure, pedicure, mud wrap etc...all organic food, they have hiking trails, canoes etc. It is my birthday/mothers day gift. I find deals on these a lot at silent auctions which makes it more affordable. This will be my 4th year going but first overnight. It is like a huge bed n breakfast.

this is where i am going, http://www.birdwingspa.com/

Charlie has nursed 8 times since 3.19 so DH will stay with him at the inlaws which is on a lake 15 miles away. I am excited.

I will be 41 on May 20.

[ombra*luna]

!

[lucimomster]

I WANNA GO TO A SPA, TOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Wahhhhhh!

(I would explain, but I'm not gonna go there!)

Anyway: yes, #2 son was my Triumphant VBAC birth! Hurrah! And I'd be happy to tell you about it, but probably not today. It would help if you asked me specific questions I could answer. I always meant to write his birth story, started it, in fact, but haven't ever finished, so I can't really cut-and-paste. I do have a short "announcement" version ... let's see if I can dig it up..... oh yeah, here:

Announcing the Triumphant Arrival of Keller Michael McKean!
Wed 02/20/2002 4:45 p.m.
8# 1 oz (same as Ian, delivered by c/s), 20" (1.75" shorter than Ian), 14.35" head circumference! (BIG GUY!)
Some light brown hair, typical baby blue eyes, crazy pointed toenails on his big, long toes, funny little oldman face -- an old soul?

A few details (more will be told when I have more time): Transferred to hospital after 32 hours because I plateaued at 8cm for too long, found I was complete when I got to hospital, so started pushing ... pushed him out in 45 minutes (34.75 hours total active labor, plus what felt like a zillion hours of prodromal labor -- NOW I can *grin* about it!)! Midwives pronounced me a Birthing Warrior Goddess ... I gave birth squatting, naked, singing a helluva birthsong, pausing only to stand on the bed between contrax! (The OB thought I was outrageous!)

Keller had a high fever and too-fast respiration at birth (not unusual for long labor/quick delivery, per pediatrician), so was admitted into Special Care Nursery. Fever gone ASAP, RR down @ 36 hours-ish, so breastfed for first time @ 41 hours (yippee!)! We expect to go home tomorrow ... where Big Brother Ian has THE FLU!! (What else?!) and is keeping Daddy running. (We'll be hiring postpartum help -- any takers?!)

--------

I had planned not only a VBAC, but a HBAC (home birth after c/s), but as you can see, it didn't quite happen. I'm sorry about that, and for awhile I dreamed about having a third child -- a girl, of course!, and the homebirth I'd longed for -- but now I'm pretty comfortable with being the mama of 2 boys and done.
The homebirth I'd envisioned would'a been loverly, though. *sigh* Of course, if it had happened and Ian would've still gotten the flu, it wouldn't have been NEARLY as nice as the dream! Ain't that just motherhood, though?

Anyway, good luck to you with your VBAC! Ask me questions and I'll tell you more, and put you onto some incredible resources I found.

L

[lucimomster]

Who knows how one gets your tag (for lack of an accurate term) changed from "Member" to something else?

I'd love, REALLY love, if I could officially be the Birthin Warrior Goddess!

Anybody help? Or is it a private club and you have to get your "Indian name" from someone else?

*grin* (Hoping I haven't offended any Native Americans with my childish comment)

[Tracy]

kaje62, I love that you are going to a spa. I am a huge spa person.... I lived for years literally down the street from a natural spa...here in the middle of LA.....hard to believe...but there is a perk to living in a seismic city.....HOT artesian wells!

anyway, do they know you are pregnant? I'm only asking because some of the spas I went to when I was pregnant would not do mud wraps because you get too hot. But I guess it depends on the way they do it.

and for me...I didn't let anyone rub my feet when I was pregnant. I had a couple miscarriages and I knew there were acupressure points on the feet that made me nervous. But I'm a little bit WOOWOO so that's my goofy side.

But do check on the mud wrap....maybe it is a cool wrap.

It sounds like fun and delicious and the perfect, perfect mother's day weekend.

[lucimomster]

Who knows how one gets your tag (for lack of an accurate term) changed from "Member" to something else?

I'd love, REALLY love, if I could officially be the Birthin Warrior Goddess!

Anybody help? Or is it a private club and you have to get your "Indian name" from someone else?

*grin* (Hoping I haven't offended any Native Americans with my childish comment)

[emmaline]

luci when you hit 1000 posts and become a senior member you can change that title to whatever you fancy. Many of us (like me) have not gotten around to requesting a change so stay senior members (but it's not because we want to be thought of as senior citizens:D )

[lucimomster]

And here I was, trying to find a good reason NOT to blather on and on and on on the Internet! 1000 Posts! Yikes! I'd better get moving! *grin*

[Curious]

Glad to have found this thread. Thanks trabot. I would post while Dd sleeps but due to my advanced age (43 last week), I need all the rest I can get so I sleep with her most of the time.

I am really easily tired, my whole life needed lots of sleep. We're talking about TTC again (after a problem with my old back is as straigtened out as it can be) and among my biggest worries is When Will I Get My Nap?

But I feel much longer in patience than when I was younger and had less life experience. Toddler tribulations seem easy to accomodate after some of the bosses I've worked for.

[emmaline]

Curious I learned how to nap sitting up in a chair while kids were occupied with something, also to nap on the floor in the room where they were doing things - it's not the same as lying down in bed but helps anyway. I find if I am really tired even a few minutes repeated a few times is enough to get me thru to bedtime. Depends on how much quiet mischief kids are inclined to though. I hope this works with the new baby...

Don't mean to get on any soapbox but I have found that I have more energy since I cut down seriously on sugar and upped my protein and iron - I'm hoping to keep this up and see how it feels when I'm not pregnant, better with any luck.

[Saundra]

Well count another 40 plus mom among you. I am 42 and had my first child at 40 and my second at 42--both boys currently 5 mos and 2 1/2 yrs. I handle the sleep deprivation much better than my dh. I never liked sleep that much anyway, but I wouldn't turn down an opportunity to get a little extra. I'm so tired of feeling tired!
I am really curious how being older mom compares to being a younger mom. I know some of you had children when you were in your twenties, and are now starting second families or what have you. What are the advantages to being an older mom? I really need to be reminded of all the positives right now.
Saundra

[Curious]

emmeline, I couldn't agree more about the sugar. It's poison to me and I've been off it since I was 17. Eons! The one time I tried to nap on the floor while Dd did her thing, she kept hitting me on the head. And she's ordinarily very gentle.

I just read the old thread, and now I no longer feel like a crazy freak considering TTC, and with no great sense of urgency. My mother recalls her last period at 53, my sister had her last period about 2 years ago, at 52. We're talking about later this year, but only after the back thing is as resolved as it can be.

I was almost bedridden with back pain during my first pregnancy. I want to do everything I can to remain relatively pain free and mobile if I were to be pregnant again, so that I can keep up with Dd.

[lucimomster]

Did you/would you consider prenatal yoga and chiropractic? (Sorry, I don't have time or energy at the moment to research your old posts ... hope I'm not rehashing inappropriate options.)

Both those things saved my back, big-time! And now I'm looking into a Pilates class ... now that both my boys are 20#+ they're causing me to seriously look into strengthening my back, via strengthening my abs!

L

[ombra*luna]

Hi again everyone! I guess this would be the place to ask a question I've been wondering about re: menopause. Anyone else have this experience?: I had ds 26 months ago and have been breastfeeding pretty frequently ever since. I had a period when he was about 8 months, then it was a few months without, then a period again, a couple months w/o, then a few in a row right on time, etc. but it all completely stopped as of last November. I do feel PMS-y sometimes, but then the feeling passes after a few days.

We're still nursing frequently, including several times during the night most nights. (I wake up to "That! Peeez?" :) ) So has anyone had a similar experience and gone on to start their cycle again? It's been 6 months. BTW I'll be 46 next month, and I don't know when my mom or any relatives had menopause (my mom had uterine cancer at 40 & everything taken out).

Interesting to hear that I'm not the only one who's exhausted. I'm in better health now than when I had my first two (at 32 and 35) but still tired! :rolleyes:

[kaje62]

Queenie, neat our guys share the same birthday. year too?

Luci you are a birthin goddess thanks for sharing and post away mama!

emmaline let's start a thread to change your byline!

[lucimomster]

I'm braced and ready to be COMPLETELY jealous ... tell us about your spa weekend!

[mommynay-nay]

Queenie, I've wondered about the menopausal thing too. I had my last baby at 41, a bit younger than you. My period came back at 7 mos. He nursed exclusively until then. He just turned 4 and still nurses a tiny bit at bedtime and that's it. Last year, when he turned 3, he was still nursing quite a bit. At that time, my periods began to be irregular for the first time in my life. I had never skipped periods before. He tapered off to 2-3 times a day by the time he was 3 1/2 and at that time my periods once again became regular. However, even though we're only nursing a miniscule amount currently, my periods have become erratic again. I just turned 45. I've heard similar things from a couple of other women. (It's hard to find others who are still nursing in their 40s.)

I'm sure every person is different, but I attribute my erratic cycles to a combination of age and nursing. I know that my periods sort of fluctuated with the ebb and flow of my child's nursing anyway, and I would guess my hormone levels are different than they were 5 or more years ago as well.

I've been nursing kids for 7 1/2 years now, so I'm about ready to be done. I've enjoyed the ride though!

[lucimomster]

In my experience (still nursing my 3yo often and always the baby, of course), nightnursing particularly screws with my period.

On the other hand, I've started consulting with a homeopath, and my current constitutional has brought my period back like clockwork, even despite heavy nursing. The PMS is killer, far, far more emotional than it used to be ... of course, it "used to be" that I wasn't essentially a single mother to two nursing/diapered children under the age of 3!

So I'd say, if you want to try to get your periods regularly again, consult with a homeopath.

Luci ... who may be approaching 1000 posts faster than she'd anticipated, given her current unwillingness to just "step away from the computer, ma'am!"

[glh]

Saundra-I had my first baby when I was 27 and my last when I was 44. Definitely had easier pregnancies when I was younger and probably a lot more energy afterward. I also found out I had a thyroid problem after my last baby, so ladies if you are really, really tired and think it is just nursing and having young children it could turn out to be more than that. I also had more regular periods once I started the thyroid supplements; something I never had before except when I was on the pill.

The best thing about having children when you are older is how much more sure of yourself you are. With my first I listened to everyone else's opinion and did not trust my own enough. Now I do what I and dh think is best for our babies and the h*** with what anyone else thinks.

The biggest worry for me about being an older mom is staying healthy and so, so wanting to be here when dd and her brothers are all adults. Our oldest is 19 already, but I also want to be here when dd (age 2) is having her own babies. Since I had her so late in life and my own mother died at age 59, that is not something I take for granted. I try to take good care of myself and hope it will pay off later.

I am usually the oldest mom at dd's playgroups and ds's soccer games, but a lot of parents are in their mid to late thirties, so I never feel too out of place.

[simple gifts]

I had my first baby just before I turned 19, and my last baby last year, just before I turned 43. My oldest daughter is 25, then I have a 15yo, a 13 yo, a 10yo, and a 1 yo.

I'm definitely more tired this time. maybe not more tired as much as it takes longer to catch up. In my younger days, I could take a quick nap, or get a good nights sleep and feel just like new. These days, it takes a few nights to feel rested, if I get a few nights.:toothy

The best part for me is realizing how much stuff the kids do is just a stage. I can relax more with this guy, enjoy more. My 1 yo isn't walking or talking yet. Before I would have been worried, now I'm grateful.:p

The hardest part for me is that just one baby feels very strange. I'm at home, but after being at home with 3 that were 5 and under and that homeschooled, this one seems not enough, kwim?

[kaje62]

glh, I so relate. My dad died at 49 and I turn 41 this coming Tuesday.

Anyway the SPA was great but I came back to my sister telling me she is moving 6 hours away at the end of the month. She has lived here 16 years, we are so different but I will miss her so much and have been crying for three days.

[Colorful~Mama]

not sure if i really fit here. i'm 37, will be 38 when this baby comes so i'm not 40+ yet. Dh is 42. I have a 13year old, a 33mo old and am pregnant with #3

nice to meet you all

[kaje62]

i was 38 with my first and got all the scares of being an older mom. I think you fit in here.

[Tracy]

colorful mom, you will have small kids when you are over 40 so you definitely fit in here! (that's the other half of the catchphrase).

welcome to the tribe!

[StillForest]

So nice to see this thread. Love all of the discussion of having another. Dh and I, both 43, are still periodically and wistfully contemplating the possiblity of having another. We're just having so much fun with DD. I too get looks of shock when I tell people my age...but I just tell them this is indeed what 43 looks like. :D
I'm hoping to be climbing mountains up into my 80's (Hey, my 100-year-old grandmother was still walking 2+ miles a day up till her death two months ago).

I have a good friend who had her first (after three m/c's) at 45!
But I'm not sure that I could do another 2 years without sleep if I have another one who fancies reverse cycling....as much as I love peacefully nursing DD while everyone else in the house is fast asleep.

[Mamaste]

Ya know, I don't worry so much about pregnancy and having the baby and babyhood and toddlerhood and all that ... I just worry that if we have another child at this late date, I'll never get to have time for *me*. :o I lived a very passive, focused-on-pleasing others childhood and young adulthood, and I never quite followed the roads I wanted to take the way I wanted to take them. It took me until my mid-30s to get a divorce, find someone who could meet me on equal terms, stand up for what I wanted to do at the time, and so on and so on ... :blah So anyway, it seems to me that at some point in the future, I should take a big chunk of time and energy and do something incredibly intense and fulfilling -- besides raising a family, heh. :rolleyes:, that's a given for me now!

When I think this way, it feels a little selfish ... it feels a little like dwelling in the past and succoring regrets ... And a lot of it seems like common sense. My mother pursued her own business and artistic interests in her late 40s and 50s after I was a teen. It seems a given that I should be able to do that now -- except that I will be *so* much older than that by the time DD (22 months now) will be a teen, let alone any future babies ...

So much to do, so little time ...

[Tracy]

I just wanted to share a little tidbit and I don't know how many people this applies to but...

does anyone feel like they are on extended trip to a foreign land?

I am sure most parents feel like that when they have children.

But maybe it was because I did wait so long to have a child and I had really this whole other life before he came. That I think the analogy of a foreign land even is more pronounced.

I guess, like anything when you are younger, there is a naivete that is coupled with enthusiasm that makes having children likened more to a normal experience than a trip to another country. I know when I first starting working in the enterainment business which is weird and goofy but because I started it in my 20's it seemed, "normal." I think the same could be true about having children in your twenties. But having them now and so later in life...well I do feel like I've gone to a foreign land and don't necessarily speak the language but am picking it up...am curious about the vista around the corner, wondering what that next tourist spot will be and basically soaking it all up..... but still likes a foreign adventure....more than just a gardenvariety normal feeling.

does any of this make sense?

[callmemama]

Hi Mamas! I didn't know the 40+ plus thread was alive and well until I saw Trabot's message on the Parenting board! I don't get to MDC as often as I used to and when I do its usually EBF!! I'm 44 with a 3 1/2 yo nursling!!

I feel like each decade of my life has been a unique chapter. I was so responsible as a teenager, a partier in my 20's, big into my career in my 30's, and now a mom in my 40's. I often feel like a fish out of water around other moms, but I'm so totally comfortable in my mama role with my ds. I've said so many times that life truly does begin at 40:) I used to joke about my age all the time until one day ds looked up at me so seriously and said "Mama, are you very old?". What a little sweet heart - I quit advertising my age after that!

[Tracy]

callemama, welcome!

Your description of your life in decades sounds just like me!
I felt the same way.
Maybe that very responsible childhood made for my delay into responsibilities (read: being a mom)

[Dakota's Mom]

Hi Trabat,

Thanks for pointing me toward this board. I had my first family very young. 19 for my first, 21 for my second and 22 for my third. Then I had a second family at 27 and 29. Now I have my third family at 52. All boys except my DD born when I was 27. When I had my first family I though I knew everything. I made lots of mistakes with them, but also had many good experiences. BF when no one was. But basically doing what everyone else was. I learned a lot by the time I had number 4 and 5. Mosty I learned how much I didn't know. Life was a lot different with them as I was a single mom in college when they were toddlers. We lived on junk food. Both of them weaned very early. My milk dried up at 3 months for both of them. And I had very little support for BF. Now I feel like I've made all the mistakes. I'm finally married to a great guy. Life is so different than it was before. I reallly want to be perfect for this baby. I know how unrealistic that is. But I waited so long for him. I think because he is adopted, I really want him to have a great life He only eats organic. I try to get mostly organic cotton for his clothes. And he has many natural wooden toys. Since he is adopted and I work fulltime I didn't try to BF him. But I hold him for every bottle and try to bond as close as I would if BF. I tried to use cloth diapers but DH freaked the first time he had to change a muddy one. Of course, now he freaks if he thinks he's gonna have to change any muddy diaper. I may get the cloth dipes out agaim.

My grown up kids think their little brother is pretty cool. And my grandchildren think it's cook that their uncle s a little baby. (I have 7.)

Anyway, this is a long introduction Hope to meet all of you. And learn from each other.

[callmemama]

Thanks for the welcome Trabot:)

Say, do any of you other 40+ mamas find it difficult to provide playmates for your children? Ds is 3 1/2 and prefers one-on-one situations. He's the sweetest little wall flower in a group of rowdy youngsters! Just last night, I was visiting a friend (ds is completely enamored with her 5yo), and there were several neighborhood children congregated there. It was such a sharp contrast to our own existence ... but maybe that's ok. I don't think ds or I either one would be comfortable if our home were grand central station, although I admire the moms that make their homes the place kids want to be!

[simple gifts]

I'm finding it hard to find playmates for my 13 month old, simply because we don't know any.

My other kids are 15, 13 and 10. My house is full of big kids all the time. No one, but no one has a baby.

I'm going to have to get out and meet moms with little ones, but honestly, I get tired thinking about it. I want to find like minded people, but when the bigger kids were younger, that was a lot of work. I was a LLL leader for years, did homeschool support groups, was a girl scout leadcer. I'm old and tired now.:D

I know there are older moms like me around somewhere, but I don't know where they are. I feel like some of the other mom's grandmother, they seem so young!

[Tracy]

mothersong & callemama:
My 22 month old ds and I go to the park a lot and we have our 'park mommies and park friends' . Whenever we go it feels like a major playdate. I found the mommies very welcoming and not clique-ish. Some I resonate with more than others and we tend to seek each other out. Mind you, I'm in LA and our weather is good pretty much all year round so we can access the park all year. But it really is a great place, in my opinion to meet others.

We also we go to Music Together class (which I highly recommend) and we have those friends.

And then we go to a toddler and me yoga class and we have those friends.

Some of these friends from these places we have turned into individual playdates. Which is certainly welcomed. But we stay pretty busy even without the playdates.

I'm now looking into a Tiny Tots program at our park. It is very sweet. Mommy and child go for about 90 minutes and do structure play... "Now we'll do playdough" "now we'll paint". etc. My friends love it and I think my ds is ready for it.
He is pretty social and I like any place where we can take him for, as we call it a 'VENT'. Just get all that energy out.

A side note..my dear friend who is not shy to let me know things...well when he met me at the park he said, "One of these things is not like another". In a very sing songy voice. I was completely baffeled, "what?" He said, "You." And I looked around and realized I was definitely the older. But you know I didn't feel it and I had been going for months. And I must say, it was earlier in the day and at that time there were still nannies with kids and yes they are younger. But we stayed a bit longer, when we usually go and those mothers folded in who tend to be older and then my friend said, "Oh, well they are all ages here."
:)


Oh, one other thing...when I stared working again in the winter, my husband whose job had wrapped picked up the ball with my son and now he does all the above events. He has now become a favorite at yoga and the park and music together. So many moms say that they wished their husbands would do more with their children. It is sweet.

[emmaline]

I will be out there actively seeking playmates for my baby.. and contacts for me first! because I've already been thru two sets of mamas and kids, with 12 yo and 5 yo - no one else is having any more babies! but I don't want to only hang out with "new" mums because I've BTDT long ago and the concerns of new mums around here these days seems to mostly revolve around getting the kids weaned and adjusted to day care :( :(

not sure I want to do the whole playgroup scene either - I find kids en masse (esp toddlers) very stressful and am a bit less tolerant than I used to be

[simple gifts]

Originally posted by emmaline
but I don't want to only hang out with "new" mums because I've BTDT long ago and the concerns of new mums around here these days seems to mostly revolve around getting the kids weaned and adjusted to day care :( :(

Oh, I am right here with you on this one. It sounds mean, and I'm sorry, but I have lost some of my patience with new moms. For the short term it's fine, but it's so difficult for me to deal with new moms agonizing over when to start solids, or how to get the baby to take a bottle. At this point in my mothering, I have about zero patience with people who are non-AP.:demon

My 1 year old is the youngest of 9 kids. I have 4 and dh has 4 and we have this one together. I have a 25yo who is married with a son of her own. Still at home we have 15, 13, 12, 10, 10, 7, 5 and 14 months. I don't want to be the "expert" all the time, but I can't muster up lots of endless empathy for obssession either. I always want to just say, "Look, it's a stage, they get over it, they grow up!":bang

Grief, I AM mean. :firedevil

[kaje62]

I am in a great tribish organic mama group and my ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education) group is so great, all co-sleep etc...I have been in ones I label Ferber trust me. We also do Music in Motion which I too recommend.

Check out.

www.musikgarten.com

Anyway welcome new mamas!

[Mom4tot]

I just wanted to say :wave this is a great thread! I just turned 41 and have a 7 and 2 y/o. We are trying to have a third. We met in our late 20's and by the time we married, he finished his school...went back after a long time, we finally had Ellie. I also like the larger age gap. There are times dh says, "Maybe I am too old to have a 2 y/o" (referring to himself!) But we are really happy and love this stage. I am so glad to have found some other moms my age. I have some good friends in our homeschooling group, of all ages, some with young kids. Wish us baby dust! And a little more energy! The Fuzzy Buns comment was hilarious!

[Tracy]

mom4tot: Welcome:thumb
And I have said it before...41 is Young. I concieved when I was 42 and had son when I was 43.

by the way, I sent my husband to a psychic last week..don't ask, it was part lark and part fun....anyway, first words out of the psychic's mouth... You are going to have another baby.

wow. I'm 45.

We use protection so I don't see how it will happen. But I don't know......

anyway, like I said, it was for the lark. But the weird thing is that my friend told me about 6 months ago that her aunt told her that I was going to have another baby. Her aunt is always full of strange predicitions that seem to come true. I almost dropped the phone.

Wow.. I have totally digressed.

Welcome to these boards. I say go for it. You are young.

[Dakota's Mom]

mothersong,

Where in the northeast are you? I am in New Jersey. I'm 52 with an 11 month old. We definitely need likeminded people around here

Kathi

[ssmeest]

My daughter will be 2 next month and came into our life through adoption. I had a hysterectomy at 32:-( I get mixed reactions. Most people assume I'm late 30's or maybe 40 which of course makes me feel GREAT! But then there is alwyas that one person who asks, "Is that your little GRANDdaughter?"

GRANDDAUGHTER?!?!?!

OK, breathe, DO NOT go for the person's throat!! LOL!


I can understand that even someone in their late 30s could be a grandmother, if they started young. But being a MAMA is formost on my mind. NOT a grandmother.

Sandra

[Tracy]

ssmeest, welcome!

You are in good hands in this forum.

I have been asked if I"m the grandmother a few times. The inquisitors have been either russian immigrants or latino. It gives me some comfort that in other countries families start very young.

very young. And "some comfort".


in the meantime, I put some blonde streaks in my hair and I feel it has 'youthed' me up a bit.

welcome.

[Ruth]

The next thread will be called pregnant and in our 40s!

I am almost 42 and we have a 5 year old. We met a long time ago (19 years ago) but it took me 6 years to propose marriage and another 8 or so years to decide yes on having babies. I always wanted to foster and adopt instead.

I want another 10 babies, but I may just settle for 1 biological. I plan to always have foster and adopted babies and children.

Mamaste, I may use your midwife!

[callmemama]

Back to the playmate question! Does anyone else have concerns about what other children will "teach" your dc? We live in a neighborhood of mainstreamer's (for lack of a better word). Some of the moms stay home, but... our parenting styles are very different and one little neighbor girl in particular can be pretty rude (ok, rude is too strong a word for a 3yo!). She's not yet four but allowed to "run", if you will. A good age for my ds to play with, but after one get-together where she just came over (alone) when we were outside, I think I need to set some rules of conduct at our house! Too radical?

[callmemama]

Oh dear, I think I killed the thread! We're looking into some homeschooling support groups to see if we can meet some like-minded parents/children. I just have to remember that there is diversity (in parenting styles) everywhere ... and it can be a good thing!!!

[kaje62]

I doubt you killed the thread. come on mamas. Post!

[Tracy]

no thread killing here. It just sometimes snoozes....

callememama, your ds is a bit older than my son so I'm not quite "there". We don't quite yet have significant playmates. Jack seeks some kids out at the park and playgroups but we are not at a major playmate period yet.

I can tell you that one mom and son from one of our event places has asked to get together and I had to lie and say we were busy because I actually am scared of her son. He is too rough for me, ....at this time. He might grow out of it but I have seen some things that scare me and I don't feel comfortable with that kind of energy in a confined place like our house or even their house. He also isn't particulary disciplined which makes it kind of akward.

I can only say it is hard. And by the way that mom is a ebf and I think probably is likeminded in many ways but there is that hurdle there for me.

but I did want to echo that a homeschool support group might be very helpful.

tracy

[rainsmom]

Im experiencing the same thing. THough not all the boys in our group of moms are aggressive, some are and it is sometimes hard to avoid if you want to spend time with the parents.

Is it me, or are there less girls being born than boys? My dd has only one girl playmate.

[callmemama]

We met two little girls and one little boy ds's age through LLL, but other than the occasional get together, we don't do much now (live too far apart, etc!). Ds's favorite little play mate is a 5 year old girl, but now she's 'growing up' and isn't as interested in 3 1/2yo ds!! As for neighbors, we came home last night and about had heart failure when a little boy rode a wheeled toy down his driveway and right across the street in front of our car. It was dusk and we noticed the little 3yo girl from next door in the street in front of another neighbor's house with another little one. The only adults we saw were on the driveway where the child flew out in front of us. We don't live on a super busy street, but still! I heard a great quote the other day from a homeschooler I just met. When people tell her she's overprotective of her children, she says "thank you for noticing"! Isn't that great?! (as if keeping your toddlers/preschoolers out of the street is overprotective!)

[Dakota's Mom]

My ds is in day care all day. I look at the older kids in the day care and some of the things they do and I really worry about what our ds will be doing in 2 or 3 years. One class is being taught all the curse words in Spanish. Another class has a biter in it. And the snacks they serve these kids are awful. Yesterday one group of 2 1/2 year olds were snacking on sugary sweet kool aid, taco flavored chips, and fruit loops. So far I take all of Dakota's food to day care. But they really don't want this in the older classes. I am working to pay off all the bills from the adoption so I'll be able to stay home and homeschool in a few years. But I worry about what he is being exposed to now. I really would like to find a SAHM with similar values who would be willing to care for him during the day. But that's hard to find in NJ. If anyone knows of a likely candidate, let me know. The day care is convenient because it is in the same building I work in. All of my client's children are in the same day care so I have an excuse to go down there frequently. But I really want him out of there. Hopefully I'll find someone soon.

Kathi

[emmaline]

Originally posted by callmemama
Back to the playmate question! Does anyone else have concerns about what other children will "teach" your dc? We live in a neighborhood of mainstreamer's (for lack of a better word). Some of the moms stay home, but... our parenting styles are very different and one little neighbor girl in particular can be pretty rude (ok, rude is too strong a word for a 3yo!). She's not yet four but allowed to "run", if you will. A good age for my ds to play with, but after one get-together where she just came over (alone) when we were outside, I think I need to set some rules of conduct at our house! Too radical?

you have every right to have rules of conduct at your house - I think it makes life much easier and funnily enough some"wild" kids can deal with such things quite well

for years I did kid-swaps with a friend whose son is the same age as my ds2. Her boy is the most "energetic" kid I have ever met, and was scarey to ds at first. But when he was at my place with certain rules explained he could cope for a couple of hours really well. I know it was hard for this boy because when his mum would arrive to pick him up he would usually go berserk! but I had to protect my son, my self and my house! I also wanted to give my friend a chance to get to the gym! My ds also learnt that he could stand up for himself to someone who had very firm ideas about what ds should do ( my friend's son behaves like a CEO, believes he is always in charge) and how he should be treated - when ds asked me "I don't have to do what H says do I?" I was delighted, it was a lesson I never learned as a kid

trabot - a lot of the early visits with this boy involved getting out of doors to blow off energy before a brief period inside

as for a 4 yo visiting unaccompanied - I don't even like our 12 yo neighbour doing that! she always checks with her mum and me before coming here and one of us always accompanies her home

and this is just plain terrifying:we came home last night and about had heart failure when a little boy rode a wheeled toy down his driveway and right across the street in front of our car. I would not want my kids to get the impression this was a fun thing to do!

[Mamaste]

Originally posted by Ruth
The next thread will be called pregnant and in our 40s!

Ruth! :D :D :D

Mamaste, I may use your midwife!

I'm sure you know she's moving up to Allen now. Pop me a note and let me know what exactly you're cooking up, you 40+-year-old mama, you. :p

[kaje62]

I started a new thread. Come and join me.

http://216.92.20.151/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=66576