Who has refused internal exams w/an OB?

[Pooka~Hugs]

I want to avoid them completely this time. I go for my 1st appointment today (the "OB physical"). Do I just tell the nurse who checks me in? Or just politely decline when she says get undressed?

Not sure what to say I guess.

[sweetfeet]

I was seeing an OB concurrent with my mw until last week. Anyhow, I told my OB that I was declining the pap because in the event that it comes back abnormal, which I've read is more likely in pregnancy, they can't do the biopsy follow up until I've delivered anyhow. I said that I wasn't doing internals without a very good reason and a pap and gonorhea swab when I've had exactly 1 partner as has my dh weren't good reasons. I think I probably over explained myself because she just looked at me and said oh okay.:lol Just say no thanks.:thumb
Oh and I told the nurse when she handed me a gown, "not today" and she said I'll let the doctor know and walked out.

[turtlemama77]

I did opt for a pap/pelvic at my first appointment. If it's not something you want, ask to speak to the doc before you get undressed. I did let my ob know that I'm declining cervix checks (which I guess usually start at 34 weeks at this particular practice) and she was totally cool and understanding about it. We decided together that if I go over my due date, then I wanted her to check. I would say that if any health professional gives you a hard time about something like this, find a new practitioner.

[Pooka~Hugs]

I don't need a pap, as I had one last October or so, so I don't think it's necessary at all. I have no concerns over STD's either. And if anyone gives me a hard time over it, I'll definitely be looking for someone else. I also have to bring both girls with me, so it's not something I want them to see anyway!

Thanks for the advice ladies!

[Jade2561]

I've declined. I just told the nurse who asked me to undress for the pelvic that I "wasn't comfortable doing that today (or anyday for that matter)" and she was fine; doc didn't even mention it.

[NaomiLorelie]

I think you should just let them know whenever you decide you want to. It's your right to decline and if they give you a hard time, you need another practice. I did have a pap/pelvic at the beginning because I opt to get one every year and I was due. I will be opting out of any vaginal exams towards the end because really, whats the point?

[boscopup]

My OB didn't do a first appt vag exam. He does do a pap if you're due for one (and I was due - went ahead with it after waffling, and it came back normal anyway).

Also, my OB usually comes in to talk before having me get undressed, so if I'd wanted to, I could have declined at that time anyway.

I too will be refusing the cervical checks later on (assuming I get that far:)). If he asks why, I'll ask him what information those checks provide, since you can sit at 5cm for 4 weeks or you can go from 0cm to 10cm in a matter of minutes.

I'm 16 weeks, and the only time I've had to get undressed was for my 8 week appt when we did pap and transvaginal u/s at the same time. I've seen him at 6 weeks, 8 weeks, and 12 weeks so far. I don't expect him to even ask to do a vag exam until much later, and as I mentioned above, I'll be declining those exams anyway.

[orangefoot]

I'm in England and absolutely nobody even thinks about doing VEs in pregnancy unless there is some problem. I see a high risk team and no-one has asked me to undress, my midwife just feels my belly if I want her to and I pee on a stick in my own bathroom.

What is this American obsession with poking around all the time?

Are there any benefits whatsoever from these examinations during pregnancy?

[PuppyFluffer]

Orangefoot, I don't think there is much benefit.

I never had an internal exam the entire pregnancy. My midwife asked if I wanted to be checked at my 39th week appt. I asked what will it tell us? And she said I could be dialated and not start labor for a long while or I could start labor tonight with no dialation at all...so basically, it was a useless invasion of my space and I declined.

The first internal check I had was when I arrived at the birth center in labor. I was 9 cm! My midwife was very hands off to begin with but she alsk knew that I felt the same way.

[reiterin]

I will be declining the checks this time around. I honestly don't see the point in them at all.

[NaomiLorelie]

What is this American obsession with poking around all the time?


Because our OB's like to think that they are doing something. They can't admit that there isn't anything for them to do in a normal pregnancy.

[charmander]

I didn't have a single internal exam during my entire 2nd pregnancy.* :) I honestly don't see the point.

*(although conceving DD was via IVF... so I had enough poking and prodding to last me a good 10 months....:lol )

[cjcolorado]

Haven't had a single internal exam yet with my OB. From what I understand, the only thing he'll do 'down there' before labor starts (unless it's premature) is the GBS test, since I'll be delivering in a hospital.

[kellid]

I didnt', but I wished I did. I am 38wks and haven't had one until this point and I'm sure I could have said no, without a struggle at all, but I was a little curious, so I didn't fight it. Even though she was gentle, it was painful, even if only a little, but I was SOOOOOO SOOOOO crampy all through the night that night and I seriously thought I was going into labor, but I didn't remember labor feeling that way. It was icky, and I won't do it again.

I will refuse if it comes up again, and I don't think it will be frowned upon. Hopefully.

[stayathomecristi]

I decline (usually just tell them that I don't do those when I'm pregnant and am prepared to explain why if I'm pressed a bit)---and agree with orangefoot that there really isn't any reason to poke around in there unless there is a problem of some sort.

Orange--the OB's fascination with this in America is usually motivated by the potential for law suits. IMO--most of what they do is motivated to what they believe is their exposure to liability. Unfortunately, this mind-set precludes evidence-based care :( .

[boscopup]

Even though she was gentle, it was painful, even if only a little, but I was SOOOOOO SOOOOO crampy all through the night that night and I seriously thought I was going into labor, but I didn't remember labor feeling that way.

I wonder if your OB stripped your membranes while in there? When my friend's doctor stripped her membranes (at her request - and yes she ended up inducing just a few days past her due date :irked:), she had contractions all night, then they finally fizzled out. She'd been having prodromal labor since 36 weeks, so it was just a continuation of that, but it got worse. Still didn't put her in labor though! :p

Anyway, I've heard of OBs stripping the membranes without telling you. Of course, that is just wrong wrong wrong. :irked:

[HomeBirthMommy]

What is this American obsession with poking around all the time?
Are there any benefits whatsoever from these examinations during pregnancy?
My guess would be that they like to start controlling your birth that early. If they say, "Oh you're dilated to 3 and 80% effaced. You'll have this baby by (fill in the blank)." Then you don't have the baby by then and you'll get, "Well, your body is ready-Let's go ahead and induce." Or it will go the other way. "Oh your body is not doing anything on it's own-Let's go ahead and induce." :irked:
I will be declining checks this time around. Last time my mw didn't even suggest it until she got there during labor and I was OK with it at that time b/c I was super curious to see where I was.

[emdeecee_sierra]

Oh, you bet! I refused every check with DC#2 and would have with DC#3 if anyone had mentioned it.

At my first appt with the ob with DC#2, the nurse put me in the room and handed me a hospital gown. I politely just took it and set it next to me on the exam table. DH was with me. The nurse did vitals and whatever, then stepped out. When she came back in, she indicated that I was supposed to disrobe completely and put on the gown. I pleasantly said I wouldn't be having any of that kind of exam. I guess the doc would also usually do a vaginal U/S, also. Well, long story short, the nurse got quite belligerent with me, then gave up, basically hoping to 'sick' the doctor on me. DH was uncomfortable and admonished me to just follow their protocol. I lit into him- I was livid and in tears. I said in a hiss, "If you would feel more comfortable playing by their stupid rules and protocols, then YOU get up here and put YOUR FEET in the stirrups. There is no reason for any of this and that doctor is not touching me." This was my first time with this ob. I was SO upset and completely on edge and feeling like the whole world was against me. Then the doc walked in. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed, because I was fighting tears and am sure I looked like heck, and the doc was startlingly handsome and I just stared at him. Yes, in front of DH who is Mr. GQ himself. I couldn't help myself. Here I expected this crotchety old geezer and in walks a model. I felt like a dork. He was completely ok with me not having all the regular exams. He made the comment, "I won't force you to if you don't want them." Even that bugged me and still does- I almost blurted out, "Yeah, you're right you wouldn't 'force me', buddy, that is called RAPE." But overall he was so nonchalant I was even more angry with that nurse for making such a big deal of the whole situation.

Even though he asked at every visit if he could do a vaginal check I always just pleasantly said, "No." And at my last visit to him that pg, he was trying really hard to talk me into it, saying, "Sometimes it helps labor get started." I was days away from even my due date at the time. I responded sweetly, "My baby will come when my baby is ready to."

My MW never brought it up for DC#3. I was only checked then when I was already pushing and baby's head was right there already anyway.

Moral of the story- IF YOU WANT TO REFUSE VAGINAL EXAMS, THEN BY ALL MEANS DO SO!!! Your body! They are your employees. Vag exams are for the most part unnecessary and dangerous. Just say NO! :)

[Jetka]

Hey there. I am 27w2d preggo with my first child. When I first found out I was preggo, I went to an OB. I told her I didn't want any type of vaginal exams, that they weren't necessary and I wasn't comfortable with them. She then dropped me. So I went to see another OB. The same thing happened. So I then proceeded to see a CNM. The same thing happened again. So needless to say, I have unfortauntely not had very much prenatal care. I will be making an appointment with my family practioner this week. Hopefully he will respect my wishes. :(

[Pooka~Hugs]

Oh, you bet! I refused every check with DC#2 and would have with DC#3 if anyone had mentioned it.

At my first appt with the ob with DC#2, the nurse put me in the room and handed me a hospital gown. I politely just took it and set it next to me on the exam table. DH was with me. The nurse did vitals and whatever, then stepped out. When she came back in, she indicated that I was supposed to disrobe completely and put on the gown. I pleasantly said I wouldn't be having any of that kind of exam. I guess the doc would also usually do a vaginal U/S, also. Well, long story short, the nurse got quite belligerent with me, then gave up, basically hoping to 'sick' the doctor on me. DH was uncomfortable and admonished me to just follow their protocol. I lit into him- I was livid and in tears. I said in a hiss, "If you would feel more comfortable playing by their stupid rules and protocols, then YOU get up here and put YOUR FEET in the stirrups. There is no reason for any of this and that doctor is not touching me." This was my first time with this ob. I was SO upset and completely on edge and feeling like the whole world was against me. Then the doc walked in. I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed, because I was fighting tears and am sure I looked like heck, and the doc was startlingly handsome and I just stared at him. Yes, in front of DH who is Mr. GQ himself. I couldn't help myself. Here I expected this crotchety old geezer and in walks a model. I felt like a dork. He was completely ok with me not having all the regular exams. He made the comment, "I won't force you to if you don't want them." Even that bugged me and still does- I almost blurted out, "Yeah, you're right you wouldn't 'force me', buddy, that is called RAPE." But overall he was so nonchalant I was even more angry with that nurse for making such a big deal of the whole situation.

Even though he asked at every visit if he could do a vaginal check I always just pleasantly said, "No." And at my last visit to him that pg, he was trying really hard to talk me into it, saying, "Sometimes it helps labor get started." I was days away from even my due date at the time. I responded sweetly, "My baby will come when my baby is ready to."

My MW never brought it up for DC#3. I was only checked then when I was already pushing and baby's head was right there already anyway.

Moral of the story- IF YOU WANT TO REFUSE VAGINAL EXAMS, THEN BY ALL MEANS DO SO!!! Your body! They are your employees. Vag exams are for the most part unnecessary and dangerous. Just say NO! :)

Thanks for that post! I'm so self-conscious anyway since I am overweight, and I don't want to deal with that embarrassment. I got through that 1st appt. OK, and will refuse all others. I just have a hard time standing up for myself sometimes, so I wanted to hear what other women have done.

[PuppyFluffer]

Mollie, you have every right to decide what you want in your health care! Make that your little mantra. "I am empowered to make my own decisions about my body and no one has the right to make me feel bad."

You go!

[mama2toomany]

With all my kids i avoided internals. With this surrogacy I avoid them as well... I am lucky to have a peri that doesn't think internals are a good thing either :)

[soccermominsd]

I see both a licensed mw and a cnm practice (for labs/co-care). The CNM practice wanted to do an internal & a pap on the first exam and I said no. So far I haven't had one internal & I'm 23 weeks today.

Just say no :)

[ilovemyavery]

With DD I had a pap at the first visit, I was due for my annual. With this pregnancy, my CNM said, "Oh you had your Pap in Dec. you aren't due! We don't need to do anything vaginal, which is great!" With DD I had two internal checks both while in active labor- the first when I got to the hospital, the second when I was ready to push, nothing else at any point. I even did the Group B Strep swab myself. I went 11 days late and they still didn't push or even ask to check me! I am so happy with my mw's, it's nice not to have to argue:)

[herwitsend]

i declined the pap at my first midwife visit. she was fine with it.

i believe that if your office uses the "thinprep" pap test that (if you are in a monogamous relationship for 5 years and have never had any abnormal cells) you only need one every 2 years anyway. i like to keep folks out of there whenever possible! except my dh, of course! :wink

[ColeysMama]

I never knew declining was an option till just now... I always thought it was a standard thing. Wow. Okay, then.

Next time I think I'll learn how to check my own cervix and then I can satisfy any late-pregnancy/early labor curiosity without anyone else messing with me. I know a midwife who said she'd teach me....

[orangefoot]

If you aren't sure if you can defend yourself you can practise a few key phrases at home in front of the mirror. There is amidwife here in the UK called Mary Cronk who recommends this for any pregnant woman. If you have said the words a few times then they come out of your mouth a lot better when you need them!

One of her favourites is "Stop that at once" which can be very useful if you have ended up in a situation you are not happy with. Said firmly and loudly only the most awful person will not stop immediately to see what the problem is.

So find the words that suit you and practise them. Hold your head up high put your hands on your hips and be yourself.

Here's a great article on finding your cervix
http://www.joyousbirth.info/articles/cervixlearning.html