likely birth at home - alone and w/ 2yo

[e.Rishavy]

Hi - I'm due 5.25.03 - this is not my first but, this is the first time I'm out in the toon-docks with lots of fears about being unable to get to my midwife in WinterPark (the birthging cottage)

Anyway my husband and I no longer have cell phones, I'm a SAHM and we have a 2.5yo son. I'm not sure that I'll be able to get to WP to deliver this little star so I need some helpful hints on what to do if caught at home.

I have surgical scissors (a gift for crafting) and a tub, towels, and vinegar or rubbing alcohol for satitation purposes - beyond that I'm not sure what I need. I know I will tear - the last time the (insert swearing here) doc gave me the "happy huband" stitch. So it goes without saying that I've already started to have minor bleeding from tears in the vag opening.

If I am caught at home and have to fill our tub - what do I do about the tearing, what if I pass out (from loss of blood or other circ.), is it a better idea to labor in the tub but try to move to dry ground for the actual birth?

what can I do about my 2yo son?! I'm thinking someone might be able to watch him for a few hours but he's only been away from us a total of 52 or so hours his entire life! I really don't want him to get freaked out by mommie screaming in labor or the sight/sounds of birthing.

I just need a few pointers . . . I don't know if any of you have given birth at home or alone before - any suggestions would help.

[juju]

hi,

i am a homebirthing mama to a 4 year old and a 15 month old. my son was 2 years and 8 months and was great during the birth of his sister. we totally prepared him with books, videos and demos. plus, he went to every midwife appointment. he has never been without one of his parents.

about tearing: i tore the first time. he was born at home and weighed over 10 lbs. i pushed him out really fast, though. i know this is why i tore. it healed on its on though.

my daughter was born in water at home. my midwife had a portable spa thing called an aquadoula. being in the water was great. i was in there the whole time. i got out a little while after she was born. she was also 10+ lbs. i did not tear at all with her. i think the water and i pushed her about much slower than my son. i think those two things kept me intact. i just knew i tore, but didn't.

i just wanted to let you know i could relate on those two things.

good luck,
julie

[flminivanmama]

I would look up lots of info about unassisted childbirth!

[e.Rishavy]

i've looked up tons of info and I'm confident I could pull it off - dh is tottaly opposed to even thinkning about the possibility. he's really scared about even going to a birthing center - his fears really are the only reason I'm going to a center - the more I'm having problems with my CNM/ARNP Alice Pillay, the more I hate the idea of anyone being involved be me and God.

I'm really ticked off right now about the manner in which Mrs. Pillay has conducted herself. I will not take Diflucan and she can't stand it - everytime I see her she haggels me and insults me for not giving into her desirre to see all her patients on Diflucan! arrrrggg - when will she learn that some women (myself included) have naturally occuring yeast in HIGH count and need to resolve any issues with change of lifestyles/diet not taking a pill that goes throught the blood stream and into the fetus before it even reaches it's destination - plus there aren't even one-two-five or ten year studies on the effects of the drug on fetuses!!!! nanaarrrrrggggg!

anyway - I've joked with my friends in MN that when it comes time i'll keep it underwraps and go out into the neighboring orange groves to give birth and come back the next day babe in arms.

thanks for the support everyone whos replied!

[whizzie]

Liz, I wish you love, strength and a happy birth. You take care of yourself, do what you need to do. Follow that inner voice, it is apparently very strong. (((((hugs)))))

[flminivanmama]

sounds to me like your gut already knows what to do. now to convince your husband :)

[Milkymommy]

Have you looked into another midwife - maybe one that could come to your home? It sounds like you are not happy with the Birthing cottage right now.

I have several friends who gave birth at Special Beginnings in Orlando and were thrilled with the experience. I don't have any personal experience with them.

Is there anyone that you can call to come take care of your son if you do need to give birth at home? Maybe just to care for him in another room.

Could your DH get a pager for the next few months?

[KeysMama]

what about a doula? no, she can't deliver, but she could come to you in labor and help get you to your midwife. There are many doulas that do volunteer work while getting certified. What does your midwife or the BC recommend? Many times extreme fear will hold up the entire process, and even keep you from going into labor. A contingency plan will definitely help you emotionally, and also physically as well. Check with the Childbirth Enhancement Foundation as they have lots of doulas in training in Orlando metro.

[e.Rishavy]

my dh has really been wanting to look into doulas here . . . one of our friends delivered with a doula present. I simply am tired of having someone else telling me what they think is best for MY body and not heading my requests!! especially when it comes to epysiotomies(sp)!

[Bladestar5]

You need to get a cord clamp. Try to birth in a position where you can safely catch the baby. If you need your husband, the police should be able to locate him for you. Geez, I wish I lived near you, because my dh ended up delivering our baby and did a really good job of it. I just wish we had saved the money for the midwife:rolleyes: Although, she did clamp the cord, and had her assistant stitch me up.
I tore enough to need 3 stitches, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the unwanted epesiotomy with the first baby.
As for your son, try to expose him to birth on t.v. he will probably be worried and concerned, but will forget once the baby gets there! Good luck:)

[April 2007]

Hi! Congratulations on the soon coming new baby!

I am in the Orlando area and I labored at home and at Special Beginnings Birthing Center off of Edgewater drive. Suzanne P. was my midwife for birth and she is absolutely wonderful!! I ended up transferring to Fla Hosp. after 3 days of being in transition though (bleck!)m and Noah was born w/in 3 hrs of arriving at the hospital, lol. The nice thing is that the SB midwives have rights at fla hosp., so I never even had to see a doctor!

Anyway, I ended up having two doulas because it was so long. And lemme tell you, I would NEVER EVER EVER give birth w/out these women being there!! I now have close friendships with them and they are amazing : )

One is Pam Campbell and the other is Kris Worischeck I'm not sure how active of a doula Pam is right now, but they are both excellent and I HIGHLY recommend both!

If you're interested, I can igve you their numbers/email addresses and you can get in touch w/ them for more info. the number for special beg. is 407-291-4777

Please contact me if you need anything else or want more info, etc. my email is blessed81902@hotmail.com and my phone number is 407-877-4760

[Milkymommy]

Hey Blessed - how did that work with being transferred to Fl hospital. Were you at the birthing center for 3 days?!?! Was Fl hosp. far from the birthing center?

Were you and your baby ready to go home right away after the birth or did you have to stay at the hospital?

I'm sorry for all the questions! I gave birth to my dd at FL hospital 2 1/2 years ago and I was not thrilled with the experience, especially the 2 1/2 days we were there after my daughter's birth.

I'd love to get pregnant again and would like to give birth at Special Begginings, but can't if I'm classified high risk again, plus my dh would be much more comfotable if we went to a hospital.

So I was interested to hear what you had to say about the midwifes having privledges at Fl hosp. I did not know that.

[April 2007]

Originally posted by Milkymommy
Hey Blessed - how did that work with being transferred to Fl hospital. Were you at the birthing center for 3 days?!?! Was Fl hosp. far from the birthing center?

The actual transfer was very smooth. Although I was in transition, which wasn't fun having to sit in a car...No, I was at my home most of the time. I went to the birthing center a couple of times after working really, really hard and having really hard contractions, but I was still 2 cm but a little more effaced. Finally after a couple days I went in and they kept me there beacuse I had been working so hard all night long and hadn't had sleep in 3 days. I wanted to have a drug free birth, but I accepted nubain so that I could get some sleep...I could hardly walk to the bathroom because I was so exhausted. After being at the birth center for about 21 hrs, My mom and I made the decision to transfer because I had been in transition for so long and not making any progress...it took at the most about 4 minutes to get to the hospital...it's a couple blocks away.

Were you and your baby ready to go home right away after the birth or did you have to stay at the hospital?

My midwife said I was welcome to go home as soon as the ped. checked him out (which was about 2 hrs after giving birth). I made the decision to stay over night in the hospital because I was just sooooooo tired and I wanted people to bring my food to me, etc., lol. I went home the next morning.

I'm sorry for all the questions! I gave birth to my dd at FL hospital 2 1/2 years ago and I was not thrilled with the experience, especially the 2 1/2 days we were there after my daughter's birth. I'd love to get pregnant again and would like to give birth at Special Begginings, but can't if I'm classified high risk again, plus my dh would be much more comfotable if we went to a hospital. So I was interested to hear what you had to say about the midwifes having privledges at Fl hosp. I did not know that.

I believe it was just a couple years ago that the midwives got priveledges at Fla hospital. You can also opt to just go to the hospital and not be at the birthing center at all if you are high risk and unless something goes "wrong" then you won't have to see a doctor at all. Also, If you plan a birth at fla hosp., they have birthing tubs in the rooms now :)

This said, I had quite an experience with this birth (my first and only...hopefully not my last though!). Although laboring at home and at the birthing center was much better than going straight to a hospital, if I am so blessed to have the opprtounity to have another baby, I will give my best effort to labor and deliver at home :)

I don't mind the ?s...i hardly ever get the opportunity to talk about my birth experience...I really enjoyed posting!

[DeadHead*Mama]

Originally posted by flminivanmama
I would look up lots of info about unassisted childbirth!

Yeah! what she said. There is so much information out there on unassisted birth.

[e.Rishavy]

wow! Blessed your experience sounds great for the length of the laboring!

We're going to Orientation @ SB tonight, it's been hard to coordinate childcare and dh not having a shift. (we need him to take every available shift so no getting off of work). We're hoping that since this is my third delivery that they will let us waive the birthing classes. I have no one availble for coaching - my dh would love to be there but again the necessity to have bills paid takes precidence! So we'll talk to the midwives toinght and see.

I've looked up so much info on unassisted birthing that I'm totally confident that I can do it - I just don't know how long I'll labor (not that anyone knows). I've been induced 2x without my permission, the last time without my knowledge (I found out from our insurance statement). So I expect to labor much longer - each previous birth I only dialated to 2cm on my own.

I'm just hoping that SB works out for us - we only have approx. 8 weekends left! I don't want to be still trying to decide where I'm going to deliver at the last minute! I would gladly go to a hospital with a doula if the OB could be gauranteed to be a woman! - NO MORE MEN AS OB"S for me!!!!!!!

I really am SERIOUSLY opposed to male OB/GYN's with my experiences both as patient and co-worker!!!!

sorry for getting a little heated about it - the women OB's are so few and far between in general then to be having such a rotten experience with Alice Pillay at the Birthing Cottage - I'm really frustrated! I really LOVE Diane @ BC but the likelyhood of her delivering me at the BC are slim to none since she's only on call on Wednesdays. If only homebirth were an option in dh's mind. He really can't be comfortable with it thought - thoughts of me and babe having complications really scare him., understandably.

wish us luck tonight! my hearts already skipping a beat - i really hope hope hope we can go there!:exclaim :Bow :toothy :toothy :exclaim

[April 2007]

I wish, wish, wish that I could assist you in some way...either as your temp/perm "coach" or taking care of your lil one or something!! It breaks my heart that you don't have more support : ( you wont be rejected bcause you can get to the classes...there was a young mama who came to one class and was due the next week...she went into labor the night of the class! Plus there were a couple women who didn't have support ppl w/them bcause of schedule conflicts, etc.

I hope everything goes well at special beginnings :) I need to go see them so they can see how noah has grown!

If you are able to, visit htt://www.orlandodoula.com that's Kris' site. She's also the LLL leader for southwest orange county.

If you need anything, DONT hesitate to ask!!

blessed81902@hotmail.com
4078774760

[e.Rishavy]

Well last night went as hoped for the most part - It reelly helped that Sandy was teh person giving the orentation so any questions that were being answered were being done so by the owner herself! My dh was much mmore comfortable not only with the additional information we left with but also the confidence she instilled in us that Her practice is there for us not for them!

The only catch is the birthing class! arg! WE have to find some way to get someone we know to watch our ds four times in the next eight weeks! Our son has never been away from us that much ever! He's spent a total of 36hrs apart from us since birth! Anyway - that's the clincher. I hinted around last night to my brother that we may need him to do some more last minute babysitting of ds. They may or may not be up for it. They both work veery hard and the classes start at 7pm so it would be a "late" night for them if they do watch him.

anyway I'll be calling today about scheduling the first appointment at SB and the birthing classes.
:blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :baby they will come no matter how hard you try to hold them in

[lil' love]

I know a great MW in Winter Park, her name is Kelli Johnson and her practice is called "Mother's Nature". I believe the # is in the phone book.
Call her if you can't get anywhere and you need someone to come to you.
Good luck.

[e.Rishavy]

Thanks EVRYONE for all the help!!! Special Beginings is working out for us!


I've made it in 40min (mild traffic) so it's looking rather up beat for us right now -

I'm just wishing I had more time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek :eek :eek :eek :eek :eek :eek :eek I'm not quite ready to have a newborn again!! oh dear!

I'll let you all know how it turns out!