Question for Working Mamas Posters

[Cynthia Mosher]

Hi mamas!

Congratulations! We hope this new forum will be a supportive place for you in your struggle to balance your needs as a working mother.

Work at home moms have requested a forum as well so I'd like to know if you all think this new Working Mamas forum could manage respectful discussion for WOHMs and WAHMs under the same forum roof. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

[tessamami]

As to why we need WOH or WAH board. We are all moms.

I don't know why a WOH board is needed but if you have one for WOH, then you might as well have a WAH board.

The boards you have now do the trick for me, a WOHM.

[Cynthia Mosher]

I'll let the mamas answer for themselves why they feel the need for a separate forum.

I *hope* that WAHMs and WOHMs have enough in common that they can share this forum in discussion of their parenting and working challenges. Which is why I named the forum Working Mamas rather than WOHM. But I am sensitive to WOHMs needs and problems and want them to feel comfortable here.

We don't open a board for every expressed desire for something separate. There should be a clear need and active posting about the topic. In this case since both WAHMs and WOHMs are working at a job other than mothering, I hope they can be supportive of one another and share the space here. If I'm wrong in hoping for this I'm willing to consider something else. So that's why I'm asking for thoughts on sharing the forum. Can it be shared or is it not a good idea?

[Quirky]

I don't see why not. Personally, I thought the idea of a separate forum was great because the WOHM threads tended to get lost in the Parenting Issues forum, which is maybe not as busy as Diapering (:wink) but still pretty busy all the same. Not because there's any need for "separatism" per se but just to keep things better organized and findable.

The WOHM threads I've been participating in have never dissed SAHMs/WAHMs; they're just a place for support and exchanging advice on some of the concerns and problems that WOHMs have. I don't anticipate problems would arise from having WAHMs in the same forum; again, I think it would be great to help WAHMs find the threads that are relevant to their particular concerns.

[MamaSoleil]

I'm with Tessamami, I like the boards the way they are. I am a mom, pure and simple. My challenges are to find daily solutions that mom's face. Anyway, I'm just worried that making too many different forums for different 'classifications' of moms might drammaticaly change the openness of this board. Just my little two cents. IMHO, we are all workin mamas!

Peace,

Mamasoleil:hippie

[Cynthia Mosher]

Thank you for sharing. :) Any other thoughts?

[somemama]

Perhaps we should be called "Monetarily Compensated Working Mamas" !!

Because even if I didn't have a job I'd definitely still be working.

I think WAHMS and WOHMS face different challenges, but our challenges are similar enough that they can be encompassed under one forum.

[merpk]

:thumb

Like the working mamas forum.

I'd tried a "tribe" for WAHMs, but it honestly didn't get as big as I thought it would be. Instantly expected a 20-page thread & it didn't happen, not even close.

So am very happy to be with the WOHMs. Our situations are different, but personally feel like I've got a lot to learn from WOHMs particularly in the compartmentalization arena ...

Or maybe we could have another forum just for Disorganized Mamas? :LOL

[Marlena]

I don't see any issue with having WAHMs and WOHMs posting in the same forum! While the specifics of the issues each group faces can differ, the fact remains that we're all trying to balance working for compensation and our families.

I'm glad to see this forum open! Thanks for opening it!

[member]

Working (as of tomorrow) but not a mom but my 2 cents is ... this forum seems to be a great idea! I applaud admin for seeing to the needs of WOHMs & WAHMs.

[chfriend]

I'm excited about the new forum. I think WAHM and WOHM share a lot of the same concerns, and maybe even more importantly, can emphathize with each others' situations. I think it'll work.

Thanks for making this available.

[teachma]

I am really glad to see this forum, so THANKS! I would love to welcome all WAHMs in addition to WOHMs, so why don't we call the forum Employed Mamas?

[Indigomama]

I like the monetarily compensated mama board best :)

All mamas are working mamas!


I am so glad to see this board! I believe the big topic on this board is finding balance between work and child, with which WOH and WAH mamas are all dealing.

[hulamama]

Can I just say, hallelujah??? I am SOO happy we have a home. I have been feeling quite homeless on the web these days. :)

I like the monetarily compensated name idea--or something to that effect. I think all moms work--and I wouldn't want SAHMs to think that as a jibe.

Thanks, Mothering, for looking out for us! :)

[Greenfrogs]

Thanks for this board.

[delighted.mama]

THanks so much for this forum!! :) I think some of the issues that WOH and WAH mom's face are unique in many respects. For that reason, I am so happy to have a place where I can talk to other women that are in similar situations and face similar issues. That's not to say that SAH mom's don't have the same parenting issues that WOH/WAH mom's have. All I'm saying is that there is an additional element created when you work for compensation" that makes for a unique situation that encompasses more than parenting issues which not everyone understands or appreciates. As far as including WAH mom's to this forum, I don't see any problem with that. I think that would work very well. Thanks again for the support group!! :p

Libby

[CollegeMama]

I love this forum! I think WAHM and WOHM should be able to co-exist beautifully!
I think the reason we have this working mom's board is because we asked for it. Do you remember the WOHM thread on Parenting- we were told if it kept getting longer and longer then we'd get our own place.
Seems like it worked!

Thanks Cynthia for listening to our needs!!!!!!! :thumb

[muse]

I don't get to post a whole lot since i'm so busy working, at my job and at home, but do appreciate this forum and think wahm and wohm have a lot to offer one another. Thanks!:thumb

[ccm'smom]

Originally posted by muse
I don't get to post a whole lot since i'm so busy working, at my job and at home, but do appreciate this forum and think wahm and wohm have a lot to offer one another. Thanks!:thumb

I agree, I think that wohm and wahm would do well together.. :thumb - Thanks

[sadie_sabot]

Originally posted by mamajulie

I think WAHMS and WOHMS face different challenges, but our challenges are similar enough that they can be encompassed under one forum.

I agree.

i like the idea of caling it employed mammas. But I also think we all kind of know what "working mamas " means; no one here at mdc thinks *any* mom isn't working, right?

[LiamnEmma]

First of all, I truly wish there wasn't such a dichotomy between SAHM's and WOHM's. I didn't put WAHM's there, because I think the dichotomy is less--this is just my personal opinion though, I could be totally wrong. It happens! Anyhoo, it does make me sad daily to see this polar discussion, I encounter it all the time because I work four days/week instead of five and thus spend some of my time around other moms during "regular working hours". I wish we could all truly see that momming is hard period, no matter how you look at it, and I bet SAHM's sometimes have moments where they think, "If only I worked!" and WOHM's think, "If only I could stay home!" and WAHM's think both things. :blah (I really really like this emoticon, it is right up my alley)

In the absence of that understanding however, I appreciate having a spot where I feel like this part of my identity is understood. Thank you.

(edited for typos)

[owen&mama]

It seems there were a couple of different issues batted around here, so I'm not sure if I'm answering the original question or not, but I'll give it a shot. I'm actually both a WAHM and a WOHM, so I like the idea that we all come together under one roof. Just a personal preference, though. I do understand that full-time WAHMs have some distinct obstacles.

[happyinmtmom]

As an "employeed" mother who works both at the office and at home [like I"m supposed to be doing now while my son naps!], I'd vote for not seperating this out any more.

[chellemarie]

"I do understand that full-time WAHMs have some distinct obstacles."

I think keeping the two together can create an excellent resource for mothers transitioning from one to the other or those who are SAH who are moving into WOH or WAH. I'd like to see it kept together.

And I do appreciate that it's in its own forum. Mostly for the guilty feelings I have about not being able to be a SAHM. kwim?

Thanks.

[veganmamma]

I vote seperate forums for WAH and WOH and maybe a forum for SAH. I think that my struggles are totally different than WOHM, who I definitely support, but the more threads I read, the more different I feel about our situations, KWIM? I belong to another discussion board that has a forum for WAH/WOH/SAH and I like that.
Lauren

[tracymom]

and I like the idea of a forum together. *Too much* separation of forums is not good organizationally, though I love the separate forum for *this*. I'm actually an "executive level" WOHM right now working more hours than I'd like so my time is at a premium and it's nice to hit this board, good eating, and my other favorites without having to run a search every time I visit.

I like the "monetarily compensated working mamas" idea, too. I have the "all mothers are working mothers" bumper sticker on my car and I've seen a few strange looks from my co-workers, like they don't get it. :LOL

I think it would be interesting to share ideas and solutions with WAHMs. One very rewarding aspect of my job has been sharing my own WAHM tips and ideas with some of my WAHM employees who are (also) organizationally challenged (like me!) I learned some stuff the hard way.

[gretasmommy]

Thanks so much for the seperate forum for WOHM/WAHM's. While I agree that all mamas are working, I think we all know which of us these acronyms refer to. They are not implying that SAHM's are not working, but rather recognizing the different situations faced by moms who have more than one full time job! Before this group had it's own designated forum, I was always losing the threads in "Parenting Issues" due to the heavy traffic on that board. Now it's much easier to keep up!

As far as sharing the board, I think WOHM's and WAHM's have enough in common that it absolutely makes sense to have one board for the two. Certainly we can all be respectful of one another . . . . .right?!

Thanks for listening and responding to our needs, MDC!

Andrea
mommy to Greta 3/14/02

[Clarity]

money-making moms/mamas/mothers or paid moms would be shorter than monetarily compensated

[mama2mygirls]

i think we're all working, whether it's working outside the home or in, both have challenges that both groups can learn from.:hippie

i really don't mind whether sahm,wahm or wohm have a separate forum or not.

[squeakermansmom]

please keep this forum! i am a WOHM and i love having a place to share my concerns and fears with other moms in a similar situation. in the working mamas forum, i don't feel i have to justify my situation all the time. as far as the name, i think its fine just the way it is.

[veganmamma]

monetarily compensated working mamas
You know, I think that would be okay too.
L

[chellemarie]

Continuous nit-picking is making this forum annoying. Could we stop it already? I think the majority likes it as is.

Perhaps Piglet would like to start a poll...

[veganmamma]

No one is suggesting that we get rid of this forum! I think it's great, but I think we might be able to come up with a better title, or separate the forums a bit. WAHMs/WOHMs have different issues and I like the idea of a separate forum, but if it stays the same I like, gainfully employed mamas, or monetarily compensated mamas, I know it sounds PC, but I really don't want to alienate the SAHMs and I think that is happening.
L

[Britt]

Don't separate WAHMs and WOHMs into different forums! I'm something in between, and know I'm not the only one who is -- I appreciate the versatility in this forum! I think we're all plenty capable of finding the threads that apply to us.

Edited to say that "gainfully employed mamas" is way more insulting to SAHMs than "Working Mamas." (Having been a SAHM for years, I can tell you that I'd have been really annoyed at the assertion that my occupation, unlike working mamas, wasn't gainful.) Likewise, monetarily compensated working mamas, to me, seems almost to make a joke of the issue. (And as far as it goes, I was monetarily compensated as a SAHM, as per personal agreement: half of dh's earnings were my earnings.)

We need to change society's conception of SAHMs so that the bon-bon eating image is dispelled, but I do think that the term "working" clearly evokes the idea of "for pay" and "with demands independent of the household", rather than, "working moms, as opposed to SAHMs who don't do any work." Maybe one day there will be a better term for men and women who do not work for pay, but contribute labor in an unpaid fields, and a better term for people who work for pay as well. But for my money, all the other terms mentioned in this thread mock one group or another far more seriously than the terms we're currently using.

[gretasmommy]

Britt-
You mean you weren't sitting around eating bon-bons???!!!

My sister is essentially a SHAM, as she brings her 4 month old to my home (in 3 weeks we will be all under one roof anyway!) ans watches DD and her girl for the day while DH and I work. Some days I am sooooo glad that I get to go to the office, as I think I would go a bit crazy here with the girls! I am home 3 days most weeks, working nights and some weekends to make up the time, and I think we have a pretty good balance. I think most WOHM's and SAHM's are a bit envious of one another at times, seeing only the good about the other's position. I am fortunate to be able to see both sides in a true light.

Andrea
mommy to Greta 3/14/02

[Britt]

:D Now if I can just convince my MIL! (Who seems to think eating bon-bons is what I do, home or work!)

[HollyBearsMom]

I was thrilled to see this forum created as I often felt "frowned upon" in the general parenting area. But, I don't think there is any need to to seperate this forum any further. I think the issues any employed mother faces are very different from SAHM's. Yes we all "work" but the challanges are not the same.

One suggestion could be: if a person feel the issue is solely a WOHM one or a WAHM one just include that in the title.

[Lucky Charm]

Continuous nit-picking is making this forum annoying. Could we stop it already?
:nod yes, please.
I was thrilled to see this forum created as I often felt "frowned upon" in the general parenting area. But, I don't think there is any need to to seperate this forum any further. I think the issues any employed mother faces are very different from SAHM's. Yes we all "work" but the challanges are not the same
ITA. i have been frowned upon..big time...and i like this forum. we can come here, share, vent and not worry about someone calling 911 because i work, or telling me i should never have had children. this forum is a safe haven for some of us, a place where we dont need flame retardent suits. I have been a sahm and a wohm, and although we all "work", being paid is only a small part of the difference. whether you wohm or wahm, your challenges and lives are very very different than those of sahm's. i dont like splitting it further to wohm and wahm. i like it like it is.

[veganmamma]

I have recieved a suggestion ITA with!! Can we put a definition of hwat we mean by working mothers in the title? Maybe as a subheading, so when you wave your magic mouse over it the definition pops out in yellow, KWIM? Then, I would stop my incessant nit picking!! Really! Well, at least on this topic. Probably... :D
Lauren

[chellemarie]

Yay! I will send Piglet the "disclaimer" from Gale Pryor's "Nursing Mother, Working Mother" as a place to start. :)

[veganmamma]

Thanks! And to her credit, it was Chellemarie's idear. THanks again.
L

[mamaDsofi&iri]

Thanks for this forum, I think we will all learn a lot from each other. I totally agree with the idea experssed in the sticky 'a word about working moms' :thumb - I don't think we need to change any name, just agree that this is what this forum is about... :)

I think what we have in common is the responsabilities besides mothering, wheather we are paid or study or have our own buisness... I realize there are different challenges, but as I said, I am sure we can all learn a lot from each other while having a place where some specific issues of the multiple responsabilities are discussed.

So, :thumb for all of us!

(with NO detriment to SAHMs!!! Of course! :love)

[Threefold]

I love this forum just the way it is. I don't post terribly much these days, but I feel at home here. I am a WOHM and value the insights from both other WOHMs and WAHMs. Of course, I value SAHMs too! :grouphug But it is somehow so comforting to know that there are others out there who are working hard to AP and bring home the bacon and struggling to seek balance between the two. :nut

[MysticHealerMom]

I have a name suggestion, if it's not too late:

Second Job

although that might be misleading, it's short and does infer that momma'ing is a primary job. it would also include mom's who have other work that may not be monitarily compensated. for instance, i'm thinking of starting a non-profit and it won't be making any sort of money for a while, but it'd definately be a 2nd job. Or someone who volunteers their time and it seems like a 2nd job. I think anything that takes you away from your kids or that you need to do that doesn't involve your regular mama duties could be likewise supported by working mamas. and by need i mean either the need for money or the need for another outlet, including continuing education.

:sunshine

Lori