natural miscarriage

[moonglowmama]

hello,
I am in the midst of my second miscarriage, third pregnancy. I have one son, born Jan. 9, 2001.

I am looking for stories from other women who have had a natural miscarriage, meaning not a D&C, but at home to miscarry. I started bleeding 5 weeks ago, then it went away. No detectable heartbeat since then (that was at 12 weeks) and an ultrasound 2 weeks ago confirmed that the baby is dead. I am now waiting to "give birth" to my baby and receiving little support and a lot of people telling me I need to just go and get the D&C and be done with it. My feeling is that this period of grieving has been beneficial to nme in many ways, and I don't want to rush the natural process. I am feeling anxious for it to happen, however, and very ready, emotionally and physically. I feel I have grieved all I can for now and can't do much more until the baby is out.

My midwife has been really great to me, very encouraging, loving. I just think it would be helpful to me to "meet" other women who understand where I'm at.

Also, a side note, I miscarried three years ago and was rushed to get a D&C by my ob/gyn, who treated me like I was in an emergency situation and the grieving process was horrendous, in some ways I grieve over that miscarriage more that this one, I think exactly because of the way it was rushed. That is much of the reason I am choosing to miscarry naturally.

Love to all of you who are grieving,
Sarah, mama to Thomas, my little moonglow

[Jacque Savageau]

Sarah,

I'm so glad your hear at Mothering. What a tragic and difficult loss your going through. I want to offer my loving support to you. Feel free to reach out hear.

Though my miscarriages were very early on and quite complete, I can't relate to what your going though. I did have a stillborn child and it took over a week to deliver her. So many people were saying "why don't they just do a C-Section and get it over with". Her birth was the last gift I had to give her, and it was very healing to have been able to do so.

Are you getting any support at home? from friends or family? It sounds like you have a wonderful midwife and I'm releived that you have that.

My only suggestion would be to care for yourself. Make sure your eating well and keeping hydrated. If you feel feaverish or have flue like symptoms, please check into it as it could be a sign of infection. This is a time when you and your body are very volnerable.

How is your son? Are you able to greive with him present?

Please know I'm thinking of you and this forum is hear to help you in any way we can.

[darlindeliasmom]

moonglowmama: I am sorry for your loss. My friend Chelsea had a natural miscarriage a few months back. She posted it on the thread about birth stories. You could search for it by the thread, or by her name (user name is Chelsea).
And it's a really beautiful story, Chelsea!
You need to do what feels right to you. One SIL had them do the D&C right there without even calling my bro, another went home, thought about it, and had the procedure. Chelsea went home and with DH support, did it on her own. Each felt right to these women.

[moonglowmama]

:) Wow, thank you so much for your support.

I am getting a lot of support from church and AP friends, but I've had to ask family not to call unless they can be truly supportive. Everyone keeps consulting whatever doctor or nurse they know and reporting how risky a natural miscarriage is. i know they love me, but they seem to be just gossiping about me, not getting helpful information, which I would welcome. Actually the bulk of my support has come from God, knowing that he loves me and is in control, also that he made my body to work this way.

And I have been able to grieve in front of my son. We've always tried to let him express his feelings, and not shush him up, and so when I start crying he just comes over to me, lays his head on my knee, and listens to me, usually with a big grin on his face. So sweet! Makes me gush just thinking how great a person he is!

Thanks for the tip on keeping hydrated and well fed. I also am taking iron and chlorophyll supplements to help my blood clot and help with making new blood once it happens.

Also, I read Chelsea's birth stories and the brown star story, both of which were beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.

On a related note, does anyone know if the risk of infection is more/less than it is with a D&C? My medical information book just says that it is rare in cases of vaginal birth, miscarriage, and abortion (same D&C process, regardless of if the death was intended or not), but doesn't spell out percentages, etc.

Sarah

[Chelsea]

Moonglowmama,

I'm glad you read my story, just a few other comments... When I went to the hospital for the ultrasound after I started bleeding, they immediately suggested a D&C. I asked about other alternatives, and they said I could wait for it to happen on its own. I called my midwife, she said that was fine. The doctors assured us there was no risk in doing it this way, and we went home with info on hemoraging. Other than that, no one gave me any indication that it was dangerous. I have thought since the miscarraige that I would have always doubted whether or not my baby was dead if I had let them take it from me, plus I needed to trust my body. Hang in there. I hope things happen naturally for you, and that you are healthy through it all. Peaceful thoughts are coming your way:fairy

- Chelsea

[azmountainmama]

two weeks ago i suffered my 5th miscarriage. all of my losses occured between 6-16 weeks and all except the 16 week loss happened at home, natural and complete. some took hours and some took days, just like labor. my 16 week baby was born without complication and then i hemmoraged badly with the placenta partially detached. i had a d&c to save my life but so badly wish i didn't need to have gone though that.
i support you listening to whatever your body tells you is okay and know that if you need to change your plans that you'll do what you need to do. just remember that this is YOUR experience and that anyone outside of yourself doesn't have to live with your decisions the way you do. i hope you find the support you need and that you are soft and gentle with yourself during this difficult time.

as far as infection is concerned, d&c creates a very hospitible situation for bacteria to form due to the scraping of your entire uterus as opposed to just the placental site bleeding. and being in the germ infected hospital always puts you at risk. yucky stuff!

[NaturalJoy]

I wasn't as far along as you, only about 6.5 weeks. But, I am naturally miscarrying right now. My body has expelled almost all tissue, which we buried, and now I am just bleeding like a light period.

I asked my doctor to please allow me to do this naturally and she said she believed I could. The only thing that she did ask was that I return periodically over the next 6-8 weeks to folllow my HCG levels back to 0. She said that's how they can know non-invasively that the m/c has completed. I don't know if you could do this, but it might be a thought to continue the process naturally. Can your m/w order bloodwork, that would be ideal since she's supporitve as opposed to having to go to a doctor that may not be.

I'm grieving with you and hoping you can have the best of circumstances in this awful time.

[AmyG]

I'm in the same boat. I just found out today that I have a blighted ovum, and I'm waiting. I wasn't having any bleeding or anything. I just went in for a routine checkup. I was 11-1/2 weeks, so they tried to pick up the heart on the doppler and couldn't. The doctor offered a sonogram, and I wouldn't usually ask for one since I know that sometimes you can't hear anything that early, but something told me to say yes. I knew it was bad when the tech didn't say anything about what she saw and started calling me Sweetie.

From what I've read, a D&C is riskier, unless you've started to miscarry but didn't complete it. There are very few risks associated with an early natural miscarriage, but with a D&C, your uterus walls can stick together, in which case you would have to have them pulled apart before you could get pregnant again. They say repeat D&C's can lead to an incompetent cervix. I'm afraid they downplay the risks since it's the same procedure they use for abortions and most doctors don't want to scare people out of abortions, so I'm just going to let nature take care of it for me. I'm terrified about the prospect, but it still seems to be the better alternative.

[azmountainmama]

just a thought.

for those of you in the midst of miscarriage please keep black and blue cohosh around in case of a hemmorage. which would look like soaking a pad in less than an hour. 2 weeks ago i soaked 4 in 15 minutes. i downed the tinctures and waited. i ended up calling 911 and going threw that whole ordeal. the cohoses kicked in just as the paramedics arrived. so if you do feel that you are bleeding too much do not wait to take it.
that said, it is very rare to have a hemmorage with an early miscarriage and usually all goes as nature intends. just be prepared.

be well sisters and god bless.

[Jacque Savageau]

Oh my sisters. My heart is just aching for all of you. Please do what your heart tells you and listen to your bodies.

Be very gentle with yourselves. Keeping hydrated is very important right now. Try to get rest when you can. I know it's hard knowing what's happening within your body, but you must care for yourself too. Eat small healthy meals througout the day. Try to eat foods high in iron such as, spinach and beets. When your bleading, your iron level can suffer.

I'm thinking of you all today. I'll light a single candle to remind me of our sisterhood and how we ache together for the babies we loved and desperately wanted.

Sending you peace and healing thoughts.

[ediesmom]

Az and Joy,

I just want to chime in and say you two are so beautiful. Allowing this to come naturally is something I never would have thought of. What a beautiful tribute to your babies.

Thank you both for offering me support when you are in pain yourselves. What strong, wonderful women I have in my life.

Randee

[3girls1boy]

I became pregnant unexpectedly early in 2000. I didn't have ultrasounds with my other pregnancies, but for some reason I agreed to have one early on this time. At the u/s, they couldn't detect a heartbeat, but said it might just be too early in the pregnancy (I was 10 weeks along) or perhaps I had miscalculted my dates. I knew my dates were solid and so I started to prepare myself for the possibilty that I might lose the baby. I went in for a couple of those HCG tests, but after 2, I told the doctor I didn't see the point of having anymore. At that point the hormone levels were going up, but not at the rate that they should have been.

I felt strongly that it was up to God whether the pregnancy would go on or not. 2 weeks later, I started to spot and by the second day I was bleeding heavily. I felt okay, so I stayed at home, but at one point in the middle of the night, I went to the bathroom and the room started to spin, so I had my DH call an ambulance. I went to the hospital where they confirmed that I was miscarrying, but a D & C didn't seem to be necessary. While at the hospital, I passed the placenta. (I never did see the embroyo, and I suspect it ended up in the toilet, where DH flushed it away without really looking at what was there)

I felt very lucky not to have had a D & C. I felt somehow better that, if my body was failing me in the pregnancy, at least it could miscarry on it's own. I also felt those 2 weeks were helpful in preparing me for the loss.

Peace and healing to you. Jeanne

[LizD]

D&C really has very low risk nowadays. Mulitple elective abortions are no longer regarded as a risk for incompetent cervix, according to Williams Obstetrics. Remember legal abortion has been around for 30 years and with practice, regulation and training comes safety. Multiple elective abortions are also no longer absolutely considered a risk for placenta previa.

The later the procedure is performed, the higher the risk, which may be why some friends and doctors recommend just getting it over with. If you miscarry naturally and not all the tissue is expelled, it can fester in there and you may need one anyway. The risks are still low, and complications are rare and depend upon the experience and care of the doctor. A perforated uterus often heals itself, but again, this is less complex the earlier it happens. You will also be given methergine to contract the uterus afterwards and bring out whatever is left in there, as well as the natural blood loss. An advantage to planning the D&E is that you don't need general anesthesia, which you will certainly have if it is an emergency. Also, as with second-trimester abortions, you have the option of doing it over the course of 2 days, which is easier on the cervix. The first day laminaria (compressed seaweed sticks) are inserted in the cervix. They absorb secretions and gently dilate as they do; you will be on valium when they're put in and tylenol or codeine the rest of the evening. This way the manual dilation of the cervix with instruments is not as abrupt. The rest of the procedure is done usually under twilight anesthesia unless you prefer general.

There is also saline abortion, if your doctors have reason to want you to do it soon. You are in the hospital and have to labor and deliver the baby, but for some women this is easier. (It would be for me). Saline abortions are out of fashion but might be an option if your doctor is willing. I read recently that it is often helpful for the parents to see the baby they have lost, to be sure themselves the life is gone and that it was normal and not their fault. At such a vulnerable and painful time it can be hard to ask for what you need, but take the time to consider these options and require your caregivers to meet your needs.

I hope some of the above is helpful. I would rather do it alone and at home, if I needed to, but I must say that after ten weeks I might feel better with a D&C. I am really sorry to read of your loss and hope the support you have is some comfort to you.

[pie]

Most of my miscarriages have occurred at 4 - 5 weeks and this that i am suffering now will be the second that I have chosedn to let occur naturally. I hate the bright lights and coldness of the hospital and would do anything to avoid it. I have the support of my husband and the knowledge that my body is more than capable of healing itself. I will wait this one out and hope to avoid the doctor. The last natural miscarriage I had went as well as such a thing can and I am assuming this one will too. Glad to know I am not alone in wanting to allow my spirit and my body heal me. This is so hard to deal with. I hope to heaven it is the last time I will ever have to suffer this.

[Jacque Savageau]

mamapie, I had no idea you were miscarring. I'm so very sorry for you and your family.

Please keep us posted on how your doing and feel free to turn to us for support. We're hear for you and care deeply.

[Nursing Mother]

I am sorry for all your losses, miscarriages sure are painful.

4 years ago I choose to miscarry at home at 16 weeks. The ultrasound showed no heartbeat, and 10 days later the bleeding started. I choose NOT to go to the hospital. My midwife gave me some strong herbs to start the uterine contractions. The miscarriage took about 2 weeks of heavy bleeding. I drank a lot of fluids and just stayed home and cried while I was bleeding. My friends thought I was crazy, but I knew this was the way it was meant to be. My children rallied around me and always left the door of the bathroom open and used the downstairs BR so I could run in when needed. There was a lot of blood, but it was controlable.

After it was all over I had an appt. with the Midwife and they assured me it was complete, they did an iron count and I was low, so started taking extra iron and fluids. Two months later I was pregnant with dd #5.

I would choose to stay home again. The experience was very healing. No Dr. to surgery, no strangers, just family.

[jordmoder]

I have posted this elsewhere, but this is my story. Last May when I thought I was 13 weeks pregnant, an ultrasound showed no heartbeat and a baby that wasn't "right" anyway. The thought was that the baby's heart had stopped a few days before.

There was a perinatologist involved (I was in a study) and he was so kind ... he offered to do a D/C but also initiated and honored the possibility of "letting nature take it's course", and that it usually took 2-3 weeks from a loss to completion of the process.

We chose to stay home, and 11 days later, with the help of homeopathic blue and black cohosh I went through what felt very much like a labor, birthed the poor wee one in the shower and then unfortunately the placenta didn't come out and we had to rush to the ER because I was bleeding too much. (blech) They didn't do anything except pull out the placenta and give me some IV fluids. They also were very respectful.

But you know, I don't think I would do it any other way. It felt like I had allowed myself the completion of the cycle, and my dh and I had done it ourselves.

And Mamapie, I hope you don't have to do this again, either!

Barbara

[SweetGuayaba]

I know this thread is old but I can't tell you how it has helped me to read all these posts. I am now going through a m/c. I was around 5-6 wks pregnant when I started having symptoms. It started with some pain and light pink staining when I would wipe myself. I went on bedrest but 2 days ago I started bledding when i would have a bowel movement and yesterday I "gave birth". From what I could tell it seemed I expelled everything. I am still bleeding some not too much though and sometimes feel slight pain. I am monitering the bleeding and temp in case to make sure I don't get an infection or hemorrage but so far nothing seems to indicate either. I think the pain I feel may be due to my uterus being bruised from the work it did yesterday and trying to get back to normal. This is my 3rd pregnancy and 2nd m/c. The first m/c was very different, it was a missed miscarrieage and we waited 3 weeks for it to happen naturally at which point my then Dr. said a D&C was neccesary. The D&C was a horrid experience physically and emotionally and I want to try and avoid it this time. I thought I was alone in my concept of Natural m/c and found this thread while searching online. It is a godsend. I feel just like Sarah that God has made my body work this way. I have also had a hard time finding support. The DR (which was sipposed to be supportive of natural methods) was an alarmist when i called stating I needed to get to the emergency room immediately and do a D&C. I then called a Naturopath because I wanted to see if there was anything natural I could take to support my body through this ordeal. His secretary was horrid and said the same as the DR had and I wasn't even asking her i wanted to talk to the Naturopath and she kept repeating the party line I had to get agitated for her to final put me through. I never even got to select my midwife or tell family and friends I was pregnant. We only found out 2 weeks before this happened. So I have few people to look to for support. DH is great but quiet and non-expressive. He is taking great care of me and handling our dd and the house so I can rest. Finding out that there are other women who have been through this and chosen the same route when possible fills me with strength. I do have concerns about future pregnancies and fear because I certainly don't want to got through this again. I am hoping that discussing this with women who have experienced the same will help me get some answers and hope.
Thank you
Carla

[SweetGuayaba]

just a thought.

for those of you in the midst of miscarriage please keep black and blue cohosh around in case of a hemmorage. which would look like soaking a pad in less than an hour. 2 weeks ago i soaked 4 in 15 minutes. i downed the tinctures and waited. i ended up calling 911 and going threw that whole ordeal. the cohoses kicked in just as the paramedics arrived. so if you do feel that you are bleeding too much do not wait to take it.
that said, it is very rare to have a hemmorage with an early miscarriage and usually all goes as nature intends. just be prepared.

be well sisters and god bless.

Thank you for this information. I am in the midst of an m/c right now and trying to deal with it naturally. Bleeding seems normal and under control but I do want to have these on hand just in case. The only liquid blue and black cohosh I found are the extracts by Gaia Herbs. They each come in 1oz bottles. Would these work? Also should i take the recommended dosage/instructions on bottle or is there special dosage/instructions for this type of emergency?
Thanks
Carla