I hate that everyone thinks my medical records should be public property now...

[Beth-TX]

We made our big announcement today at my dd's 2nd birthday party. It's wonderful to be "out of the closet", so to speak, but *immediately* the questions began. Are you having morning sickness? Was it planned? How long did you try? Soon it's going to be, How much weight have you gained :angry .

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but I really feel like most of this stuff is nobody's business but my own and possibly my husband's. I understand that most people mean well, but I really dislike discussing my bodily functions with people. I just wish pregnancy could be a more private thing. I hate that suddenly my body is public property.

Oooh--also I hate how I'm not allowed to have strong feelings about *anything* while I'm pregnant. If I express a strong opinion or dare to get angry at all, "It must be the hormones!", often said with a chuckle or knowing smile.

Where's the "smacking someone upside the head" smilie?

OK. Finished with my rant. Maybe it *is* the hormones...

peace, Beth

[LizD]

Congrats, Beth, and it is maddening how pregnancy seems to render a woman defenseless and devoid of privacy.

Naomi Wolf's Misconceptions discusses this issue a bit. I recommend it though her and her peers' experience of childbirth and mothering is quite different from mine. still, a very good read.

There's also the desire of total strangers to put their hands on a pregnant lady's belly! I am a doula and I don't do that unless invited, or she's in labor!

[lilyka]

It goes both ways. No one ever asked how my pregnancy was going. I felt really slighted that noone ever cared enough to ask those things. on the other hand I would have gotton sick of it is people -especially ones I didn't know well -were always asking me those things.

ABout the "must be hormones. " I *HATE* that. I have vague memories of being pregnant with my first one and and someone really hurt my feelings and I was crying and then someone said must be the hormones and I totalty bit thier head off for it. This is right up there with "Must be that time of month" comments and I believe it is leagal to deck someone for making such comments.

[Beth-TX]

Oh yeah, I really dislike the 'hands on the belly' thing too. I used to know this woman who, every time she saw me, would literally *attach* herself to my belly and not let go for several minutes.

I think this time around, if anyone touches my belly without permission, I'll just put my hand on *their* belly. See if *they* feel violated at all...

peace, Beth

BTW, I am just absolutely exhausted from my dd's birthday party. I am over the moon excited about this pregnancy--I just felt the need to b!tch a little after a stressful day with the relatives...

[Mamaste]

I hadn't realized you were expecting -- woohoo! :balloons

Is that why you haven't rescheduled our area gathering, you First Trimester Mama, you? :rolleyes: (Just kidding ... Rest up and enjoy!)

[Beth-TX]

I wasn't expecting last time I saw you...

Somehow having a pack of toddlers demolish my house isn't at the top of my list of priorities right now...:) But, check the boards, a new playgroup is in the works.


Oh, and I thought of one more thing to complain about (I swear, this is the last time! What else can there be, really?). I really bugs me that I have to justify every little cup of coffee or sip of my husband's beer (I've had a weird craving for beer. Isn't that awful? It's easily satisfied by a little sip, though). Ok that's it. I hope no one thinks I'm a horrible, ungrateful person. I think it's easy to focus on the negative when you're in your first trimester and not into the "good" stuff yet.

peace, Beth

[Viola]

I had a craving for beer, and I took a little sip of one. I also had a non-alcoholic beer during the Superbowl, but I didn't like it. Normally I don't mind them.

I've been drinking decaf coffee when I drink coffee, but I do drink regular iced tea at times which was something I didn't do until the last trimester with my first. I am 12 weeks pregnant and haven't told my friends or family yet, and have been enjoying having no one knowing. I got very upset at a crack that my husband made to me in front of others, and I left the house. If people had known I was pregnant, I'm sure they would have chalked my sensitivity up to that.

[busybusymomma]

I know! It's annoying isn't it?

For me, people aren't too nosy except they are ALWAYS asking my edd. When I tell them the end of April they want the specific date. Grrr. :rolleyes:

People are just curious but when you're the preggo momma who gets asked a million times a day it gets really old really fast! :bang

[Beth-TX]

For me, people aren't too nosy except they are ALWAYS asking my edd. When I tell them the end of April they want the specific date. Grrr.

heh. heh.

We're intentionally telling people "early November" just so we don't have a million phone calls on our due date (October 31). It's making my FIL crazy already!

peace, Beth

[busybusymomma]

Originally posted by Beth-TX
heh. heh.

We're intentionally telling people "early November" just so we don't have a million phone calls on our due date (October 31). It's making my FIL crazy already!

peace, Beth

That's an excellent idea and I wish I had told people something like May 1 or something. However, I'm doubting I'll make it to my due date so hopefully that won't be a problem. :rolleyes:

My friend went overdue by two weeks in January and wishes she had told people one or two weeks after her edd since her first baby was late too. Live and learn! :thumb

[mamaley]

I totally know what you mean. We just started announcing our pregnancy, and this couple each separately asked me, first thing, if it was planned. I think that is so rude. What difference does it make?

[Beth-TX]

My friend went overdue by two weeks in January and wishes she had told people one or two weeks after her edd since her first baby was late too. Live and learn!

Totally. My first was 2 weeks late too. My FIL kept saying things like, "no pressure, but..." as if I had any control over it!

peace, Beth

[busybusymomma]

Originally posted by mamaley
I totally know what you mean. We just started announcing our pregnancy, and this couple each separately asked me, first thing, if it was planned. I think that is so rude. What difference does it make?

Believe it or not, my boss asked me that very thing! :eek Of course, my dh had been laid off and just gotten a new job, but still! :rolleyes:

[Greaseball]

I don't mind if someone asks my EDD or "if I know what it's going to be yet" but I've had people who I just met ask me if it was planned. One guy asked if I knew who the father was, but he (the guy who asked) isn't really too bright, so he can be forgiven.

Some people ask me what position I conceived in! It's not like I even knew the actual day; why would I know the position? (They claim it's a surefire way to tell the gender; that's why they wanted to know.:))

And I didn't get the hand-on-the-belly! No one ever asked about weight gain either.

[LGSW]

hi Beth! I'm in TX too. I can commiserate. With my first pregnancy I was working full time and only married 4 months before I conceived. People had to give me knowing glances and one woman even asked if it was planned (she was a snotty person though).

For some reason, the word "pregnant" sounded so clinical to me, maybe because it is said more with disdain or pity in our culture regarding young or unmarried women (I am young, but not unmarried!). I sort of think people assume that if you are young and pregnant, you got that way by ignorance or something. i knew I was being overly sensitive but I would have prefered people to say "She's expecting" instead of "she's pregnant."

I'm not as sensitive about it this time around, probably because I've being through pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and motherhood once and I feel confident in the role. No one can cluck their tongue at me and say, "oh just wait till you feel the first contraction, you'll want drugs" or "breastfeeding doesn't work for everyone" or "just wait till that baby has you up all night" or "you need to show that baby who is in charge" or whatever.

I know totally what you mean, people feel free to ask questions about your cerivcal change and everything! LOL Sometimes you just want to curl up and hide your body from everyone because it is YOURS and it's weird to be on display all the time!

No one ever touches my belly, thank goodness. I sort of wish I could share the baby's movements with someone like my sister (who is so far from ever marrying or having a baby) but she acts really awkward and asks me questions in weird ways, so I get sort of private whenever she comes around.

If ANYONE ever dares to say "Was this planned" I always say "Of course!" I would even say that if I conceived a baby 2 months after giving birth. I just don't think it's their place to ask me that and definitely none of anyone's business but mine and dh.

[Greaseball]

If ANYONE ever dares to say "Was this planned" I always say "Of course!"

Well yeah, even if it wasn't planned by me it was planned by some force greater than myself who knew that's what was supposed to be!

[Shulammite]

midway through my second pregnancy I finally got the guts to do this: whenever anyone said any of the aforementioned stuuuuupid things (and all the hundreds of others we all know and loathe) I would wipe all emotion from my face, look the person straight in the eye, and say, in good Vulcan deadpan, "why are you asking me that?" Without the annoyance in your voice, the reality of the question becomes o-so-clear, and people realize immediately that they're being idiotic and rude. Without the annoyance, they can't say "oh look at your hormones rage," they just sputter and apologize and mend their ways. (for a while. most of the time:LOL) And you get to feel totally superior! It's great!

[Charmie981]

My MIL had the nerve to ask me during the end of my pregnancy how far dilated I was. I know most women share this information w/o a second thought, but I felt pretty weird about telling people "well, the dr. says this week I'm a fingertip and 60%." I felt weird enough about letting the dr. check every week!! MIL acted like it was a personal affront that I wouldn't tell her :rolleyes:. I didn't tell anyone, though. That's just not really stuff I talk about...This time I'm over halfway through the pg and haven't had one vaginal exam. Don't intend to until I'm in labor or grossly overdue. There's just no reason for them...

As far as craving beer, I have a friend who did the same thing and her MW said that it's b/c of the hopps in it containing iron. Try an absorbable iron supplement like chlorophyl added to your water or alfalfa (also a good diruetic to keep in mind as we approach the summer months).