Just found out and kind of upset...

[MsElle07]

I know many of you here are very happily pregnant, which is why I'm hoping some of your happiness will rub off on me. :) I have two kids already -- a boy who's 5 and a girl who's 3. I thought we were done having kids. I was on the minipill and still nursing, so I really must be meant to have this baby. But I was rather upset when I found out this morning -- a lot of plans, financial and otherwise, just went out the window. :(

I'm hoping I will be happy to be here soon! Anyone else with feelings of bewilderment?

[Ben's Mommy]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bewildered right now. I've been ttc for many, many months so my little one was quite planned. But I wanted to say welcome to our ddc and I look forward to getting to know you over these next 9 months! I'm sure it will just take a little while to sink in and you'll be thrilled very soon. :love

[MsElle07]

Thanks so much, Sandy. :) I look forward to getting to know you too -- congratulations on your pregnancy!

[ewp11100]

Oh man the news hit me hard to hun! I have a 2 year old and serious finacial issues. I had just gone back to work and now this, lol. I was on the mini pill too and nursing, but very little. With the insain nipple pain I finally cut out our one and only nurse time last week. Its' very hard to feel this way for me. My first child was VERY planned and wanted. We were so excited and over joyed. It makes me feel bad about myself that I don't feel the same now. I wrote a similair post and didn't get much of a responce so I thought I would let you know your not the only one:)

[LuvMyLittles]

:Hug
I feel for you. I'm a little in shock myself. It was 13 years between my previous pregnancies and this one is less than 13 months! Totally unplanned. We were so content.
But, I keep thinking about the little person in my belly: saying hello, wondering what it will be like to see my "youngest" as a big brother, remembering the smell of a new baby. Sure it means that certain plans are now a no go - things like going rafting next summer or getting a part time job. I've lived my whole life in "financial distress" though, so it may not bother me as much as those who are usually more confortable.
Your baby will be wonderful.

[Yo Becca]

Well, I'm not in the same boat, but downstream a little. We've been TTC for over a year, and it has been so frustrating. But DH just took a job that means we'll be moving to Shanghai. It seemed so manageable - me, him and our 2 year old. Now, the thought of having a newborn so far away from family who can help me, not to mention the SCARY medical system in China that I will be delivering in, or the possibility of having to come back to the US for insurance purposes - LOTS of unknowns. I can handle them as is, but it's scary with a little one growing.

My advice - go buy a little something for the baby. Not lots of money, just go buy the baby it's first present - a blanket or new onesie. It might bring up those feelings of happy anticipation.

Good luck!

[4imprints]

i'm right there with ya!!! This was a total surprise. Ok...so not total...but lets say its not my fault! DH just got a little too excited even though we both agreed that I DID NOT want to get pregnant in July or August. Well lo an behold...he didn't listen. What's new. So I just tested positive yesterday on the same day that I found out that my 15 month old son has a genetic abnormality (an extra chromosome) that is going to cause issues. So I don't know how to take it. Finances are horrible right now but things won't be soooo bad.

The thing that I'm reallllllly upset about is that my other two were also born in March! And now I'm due March 30!!!! I seriously could kill my DH. (just kidding, but a good kick won't hurt!) But my other two were due in April and were a month early so maybe this one will be too?

And another thing. I'll be 25 with 3 kids. Does that sound horrible?

Well....I guess I'll be lurking until I get doc tests and stuff.

[twilight girl]

:topic
But DH just took a job that means we'll be moving to Shanghai. It seemed so manageable - me, him and our 2 year old. Now, the thought of having a newborn so far away from family who can help me, not to mention the SCARY medical system in China that I will be delivering in, or the possibility of having to come back to the US for insurance purposes - LOTS of unknowns.

Wow! How cool for you all. I know it seems scary at first, but it will be such an adventure. We moved overseas when dd was juts 8 months. My only advice is that you get connected as soon as you can. LLL, playgroups, whatever so that you don't end up isolated.

We've been living in Costa Rica going on 4 years now. I realize it's not Shanghai, but if you want any advice from another expat, feel free to pm or e-mail me.

OP: I'm pg with our second, and it was very planned. Even so, I have alternating feelings of total joy, and total terror. I realize that this is going to change everything, and it won't be just me and dh and dd anymore. Hormones might also be playing a role in what you're feeling. I'm sure you'll find something to buoy your spirits soon :hug

[Arwyn]

I think occasional feelings of terror/bewilderment/uncertainty are normal even for those of us who tried for our pregnancies... Of course it's normal and expected for those who didn't. And it's ok - a new baby isn't all sweetness and light. You aren't a bad mother for feeling the negatives particularly strongly right now.

May you grow to love and find the joy in this new twist in your path.

[nznats]

Dont worry I feel the same way, I never wanted anymore kids after my daughter for various reasons but here I find myself pregnant with #2 I am hoping it passes but I dont feel the same about this pregnancy as I did about my daughters.

[LydiaJW]

I am still kind of feeling the same way. My daughter is 16 months and my son is 3. I was just getting comfortable having 2 that don't rely on me for absolutely everything, and now this. Plus being pregnant and dealing with 2 toddlers at the same time right now does not sound so great. But obviously this baby was meant to be, and I'm just prayin' that I get excited about it soon!! One of my friends advised me to go out and buy some newborn diapers and a tiny onesie and let the babyfever wash over me :-)

[cinnamonamon]

Yea, this was a big surprise for us too. Dh did NOT want any more, and I was (frankly) terrified at the thought. 2 is a handful, although I'll admit it's been much easier of late (other than temper tantrums, whineyness & "selective hearing"... but I digress). The night I counted on the calendar & realized how late I was (I fluxuate by a good 5 days), I just *knew.* I was in shock. So the next day I dragged the kids to the mall & bought a test at Target, then took it at Barnes & Noble (all in the mall). I was just dumbfounded. After 2 very planned babies...oops.

I had butterflies & the shakes all day. I told dh around 2am when we were about to go to bed. He said, "well, we really f***ed that one up, huh." It's been 2 weeks or so now, and he doesn't get irritated everytime I bring up baby anymore, so we have progress. I'm still kinda bewildered & am just focusing on pregnancy & the birth right now -- instead of on the realities of a 3rd.

I also had to give up the idea of buying my friend's internet dipe/natural products business, and the biking & camping trip for next year, along with a dh & I only weekend vaca for our anniversary next year. But it's a new life, my chance to have the girl I always thought I would have (I actually wanted 2 boys then 1 girl, and I've been right so far...;)). There's a baby growing in there -- and as I've started to feel my body change, I've lost the fear/anger/guilt and started to be excited.

It will come, mama. :hugs to you

[4imprints]

Well its only been 3 days since I took a test and I think I'm starting to get OK with it. I'm kind of mourning for my son right now because I expected to have a lot more time with him as the baby.

I havent' told DH yet though!!! Isnt that horrible! I'm a little scared to tell him and then m/c. He was crushed last time and didn't handle it well.

I still don't know when my due date is - heard 3 different things!

[lilAPmama]

This pregnancy came as a shock to us too. We have a 6 month-old DD. I was so NOT prepared to be pregnant again. I wanted to have time to enjoy my daughter for a few years before having another. Finances will be an issue..DH is inbetween jobs right now..but I am trying to stay calm and not worry too much. I know everything manages to work itself out in the end.

[ccohenou]

Dude, I was sooooo NOT thrilled to find out about this pregnancy. I can completely relate. I am adjusting to the idea and starting to look forward to a new little one, a new member of our tribe, a nice pregnant belly...
But like some pps I have two small children already and was starting to feel in the groove, they're more able to entertain themselves, they can stay with granny while we go to a movie once in a while, I was even thinking of going back to school soon, and it will just have to go on hold for a while. I knew I wanted one more child, I just felt really unprepared right now.
And BOY am I dreading morning sickness and exhaustion with a 2.5 and a 1 year old. Oh man.
My husband was very reassuring and okay, which meant the world to me. He had wanted to wait on another babe until after he graduates from law school, still 2 years in the future. Oh well.

[MsElle07]

Thank you all for chiming in. It does help to have your experience validated, and to feel that you're not alone.

To update, I am feeling much better about the whole prospect. It took about five days of getting used to the idea, and once I accepted there was nothing I could change, that this is what my life is meant to be (meaning that something in the universe knows better than I do), and took a while to mourn the loss of the life I thought I was going to be leading, I started to feel much better.

I hope everyone has a lovely journey through pregnancy, even if it wasn't what you were expecting!

[bjunkie]

I joined this forum to help me get excited about this :o

I have been :o of my thoughts about this pg. I am due about the 14? of Mar I think. Because of the extremely high likelyhood of m/c at my age, I haven't really embraced yet. I have been :o of feeling if I m/c it would be a relief *at this point*. Those are my true feelings. I know I would also be sad, but that all I can think of is relief : (

I am sure though as time goes on, I will embrace (if it continues) and accept. Somehow we will manage.

You are not alone in your thoughts.......

bjunkie

[MsElle07]

:hug, bjunkie. I had those feelings at first, too.

[blessed with boys]

I hate to admit it but I was thinking thoses exact same things...I hope its just my hormones kwim.
Jackie

[DreamsInDigital]

I'm from the Feb 2007 DDC, though I'll likely have a March baby, but at first I struggled to accept this pregnancy, only 7 months after my 3rd child was born. I still struggle with enjoying it or getting excited but it has gotten easier as time passes. I'm wishing you the strength to get through this, mama. :hug