View Full Version : Mothers of Color
I called it MOC, for lack of a better term. Is there a better term that we can embrace her? Personally, I don't like MOC.
Anyhoo, this thread has been started in response to those who say, "Start a thread and keep it going and we'll consider giving you a forum."
So, here it is. What do we wanna discuss?
Welcome!:p
:hippie
Kylix
03-18-2003, 01:19 AM
Thank you Chaka for starting this. I should have done it myself since I was the one who complained but I dug my heels into the sand and felt like a martyr in some respects :sheepish grin emoticon.
Some people have liked Marginalized Parents better. Personally, the title doesn't make one bit of difference to me.
One thing that has been on my mind before this topic came up and especially since it did was how we marginalized mamas (and mamas to be for me) intend to raise our children to both embrace their heritage and shed the boundaries put in place by them.
Meaning, I want to raise my children that they are Black but also that there is no such thing as race. That is kind of contradictory in a way and my mother thinks of that as almost selling out. I think race is a myth biologically and anthropologically but I think it is very real socially. While I want to teach my future children about their ancestry, I also want them to know that there is nothing fundamental about being Black. Do you know what I'm getting at? Because the more I try to put into the words, the more I confuse myself.
Kylix
Oh, I get you. I know "white" ppl who know more abt being "black" than I do. :rolleyes: :p I usually put the colors in quotes, b/c it's really an insidious notion that they are white and we are black.
I grew up in all-"white" neighborhoods and schools, so my only "black" experiences were around my bourgeois family. In college was where I finally got to hang around "regular black ppl". (I will stop using the quotes in my next post, I think...this is cumbersome!)
I have decided not to aim to teach my children anything about being "black". I think daily life will teach them all they need to know. I will teach them history and things like that, but since we are not just descendants of Africans, I feel that focusing on that one aspect would be damaging.
Personally, I dislike the term "race". Technically, there is only one race...the human race. There are no sub-catagories or sub-species. So, I try not to use that term as much as possible. I also dislike "minority" and a host of others. :p I'm just me, you know?
We will homeschool, and the major reason for that is b/c of the messages sent in the US to and about "black" ppl. And, honestly, I don't know many "black" ppl that I can stand to be around for too long, so I don't want their kids adding to the questions my kids have about what it means to be "black".
We don't discuss our plans with family. I think some wonder about us, b/c we breastfeed and don't have a crib and we never leave the baby (he'll be one on the 23rd) with anyone. But, they don't question us on things, which is good.
I'm sorry I don't know anything about you! How many kids do you have? I have 3, 4 and under. 2 boys, 1 girl.
member
03-18-2003, 07:22 AM
Hi! :wave :wave :wave
I am off to work, but wanted to say that I found the thread and I am interested in participating.
member
03-18-2003, 07:27 AM
Also wanted to say that I agree that in a theorhetical context race does not exist as we all know -- there is not biological consequence of race. However in a social, economic, and cultural context I believe there is and as we can see it clearly institualized racism.
I also despise the term minority. POC can be confusing for people who don't have the critical skills to decern that color does not mean comparing skin tone to a crayon. Marginalized Parents is a good catch-all, but I think it is too open to interreptation - APers of all sorts could be defined at Marginalized Parents.
Really, gotta go now...
Well, I think this is gonna be a nice, productive thread. I look forward to "seeing" you all here, and more folks, hopefully.
:hippie
pixiemama
03-18-2003, 08:52 AM
We will homeschool, and the major reason for that is b/c of the messages sent in the US to and about "black" ppl. And, honestly, I don't know many "black" ppl that I can stand to be around for too long, so I don't want their kids adding to the questions my kids have about what it means to be "black".
What message is that exactly? I can't believe you actually wrote the above. :eek Maybe I'm just not clear on your meaning, could you elaborate a little please?
It means that, in my opinion, there are too many socially-unaware, non-introspective black ppl in my area, and I choose not to hang around them, b/c I don't see them as progressive in any way. I also don't want my kids to hang around theirs, b/c kids tend to reflect what is thought/felt/taught/allowed in the home, and I generally don't agree with those things.
For example, I don't see anything cute about 4-year-olds who can sing and dance like the current hot video-ho, but don't know the alphabet. I don't see the need to expose my children to ppl (or their children) who don't share my basic beliefs.
Unfortunately, I have not met any black ppl in my area who share any of my mentality. The friends I have have moved and/or aren't parents, anyway.
I ride the bus, and I get so saddenned by the black kids in my area. All they can seem to discuss is fighting, who dissed whom, how ugly so-and-so was. I mean, there's nothing but negativity. I can't blame it all on "society", b/c their parents are to blame, too.
Are you also asking about my views on the USA and it's racist leanings? :LOL This could get long.
pixiemama
03-18-2003, 09:17 AM
I never thought about it until I found myself :nod to what you wrote. I remember being soo pleasantly surprised when we were looking for a sitter for an evening alone and a couple friend of ours volunteered. They are a black couple and the wife asked me if I was nursing(dd was about a month old). I said yes and she proceeded to tell me how she had ENd all her kids! :jaw How sad is it that it was surprising to me?
Another question for you, is it only black people you see behaving that way in your area? I don't see the need to expose my children to ppl (or their children) who don't share my basic beliefs. So that's really not a "race" issue at all! Or is it? :confused: I'd love to hear your views on this country and it's racist leanings. Please, school me! :LOL Edited to add, guess there was more of a need for this thread than I thought and my grammar is bad, really, really, bad.
pixiemama
03-18-2003, 09:25 AM
BTW, is it ok if my almost 3 y/o can sing the chorus to rap songs, but also knows his colors and shapes? I try to keep him balanced. :LOL:D
maatmama
03-18-2003, 09:33 AM
Hi everyone.....I am glad to join the discussion...I am a moc from nj with a 2yo ds....teacher.....sometimewriter......daydreamer.. ..scifiaddict....bigtime reader............
Kylix
03-18-2003, 12:31 PM
I'm so happy to see this thread thriving :D
Chaka Falls-- I'll do a quick intro. I'm Kylix. I'm a 20 year old student that has been learning about AP since I was about 17. I first heard about it on TV and got interested and found my way here. :)
I too want to homeschool and for many of the reasons that you stated (but not just those reasons). I also grew up in a predominantly white area and now I go to a university that has about a half and half (I think) population of white and black. I'm loving it.
Because of the way I grew up (with parents who had PhD and a MD and the upper middle class neighborhood), I spoke with proper grammar and wore very mainstream designer clothes (cuz that's what everyone else was wearing and I wanted to fit in). I was often told by the black people I was around that I was trying to "act white". These black people were trying to convince me that "acting black" meant talking only in vernacular or ebonics, wearing baggy clothes and not trying hard in school. But this was just the point of view of the those particular black people. At the time, I believed them and felt very unsure of myself.
But now I know that I speak with "proper grammar" because that is just what comes out of my mouth naturally, I like hippy style clothes and beaded necklaces, I plan on breastfeeding my kids for long periods of time, I'm a vegetarian and I like rock just as much if not more as I like rap and none of these things make me any less or more "black" than the next person.
That being said, I do find myself being surprised just like CkfromBk said when I find Black people who EN (like my cousin) etc. because sometimes I do feel like I'm a rarity. It's nice to talk to you mamas and see that there are more of us out there.
Kylix
Kylix
03-18-2003, 12:39 PM
CkfromBk--
BTW, is it ok if my almost 3 y/o can sing the chorus to rap songs, but also knows his colors and shapes? I try to keep him balanced.
:LOL :rotflmao
I too find myself not agreeing with the way some (but not all) black kids are being raised. I think that some of it is due to the fact that black families have a harder time balancing it all especially since there are soooo many single parent households. I guess it is just easier to turn on the TV and not monitor while you need to get some work done. TV has some very racially stereotyped roles in it and I don't know that I would want my children exposed to that unmonitored. It seems that people think it is funny to point out these stereotypes in movies. And I admit I do laugh at them too but they are also very sad. The most salient example I can think of is the new Chris Rock movie coming out which just perpetuates the idea that a Black man in the white house is a hysterical idea because he can't be serious and do the job well as opposed to all the straight laced, cool headed white people in the movie. The preview just makes me sad though I'm sure that if I were to go and see it (which I won't) I would find myself laughing.
I too am loving this thread. I just feel so comfortable and at ease talking about these topics here.
Kylix
pixiemama
03-18-2003, 01:24 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Kylix
Because of the way I grew up (with parents who had PhD and a MD and the upper middle class neighborhood), I spoke with proper grammar and wore very mainstream designer clothes (cuz that's what everyone else was wearing and I wanted to fit in). I was often told by the black people I was around that I was trying to "act white". These black people were trying to convince me that "acting black" meant talking only in vernacular or ebonics, wearing baggy clothes and not trying hard in school. But this was just the point of view of the those particular black people. At the time, I believed them and felt very unsure of myself.
Ah, the infamous "act white" problem. :rolleyes: Even though I was born in New York, I lived in St.Lucia till I was 7. When I went back to NY and started school, of course, I got the "why you talk white?" questions. I could not loose my proper grammar or my west india accent fast enough. Can you believe kids in 3rd grade were doing this?! Now, I embrace both "ebonics" and "proper" grammar. There is a time and a place for each one!
But now I know that I speak with "proper grammar" because that is just what comes out of my mouth naturally, I like hippy style clothes and beaded necklaces, I plan on breastfeeding my kids for long periods of time, I'm a vegetarian and I like rock just as much if not more as I like rap and none of these things make me any less or more "black" than the next person.
I'm glad you've realized that! Good for you with all your AP mama plans! :p
pixiemama
03-18-2003, 01:32 PM
I think that some of it is due to the fact that black families have a harder time balancing it all especially since there are soooo many single parent households. I guess it is just easier to turn on the TV and not monitor while you need to get some work done.
Hey, I resent those comments! You sound a little elitist there and elsewhere. Please, don't make assumptions, don't enough people do that on a daily basis? My mom was a single mother while we(me and bro) were growing up and did the best to insure we were middle of the middle class! :LOL Just b/c there are single parent households doesn't mean they let the television babysit their kids. I was lucky enough to be exposed to the arts, go to good schools, and be afforded just about every opportunity my friends in a 2 parent household were.
TV has some very racially stereotyped roles in it and I don't know that I would want my children exposed to that unmonitored.
Definitely agree with that. You know, they, the infamous they say: what makes a joke funny is if it has a little bit of truth in it.
pixiemama
03-18-2003, 01:45 PM
...
I just wanted to start this post by saying that I hope all the "black" talk doesn't keep non-black MOC from posting here. This thread is for all of us. :D
OK-now to the "acting white" thing... :p I don't recall ppl saying that to my face (of course, where were the black ppl who would have said that? we didn't hang around any), but I have felt "out of place" in large groups of blacks as an adult, b/c I didn't really get the slang. Is that sad? I don't know. It's funny, tho! My dh is from the ghetto (really ghetto), and he finds me to be very interesting. I'm not what he was used to, at all. Nor is he what I was used to. I guess that keeps our relationship fresh...we teach each other. It's amazing the things that he's never been exposed to (you know, from my perspective) simply b/c he was in the ghetto and his family is still there, basically. Our childhoods were nothing alike.
That said, I know I have passed judgement on him b/c some things he thinks/says/does are just sooooo ignorant. Like, his taste in music. This super-intelligent, forward-thinking brother was into the most disrespectful (and IMO, pointless) music out there. I finally got him to really examine his taste in music when I asked him why he would pay someone to cuss him out and put the most horrible images in his head. Also, I won't let him play that stuff around our kids. He trips me out b/c he has started asking other ppl why they pay to listen to ppl cuss them out. So, I realize he's beginning to understand.
I must admit, we watch too much TV. Not me, personally, anymore, but the family. I try not to let the kids see too much(unless we're watching The Bernie Mac Show, which I'm a little on edge about). We tend to only allow educational shows for them, when they watch. Like Between the Lions. I actually can't stand having a TV (we have to pay for cable in order to get any reception here...so I have the whole "why am I paying to be oppressed and stereotyped in my own home?" thing going on :p ). But, dh can't live without it. I've cancelled it so many times, but he grew up watching a lot of TV and still likes to do so. I see it as (usually) a waste of quality family or "us" time. But, I'll admit to cracking up (while shaking my head) at Comic View.
Two weekends ago, I met an old lady in dh's family for the first time. She watched me nurse the baby and asked me about it. At first, I thought she was going to comment on the nastiness of it or something, but, instead, she complimented me. She kept watching me and telling me what a great mother I am. She kept asking if dh is good to me. I said yes. But, you know, in my head, I was thinking He's a good man, but I still don't have my house on 20 acres of land. Or my decked out minivan. How shallow is that? :rolleyes: I told dh about her continuous questioning, and he replied, "She asked you that b/c all her sons and grandsons have a tendency to beat their women. She wanted to know if I beat you." I was saddened to hear that. Very saddened.
Anyway, this is getting long. :D I know there are black parents out there who put their kids first and really try to grow as ppl (like y'all, apparently :p ), but I don't see any in my area.
And, yes, that really does apply to white ppl, too. But, I expect more from black ppl. Even tho, I know I shouldn't.
I have issues. :rolleyes:
:hippie
About me: I'm a 27-year-old SAHM with 3 kids: ages 4,3, and 1 on Sunday! Yay! I'm married and putting all my energy into enjoying it. *heh* We've been together 7 years, married for 2. It took me a while to commit to him. I'm like that. :rolleyes:
pixiemama
03-18-2003, 03:17 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Chaka Falls
That said, I know I have passed judgement on him b/c some things he thinks/says/does are just sooooo ignorant.
:nod Same here with DH. I do admit, I do pay to have people cuss me out. Despite the violent and misogynistic lyrics, I can't keep away. :LOL My favorite groups are groups like A Tribe Called Quest and the Roots though. The conscious rap groups seem to fit in more with my hippie way of thinking on some things. :hippie I do like Jay-z though. :rolleyes: I don't listen to it when the kids are around b/c I am usually forced to listen to The Wiggles and sing "Fruit Salad" all day long. Hehe. DS hears "that" music when he is in the car with Daddy who to my knowledge, must be trying to make our kids go deaf by the volume level of the music he plays in his car. Anytime DS hears a car with bass driving don our street, he runs to the window thinking it's Daddy. :rotflmao
We(meaning the kids and I) don't watch much tv. DS is allowed to watch an hour to two hours a day. We also have to pay for cable to get reception here. We tried going tv free for a few months, but DH hated it. Insisted he need to watch sports. Men :rolleyes:
But, I'll admit to cracking up (while shaking my head) at Comic View.
You can actually watch Comic View? Just the intro alone makes me wanna hurl. It reminds me of commercials where black people are always singing and dancing as if that's all we can do. I find those competely offensive. I mean, I'm not gonna eat at Burger's R Us b/c there is some corny song in the commercial. :rolleyes:
So sad to hear about the tendencies of your husband's family. Sounds like you guys have a great relationship even though you don't have a decked out minivan. :LOL
:LOL That minivan will probably never happen, but a girl can dream.
I loooove The Roots. Do you have their last album? Very different, but I still like it. Esp. that song w/Coby Chestnut. Should I admit to that? :eek :p Love Tribe, too. Dh actually has pretty eclectic musical taste. He listens to just about everything. As long as he keeps the videos off while the kids are around, I'm okay.
I can't believe I admitted to watching Comic View. :LOL I detest BET. It really is a whole bunch of shuckin' and jivin'. Have you seen the movie Bamboozled? It's pretty good, if you don't get too depressed. (I'm sensitive abt black ppl issues/past) But, dh's fave channels are BET and ESPN. Oh, and MTV. He's a music and sports fanatic. So, we deal.
My kids like the Wiggles, too! Funny. I don't like that show. I think it's b/c I feel like it's a Teletubbies rip-off, and I'm loyal like that. :D
OK, I'm not feeling very deep right now. :LOL
Kylix
03-18-2003, 04:56 PM
Hey, I resent those comments! You sound a little elitist there and elsewhere. Please, don't make assumptions, don't enough people do that on a daily basis?
Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. I didn't mean to make assumptions. I tend to think outloud and try to get into the perspectives of everyone. I know that if I were a single mother, I would have a hard time balancing housework, work outside the home, and raising kids but by no means did I mean that all do that. I feel like I'm putting my foot in my mouth even deeper by trying to explain so I'll just shut up now.
Kylix
Kylix :hug No harm intended, no harm done.
pixiemama
03-18-2003, 05:22 PM
Hey Kylix, don't feel bad! :hug
As for Chaka, the shuckin' and jivin' queen, :LOL no, I haven't seen the movie, maybe I should rent it? Have you seen the readings of The Slave Narratives lately on HBO? I am not usually a cryer, but I swear, some passages had me misty! :rolleyes: I don't have the Roots' last album, I think I spent that money buying the new J LO :rolleyes: and Justin Timberlake albums. Don't flame me, and don't laugh! :LOL Oh, what about that documentary on HBO, I think it was called Lalee's Kin about a family living in the Mississippi Delta in unbelieveable poverty. Like Pac said(can't believe I'm quoting a rapper), we have money for wars, but can't feed the poor. :rolleyes:
Anyone wanna talk hair? :scratch :dreads
Dee(I'm not deep....at all!) :LOL
:LOL
We don't have HBO anymore. Wah! I enjoyed it, but the budget didn't. We miss the Def Poetry. That was nice, even tho dh complained abt Mos Def every single time.
Um, could you burn me a copy of Justified? :blush :D
What about hair? I'm currently growing a fro. It will be big. Bigger than Erykah's. :p Bigger than Luda's.
Can I admit here that I have a crush on Ludacris?
*cough*
*hack*
That's all...
Kylix
03-18-2003, 07:04 PM
Aw, thanks guys! :D
I'm currently wearing my hair au naturel after years of straightening it. I feel so free! :) Some days I have really bad hair days but some days it looks fabulous.
I don't get HBO either. :(
Kylix
pixiemama
03-18-2003, 07:23 PM
I'm natural too. Sometime I rock a fro, sometimes a headwrap. My fro is somewhere between TWA and Luda sized. :LOL The pic in my sig was taken Christmas day. I had twist extensions. They were nice, but I can't wait until my own hair grows long enough for that style! :) Right now, my hair goal is to be able to pull it up into an afro puff. When it'll be that long, I have no idea! :confused:
So many people wanted a MOC forum, yet only three of us are posting in this thread...hmmmm. I see all the views, so stop lurking and start posting whoever you are! :D
3 natural mamas...oooh....sexy :p
I hope to be able to twist my hair, too. It grows so slowly now! I used to have the fastest growing hair when I relaxed it. Now, it's sooo slow. I think it's the hormones from always being pregnant and nursing. I'm very impatient, so I keep cutting it off (b/c it looks good really short). But, no more! I'm resolving to let it grow out.
I wanted locs for a long time, but after seeing my gf's up-close, I've decided that they're not for me. Twists will be more my style.
How do y'all do your kids hair? My dd usually has braids or twists. Right now, she's rockin' the puffs. I thought about locking her hair (she likes it on another little girl we know), but her hair is a lint magnet. I haven't figured out how to rebuff that, yet. She hates to wear things on her head (scarves, etc.), so I think there's no hope. I think she just detests feeling constricted, period. She hates to wear panties, too.
My boys just have the short cut, nothing special. I have considered locking ds1's hair, but dh won't let it grow out. He has issues surrounding long hair on males and homophobia. :rolleyes:
maatmom, selu, where are you?
pixiemama
03-18-2003, 08:14 PM
I have just recently started doing dd's hair. She's had cornrows a few times but it is no easy task trying to braid a 6 mo old's hair! :LOL She occasionally wears the front in 2 pony puffs. Since her ears aren't pierced, I like to do something that obviously makes her look like a girl so we don't get the "Boy, or girl" question.
We cut Naazir's hair when he was almost 2, and I regret it! He had the softest, fluffiest little fro. Just adorable. However, we have been letting his hair grow out the past few months and now he has a baby blowout, lol.
Chaka, can I ask how you decided on a third child? Although I keep telling myself and DH we are done. I find myself longing for that 3rd.:rolleyes:
Kylix
03-18-2003, 08:33 PM
I'm letting my hair grow out too. I cut it about 6 or 7 weeks ago and wish I hadn't. I've also stopped using shampoo totally. I read that shampoo is really bad for curly hair and black hair. It has too many detergents that just dry it out because you can never wash it completely out. I just do an intense wash with conditioner. I get my fingernails deep in there and work the sweat out. And since I don't have to worry about straightening it (which takes forever), I just rinse it out everyday and reapply some leave in conditioner and let it air dry.
Kylix
member
03-18-2003, 08:42 PM
I'm still here -- trying to catch up! I think we need some photos of these glam natural hairstyles! :D
But here's my intro --- 24 yo North American Indigenous Tsalagi woman married to a cool white guy. We live in the Midwest but are headed for Austin in a year. No kids yet but I am in major baby lust now and I am trying to convince DH to compromise on our agreed upon three year wait.
Other than AP and NFL stuff my interests include - pilates, running, organic living, cooking, powwows, Live Journaling, and chocolate.
I have a variety of career interests as well. I just graduated with my BA and I am currently working as a Patient Advocate at a women's clinic and I am in training with DONA.
bookish
03-18-2003, 10:04 PM
Ummm... hi, all - I hope it's ok if I thread crash?
(really though, I'm just following Selu here cause she promised I could be her girlfriend!! :eek Woooohoo! :love )
Like I said in the 'I'm offended' thread in TAO, I am a frequent reader here because I really do get a lot out of such a large crowd of AP/NFL/CD/etc etc positive people, but I haven't posted at all until today - too many.... issues, I guess, with the very things that are being discussed, things that I work hard to fight every day (from inside and out, iykwim? more than anything, I fight so that my children won't be in the same spot). But the hopeful part of me thinks - change CAN happen. I have to believe that.
birdwomyn
03-18-2003, 11:40 PM
Hi all...
I just came across the previous thread and searched out this one. I don't have much to add, but I just wanted to say hi -- I hate to be just a lurker....
I am white and pretty clear about the privileges that come with the lightness of my skin... however, I am also pretty ready to admit that I have much to learn.
Parts of your conversation reminded me of the diversity of class issues within all sub-groups of our culture. While I grew up with white privilege, it was, for me, in the context of being raised poor and female. It reminded me of the triple oppression issues that some MOC face: racism/classism/sexism.
Oppression and bigotry are so hard to eradicate... even when we try the hardest.... I have found this to be true around issues of homophobia as well...
Well, I don't want to co-opt this thread -- so until I have a relevant question or formed opinion, I will just lurk.... I hope you all don't mind.
Thanks!
kathybird
:w
birdwomyn and bookish
I don't mind lurkers. (I can't do anything about it, anyway!:p )
Selu, are you moving to Austin b/c of career and schooling? Austin is very,very pretty. (but I wouldn't want to live there. TX felt like a very racist state to me.)
I am part Cherokee. My nana (mom's mom) and great-nana(mom's dad). I am learning more abt that part of my heritage. My nana was adopted young and never talked about her childhood or heritage. I'm pretty sure now that she was a victim of the "take the kids and adopt 'em out to white ppl to learn to assimilate" era. (I don't remember what that was called.) It was obvious, tho, that she had had a very rough childhood, and adult life, too.
My great-nana killed herself in the whole Jim Jones debaucle. My mother never forgave her for that. As a result, she died before I was born and I never got to meet her. I'm sure she was a great woman, as my mother holds very fond memories of her and still misses her.
Ck, the 3rd wasn't planned. As a matter-of-fact, I didn't want to get pregnant at all, then. But, well, passion got the best of us, and he's the result of pulling-out. :D (we practice NFP) I was very depressed about it for a long time (I gain a lot of weight while pregnant, had just started slimming down again, and, well, I'm vain like that). But, as soon as he was born...well, I'm sure you know that feeling. Can't imagine not loving that cutie-pie. :love
Kylix, that's very interesting. So, you never wash the leave-in conditioners out? I feel like the conditioners pile up in my hair and make my head feel dirty.
I met an old lady years ago who hadn't washed her hair in over 20 years. She just used an antiseptic and toothbrush to clean her scalp and hairs. She also used something else, but I can't remember. She claimed it was much better for hair, and she did have pretty hair.
I use this Jojoba natural shampoo that I loved b/c it made my scalp feel really good (and helped it heal) after a cornrow w/extensions debaucle. (oh, the pain!) But, it doesn't affect me the same, anymore. I'm not sure that I'll continue paying $8/bottle for it.
We use tea tree oil on our scalps, and it feels and smells really good. I also make this loc butter that I use instead of hair grease. It smells good, too, and since it's all-natural, I feel much better about putting it on my babies.
member
03-19-2003, 06:51 AM
CF, no job opp in Austin yet! :rolleyes:
My best friend lives there and I just love the city so it seemed like as good a place as any to move. I am not too fond of TX either but Austin seems to be a nice place to live. I live is a city that is primarily white now and I want to live where I can see people who look like me everyday!
Plus, Austin is great for hbing and unschooling too!
pixiemama
03-19-2003, 08:09 AM
Kylix, you're talking about the "no poo" method. I have a friend who does this. I use a really gentle shampoo and conditioner. Occasionally, I use a tea tree oil shampoo, but only about once a month or my hair feels dry. I need to get a leave in conditioner to start putting in my hair, any you suggest? Selu, Bookish, and birdwomyn. :wave Bookish, your post at TAO was great and I hope to see you all over MDC!
Hey Chaka, not all of TX is bad. I live here(courtesy of the Army :rolleyes: ) and the area I'm in is pretty diverse, but I guess the large military population could be the cause. I'm about an hour from Austin and would love to live there. There's so much going on and it's a beautiful city. :thumb Texas is a great state af far as midwifery, and breastfeeding, I'll give it that. Could I get your loc butter recipe?
Sure. I've found that it's really conditioning, so I don't use a leave-in conditioner anymore. Here goes:
Loc Butter
2 T shea butter
2 T mango butter
2 T coconut oil
1 t lanolin
1 t sweet almond oil
1 t jojoba oil
1 t avocado oil
1/8 t fragrance oil of your choice
10 drops ylang-ylang (which I don't use; don't like the odor)
1. Melt ingredients together. (I do it in a little pot on the stove; never tried the microwave)
2. Let cool.
3. Pour into plastic/glass container w/lid.
4. I refrigerate mine to cool all the way and solidify.
This is good for hair and skin. If you double the recipe, you may need to alter the amounts of certain ingredients. I doubled it last time, and it has yet to solidify (unless I keep it in the fridge). It gets and stays solid (at room temp.) if you don't double it.
Kylix
03-19-2003, 11:52 AM
ChakaFalls--I feel like it builds up if I don't rinse my hair that day but I usually rinse my hair out in the shower once a day. Since I've stopped using shampoo, my hair has actually itched less. Maybe, it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy because I don't think it should itch but i dunno.
Leave in conditioners--Right now, I just use infusium 23. But I leave in the rinse out conditioner. I only leave in a little bit of it in though. I apply the conditioner and the wash most of it out but leave enough for moisture.
I've been looking for something to use on my scalp. I think I'm going to pick up some tea tree oil for that. I might try making that loc butter recipe but I mess about making concoctation so we'll see :D
WELCOME bookish, birdwomyn and hi again Selu!!!
Kylix
Kylix, tea tree oil, rosemary, and jojoba oil are all good for itchy scalps.
Jojoba is also good for nail beds.
abimommy
03-28-2003, 06:16 AM
I found the strangest thing..I got some Burt's Bees avacado hair treatment stuff and since I have been using it I noticed my nails look better already..my nails are horrid by the way..I have horrid frizzy hair and I found this "curl amplifier" by special effects that works really well on my hair. It has a lot of funny words for the ingrediants so I may try and make Chaka's fantastic sounding recipe instead....
My name is Jessica and I am 28 years old and I am Leni Lenape, which is generally referred to as the Delaware tribe, from my father's side and Lakota from my mother's side. My dh has some Blackfoot but his family doesn't have much info on it.
:w abimommy
Um, WTH happened to this thread? It's totally dead! :LOL
OK, ladies...I see at least one post (mine) was deleted. Somebody pm me w/the scoop, please.
CkfromBk, I PMed you back.
Um....EVERYBODY GET BACK IN HERE!
:love :love :love
:hippie :hippie :hippie
pixiemama
03-30-2003, 06:12 PM
I cleared my box!
OK, we need a topic.
Hmmm...let's try foods.
:LOL I have no idea what I'd like to say about food. We don't eat "soul food" around here. We don't eat pork or beef. We eat poultry and seafood. I've tinkered w/going veggie, but can't stomach the idea. I like my chicken, darnit! :LOL OK, there goes THAT stereotype.
Oh! Now, I have a true topic! How do we feel about stereotypes? I mean, I don't know any "black" ppl who don't like chicken. And, I really don't know any Southerners who don't like it. We don't eat black-eyed-peas unless it's New Years. That's usually when we eat greens, too, although I do like them. We need to eat them more often, but only one store here consistently sells good quality greens, and it's the farthest one from our home. (of course :rolleyes: )
Back on topic: There's a lot of truth in many stereotypes. A lot of falsehood, too. What are some of our fave or least-fave (as the case may be) stereotypes? And, what's the real problem with them, anyway?
Ok...I missed this thread. I was hoping I'd come back to some riveting conversation. But, no!
So, what's that stereotype about laziness? :p
DaryLLL
03-31-2003, 06:25 AM
Just wanted to say, welcome back, Chaka! :wave
Kylix
03-31-2003, 08:04 AM
Welcome back, Chaka!
I've been lurking around but not posting much either. I'm glad to see this thread hopping again. I'm glad to see you back too! :)
Stereotypes--I think there might be some truth in all stereotypes no matter who or what they are about. They came from somewhere but I don't think they are true about everyone. Meaning, maybe the stereotype about black ppl liking chicken has a kernel of truth to it because it came from somewhere but I'm black and I don't eat chicken. I'm a vegetarian!
. Right now, I'm thinking that I do sometimes enjoy the stereotype that black ppl are extraordinarily athletically skilled. That and really good singers. I feel like I can piggyback that since I'm really not either.
Least fav is probably the whole all black ppl are lazy criminals or whatever. Hey I may be lazy but I'm no criminal! :LOL
Kylix
Thanks for the welcome, ladies! :love
Let's take this stereotype discussion a little deeper, shall we?
all black ppl being criminals: I find it interesting that the ppl that perpetuated this sentiment are the same ones who took "us" from Africa and brought us to the Americas to be enslaved. It's like the pot calling the kettle black.
Of course, the history of criminal behavior of black Americans is rooted in mistreatment and survival instincts. If someone's keeping you from food, etc., what won't you do? To get a little more recent, I think it's interesting that the supporters of this stereotype have no real problem w/racial profiling. It really is a cycle.
What came first? The black criminal or the profiling "justice" system?
:p
Uh...did I get too deep?
I'll be shallow, if that helps. :love
Me thinks this thread is dying a s l o w death. It didn't even last one month. :( :o :D
:hippie
abimommy
03-31-2003, 11:24 PM
we eat black eyed peas on new years too!! :) and greens of course...I just don't know how to cook them very well or I would eat them more often..mine suck big time...
as for the criminal thing..uumm..I don't know..
but I am lazy!!:D but I think that is more a personalty flaw rather than a race related trait...
abi, I think greens are in interesting thing. I have tasted some really awful greens, IMO. But, I'm Southern, so I might have less tolerance for nastiness there. I don't tend to like greens that are just one kind, either. I have to have a mix of two or three to really enjoy it. My momma used to combine collard, turnip, and mustard, and that's what I generally do. Unfortunately, one of those types is usually left out, due to poor selection here. She also used to throw spinach in there sometimes. I haven't tried that, yet.
I just put seasoned salt, pepper, garlic powder (um, I use those 3 seasonings in everything :LOL), butter, and water in mine. I let them simmer for hours. They're scrumptious. :yum
I would like to say that I am in love w/50 cent. :eek Anytime I hear his song "In The Club" or happen across the video, I have to watch. I don't know if it's b/c he says, "I'm into havin' sex, I ain't into makin' love." or what, but I would loooove to see his penis up-close. He is seeeeeeeeexxxxxxyyyyyyyy....
(and it doesn't hurt that he was shot several times and has lived to tell about it. gawd, I need an intervention. I told dh that I thought that to be extremely sexy and he :rolleyes: . he knows that's my type...)
Kylix
04-01-2003, 09:12 AM
:LOL about 50 cent. I love that song too despite vigilant efforts not to.
What came first the black criminal or the profiling "justice" system?
To me the answer is clear. The "profiling" justice system. It seems this country was out to get black ppl before they had a chance to get on their feet. Not to get tooo deep, but when you look at all the things that happened to Black ppl during slavery and directly after, you can see the justice system was never in place for Blacks in this country. It's sad. I don't want to make excuses for some ppl but I think that the general intolerance that is part of America's history has perpetuated many of the problems that people bemoan about today.
I don't even know if I made sense there or not. :)
Kylix
Of course, you're making sense.
I find it difficult to be black in this country, sometimes. (those times when I actually sit and think about my color and all that) I mean, I see black folks working within the realms of a society that wasn't created with them in mind, at all, and I wonder why. It seems to me that if we weren't considered in the building, then we shouldn't be held to the societal pressures. We should be outside the law, as it were.
Um, I'm feeling Revolutionary today. It comes and goes.
It's just very disappointing to me when I see blacks that really do try to live "appropriate" lifestyles, and they're still shunned by the masses. What the heck do these ppl want? We can't wake up white or whatever.
But, then, I see black ppl who'd like to pretend that they aren't black; not part of what's considered the minority in this country. And, then I think Where is your head? Don't you see what's going on with your "people" in this country? And, you're just steadily trying to fit in.
Anyway, sometimes I think we should just form a sovereign state. I think we should have a lot of the same benefits as American tribes. I understand this land wasn't stolen from us... Well, we (in general) just try so hard to fit in, while keeping a sense of originality that it's pathetic, IMO.
Ok...I'm stopping now. :LOL Who knows who's reading this and determining that I'm a threat to America.
About music: I am very disappointed with the state of "R&B" today. "Our music" sucks, in general. There is very little musical ability shown, not to mention talent. I'm am tired of the Cash Money Clique. *sigh*
:LOL I am cracking myself up today.
Mom2AliKat
04-03-2003, 04:34 PM
I just noticed this thread after way too many hours of lurking on this forum. :) Thank God my daughter doesn't mind napping on her Boppy on my lap while I type. LOL
I don't have too much to add to the posts thus far, so I'll just say a bit about myself.
I'm Tia (actually Atiya, but Tia is easier), SAHM to Alicia Kateri who is 5 months old, wife to the ever-patient Bill. :) I'm 27 years old (my b-day was this past Monday, Woo!), live in Jersey and have two overfed cats. Racially, I guess I'm considered Black, but my Dad was Ramapough & Penobscot -- I only found that out about 7 years ago, so I don't really identify with that part of my family. My husband is of Ukrainian and Slovak descent, but hey, who am I foolin', he's white. :D
I admit, I don't have too many Black friends because of how I grew up and just my personality, I guess. I went to school with mostly white folks, married a white man and just happened to encounter mostly around non-black people. I have never been bothered by this, honestly, but lately I feel I'd like to make some female Black friends. Shoot, I just need to make some friends, period. LOL
I recently joined a Mocha Moms chapter in my area and sadly, I'm just not connecting with the other moms as I thought I would. I think it's socioeconomics, though -- being a SAHM is not a luxury thing for me, it's a struggle that my DH & I go through to provide the best care for my daughter. Plus, many of the moms in the group seem to have had careers prior to being a SAHM -- I've never had a "career", just a "job" that I honestly couldn't wait to get out of!
Wow, this got long....Sorry about that! I hope I can keep up with the thread, it's very interesting to meeting other crunchy MOC. :)
burritomama
04-03-2003, 08:27 PM
Burritomama saying hey.
I've fallen in and out lately because between teething baby and work and standing on corners with various peace signs, well, there's not much left of me.
But I'm here - and glad you're here too.
I'll try and catch up soon...
Now back to grading papers :tiptoe
pixiemama
04-03-2003, 11:17 PM
Welcome Burritomama and Tia!
Look, I can't get deep. I just had to leave another set of boards before I got banished over a "Blacks in the military" thread.:rolleyes: So, I'll talk about the shallow things. Stereotypes? What stereotypes aren't there about us?! We're lazy, we steal, like fried chicken and 40s, etc, etc, etc. OMG, you know what movie was so lame and full of bad stereotypes? I'm ashamed to admit this but... We watched Undercover Brother on pay per view, don't hate me ya'll! :LOL We also got the Martin Lawrence comedy special. Look, we were bored ok?! I'll give Martin credit, he did a bit on breastfeeding, talking about how you get no breasts for at least a year when your wife is nursing. You know I was happy he was promoting it to the masses! :LOL
As far as music, nothing is really appealing to me nowadays, I have to admit, I like Little Kim's latest, and let's just say that she earns her Parental Advisory sticker on her album.
:eek DS still loves to sing "you can find me in the club, mumble, mumble, mumble, my show, my flow, mumble, mumble, mumble. Then he hums the beat. It's pretty funny! Oh, another stereotype, we're musical/good dancers. Must be true b/c I don't know who taught DS to clap on beat! :LOL
Tia, I've heard of some Mocha Moms chapters being basically like a social club for Jack and Jill mommies. I would probably be way out of place at a meeting!
Mom2AliKat
04-04-2003, 03:39 AM
Originally posted by CkFromBk
Tia, I've heard of some Mocha Moms chapters being basically like a social club for Jack and Jill mommies. I would probably be way out of place at a meeting!
Hey, thanks for the welcome! :D
I think the thing with my Mocha Moms chapter is the area where they live. I'm so ridiculously middle class, it's a shame, but these are very clearly upper middle class folks who wear it loud and proud. LOL I have to admit, in person, I don't talk very much, so maybe that's the real reason why I'm not feelin' the love there, but they just seem so clique-y and....dare I say....bourgeous. I just don't get it when I hear about folks having baby nurses and hiring housekeepers. :scratch
To keep this on topic, something you said, Ck, made me think of a stereotype that bugs the crap outta me. Why, oh why, does the whole world think that all Black folks can dance????? And then why are they all surprised when some of us don't want to go out and dance??? I was once at a wedding where I was asked why I wasn't dancing because "all Black folks like to dance, right?" You could've picked me up off the floor for how surprised that this woman dared to ask something like that! I told her not all of "us" like to dance, and she came back at me with more....."well, my good friend is Black and I'm just surprised, her son is ALWAYS dancing". :jaw
FWIW, I don't know how to dance AT ALL. My dancing skills mimic Elaine's from Seinfeld. :banana Heheheh....
:w Burritomama and Tia!
Tia, I think what you've experienced goes back to the whole assimilation hangup many of us have. Sorry Mocha Moms has not worked out for you. I used to post a little on the website's message board, but that wasn't for me, so I know an actual group wouldn't be. :D
I used to belong to Mom's Club and it was a similar thing. It mostly seemed to be abt economic advantage, and since we are pizz-oor, I didn't "fit in." I remember when I decided I wouldn't renew my membership, everyone I discussed it w/was like, "why?" I said I didn't feel it was an inclusive group, and so many women said," Neither did I the first year. The second year is so much better!" I was dumbfounded. Exactly how much time did these ppl think I had to waste on them? :LOL So, I dropped the group, but I see more of them now, while out-and-about, than I ever did at meetings and such. And, they speak! Which is something else they didn't use to do. :rolleyes:
I was the only black person in that club, tho, so I'm sure it wasn't the same kind of pressure. It's funny how peer pressure can still affect one as an adult. :(
And, sorry you can't dance, Tia. That probably really hampers your life-style, huh? :LOL That woman at the wedding...:shake
But, she did have a "connection" in the "black world", so it's ok.
:rolleyes:
:LOL
Mom2AliKat
04-04-2003, 07:57 AM
Originally posted by Chaka Falls
And, sorry you can't dance, Tia. That probably really hampers your life-style, huh? [/B]
Well, it didn't help that at our wedding my DH & I looked like two junior high kids at their first dance. LOL Otherwise, dancing has never appealed to me, and I've never needed that "skill". I've never been to a club or out dancing, either. Funny, huh?
On a completely different note, I'm curious..... Do any of you mamas cloth diaper? I've met 2 CDing Black moms this past week and was just like, WOW! Most of my family doesn't really know I CD, but the ones who do think it's just another quirky thing I do. My brother was especially skeeved at my cloth wipes. Hehehehe....
pixiemama
04-04-2003, 08:09 AM
TIA, I use cloth, I do, I do. I'm slightly addicted to cute diapers. OK, fully addicted. My mom thinks it's great b/c she cloth diapered my brother and I, and even my MIL changed the baby's diaper (an AIO). Some people might think I'm eccentric, but no one has said anything. Counting you, I now know 4 other aa moms who CD on the web! Oh shucks, I think that's enough to found a "Not a Mocha Mom" club, lol. We could call it, "Black and crunchy", or not. :LOL I hear you all on the clubs thing. I went a Mothers and More meeting and it was full of former career women kinda just waiting until their kids were in school, so they could go back to work. I was surprised to see another brown face there, but I still wasn't feeling it, so I never went back.
I was once at a wedding where I was asked why I wasn't dancing because "all Black folks like to dance, right?" You mean we can't all dance? :confused: :rolleyes:
:banana <~~~ Is he moving on the 1 and 3, or on the 1 and 2? :LOL
We CD and do disposables. Mainly use disposables when we're going to be out all day (just an ease issue for me) and at night. I really dislike having to wash dipes, so E's mostly naked all day.
I'd rather clean the poo and pee off the floor, than stain my dipes. I have stains in some, and I'm gettin over it slowly. :o
Kylix
04-04-2003, 11:48 AM
Why, oh why, does the whole world think that all Black folks can dance????? And then why are they all surprised when some of us don't want to go out and dance??? I was once at a wedding where I was asked why I wasn't dancing because "all Black folks like to dance, right?"
Mom2AliKat--I can't dance either. And the only places I've felt comfortable dancing are in dark smokey clubs where either no one can see me or are too drunk to care or in my own house :LOL.
Kylix
burritomama
04-04-2003, 11:55 AM
We use cloth dipes but through a service -- mostly because we live in a trailer park (!) with only five washers and dryers (at a dollar a pop) for over three hundred trailers and mobile homes...you do the math. I thought about doing my own and using the clotheslines when possible -and it often is here in So Cal but we finally gave in and signed up with the service. As it is, we must lug the diaper sack to a friends' house in nearby city becasue the service doesn't serve our area...it's not too bad because their house is near by workplace...so...you get the picture. Friends and family were pretty generous in giving us credit with the service as baby gifts and it's all worked out. Many of them thought we were freaks though.
I do most of my dancing these days in the kitchen while I cook.
My week's highlight or downlight (to coin a new phrase)? (Maybe this could be a regular feature of the forum - The week's highlight or downlight.)
Well, I signed up my 11 month old and me for a music and movement class at the local rec center - I was skeptical but it came highly recommended by a friend of DH and so, well, why not? An afternoon a week and DH and I could alternate and hey. Soemthing called: Music Together.
Anyway, all was well and the babe liked it and the music wasn't too bad and the only wierd moment came when I realized that some of the other mommas thought I was his nanny (!).
Of course, the other nanny there knew I wasn't a nanny right off...but that another story, hey.
I am a dark skinned Latina and DH is a German-Polish-Yugoslav mix and the babe is a strawberry blond with big brown eyes and skin the color of a bright penny. And I guess where we live - coastal affluent Orange County California that means that I could be his nanny.
I am glad that our gene pool has more imagination than some of these people here.
Back to grading papers
:book
Mom2AliKat
04-05-2003, 03:56 AM
...I'm going to try to respond to everything in one post! So much to say! LOL
Dee, that's pretty cool that you were a dancer -- and for the Alvin Ailey dance theatre! :thumb How did you end up taking a different path in life, if you don't mind me asking?
Burritomama, the music class sounds really interesting! What types of things did you do/sing? (Also, I notice you grade a lot of papers, LOL.... what grade level do you teach?) I'm interested in doing something like that with Alicia, but everything I've checked out is out of my price range. And I've had a similar feeling/experience about others thinking I'm the nanny. We were out in the city (NYC) this past Monday, and all the Black women we saw with babies were nannies, 'cept for me. Well, unless they had reeeeally white looking babies. :)
A huge yayayayayay for all the CDing mamas! But not for nothing, I should've expected it here on a Mothering.com forum. :D Honestly, I've only been CDing for a little over a month, but I am ADDICTED. Right now, I'm waiting for 12 dipes to get here....and you *know* I'm watching my mailmail like a hawk. I've even been giving him "incentives" for being such a good sport with dealing with all my packages. Who's your favs in terms of CDing? If you use a service, do you get to pick what types you use -- ie. AIOs, PFs w/covers?
Sorry so long, I'm just so thrilled to have adult conversation with someone other than DH and MIL. :)
pixiemama
04-05-2003, 08:13 AM
Tia, that's where I studied, I stopped dancing when I was about 16. I wanted to have a life. :rolleyes: :LOL Anyway, where in Jersey are you, if you don't mind me asking. I seem to meet a lot of aa mamas from Jersey online. My good friend lives in Plainfield. I'll be in NYC in a few weeks, maybe to visit, or maybe to live for a few months. What dipes are you waiting for? I've been getting some Luke's Drawers Candy Wrappers lately, I have finally decided on a system. Just hope I can stick to it! :D I have at least one of each popular diaper and had over 50 diapers per kid at one point. :eek
Chaka, I was looking through the referrals to my journal page, and one of the links came from that board I was talking about. It was the roll call thread, and guess who I noticed there? :LOL You are everywhere. I guess I am, too. Hehe. I just stay my brown self over here now, b/c I don't like drama or feeling that I am letting folks get to me. :rolleyes:
Burritomama, how excellent that you put all that work into CDing. Most people would just say, forget it. While I want to say I can't believe most people thought you were his nanny, sadly, I could see that happening. Well at least you've broadened their horizons a bit.
Dee...:LOL I know! I am everywhere!
Actually, I find that particular board too cliquey and intolerant. They are too serious, too, I think. I had one babe try to jump all over what I said simply b/c she thought that having older kids than me made her opinion worth more than mine. :rolleyes: I set her straight, then moved on. Who's got the energy for that?
I resist buying so many CDs. Dee, you are amazing! 50 per kid?! Really, I just have a bunch of CPFs and a handful of MEs Popollino (or whatever they're called). And, some covers. I think of buying samplers of each. If I am indeed pregnant (like we think), I will start stockpiling. I would like the next babe to be completely CDed from the beginning.
CDs are soooo cute and tempting. I have a hundred or so websites on my Favorites. I've been waiting for an excuse to start buying...:sinister
pixiemama
04-05-2003, 01:12 PM
Originally posted by Chaka Falls
Actually, I find that particular board too cliquey and intolerant. They are too serious, too, I think. I had one babe try to jump all over what I said simply b/c she thought that having older kids than me made her opinion worth more than mine. :rolleyes: I set her straight, then moved on. Who's got the energy for that?
That, and other messages have caused me to leave that particular set of boards. I didn't let that thread run me away :rolleyes: I just don't need the aggravation. I don't like that mama either! :LOL We were on another set of boards together, and she never seemed that confrontational. :scratch
I resist buying so many CDs. Dee, you are amazing! 50 per kid?! Really, I just have a bunch of CPFs and a handful of MEs Popollino (or whatever they're called). And, some covers. I think of buying samplers of each. If I am indeed pregnant (like we think), I will start stockpiling. I would like the next babe to be completely CDed from the beginning.
CDs are soooo cute and tempting. I have a hundred or so websites on my Favorites. I've been waiting for an excuse to start buying...:sinister [/B]
Keep us updated on the pregnancy! How fun will it be to shop for newborn diapers?!
I added your pics to my Favorites, too! :LOL
Your kids are soooo cute! I like to see dipes modeled...it helps me determine a lot of things. My kids tend to be huge in the thighs (like their mama), so seeing the dipes modeled is good for me. Thanks!
You really like those Sugarpeas, huh? You have some really pretty dipes/covers.
burritomama
04-05-2003, 01:57 PM
What kind of covers do you all use? I just went for the ones offerred by the service -- classic prowraps but I'm thinking of branching out...especially for overnight.
CKfromBk, I didn't mean to leave the impression that most of the mamas thought I was DS's nany - just two. It's happened before to me and a friends of mine -- a Mexicana married to a white South African who has a blond son. I think I'm getting sensitive about it -- which isn't good, I know. Makes me growl rather than laugh -- and you know, I'd rather laugh.
Mom2AliKat, I'm one of the dreaded English profs at the local community college - lots of papers to grade. Too many. But a nice gig. I work at 75% time since I've had the babe and go back up to 100% (somehow) next fall.
Gotta go. Babe is yelping.
Burrito
Mom2AliKat
04-06-2003, 05:07 AM
Dee, I am :bow to you at how many dipes you have! And the pics of your kids are so nice! They are beautiful -- your children....and the dipes, too. :D If ever you need to minimize your diaper stash, I'm here to take 'em off your hands.
You're giving me incentive to take pics of Alicia in her dipes! Can you guys help me out with how to add a picture here?
I'm in Northern NJ, sorta. :) I'm in the Linden/Rahway/Roselle area. I used to live out in Plainfield, and some of my family lives out there. And I forgot to mention earlier that I knew of someone who was with the Ailey theatre around your age..... I'll PM you the name of the girl. I don't want to put her name out there like that!
Chaka, congrats to you on your pregnancy.....I hope it's uneventful for you.
Can I share my oh-so-boring news to you guys? I had my hair chopped off yesterday. It's been shoulder length for yeeeears, but it got really damaged from me not taking care of it while I was pregnant & postpartum. So off it came! I'm a little sad that I didn't get really bold and go natural (yes, I'm a crunchy, Black sellout, Hee!) and I'm scared that I won't be able to take care of this 'do. That's what hats are for, right? :)
::::::::off to get myself ready for the day::::::::
Mom2AliKat
04-06-2003, 05:16 AM
Sorry for the double post.... (on another board I frequent, they frown on double posting :rolleyes: )
I wanted to post my lowly diaper stash... I'm so excited that I got a few diaper packages in the mail yesterday!
I've got a small sampling.... Granny's Ark (my favs right now), Happy Heinys, FBs, Proraps, Mommymade, Little Lambs, Chumbas, Bumkins, Kushies. I've got some duds from Babyluv.net and some unknown WAHM dipes.
C'mon, Chaka...buy some dipes! You have a fabulous excuse to do so! :D
abimommy
04-06-2003, 05:36 AM
We don't really care if people double post...no big deal IMO.
nope, we don't care abt double posting.
and, *whew*, I'm not pregnant. My cycle is just a week or so off. That happens when you're nursing, I guess.
So, I'll hold off on buying more diapers, thank you. :p
Besides, it's the girl ones I like. They're sooooo pretty! I love to dress up little girls, anyway. Y'all should have seen my dd when she was a little baby. She wore bonnets and everything! I still have them...just in case. ;)
Mom2Alikat, you know you wanna go natural! :LOL Just do it....don't be scurred.
I did that, too, tho when my dd was born and my hair looked pretty damaged from pregnancy and stuff. First, I chopped it to chin-length. Then, to my earlobes. Then, to 3 inches long. I kept it like that for a while....even had my Sam's Club pic taken. But, it took more time to do it at that length, so what was the point? Then, I told my dh to just shave it all off. He didn't want to. But, it was freeing.
Now, I'm back to growing it out. It's still a TWA, but it's long enough to tie a scarf around my head or something. I don't do that, yet, but who knows. I like to just pick it out and go abt my bizness. With my hoop earrings. Grrrrrrl, I look good, don'tcha know? :D
Anyhoo... to post pics, you can just post the url for the site they're on. www-dot-address-dot-com. Then we can see whatcha got!
:love
pixiemama
04-06-2003, 01:13 PM
Aw man, no newborn diapers. :crying Oh well, maybe next month, lol. Anyway, I'm about to update my sig pic so ya'll can see my latest fro. DH hates my hair like this, but I love it! I just want to put a pick in it and go around telling folks "solid", :LOL Tia, join us with the naturals! You know you want to! You've got some great dipes there! How do you like your Little Lambs?
Who asked about covers over CPFs? I like Bumkins wraps best! Thanks for the compliments on the kids. :D I think they're the cutest in the world, of course. :love
Mom2AliKat
04-06-2003, 05:10 PM
Just got from a family outing that was better than expected. Yay! :) Glad to be home so I can have more of my addiction, er...hobby -- the internet. :)
I tried to polish up my picturetrail pics.... Here are recent pics of Alicia http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=1922728&uid=806100
If you want to see me, pre-chopped off hair, here goes.... enter at your own risk! Bill & Tia (http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=1922780&uid=806100)
I am *way* too scurred to go natural... Admittedly, I still have "Black folk hair issues". Y'know how that is....when you feel you "need" a touch up, when you really like those first few days when your hair is all "done". :bolt My brother has dreds, so I *may* go that route someday.
Chaka, even though you can't buy newborn ones, you can still buy some dipes! Kindly have them shipped to Tia Y'sky, New Jersey. :) BTW, I second the Bumkins covers over PFs -- fantastic fit.
Recommendations for a cover over Kissaluvs?
Mom2AliKat
04-06-2003, 05:23 PM
Ok, I'm not sure whether this is violating any rules here, but I thought this was a good deal to drop hints to the hubby/SO.
It's a gift basket with her products, which aren't too bad. I have her Chamomile Apple soap and her Rash Magic cream....they are pretty nice. :)
Click on the link "For Mom" to see the basket. Jack's Magic Beanstalk (http://jacksmagicbeanstalk.wahmart.com/store/)
FWIW, I don't get anything for posting this.... I've ordered from her a few times and she has FAST shipping and always includes a freebie of some sort.
Momof3Girlz
04-06-2003, 10:36 PM
Hello!
My name is Nadine. I'm a 26 year old SAHM of 3 girlz (duh). I had NO IDEA that the MOC were posting in their very own thread. Too cool. I 've read pretty much every post here in this thread and I love what I see! My stomach had butterflies from the excitement as I read about what's it's like being a black mom, and hair,and music and our men etc...
I nearly peed my pant when I read someone's post about 50's penis,
because I feel the same way... .
I (moreso than DH) practice attachment parenting with my children. I had natural, midwife assited, drug-free births with my last two children, breastfeed and EN. I'm never without my sling either. I do practice some forms of Natural parenting including eating a whole foods diet (trying to go veg.), herbs, etc...Really just trying everyday to move towards a simpler more conscious lifestyle. We also cloth diaper (big, BIG, addiction there).
I was born and raised here in Canada, but my mom is Trinidadian, and my father is Jamaican. My hubby is Jamaican as well. I've been to Jamaica quite a few times and love it!
Okay, a note about the hair thing: How do you mamas who have gone natural do it??? I just can't do it! I can barely handle my 6 year old's hair. Its' getting so tempting to texturize it. My hair has been relaxed since the age of 8. Isn't that ridiculous? 18 years straight (with no breaks) of relaxer??? I need to stop the madness but, don't know how to wean myself off the perm. My DH LOVE long, STRAIGHT sexxy hair. I don't think he could deal with a fro. He nearly flipped his lid when I chopped it off Halle Berry style 2 years ago. Now it's long again, and he loves it. :eek
Anyway, I'll stop with the novellet here and give someone else a chance :D
Nice to meet y'all.
Cool... a MOC forum (well, almost a forum...):thumb :love :hippie
pixiemama
04-07-2003, 09:39 AM
Cute pics Tia! Your dd is adorable! As for covers over kissaluvs, my favorite is a fleece cover by bella bottoms, but I don't think she's making them anymore! :( Now, onto the black woman hair issues, :LOL DH would love for my hair to be long, relaxed, and jet black, like I use to wear or weave it. :shake However, I hated the maintenance that was involved! Plus, my head was always itching or burning from the relaxer, I will never have one again. Every time I think about it, my head hurts, hehe. I want to instill in my kids that yes, you can have "kinky" hair :rolleyes: and still be beautiful. KWIM? I don't want them to think that their hair is a problem that needs to be fixed by straightening. :nono I had beautiful natural hair, until my mom and hairdresser aunt decided that 7 was a good age for a perm. :crying My hair just got shorter and shorter as time passed. I'm not saying that you can't have healthy relaxed hair, but my hair is prone to breakage. In fact, I have one patch that I think will never grow back b/c it was so destroyed by relaxing over the years. Luckily, I'm not really attached to long hair, so I cut it quite a few times as a teenager, and still have no problem cutting it now. If you (and Nadine, hey girl!), are interested in finding about how to make the transition, I suggest you visit this site. (http://www.nappturality.com)
Um, that didn't sound preachy or anything, did it? If so, that was not my intention.
pixiemama
04-07-2003, 09:41 AM
BTW, Nadine, I didn't know you were a 1/2 and 1/2 Island girl! :LOL My mom is St.Lucian and my dad is from Martinique. I'm a first generation Brooklynite. :D
Mom2AliKat
04-07-2003, 01:23 PM
Thanks for the compliment about Alicia. We think she's cute, too. :)
Um, that didn't sound preachy or anything, did it? If so, that was not my intention.
Not at all, IMO! I got your point, exactly. I just wish I were at that stage..... I still have long hair issues (I want my hair back, waaaaaaah) and DH loved my hair when it was longer. But my hair was also prone to damage when it was relaxed and wasn't able to be repaired AT ALL when I got it cut on Saturday. I'm not so sure it's gonna be easier to take care of now that it's shorter. :(
:::::making a confession::::::
I'm secretly hoping that my daughter's hair texture doesn't change too much. I'm not a hair person and don't know what I'm going to do with a head full of hair that's similar in texture to mine. I know, I know, it's very sad for me to think that way. :(
I'm really, truly in awe of you natural haired mamas. I'm such a sellout chicken. (NOT a chickenhead, though :D )
burritomama
04-07-2003, 03:16 PM
Home sick from work today so I am taking some time to click and catch up here -- especially with everyone's photos. I myself have no idea how one gets photos on to the web (I am pretty stupid when it comes to all things internet---how does one get photos on a site? do they have to be digital?) but thanks for sharing yours...
Mom2AliKat: she's SOOO cute. Thanks for sharing your wedding pics too.
CkFromBk: thanks for all the pics of your sweet babes in their dipes. I'm jealous -- the diaper service stuff is serviceable but not stylish...perhaps I should begin to branch out with covers and go beyond the plain white prowraps...maybe I'll spurlge on some samples and see what's what. Baby's got his first birthday coming up after all - 4/28.
more later -- burrito
Momof3Girlz
04-07-2003, 04:27 PM
I frequent this board (http://www.longhaircareforum.com)
I am OBSESSED with long hair! So, so sad!
pixiemama
04-07-2003, 07:30 PM
Burrito, of course baby boy needs some new covers for his bday, what baby doesn't? I love our new icon! :diaper As far as getting photos on the internet, they don't have to be digital, they can just be photos that you have scanned on the pc. Lots of people get photo discs when they get film developed, so that could be an option. I love picturetrail b/c it's easy to use, and keeps photos organized.
Tia, a friend of mine told me "If you are not ready to commit all the way to natural hair, don't do it, b/c you will end up perming it again." :nod I have found this to be true b/c I did it myself! :LOL
NOT a chickenhead, though :LOL We believe you, hehe. As far as texture, you just have to learn a regimen to keep her hair soft. I don't think DD's hair will be as "kinky" as mine is, but I have already started a regimen which keeps her hair easy to comb through. It gets very dry when she sleeps at night and the key for us is to keep it moisturized and comb it gently every day. I gave her cornrows a few weeks ago, man, I am never doing that on a small child again, lol. Her head was turning in every direction! So, from now on, she gets a headband, twists, or some afropuffs, :LOL.
DH and I are renewing our vows in Oct 04, and I'm helping my GF plan her own wedding next year, so I haven't been hanging around the boards as much as I'd like to. Plus, my pretty, brown girl(dd) is getting her first toof in and trying to belly crawl everywhere. It's so exciting to watch her grow! :)
Momof3Girlz
04-07-2003, 07:48 PM
Dee:
I'm so encouraged to hear of your committment to keeping your dd's hair natural. I feel so bad that I never had a say in it when I was a kid. Actually, I remember being very excited about getting a perm b/c I felt so big.
My sister has already permed her DDs hair (4 years old). :(
I am finding that I've been having to find info on natural hair in order to learn how to care for my dd's hair. My daughter has very "good" hair due to our cultural mixing, but she has definitely inherited my thickness and add to that a very sensitive scalp. She often cries when I'm doing it in the morning for school. Anyway, I'm very committed to keeping her hair natural, however, for myself, I'm just not there yet.
Can I ask you and others who have gone au naturel, what was the deciding factor(s) that helped to not turn back to going to relaxers?
*edited to make it a little less disjointed, lol*
pixiemama
04-07-2003, 08:00 PM
A 4 y/o?! :eek Wow. For me, like I said above, there were a few factors. I was tired of the breakage, the endless time at the salon, the burning, itching, etc. Why should I have to go through all that? Now, I wash, condition, pick and go! Simple! I don't have to worry about bad weather, being in a convertible car :LOL or anything else like that. Plus, I feel like natural hair is just another part of my natural/ap lifestyle.
If your dd is tenderheaded, I would definitely keep it really moisturized, and style with a large tooth comb when wet. Style like cornrows can last up to a week, so you would minimize the amount of time you have to spend in her hair. I hear you on the crying. DS cries to have his hair combed if I try to come it when it's dry. :( I am actually thinking of cutting his down though b/c he sweats sooo much and I think his hair might be making him hot! He currently has a fluffy fro, lol.
Bladestar5
04-07-2003, 08:16 PM
White girl lurking here:blush Dee, I love your hair!! You look great like that, of course, you look great no matter what:thumb
FroNuff
04-07-2003, 08:48 PM
DH and I are renewing our vows in Oct 04, and I'm helping my GF plan her own wedding next year, so I haven't been hanging around the boards as much as I'd like to. Plus, my pretty, brown girl(dd) is getting her first toof in and trying to belly crawl everywhere. It's so exciting to watch her grow! :) [/B]
Oh wow, that's exciting stuff going on! Congrats to you and DH, and also to your friend! :) And that's cool about the toofus. I hope she's pretty content with the tooth coming in..... I'm dying for Alicia to get this damn tooth already! It's like she's been teething since birth! :rolleyes:
Committing to my natural took a while. I think I've relaxed it twice since cutting my hair off. My dh prefers it long or really short. But, I stopped worrying about how he likes my hair a long time ago. I mean, I have to be me, right?
I don't know abt the advice abt if you're not completely ready, don't do it. Sometimes, in life, we take two steps back for every step forward, but we keep moving forward, in the end. It's daunting to have short, natural hair in this society...esp. if you don't live anywhere there are others doing the same thing. There is an overabundance of relaxed and weaved hair in my town. But, I generally sport my fro proudly. And, it sho'll hasn't kept the mens off me. :rolleyes: :p
As far as children and relaxers, I'm really opposed to that. My dd and I used to go at it when it came to doing her hair, so often she walked around looking like a dirty q-tip. She is very, very tenderheaded. So much so, that if I leave beads on her braids for too long, her scalp starts to flake in patches. It's weird. I try to keep her scalp as moisturized as possible, but it still happens. :confused: She's getting used to the washing every 2 weeks. It was weird to watch her hair texture change. It got coarser slowly. But, it's still beautiful!:D
You know what made me really freak out abt relaxing my hair? My dh and I used to watch these tapes of this weird black militant guy. He once said that when women who have been relaxing their hair die and you cut into their scalps, their brains are covering with green chemical goo. :eek I still get that visual whenever I think abt relaxing my hair (yeah, I still fight the urge...my hair was beautiful, dangit! I liked it that way, too!).
But, generally, I'm very happy with my hair. I just don't like it this short. When it's all grown out, I know I will be much happier, I just have to remain patient. I also consider my hair an extension of my more natural lifestyle. I'm evolving...:hippie
And, :w Momto3girlz!
pixiemama
04-07-2003, 11:03 PM
Committing to my natural took a while. I think I've relaxed it twice since cutting my hair off. My dh prefers it long or really short. But, I stopped worrying about how he likes my hair a long time ago. I mean, I have to be me, right?
:nod DH hates my fro. He wishes I would do something with it, read: relax it. :shake Oh well!
And, it sho'll hasn't kept the mens off me. :LOL
I live in TX, you should see the looks I get from all the horse haired broads over here. Amazing. I mean, I don't hate on your tricolored fingerwaves, don't hate on my fro! :hippie
LMAO at the q-tip comment. Doesn't your dd have eczema? I think I read that on the "other" board. Anyway, have you considered taking her to a dermatologist or trying the no poo method? That's wear you use clarifying conditioners or natural products like baking soda and lemon juice to wash, and follow with deep conditioning. At least, I think that's what it is. I have a great link, I'll post it tommorrow.
their brains are covering with green chemical goo :eek :eek Ew, thanks for the visual...not!
Tia, Sanaa's tooth has been coming in for about 2 weeks now. It just peeks at me every day and :wave :rolleyes: It'll come in, eventually.
Autumn, thanks! :blush
FroNuff
04-08-2003, 04:44 AM
Originally posted by CkFromBk
[B]:nod DH hates my fro. He wishes I would do something with it, read: relax it. :shake Oh well!
:LOL
Your fro is so cool! And it's so cute! :D I'm in awe, seriously, because I just could *not* do it, and I *know* that it would be so much easier. :(
And Dee, your kids are so beautiful! I'm not sure if I said it before, but it would bare repeating. :) I've seen your daughter's name before, but I'm clueless how to pronounce it. san-AY? san-AH? Sorry if I'm messin' this up!
pixiemama
04-08-2003, 10:57 AM
Thanks! I can never hear enough times how cute my kids are. :D Especially when they're being little monsters, hehe.
Momof3Girlz
04-08-2003, 11:14 AM
Just thought I'd hijack the thread with some photos of my children, lol..
Ashleigh and Madison (http://C:\Documents and Settings\Rohan\My Documents\Family Photos\ashandmaddibathtime.JPG)
Olivia (http://Olivia2)
pixiemama
04-08-2003, 12:36 PM
Um, Nadine, you forgot to upload them! :LOL You can use yahoo, picturetrail, or seesmilie.com to upload the pics! :)
Momof3Girlz
04-08-2003, 02:31 PM
doh! I'm so, not internet savvy...anwho...
Go here (http://ca.photos.yahoo.com/nsmith24ca) if interested, lol
Thanks Dee, I admit I'm a goof, lol
burritomama
04-08-2003, 02:49 PM
Momof3Girlz,
What a cutie! I love the look on her face. I'm sorry you ducked out of the photo tho...
pixiemama
04-08-2003, 02:55 PM
Mkay, I was just talking to my little brother who goes to a predominantly white college. The percentage of aa people at the school is about 8%. Today, there was a pro-life rally. He told me that they had horrible, crude images of fetuses and as comparison, they had pictures of blacks being lynched, and Jews who were killed during the Holocaust. WTF?! He was furious and called the school's President (I think), who wasn't taking calls. I told him to start a letter writing campaign saying that he didn't want those types of comparisons being made at his school. He said the sad thing was, that he was there with only 3 other poc to talk to those at the rally. Nobody else gaf. How sad is that?! :(
Kylix
04-08-2003, 03:34 PM
I feel like I'm behind on the subject....this thread moves fast!
How I decided to finally go natural-- It was a long gradual process which in the end led to me to see that my hair wasn't something that needed to be 'fixed'. It was fine the way that God made it. It angers me now that Black ppl are supposed to change their hair to look more like white ppl's. I mean what's up with everyone supposed to be having long fine hair?? I love my cropped thick curly natural do :D
I do have relapses when I see a sista with gorgeous relaxed hair but then I think about how bad that is for my hair and I know that my hair is healthier now and dammit, I LOVE the way it looks now (well..most of the time, everyone has bad hair days).
Perms on little girls-- I used to work in my old church's nursery and there was a little girl in there...couldn't have been more than five whose hair was clearly relaxed. I thought it looked weird on her. It didn't look natural on a little girl that young. I'm also committed to keep my future dds hair natural and I'm going to try to enstill a love for natural Black hair in her/them. Oh, I hope I have a dd so that I can raise a strong black crunchy woman. :LOL
I actually have never had a perm. I have what ppl call "good hair" but I used to take a hot comb to it about once a week maybe more. My ends were so broken and my hair so dry and crackled. When I think about all the damage I did to it just so that it would look 'more white', I think it is sad.
I'm loving all the pics here! Dee, I love your 'fro'. It's gorgeous and looks so healthy.
Chaka-I can't believe that about the green goo! GROSS!
MomtoAliKat- I loved the pics. I wish I had the courage (and the computer literacy) to post one of mine. I have a thing about posting personal pics on the web.
Momto3girlz--your daughter is precious. I love that dress on her. How old is she in that pic? I love BIG babies :)
Burritomama-- I hope your son has a good bday!
Kylix
Momof3Girlz
04-08-2003, 03:48 PM
Dee: OMG!!! I can't beleive that! How disgusting! I'm pro-life and all but, that comparison is crude and in EXTREMELY poor taste. I agree that your bro needs to do something to call attention to this groups methods of promoting their cause. That's just unreal :shaking head:
Kylix: DD was about 6 months in that pic. She's very "solid" lol, if you think that's big, my older dd was even bigger than her...very, very fat and cute :love
Also there's 2 albums with pics of all the girls, check em out!
pixiemama
04-08-2003, 04:16 PM
Um, Nadine, I only see the one picture with you duckin! Where are the others? We want to see! :bigeyes
Kylix- I'm :LOL at you wanting to raise a "stong, crunchy, black woman" hehe, go head girl! I feel you on the not posting pics thing. Sometimes I get really paranoid, and other times I feel like, if there's some weirdo out there stalking me and my kids, let them come get me, b/c I like to kick ass, hehe. Can you say ass on MDC?
:scratch
Diaper ladies. I need help. I want to sell some of my stash off to buy more Candy Wrappers, but I just can't do it. I'm such a :hyena...*sigh*
burritomama
04-08-2003, 04:25 PM
I'm sure that I've said a** and other things simply as a result of my poor typing skills...
:LOL
Y'all are cracking me up!
If you can't say ass here, I'm in trouble...
I have nothing more to say.
I'm going to look at pics now...
Momof3Girlz
04-08-2003, 07:31 PM
Oh, okay...I fixed it. I had it marked private...I think y'all should be able to view it. You can click the link in my previous post above. Thanks!
Nadine.
Kylix
04-09-2003, 11:01 AM
Nadine--I still can't see them. An error page comes up that says "Can't find website" or something like that. :confused:
Kylix
pixiemama
04-09-2003, 05:24 PM
I saw em! I looked yesterday. Your girls are too cute Nadine. :) I'm not having a good day. I'm feeling extremely dowdy and frumpy. What happened to me? I used to be so...cute! :LOL My birthday is approaching, and I feel the need for a makeover. :confused:
:hug Dee
I'm feeling excited today. I'm making major life changes, girls!
Woo hoo! :bouncy
Kylix
04-09-2003, 06:18 PM
Dee-You should totally splurge on a makeover for yourself for your birthday! Us gals sometimes just need to pretend to be princesses and pamper ourselves!
I'm feeling especially ugly right now because AF is here. Monday (the first day of my flow) I felt hideous and I was out with a friend and was such a bummer. I kept asking "Are you sure my hair looks okay?". I always break out right before I start my period and my horrible complexion continues until AF is over.
So, when I got home Monday I took a long shower, washed my hair, sprayed on some perfume, and put on a cute outfit just for the hell of it. (I sure hope we can say "hell"). And I felt soooo much better. I'm usually content to walk around in jeans and a t-shirt and sloppy hair but sometimes I just need to feel pretty, yk??
Kylix
Kylix
04-09-2003, 06:19 PM
We cross-posted Chaka!
Congrats on your major life changes!! I saw your thread in TAO about going back to school!! Good luck on that! :love :thumb
Kylix :love
pixiemama
04-09-2003, 06:25 PM
I definitely need to feel pretty right now! Where's our :beauty icon? Oh, here it is...:dreads :D
Parthenia
04-09-2003, 06:26 PM
I've been away from the boards for several months, and was sooo happy to see a MOC thread.
I'm a 32 yo AA mom married to a handsome Swede. We have a 3 soon to be 4 yo dd.
So those are my demographics. I'm obviously coming late to this discussion, but wanted to pitch in that I've been natural for almost 6 yrs and have been a growing dreads for 5. I loooove natural hair--the way God created it. Before I grew the locks, I pretty much relaxed my hair off my head. I went from lifeless, straw-like long hair to healthy a healthy buzz cut and never looked back, much to the disdain of my family, who kept saying, but you had such nice hair--even though it stopped growing and I was shedding like a husky in Florida. Go figure.
Here's some photos of dd and me. None of dh yet. He's camera shy. But as you can see, if dd and I share any traits at all (not hair texture or eye color), she certainly got my family's forehead.http://photos.yahoo.com/nurse_parthenia
Now off to look at everyone's pics.:hippie
FroNuff
04-09-2003, 06:42 PM
{{{{{{{Dee, Kylix & all MOCs}}}}}}}
:::::sending out my pretty potion to everyone::::::
Ok, so it's iced tea, sue me. :D
Chaka, your life changes sound great -- I'm going over to read them shortly. :)
And WOW, everyone has such beautiful children! And y'all ain't to shabby yourselves....cough, cough, Momof3girlz hides in her pictures, cough, cough. LOL
I'm sorry, I'm being a bit punchy today. :raz
Kylix
04-09-2003, 07:46 PM
Welcome Parthenia!! I knew I recognized your screenname. It's so nice to put a face to a name. I LOVE your dreads!! I want some now!!! Your dd is simply gorgeous...I love the blue costume on her. :) I used to dress up in costumes like that when I was little. Is that for some type of dance recital??
I'm so glad that more ppl are coming to this thread. I feel so comfy and at ease here. :D
Thanks for the pretty potion, MomtoAliKat!!! Even if it is just iced tea, LOL...
Kylix
Momof3Girlz
04-09-2003, 09:50 PM
Okay, there is a picture of me there...don't laugh okay??? I'm pregnant and my sister-in-law is making me "pose" lol...I'm definitely not ducking in this one
Just click the link above...:rolleyes:
Kylix
04-09-2003, 10:22 PM
Finally saw all your pics!! Nadine--I don't know why you would think we would laugh! You are soooo pretty! I wish I took as good a pictures as you do! And your dds are so cute. I love the bath pic and the one with your dd looking at the camera that says "Mom forgot to fix my hair" or something. Too precious! Of course, your dd might not think so in a few years. You don't know how many pics my mom has in her album of me with hair all over my head. She thinks they are too cute...:rolleyes:
Kylix
pixiemama
04-09-2003, 11:35 PM
Parthenia! :wave Welcome!
Tia, I'll take my pretty potion with lots of sugar, please! :D
Nadine, I always suspected you were beautiful, but now, I really hate you! :angry :LOL J/K...I think ;-)
:w Parthenia!
I love your pics, too!
Momof3girlz, I still can't access that page. :(
Maybe something is wrong w/my server...:confused:
abimommy
04-10-2003, 01:40 AM
Great pics Parthenia!! You and your dd are beautiful!!
momof3girlz, you are so cute! and your dds are adorable!! :D
FroNuff
04-10-2003, 04:35 AM
Momof3girlz, no laughing here, you're beautiful! :)
I'm needing a biiiiiig swig of the pretty potion.... I washed my new 'do last night and I look HORRIBLE. This is clearly a style that needs super attention, curling and messin' with -- definitely NOT what I wanted. :crying Please no one be offended by this statement, but I look very....um, butch with short hair and that just isn't cool AT ALL. Looks like hatsville for me. :)
Tia :hug :hug :hug
Don't believe everything you think. And, so what if you look butch? You know who and what you are, no matter how you are percieved by others. Big up, girlfriend!
:love
Kylix
04-10-2003, 01:36 PM
**Passes the pretty potion to Tia** :hug, Tia
I'm sorry you don't like your new do. It always takes some time to get used to a new style. Do you think that could be it?
Chaka, I saw Nadine's pics by clicking on the second link she put up...that something like "doh, go here" LOL. Try that one.
Kylix
FroNuff
04-10-2003, 03:12 PM
Thanks for the hugs, I have to admit, I need them right now. I'm having a super duper pity party today. :(
I'm going to sound incredibly shallow and disconnected, but here's the thing with my hair....
The older I get, the more resistant my hair becomes and this relaxer didn't "take" so well. I've never had my hair short, either, so I'm not used to the texture of it at this length. Plus, I'm discovering that my head isn't the right shape for hair this short. <sigh> I really trusted this stylist and told her that I wanted something that didn't require bringing out all the curling & flat irons. No dice -- I had to dig out those puppies this morning, and I'm really inept at doing hair.
I thought I could scrunch it up when it was wet -- it looked cute that way, but when my hair started drying, it just looked dry and frizzy. I honestly don't know what to do other than throw a hat on, it's a sad, sad, hot mess. :crying
I'm sorry to go on so long about this.... I don't have any IRL friends who would understand or listen.
Tia! :hug :hug and more :hug
Have you tried wetting it every morning in the shower or something? When my hair was really short, but not natural, wetting it and then putting gel or mousse in it really made it look fly. It was curly and cute. Without all the fuss. (dh called it The Wet Look...it turned him on something fierce)
It takes a while to get used to seeing yourself with, like, NO hair. I can completely relate. But, the more I looked at myself, the more I saw that I still looked exactly the same in the face. And, the more I saw my face, the more I liked it. It was nice not hiding behind a hairstyle and really seeing ME, you know?
You'll get used to it! :hug Don't beat yourself up.
Kylix
04-10-2003, 06:42 PM
Tia, the scrunched up wet look is how I wear my hair now. Try what Chaka said. Rinse it out every morning but leave a little conditioner in it so it won't be so frizzy. Also, use some clear styling gel and if you want you can add some mousse. Also, I'd stop using shampoo if I were you. I don't use shampoo at all on my hair and it looks fab now that I've stopped. Shampoo has sooooo many detergents in it that leaves Black hair very dry and crackled and frizzed. Maybe that's why your hair didn't look so good right after you washed it???
Once you are done fixing it in the morning and you have the way you like it, don't touch it until it dries!!! I swear this is what makes the difference in how my hair looks the rest of the day. If I try to pull it back before it dries, it has a weird shape. If I keep checking it with my hands, it gets frizzy on the top.
Kylix
FroNuff
04-11-2003, 04:04 AM
:grouphug
You ladies are the best. Thanks so much for the hugs & advice. :)
I'm going to have to get some gel & mousse and experiment. I'd love to rock that wet look....it would be so cute.
Anyone have any weekend plans they want to share? :D I'm having an Easter Egg hunt in my tiny house for my cousins. I have MAJOR housecleaning to do!
BTW, what's a :hyena? :mischeif
Hi,
I am a MOC and am glad to see that this group is thriving!
My mom grew up in Mexico and arrived in the U.S. at the age of 21, exactly nine months before I was born. My dad was born in the U.S., but his dad left Mexico to the U.S. as a young boy and here met and married a young Spaniard.
We have a biological dd who is 5 and often we have foster children. Our last one was last fall, a beautiful smart loving half-white half-black baby girl. I miss her so much and want to cry now justing thinking about her.
We practice AP, we cloth diaper, wear baby in sling, extend breastfeeding (my 5 year old still nurses occassioally), co-sleep. We are vegetarian, pacifists, environmentalists, feminists, animal rights activists. Geez, what other labels can I think of?
Hello everybody!
:w Ruth!
Kylix, thanks for the tip on how to see Nadine's pics. Off to try...:bolt
OK, dumb me had clicked that second link before the other pics were added to it. So, now I've seen all the pics (since I stopped trying to use the first links)!
Thanks for posting those, Nadine. You are quite the hottie! :yum
candiland
04-11-2003, 08:43 AM
I just wanted to pop in and say a quick "hello".....:D
Glad to see your forum is thriving!:thumb
Keep up the good work!
pixiemama
04-11-2003, 08:47 AM
Originally posted by Mom2AliKat
BTW, what's a :hyena? :mischeif
Late :grouphug for you! A :hyena is a hyena. :duh It's what we call the major diaper addicts on the diapering board. I forget how the term came about, but someone asked for a hyena icon, and got it.
Welcome Ruth!
Chaka, back off, Nadine is mine. :LOL Wow, I'm usually the one having the ladies fighting over me! :LOL
pixiemama
04-11-2003, 09:07 AM
BTW, we cut N's hair...
...
We, meaning DH. :)
~member~
04-11-2003, 09:19 AM
Hello All!!! Sorry I am so late posting, been so busy!
I am a single mama to a 6 yr old dd and a 6 month old dd. Full time student majoring in biochemistry. Stuck in the middle of nowhere!!:crying
I am Lakota and Anishinaabe, both my dd's are Anishinaabe. English is my third language. I am the linguist in my family, I can communicate in about six languages...maybe seven. I am most fluent in english, tho, as I am here in the U.S. and that is what they all speak lol! I want to learn laotian and chinese, trying to get one of those study abroad classes in laos, I met with the board and they said I could bring my 6 yr old but not the baby, so, maybe next year.:rolleyes:
I have assisted at homebirths for over 20 years. i have been a doula for young mothers for the last 6 yrs.
Right now, I am supposed to be packing and getting ready to drive to the cities because my family says my sister is waiting until I am there before she will have her baby lol! She's been in labor since last friday lol! Not active labor, just the smal contrax ten to fifteen minutes apart and maybe a few 'big' ones throughout the day. My mom keeps teasing me, saying that as soon as i am in the door, the baby will crown and i'll have just enuf time to catch lol!
Looking forward to hearing more from all you beautiful ppl! :love
Kylix
04-11-2003, 01:51 PM
MamaInTheBoonies!!! It's sooooo good to see you here! I've always admired your posts about how your raising your daughters of color :) Unbelievable that they study abroad program won't let you bring your 6 mos old baby, what do they suppose you'll do with her? That's insane :rolleyes: I hope you do get to go next year. That sounds like a great experience.
Welcome Ruth!! You sound alot like me...I'm a vegetarian, a feminist, environmentalist and an animal rights activist too!!
CkfromBk--Your son is quite the ham! I love all your pics, he's always cheesing it up! :D What a cutie!
Tia--I'm having someone over this weekend to stay with me and I have major housecleaning to do too! Ugh!!! She'll be here tomorrow so I should be cleaning now but as usual I'm here on MDC!
Kylix
Sorry if that offends anyone. I am just thrilled to see so many "others" here. I am slowly reading through the posts, but right now I am only on teh first page.
Quick intro yes I am "black, african american, colored" or what ever term some "choose " to use. Three beautiful babes, 5 yr old boy,19 month girl and my new nursling is only four weeks. Dh is currently in Iraq and today is our 6 year wedding anniversary. poor me.
I must say after reading the first page that I too am dismayed at children who can reciate a rap song but can't say their abc's. My family thinks that nursing is "weird" but sees nothing wrong witgh my almost three year old neice still sucking a bottle.
I am dying to find more mothers of color who don't think I'm a nut for doing things the way I do.
Btw anyone know how to edit or change my signurtare?
pixiemama
04-12-2003, 08:58 AM
Hello Jeca, and welcome! My DH is military as well! It's always nice to find other aa, military, ap mamas. I thought I was the only one! :LOL j/k Happy Anniversary!!! :balloons How long has your DH been deployed?
To change your signature, click user cp in the top right hand corner of your screen, then choose edit profile, and go to signature.
Mamaintheboonies! Welcome! :wave
HTH
MamaInTheBoonies and jeca!
:w
burritomama
04-12-2003, 02:04 PM
:w
everybody - Ruth, Parthenia, Mama in the Boonies, Jeca, et al.
Our party grows. Too cool.
Busy week for me though I've been lurking just not had the time to add anything much. Our kitty is sick and we have some sad decision to make about her so...well, you know how that goes.
Thanks for the warm welcome. Dh has been deployed sine april 4th. They told us awhile ago back in februaury that he would be leaving.
He called yesterday for our anniverary. He stood in line for two hours to use the phone, so sweet.
Dh is puertorican , that's close enough to black for him to have been accepted into the family.
BTW I have also been labeled as "talking white" and such. Or being too proper but I let people know up front I don't speak ebonics. I wans't raised in the projetcs and I do not live ghetofaboulus. I met this girl recently who told me I sounded like a little white girl and than went on to say how ghettofaboulus she was. Very annoying.
I am a EN, breastfeeding, co'sleeping,cloth diapering,sling wearing Ap momma and we are in rare breed.
I have been blessed with the "good hair" thing. You know they say black folks have "good hair" or "bad hair" whatever. But I do not need a relaxer my hair is naturally wavy but I do tend to straighten it by wrapping it. If I wash it and let it air dry I get some very pretty spirals but it's too dry in the desert and doesn't last very long.
Since my babies are mixed their hair is no problem. My son just got a hair cut after a very long time and it was worn in the prettiest spirals. Everyone called him a girl so we cut it.
Yes some shows do make me angry but I don't watch alot of TV either. I am a SAHM to three babies under age five who has time for TV.
DD also loves the Wiggles.
That's my catch up from the first page.
Page 2..I'm sure I am missing some things as my mind is not what it use to be.
I use cloth diapers but I admit I use disposables for when we are out and I haven't found any really good ones for night time so most nights I use sposies for bed. I have two in diapers so I must use cloth to balance the budget. Mare came along when I was still nursing Yana so they are only 18 months apart that was not by choice but she's here and I love her.
I would say we are lower middle class. DH makes to much for us to qualify for head start and such but not enough to pay for private schools or anything.I love being a SAHM but I really need to find something to pull us in some income. I am trying to get started writing again hopefully It will work out for me. I will definitly find something to do while he is gone so I can contribute to the nest egg we are trying to save.
I am really glad to have found this thread. People also think I am strange or acting "white" for my parenting styles.
A whole page dedicated to diapers and hair, cool!
I don't have very many differant brands I am using kooshies the most but I am also trying out bumkins. I really need to get some more for my new babe. I also goty kind of addicted and now that we are saving some money for once I know I will have a few extra funds to really stock up.
I hate it when people perm little kids hair. Like I said my children do not have the kind of hair you relax. Their hair is fine and curly or wavy. My mother relaxed my hair when I was in the 8th grade and took it all out. She said it was so I could start doing it on my own and making it straight would make it longer. DIDN"T WORK!
Dh also like my hair long but he like s it worn curly while I prefer to straighten it. I would wear it curly if anyone knows a way to make it look good for more than a few days. After a few days it starts to look dry. Anyone?
I will be buying a digital camera soon, how do I post a picture.?
burritomama
04-12-2003, 04:50 PM
Jeca,
So glad you could hear from your guy on your anniversary - sweet - and a relief too, I'm sure.
I myself have to catch up on all the coversation topics...maybe manana.
I must say I couldn't help but think of all the talk about hair this week when I was teaching the section from Malcolm X's autobiography when he straightens his hair for the first time.
more later...
over and out.
Kylix
04-12-2003, 07:50 PM
Welcome Jeca!!
I see you've been busy reading and posting :D
Dh also like my hair long but he like s it worn curly while I prefer to straighten it. I would wear it curly if anyone knows a way to make it look good for more than a few days. After a few days it starts to look dry. Anyone?
I also wear my hair naturally curly. Do you rinse it out everyday when you wear it curly? This is important. Some days I'm too lazy to rinse it out and it looks u-gly. Also, I've stopped using shampoo and I can't tell you how much better my hair looks. Shampoo dries Black people's hair out. When you rinse it out in the morning, add a little conditioner to it and leave it in. Use a little styling gel to get it to stay and there you go. You can add some hot oil to it too if you want, that helps it to look more hydrated.
Burritomama-- :( I'm so sorry about your kitty. I have a cat of my own. I can't imagine how you feel right now. :hug<