Was your gifted child a difficult baby/toddler?

[minkl]

I am curious about this because DH and I are both gifted, but with very different histories as babies. I was an "easy" baby and DH was a completely nightmare....
Our DS is 19 months and probably gifted too. He has started reading (self-taught,) has a large verbal vocabulary, understands simple math concepts, etc. and he was....a complete and total nightmare of a baby. So high needs, so demanding, so sleepless that we could hardly stay sane. Part of this I realize is due to his genetic tendency to become overstimulated, but even AP parenting couldn't keep him happy...it's hard to sling a two week old baby who doesn't stop crying until you position them upright and facing out so they can see. Things are definitely better as he gets older and my MIL said DH became calmer after 3 1/2....so I have some hope.

So I am looking for any advice from moms who have been there done that...with a SMART difficult baby. I find the advice I get from other moms with average kids just does not seem to apply/work with DS...and they just end up thinking I am incompetant

[LiamnEmma]

yep. He was awful. I used to pace the hallway, wondering to myself why anybody had more than one child. I also consoled myself by reminding myself that I'd read once somewhere (that I could never find a citation for now, please don't ask) that high needs and high intelligence were correlated and that it'd all be okay in the end. He's still tricky, far more difficult than my normally bright dd, but now I have experience! :lol

[lckrause]

Yes. He was my first so I didn't have a clue. I thought all babies were like that and didn't understand why nothing in the baby books made any sense. :lol "In these first weeks your newborn will sleep much of the time, and will not be very interactive." HAHAHA.

[Katana]

Yes. He was my first so I didn't have a clue. I thought all babies were like that and didn't understand why nothing in the baby books made any sense. :lol "In these first weeks your newborn will sleep much of the time, and will not be very interactive." HAHAHA.

:laugh: :laugh:

This was me, too, with ds.

I still remember the midwife, who'd been catching babies for 20 years saying that she had never seen a baby stay awake for six hours after birth. She also said "good luck with this one." :lol

And those first months, when nothing would console him, and I didn't understand that he was screaming because he understood he could get places faster by crawling or walking, but his body wasn't ready yet. :dizzy:

Thank goodness dd1 was so much calmer and more laid back. I remember sobbing when I got the + sign for her, that I just couldn't do it again. I think she must have heard me and taken pity on me. :lol

[eilonwy]

I have to say that Bella (my third) is far and away my most difficult baby, and she's still remarkably easy; for the most part, my kids seem to be able to work their way around their issues.

BeanBean is the world's most extroverted child; he needs people, and he needs to be able to communicate with them, so he learned to speak very early. BooBah was a bit more difficult; a child who walks and climbs but has the sensibilities of an infant (rather than a toddler) will not only garner unwanted attention on the playground, but will get themselves into all sorts of trouble.

Now, at 2.5, BooBah is more difficult than she was before. She's developed a love of fleece pajamas, which is easy to accomodate (most of the time) but difficult to explain in the middle of August. She'd rather wear the pair that fits her best (size 2T, paper tags removed) than anything else; day or night, dirty or clean. I have to go to great lengths just to wash them when they're ready to walk by themselves; sneaking them off, immediately offering her clean ones, etc. BooBah is willing to wear fleece sweapants, but her favorites are the pj's and since they are somewhat "lighter" than the sweats, I prefer them as well (it's still hot here!).

It's a bit odd, but I understand it, I can relate. When things are difficult for them, I understand. :love

[kimbernet]

My siblings and I were all considered gifted as children. My brother, the 3rd child and who tested the highest on IQ tests, was the easiest baby of all 3 of us according to my mom. I was an easy baby too and still am very laid back. My sister, the first child born to my parents, was very high needs and was difficult through her teenage years. She's never been laid back and appears to be a high maintenance woman even today (poor BIL :lol). I think personality plays a big part in whether a child is difficult or laid back. Our DS, almost 3, is for the most part laid back. I wouldn't say he was exactly easy as an infant but as a toddler, there have only been a handful of times that I've found myself completely exasperated with him. Otherwise he's very good natured and a joy to be around.

Kim

[eclipse]

My son is still a difficult child - he's 5! He definitely got happier once he could get around by himself, and was an early crawler/walker. He also rarely slept.

[teachma]

My son is still a difficult child - he's 5!
Yeah same, and mine just turned 6.

[NoHiddenFees]

My best friend here has a very difficult gifted (and even this is an understatement) child who has great difficulty winding down and observing other people's boundaries. One book that proved to be some help was Living With the Active Alert Child (http://www.amazon.com/Living-Active-Alert-Child/dp/1884734774). The first few pages are available for reading on Amazon; early on there's a long checklist that can help you determine if it might apply to your child.

The biggest problem my friend has is keeping the stimulation level down; it's so easy to assume they need more when the case is really that they don't know how to stop on their own. Her DD fought sleep from infancy on and is only now, at almost 5, starting to settle down to a schedule of adequate sleep. All the other stuff (not being able to observe personal boundaries, needing to be in charge, not taking "no" for an answer -- ever) is important too, and it can be wearying to the parent, but lack of adequate sleep was the big one for this family.

[Destinye]

Not sure DD is gifted but she defiintely has signs but there is NO doubt she IS difficult!!!! High needs, spirited, emotional, and definitely bright and challenging.

When she was born she looked straight at me, it was amazing and she studied the pictures in the living room when she was 2 months old, would consistently turn her head to look at the same ones.

[USAmma]

OMG Yes! Still not sure how we survived her 2's and 3's!

[cdahlgrd]

Yes he was REALLY INTENSE and STILL IS (Yes, that was shouting because that is what ds1 does ALL DAY LONG). He found his vocal cords at 2 weeks and hasn't stopped talking since!!

He never slept, he is contantly aksing why, how, who, when, where, etc.

He also insisted on being in the bjorn NOT the sling, because he couldn't see out . . . at 1 month old!!

I prayed for 9 monts that the twins would be calmer kids, and thankfully they are much more laid back. However the contant demand for information is starting and showing NO signs of stopping.

I often tell people that my twins are easier than ds1 EVER was. (THey never believe me, but it is soooo true.)