So, when are you . . .

[gretasmommy]

. . telling your friends/families/coworkers?

older siblings??!!!

This is my second child, and I am reeeeeally excited, bursting with the news! But, I don't want to share too soon. And what is too soon, anyway?

With G, we shared with others news of our new babe around 9 weeks or so. What are you planning at this point? I was thinking of getting an "I am the big sister" shirt for G (easily made, inexpensive, she'll love it!), and giving it to her, taking her pic in it and sending it to grandma. I think she has all but given up on more grandchildren!

[MommyTeesa]

I considered posting the same thing! I'm only 13DPO, but have told my mom and my almost 3.5 year old daughter knows as well (she handed DH the pregnancy test :D). The in-laws have no clue we were even TTC, so it will be a TOTAL SHOCK! Here are some thoughts: Grandparents day is Sept. 10 (have considered the shirt pic idea); we will go to visit them sometime before mid Oct., but that seems so far away, I'll feel like we are lying if we don't tell soon. :D With DD we told them and my dad at 5 weeks (again, my mom right away). :o

[darsmama]

****EDITED TO ADD THE DISCLAIMER THAT I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THAT WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME IS RIGHT FOR YOU! ALSO- THIS POST WAS MOSTLY JUST WONDERING ALOUD IN CYBERSPACE. YES, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.****


:lol Everyone already knows. Not to sound all condensending or anything like that, but for me, personally I trust my body to do the right thing, whatever that is. If forbid, I had a m/c, I'd rather have some help and better understanding from family/friends then if all of a sudden I sprang it on them "I'm m/c" and they didn't even know I was preg. to begin with!

Kinda OT, but I wonder why we always wait to tell people? I mean, we are TRAINED to wait until atleast after 10 weeks. Is that so we don't inconveinance people if something bad happens? I never understood it, kwim?

Plus, I wanted some sympathy for my laziness. I'm pregnant, you know? :lol
I think the right time is up to you individually.

[kdtmom2be]

I'm feeling a little stuck. I want to tell so bad but had just tested the night beore when I took my mother to the airport so she could fly out to see my dad and I wasn't sure that I wanted to tell so soon. She's not back until Oct 6th so I think I'm going to arrange with my brother to pick her up and tell her then. It's her first grandchild so I wanted to tell her in person.

At work, I am up for a promotion, and I hate to say it, but knowing that I am PG would undoubtedly affect thier decision to promote me. I don't want to work for them long-term anyways, but the benefits are good and I would be happy there barring any better offers and need to get into mid/upper management SOON so it will be easier to get a job when kiddos are in school. It's all a bit convoluted, but I have a plan! Anyhow, I'm going to hold off telling them as long as possible. So far I am not having morning sickness and can hide my exhaustion most days. They know I don't sleep well on the best of days (chronic insomniac) so that's nothing new. I've only made a few brainless mistakes so far and that was before even WE knew!

[stanleymama]

We have already told my parents, dh sister, my brother and a couple friends back in WI. WE are trying to get in touch with mil to tell her, but she is really busy right now.

My b-day is a week from tomorrow and dh is planning a "surprise party" for me with our class friends here at school. Only they don't know that I know and that the real suprise is telling them that we are pg!!!

Personally, I am ready to spread the news. Makes it all more real. But in the past we have waited because some family have not been excited or supportive, so why put a damper on our happiness by telling them. Yet now, I just don't care so much and it seems that since we have taken a break, everyone is once again happy to hear that we are expecting.

I agree with a pp, its all a personal choice as to how and when you want to tell.

[jandj+1]

I'm torn. I lost my mother in March, so I know it would really make my family happy to know there's something good coming out of this cursed year. And that makes me want to tell everyone NOW. But, if I do miscarry (threatened already :( ), I don't want to add any more sorrow. Our plates are full already, you know?

So, I'm thinking we'll compromise and spill the beans after we have a confirmed heartbeat.

[clavicula]

i found out i was pg a week after my dad died, so i told my mom. dh knows of course, and some friends, but noone else yet.

[darsmama]

Jand :hug I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. I know you must miss her terribly ):

Clav, and to you too regarding your father ): Very sorry for both of you ladies.

:hug

[Slingin'Momto4]

We already told our other kiddos who are SIKED. My Aunt knows, I didn't tell her she guessed. We have also told one friend. We are not going to tell my Mom, sister or his parents bro/sis for a little while. I am not sure when but I just don't want to hear any negative comments.

[MommyTeesa]

Not that I should defend my decision ... :p I am conflicted because I would love to tell family in person, but we are 6 hours away from ILs and my dad. We aren't going down this long weekend or the next. I agree that I want my family to know I'm pg, even if I miscarry. DH kinda wants to wait, not sure why, probably he think his parents will be overly excited - what's the harm in that? :lol Anyway, there's just no way I will wait until I'm 10-12 weeks - I'm not that strong. :wink Who knows, maybe we'll spill the beans today.

Oh, there are a couple people who know we are ttc - my 2 internship surpervisors and my daughter's preschool/daycare provider - and I will tell them soon, esp. when I start feeling tired and pukey. :lol I kinda wish I'd have not told - generally I'm too forthcoming and keeping a secret is kinda fun, but also feels like lying. :innocent

[darsmama]

Ohhh, I hope no one thought I was attacking or anything like that. ): I just started rambling and didn't stop..
I didn't offend anyone in my PP did I?

[MonkeyPrincess]

The only people who know are my dh, my midwife (I saw her the day I tested!), my sister and her husband (who live with us right now) and my best friend (who I just told two days ago).

I wanted to have the "secret" to myself a little bit and enjoy it for a bit. I know my family will not be so thrilled...they weren't really with the others, so I can't imagine why they'd change their reaction for number 5. :(

I am planning on telling the kids asap, I have a couple things left I want to get to help me tell them. I'm trying to make telling them super fun, since they will probably be the only ones that are excited!

You know what, my neighbors will be happy for me and I am looking forward to telling them. Two of them are pregnant right now, one just about ready to deliver. And another one is trying to get pregnant.

One of the reasons I wanted to wait was that one of my best friends just had a miscarriage and she is having a difficult time with hearing other people are pregnant. She already told me that she will probably not talk to me for a while, if I get pregnant first. So I'd like her to tell me she's pregnant again, then I could tell her!

[MommyTeesa]

I hoped the :p would show I wasn't offended - anyone have insight to help us with our decision? :lol And I'm so sad to hear about the recent losses of parents. :(

[darsmama]

I hoped the :p would show I wasn't offended - anyone have insight to help us with our decision? :lol And I'm so sad to hear about the recent losses of parents. :(

DUH! :lol

I'm sorry, both my daughters have the flu and I haven't went to bed yet! Too sensitive/overtired/horomonally charged still!!!

[darsmama]

Not that I should defend my decision ... :p I am conflicted because I would love to tell family in person, but we are 6 hours away from ILs and my dad. We aren't going down this long weekend or the next. I agree that I want my family to know I'm pg, even if I miscarry. DH kinda wants to wait, not sure why, probably he think his parents will be overly excited - what's the harm in that? :lol Anyway, there's just no way I will wait until I'm 10-12 weeks - I'm not that strong. :wink Who knows, maybe we'll spill the beans today.

Oh, there are a couple people who know we are ttc - my 2 internship surpervisors and my daughter's preschool/daycare provider - and I will tell them soon, esp. when I start feeling tired and pukey. :lol I kinda wish I'd have not told - generally I'm too forthcoming and keeping a secret is kinda fun, but also feels like lying. :innocent

IMO: I'd totally tell everyone ;) with a picture of your DD wearing a "Big Sister 2007" tee or something.
Maybe doing the Home alone face! :lol

[crazyknitter]

Not sure when we will share. 9/28 would have been my edd if I had not miscarried last march, maybe then??
I do think we will tell our kids today, they can keep a secret. As for family, not sure. I will tell close friends, as I need the support.

[EricaE]

I've told a few co-works of mine, but I haven't told any family yet except my mom (try as I may, I cannot keep secrets from my mother :) ). We have suffered many early pregancy losses, and so we're waiting until at least we have a heartbeat before telling family.

[gretasmommy]

So sorry to hear of your losses, Clavicula and JandJ+1. It's so difficult to feel rboth really happy and terribly sad both at once. I remember that feeling with my forst pregnancy, as I was about 14 weeks mid September, 2001. It was absolutely awful, and I felt so conflicted about being even the least little bit happy. Hopefully your new babes will be the center of joy for your families this spring.

Darsmama - I totally agree with you about wanting and needing the support during the difficult first weeks . . .. bit the thing is, I am enjoying my little secret! As much as I am bursting to tell others, I am really loving this special time when DH and I share a moment together, knowing about our little one as someone else is mentioning a friend/relative having a baby this spring. This happened at Meeting (we are Quakers) this morning, and it was so nice! An older Friend was telling us about her upcoming second grandchild, due to join us in late February. I just wanted to tell her about our little one as well, but then it was nice to feel DH just gently squeeze my hand and smile:wink .

Anyway, not sure how/when we will share with the world . . for now, it's nice to have it be "just us" for a little bit longer!

[Lizzo]

I am waiting untill I am 12 weeks to tell almost anyone. My m/c was so horrid and people were pretty cruel to me (friends,family)..I would have rather dealt with it all alone.
I am so excited though!

[gretasmommy]

How awful for you, Lizzo!

People can be terrible, can't they.

:sticky :sticky :sticky

[jandj+1]

Liv & Lizzo :hug all this sorrow in the world....:(

Thanks, Katie & Andrea.

:o I spilled the beans to one of my friends already. We have daughters who are a few weeks apart. Anyway, we hadn't seen each other in a few weeks and were chatting about life in general when she asked me "but how about you? what's going on with you?" I paused for a moment as I mentally composed a generic, non-news-revealing reply. Before I could speak she said "pregnant?" I was so surprised I said "how'd you know?"

Oops.

[FrederickMama]

We have already told a bunch of people ..... and we just got the positive test yesterday.

Everyone already knew we were trying ..... and how much more my husband was looking forward to it than i was.
This is also #4 & my absolute last. My oldest will be 18 about a month after this one is due.
And I feel like I'm too old to keep secrets or ask anyone else too.


But I'm excited ..... and looking forward to a whole new experience this time that will hopefully result in a homebirth.

[momto l&a]

I feel good about this pregnancy so we have told some people already.

I mc the last day in July and am preggo already :thumb

The last pregnancy I told very few because I just didn't feel right about it. Guess I was right. Second time I have felt that way and been right.

The last time i mc was also in July, I don't care much for July :lol

[Adamsmama]

I decided to tell one of my sisters first--she had shared with me that she just got pg a couple of weeks ago, so I wanted to share our news with her. She is due about 3 wks before me. She waited until after she saw the baby on u/s to tell me, though. My other sister I decided to tell as well a few days later (because I didn't want to leaver her out of secret...). We just told DH's brother and his wife. So, I guess we've told most family right away this time, like we did the last 2 times. We just aren't good about holding it in. We've also told almost all of our friends (even though I really really wanted to wait until the end of the 1st trimester--DH didn't).

[kitty waltz]

Well, in my case, telling people wont be a joyful occasion. I moved out of my bf's house a few months ago and we've been trying to 'work things out'.. and I was honestly losing hope on that and considering breaking up w/ him when my period was late. soo.. my family is going to be shocked. Ive told a few friends who are there for me.. I havent even told my bf yet. Im telling him today.. and I am so anxious about it. Hes not going to be happy and he will try to convice me to abort, Im sure. And yell. :( Well I wont even consider it. So I will be going this whole pg pretty much alone. I have a few friends to ask for help if Im having a really hard time but for the most part this is all me. I will tell my mom today, too. Shes really cool and will probably be supportive...

[darsmama]

Kitty :hug

You won't be alone, even though in cyberspace - we'll be here for you :)

[kitty waltz]

thanks, Katie, I needed that.

[*Lindsey*]

Lots of :hug to everyone. I sense a lot of happiness and trepidation, which is totally understandable.

I'm very sorry to those of you whose families will be less than thrilled. My side of the family will not be thrilled, either. They told DH and I to "be happy with the two you've got." :irked: And my mother, a few months back, said: "I hope you aren't calling to tell me you're pregnant! I don't want you to be pregnant again." :dropjaw DH's family, on the other hand, will be ecstatic. They already have 7 grandkids and now 2 more on the way. My SIL is pregnant too, due in January. (Side note: My DS and her DD are 2 months apart, My DD and her other DD are 3 months apart. These babies will be 4 months apart. Sorta ironic!) :)

I'm not sure when we'll tell. I'm just 9 DPO today. I did tell SIL b/c we're so close, and DH of course. ;) I'll be 5 weeks when we have a family reunion w/ 1/2 of DH's side, maybe then. As for my less than enthused side, maybe after he/she is born?? :lol

I look forward to sharing this time with you awesome mama's! :rocks

[didkisa]

I don't tell people a lot of what's going on in my personal life--and TTC was definitely one of them (I didn't tell my family I was going to college, let alone that I had graduated because they just wouldn't care) There aren't very many people out there that I'd feel comfortable getting support from if I m/c (I m/c in March and no one knows, but it doesn't mean I'll never bring it up. I just didn't emotionally felt like I needed to at the time), so why bother telling anyone until I know this is a sticky baby? It has nothing to do with "inconveniencing" others and ALL to do with my own personal comfort level.

What I can't understand is why others can't understand that their way of viewing and handling life events may be different from how others view and handle them, and that it's OK to have different approaches...it keeps things interesting.

I do agree, though, that others knowing about my pregnancy would've made it easier to explain away the extreme fatigue and yucky feelings I've been experiencing (which I mostly keep to myself now).

I very much look forward to starting to tell everyone next week, when I'll be 12 weeks along. The last two months have allowed me and my DH to get acclimated to my pregnancy and enjoy our special little secret, which has a level of intimacy I'll cherish forever. :love:

[Timily74]

I am 4 wks tomorrow (2 wks gestation) and I couldn't hold the news in! lol Just about everyone we know knows now. lol And if something would happen and I have a miscarriage, then at least I have the support....ya know? Due May 16 - and need to find a midwife!! Blessings!

[Goldiemom]

I have no idea how we are going to tell family. We will figure something out sooner or later.

[darsmama]

What I can't understand is why others can't understand that their way of viewing and handling life events may be different from how others view and handle them, and that it's OK to have different approaches...it keeps things interesting.

:
:duck:
I hope this part wasn't directed to me. I was more pondering out loud, as I said and also said ofcourse the right time is up to everyone individually. :lol maybe its the pregnancy horomones on both our sides, but I never said it was in any way WRONG to wait. Just that I never understood waiting, for me.
:p


BTW: We told MIL last night, her response: "Well I guess if your happy, I'm happy.." and then went on to brag about this cute little red haired baby boy grandbaby that was just born on the 3rd to her other son.
Hurt my Dh's feelings considerably, considering MIL has NEVER tried to make any effort to acknowledge our children, wedding, etc.
It's ok though, secretly I prefer it that way :loveeyes:

ETA: Duh, Did isn't part of the ddc anyways. She probably won't even see this..Oh well :shrug

[darsmama]

:welcome to all the new May expectant mommies!

[GuavaLava]

I'm only 12dpo and we're planning to wait until Thanksgiving to tell family. DH is military and we live so far away. They all think our 4 year old dd is IT for us.

Friends will know sooner, not sure when. DD will be told when it's more obvious. I want to burst and blurt it out to the world though!

ETA: Awww, who am I kidding? I'll never last that long.

[darsmama]

:lol Guava

[emiLy]

I told my mom on Monday. I'm not planning on telling anyone else IRL for a few more weeks, when I'm 8-10 weeks.

[trmpetplaya]

I've told two of my friends (and of course dh) already. I will tell my mom this weekend (I'll be 7 weeks on Friday I think... from lmp - hopefully the nursing didn't mess with me too much). I'll probably announce it at church on Sunday. I agree that I'd rather people know if I mc than have to go through it alone. My siblings won't know till I'm 3 months along because they're still pretty young. And they don't live close by so there's no reason to get their hopes up right now and maybe have them be disappointed again.

I would tell my mom before this weekend, but we have no land-line and our cell phones are free on the weekend. I can't call after 9 because they're 3 hours ahead of us.

We went to the store and looked at pg tests today and decided that I'm so sure that I'm pg that it would be silly to take one at this point :loveeyes:

love and peace. :love

[Amylcd]

I've already told everyone

[mightymoo]

We told as soon as the second line showed up with our first. With #2 we decided to wait the 12 weeks, but we were far from family and weren't going to be seeing them so it wasn't like they would have really known or could have helped with a m/c anyway.

Now we are closer to family and thought we'd tell right away, but that would have been on a vacation when my brother was getting engaged, so we felt it was stealing their thunder. I'm kinda inclined to wait because I hate the first few months in terms of being overweight - I don't want anyone to tell me I look pregnant when I'm 6 weeks you know. Also, it delays the amount of time you have to deal with people asking you about the baby, etc. :) So I dunno, we'll see when it comes out.

[ColinsMommy]

Right now we plan to try to wait until Thanksgiving to tell DH's family because all the family will be together - maybe get a cute "future big brother shirt" for DS or something. We'll tell friends and my super-small family sooner probably, haven't decided when yet. The problem is that I had such an awful pregnancy last time around (non-stop nausea the entire pregnancy and separated pelvis) that I don't know if I'll be able to hide it! MS hasn't kicked in yet (I'm only 5 weeks) but maybe, just MAYBE, it won't hit me as hard this time?! :wink

Last time I was just absolutely bursting with the news and told everyone right off--this time I'm just not in a hurry for some reason...

[Goldiemom]

Well, I got the telling of my paternal Grandmother, and my Mom/Maternal Grandmother done today. From the first Grandma I got the usual response of "Oh how wonderful! I love babies!" She also says at least I did a better job of spacing out my 3rd and 4th than she did her 1st and 2nd (only 10 months), so that I shouldn't let what anyone else says get to me. I love my Grandma. My Mom just said that what is is, so we will just deal with it and move on. I imagine that she told her Mom as soon as she got off the phone with me, since she was there when I called. So that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and now I can rest easier. *sigh*

Now to tell dh's family. Don't know that I can tell them the same way I did my family. :rolleyes They are good people, just big worriers. Good luck to everyone when they tell family. I hope that everyone gets at least one IRL positive response.