I just don't know how to do this. I try and I try to get the kids to do homework before I get to them. I have them in an afterschool program, but the program doesn't enforce homework. They just can't wait until I get them home to start to do homework. When we get home it is close to 6pm, dinner needs to be done, chores need to be done. We will have no time as a family if they wait. I am tired too. How do I convince them to work while at school. How do other parents get thier middle schoolers to focus on homework without being there to make them? I don't want to have to stand over them all the time to insure homework is being done. What do other mothers do?

personally this was one of the many reasons I started homeschooling. Although they may be middle schoolers they DO need your supervision and encouragement for homework: they, TOO are overtired and overbooked. No easy answers but truly, they are still kids and while you have to hear their side, only you can decide how to make it work. I might take them out of after school care which is apparently a waste of their time and hire a babysitter who would enforce homework AND wash dishes and make dinner and do laundry. Maybe just one or 2 days a week if that's all you can afford. Or one of those programs where you cook everything on the weekend and freeze it and just reheat that all those organized people do? It is impossible to do 3 fulltime jobs perfectly (housework, parent, breadwinner) so just some soul searching on priorities might be helpful. .

If you don't consider this bribing (and I don't), you could point out things that you could have done with your kids, had they done their homework earlier. Maybe like a "Man, we could have popped some corn and watched XYZ if we didn't have to worry about finishing this homework at this hour" or futuristically "Hey kids, I was going to take you mini-golfing after dinner tomorrow, as long as your homework is done by then!"

I'm not sure how old your kiddos are--could you just sit them down and explain that there are lots of family things that you'd like to do but can't because they haven't done their homework?

I'm pretty lucky with ds--he finishes his homework in about 15 minutes, and he does it mostly on his own, so I have a chance to prepare dinner without interruptions.

Have you tried problem-solving with your kids on this? It seems likely that they need a break from schoolwork after a full day at school, so from their POV doing homework at their afterschool program doesn't work.

I agree with simplifying dinner... use a crock pot, or cook double-batches on weekends, or just eat meals that are quick to cook - I can whip up stir fry in under half an hour, and even less if I have rice already made. Maybe time doing homework can be family time, too... maybe they'd like to do homework at the kitchen table while you prepare dinner or do dishes.

FWIW, I homeschool (unschool), so homework isn't an issue, but I generally leave my middle schooler home by herself when I'm at work or school, or else she bikes herself to her dance classes. She even cooks dinner sometimes...

dar