wohm mamas & isolation

[QueenSheba'sMom]

One thing that strikes me about woh is that it is extremely difficult to meet other parents/kids/families.

I have managed to find some great playgroups (at least, they seem great. Who knows if they are- haven't had time to go-), but they've always been for sahm's.

There are the great library and local play programs and mama support and exercise with baby groups, all for sahms.

Has anyone had any success meeting other parents/kids/families? How?

I have fantasies about summer bbq's where the kids are running around playing and the parents are grilling veggies and talking.

[1jooj]

I'm waiting for pre-baby friends to "catch up," and they're getting there. One just had a baby, and another is due soon. Another had one a while ago, but our work schedules conflict so badly we never see one another--and our parenting styles conflict so much that when we do get together, it's just long enough to leave me shocked or sad...:(

[Liz]

Our playgrounds and community centres are filled with WOHP on weekends.

[whateverdidiwants]

No luck here. I actually unsubscribed from a local email group for mamas because I got so frustrated seeing invitations for Tuesday afternoon meetups at the museum (or similar). No one around here wants to get together on the weekends.

[QueenSheba'sMom]

We're waiting for our friends to catch up, too. Which is one thing with one kid, but another with two. I'm nursing, pregnant & pooped, and they want to go out drinking and clubbing.

I second that playground sentiment. Playgrounds can really be heavenly over the weekends when they're busy. And it helps the kids to nap better! It's a great way to be around other parents.

I just haven't crossed the barrier into "come on over and potluck"

...........ooooooooohh potluck............

Is it possible to form friendships with playground parents? I suppose most of 'em are in the same boat...

[Liz]

Originally posted by .me.
Is it possible to form friendships with playground parents? I suppose most of 'em are in the same boat...

Yeah they're in the same boat, probably live in the same neighbourhood (if you are at your neighbourhood playground/community centre), and you can easily figure out if their kids are the same age as yours. I have only met one parent at the playground that I've become friends with but it's been great. We have SO much in common!

[normee]

I enrolled first dd in Early Childhood Family Education which met on a weekday night. We met lots of WOHF there and dd made one good friend who we do activities with and exchange babysitting with. Second dd is now in ECFE but so far we haven't clicked with anyone there.

A lot of our friends have kids but they all work too so it's hard to find time to get together though it is nice when we do.

Normee
Mommy to Katie (7/3/99) and Abby (6/30/01)

[Chi-Chi Mama]

sorry no advice here, just feel your pain...

and I try to spend as much time as I can with dh on the weekends, too.. so that makes it harder to even try to connect with other mamas.

between my job, dh's business and our house, our lives are so busy. But it would be nice to have some like-minded IRL friends :(

[Liz]

I don't know how old your child is but I have found that most parents of toddlers are desperately seeking playmates. My son is no longer content playing at home and doing parent stuff all weekend. We have to go to the playground or have a play date every weekend.

[hulamama]

I agree....the isolation is very big for me. Especially with no family in the area. I dream of sending little notes to other new moms that work at my dh's school and one teacher that has a new baby that comes to my dd's daycare--to form a little WOHM weekend play group, but I am too chicken. I wish I was more brave.

Did anyone see that article about just this problem in Working Mother last month. She started it a few years ago--one Saturday a month and it has like 40 moms in it! I just don't know where to begin.

[indiegirl]

I'm with you! I am on maternity leave and have been able to foster a couple of really great relationships with other mamas--all of whom are SAHM's. The thing that gets me about "me" when I am working is how incredibly spread thin I am. I feel like I don't have the emotional energy or time to devote to fostering friendships. So I get lonely and then feel down on myself...but how can I foster these relationships and put my all into my family?

I was thinking of starting a working parents playgroup in my area--on Saturday mornings or something. I don't know if folks would come because I have a feeling they may be just as tired as we are!

Jesse

[indiegirl]

Originally posted by hulamama
I agree....the isolation is very big for me. Especially with no family in the area. I dream of sending little notes to other new moms that work at my dh's school and one teacher that has a new baby that comes to my dd's daycare--to form a little WOHM weekend play group, but I am too chicken. I wish I was more brave.


What a great idea! How about this: I believe in you! I think you can do this and I am sending you some courage ju-ju to do this. In fact, I am issuing you a challenge--that within one month, you'll have done this. Are you up for it?? I double-dog dare you! You rock, mama! I'm sure there are other parents who feel just like we do.

Jesse

[1jooj]

hulamama, how about if you look at it this way--I'd absolutely sparkle if I got an invite like that. Think of how excited it would make you...I am sure the other new mamas would have a similar reaction. They're waiting for your notes!

[hulamama]

indiegirl and ummnah, thanks! I know, I know. Just last month a mom of a little girl that my dd loves put a little note in my box with her phone number. I was over the moon.... :) We did get together this last weekend...but she will be going back to being a SAHM this fall and she lives a half hour away....it looks like we won't be frequently meeting, but it is something. I need to do that for the moms in my area......I will hatch a plan and do that by the end of the school year. I will, I will, I will. :)

Now, how about you two? :)

[natashaccat]

Yeah,
I feel pretty isolated also and the only time dd gets to see other kids is sundays when we go to the laundrymat. DH works nights and I work days in a solitary basement office. I have great no kid friends and we do lunch etc on weekends but my weeknights are pretty lonely. I really wish I had an afterwork walking partner for a relaxing stroll after work.